Equestrian meteor shower

by Innactive Account

Chapter 3

I said I'm sorry

Goddamn, it was gonna be one of those days, isn't it? Ryan thought to himself as the blue pony started to scream her damn head off. "Holy fuck, just calm down okay? Please?" Ryan tried to get in as, still, the blue one screamed.

"Look, I said I'm greatly embarrassed, and wish that I had handled that situation differently, okay? Now will you just SHUT THE FUCK UP!?" Nope, still screaming. So Ryan decided it would be best to remove himself from the situation at hand. goddamn, how big were that ponies lungs?! Well, if you take into account that the ponies lungs are fucking huge because of the fact it is a pegasus, they have to have more air because the higher up the thinner the air becomes. Shut the hell up brain. Nope.

So, he felt like sitting in the waiting room and watching his favorite show. RVB.

He slipped on his helmet. "At least I don't go around, knocking on people's non-doors, promising them cookies, AND NOT GIVING THEM COOKIES. I'm leaving." Caboose ranted to sarge. All of the sudden the nurse, red kidney or something came up to him and asked him why he was bothering the ponies in the waiting room with all of the screaming.

"Lady, there are no other living beings in this room other than you or me. So if you could kindly GTFO, that would be appreciated. "

Put that bitch in her place. Then, all of a sudden a bright light appeared and once it died down some giant albino pony with a horn and wings stood in its place. Was it mentioned that it had a sun on its butt. It just stood there waiting for him to pay it some respect. Nope, not a CO, no respect. Then it screamed as loud as, if not louder than blue In the other room.

"WHY HAVE YOU HARMED MY LITTLE PONIES?" He'd had it with these ponies, one second they're all nice, albeit, crazy. Then hostile, then nice, then hostile again.

"I'VE FUCKING HAD IT WITH ALL OF YOU FUCKING PONIES TREATING ME LIKE IM A FUCKING DOORMAT. FUCK OFF BITCH, OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF." He saw a tinge of fear flash in her eyes, but she was standing firm, so he took his m6c out and shot it, not at sunbutt, no, he shot the wall blocking the inside off from the out side, effectively putting a roughly foot by foot hole in the wall. I mean, is a wall going to survive a fifty cal round? Nope.

ODSTs, not something an elite zealot would like to face in a bad mood. Not something sunbutt wanted to face in a bad mood either.

So what ran through her mind was to try and levitate him, and restrain him. Not fuckin happening. He saw her horn light up and immediately took it as a threat, what do ODSTs do to threats? They quell them. So he ran foreword, grabbed her horn, and threw her face into the floor. Bitch ain't gettin up for awhile.

Then, through some fucking miracle, five more ponies emerged from another shiny fucking light. I just can't fucking win today? Can I god? He thought to himself. These ones were the ones from the castle. The first one got a chuck Norris kick to the face. The other four backed away slowly, startled at how hostile this creature was. Up in the right hand corner of his helmet flashed "Authorize: Hostile?"

"Hostile." he replied. They all suddenly became outlined by a bright red.

Hot damn, he must have an effect on ponies. They all backed away at the word hostile. However, the ponies quickly recovered, and one with a orange coat barked at them. Two of the four tried to rush him. So he picked them both up by their necks and smashed their heads together. Now, it was his turn. He ran up and superman punched the lead one. That left the orange one.

It backed away slowly, fear all showing In its eyes.

"I'm gonna have fun with you. Muwahahaha!" Ryan laughed maniacally.

"YOU SHALL NOT TOUCH HIM." He spun around to see sunbutt.

"Gooood morning sunbutt, how was your nap? I'm just taking care of my *ahem* attackers. So If you could spare me a moment, I shall be right with you." He shot back. A look of sheer anger crossed her face when he diminutively talked to her.

She had spaced out for so long, that only when Flash Sentry slid to a stop in front of her, bloodied and bruised, did she snap out of it. She had made a decision! She was going to use a sleeping spell on the creature. So, before it could turn around she cast the spell, and watched as it collapsed to the floor.

Time lapse mother fuckers

Ryan awoke in a cell. It was a small open cell with naught but a cot and toilet. The cot's metal was slightly rusted, but enough so it was still usable. He got up and walked around to see if there were any useful supplies. Hopefully Derpy was ready with their little "contingency" plan. After the RD and AJ fight and a half hour walk through the forest, Ryan found Derpy, went back to her house, and formed a contingency plan. All Derpy had to do was deliver a package. That's all.

\\ Access code:************

\\Access data base:

File: system diagnostics

\\Searching please wait...

\\All systems functional

\\Access data base:

File: Weapons and munitions

\\M6C: unaccounted for

SRS99AM: unaccounted for

M90: unaccounted for

M9: 4 accounted for; full payload

Flashbangs: 3 accounted for; 1 detonated

Tactical knife: accounted for

M6C: ammo: (rucksack) 120 rounds; ten magazines

SRS99AM: ammo: (rucksack) 32 rounds; eight mags

M90: ammo: (rucksack) 150 slugs

"Creature, the princess is waiting for you at your trial." A pony had walked up to his cell as he was checking his ammo and munitions.

"Trial? Trial for what? Living?! Fuck off." The pony was surprised that Ryan had just back talked to his captors.

The pony drew his sword and threatened him "You WILL come now, or I will use force. Now up." It said.

So he replied "I am no dog."

So it sheathed its sword and asked politely "Could you please come, the princess demands your presence."

He smiled in his helmet " Okay, but I'm allowed to call bullshit."

Minutes later.

"All rise for her majesty, raiser of the sun, princess Celestia." Ryan heard as he walked through huge boors. As he walked in he saw the blue pony he beat the shit out of as well as the orange one with the Stetson. There were also four he didn't know; a purple one, a pink one, a white one, and finally a yellow one. Derpy was also there, with the package. And when he looked up from them, there was the one pony whom he wished to never see again: it was sunbutt.

"I CALL BULLSHIT!"