NOT Doing Hurtful Things To Your Waifu

by The Derpy Doctor

Carrot Top

I should warn: most of what I know about carrot top is derived from “beyond her garden” by: Animatedjames and by one short comic. I’m also assuming that laptops exist, because I can and it makes this more convenient.

You are an earth pony archaeologist.

Carrot Top searched her garden for ripe carrots and peppers. To be completely honest, Carrot Top was looking for anything in her garden that she could sell. She needed more money this month of all months. This month she had had disappointment and rejection. She’d lost something very important to her and needed to find something to calm her nerves. She needed a day away from her garden and away from her house. She’d take her daughter, golden harvest and she’d leave it all. And maybe there’d be somepony to help her stay forever. She didn’t want this life. She hated rejection and regardless of whatever happened while she was gone, she had her time away. She just needed the money to do so and she needed to forget her pain. She needed release.

Carrot grabbed the root of a ripe-looking potato. “This could do well as a contribution to Carrot’s ‘vacation fund.’” she thought to herself as she pulled hard on the base of the plant. Obviously the roots of the plant had to go deep into the earth beneath carrot’s garden. The potatoes wedged themselves in the earth, giving no way. Finally the vine snapped right where the potatoes were. Carrot Top pulled away the plant and found all of one potato on the end of.

“Seriously?” Carrot thought, “The rest must have broken off under ground while I was pulling.”

She then went to work digging at the large, underground, golden glories. Afterall, who wouldn’t like potatoes as fresh as these ones come?

Dirt gave way beneath her hooves and after a while, she could finally see the ripe, perfect vegetable, but the ground hardened on a fork, barely holding the potato beneath two ribs of hard ground.

“No.” said Carrot aloud, “I am NOT wasting a profit on this potato, because I couldn’t get it out of the ground.”

With that, Carrot trotted into her house to get a spade.

“Mom?!” called Golden Harvest from the kitchen, “how many tablespoons of black pepper…?”

“One!” called Carrot to her daughter. She had taught her daughter to cook dinner while she was busy in the yard, just to save time and money on that necessity. It was necessary if either of them were finally going to get out of this town.

“Thanks!” Golden called back.

Carrot grabbed the old, rusty spade from the tool cabinet and walked outside to fulfill her “potato retrieving duty.” Upon returning to the hole she had dug, Carrot hit her shovel against the hard ground, making a *clank* noise every time she hit it.

“Wait a minute,” Carrot said as she put her head closer to the formation of the ground that wedged her potato to its prison. Carrot dug around the hardened ground, deeply now with the spade. This wasn’t dirt. It was ribs Carrot had dug up an ancient burial ground. Her bruised eye hung over the artifact treasure cove of her own garden, staring into the mysterious grounds beneath her.

You finally arrive at the artifact site, everything the news was saying has been that a yard chalk-filled with artifacts has been hiding right underneath a bed of potatoes and peppers.

You, as an archaeologist, have been called to the scene. It’s now your job to help identify the findings.

“Pardon me,” said somepony new as she walked up to you.

“Yes, ma’am, is there something I can help you with?” you respond, trying to be very professional.

“Yes, I’m the one that found the… place,” she informed.

“Oh, I see, yes. I am here to help sort out the details on your findings,”

“So you’re the archaeologist?” she asked, some level of want crawling into her voice.

“Yes,” you say, serious although noting her tone.

“Does your job take you many places?” the mare asked politely but beggingly.

“It does, but right now I’m just here in Ponyville for a few days. With that, it seems it’s about time I get back to my job,” you try to get back to your work, saying what you must to pull away in the nicest way you know how.

You continue to work at the newly discovered artifact site.

Carrot trotted away from you and into her house, blushing strongly. When the door to her house was closed behind her, she put her hooves up to her cheeks in nervousness, blushing even stronger.

At every hour at least, you would see the mare inside supposedly “doing chores,” but you’d catch her looking at you as you investigated the site in her backyard. Why shouldn’t she? She was having her yard dug-up at a full expense paid and reimbursed. Every profit that she would have made on her crops has been more than made up for and some of the things that you’ve been digging up have been quite interesting.

However, as the day goes on, you notice more and more that the mare inside was looking at you in particular. Her bruised eye would look at you for just long enough for you to look back and catch her gaze. She’d then snap out of her expression and get back to whatever it was she was doing.

This continues to happen between her and you for the following two days.

You arrive on the fourth day of the archeological site and ponies have started to pack their things and leave. The artifacts had mostly been dug up and they were moving on. Of course, you, being the identifier and helper in determination, had to stay behind to clear everything else on the site up, then it would be time to go. You look over all the artifacts and write on the paper in front of you about their origins and file every one of them. It’s boring. All of the paperwork builds on you and gives you a headache. You look at your cutie mark: a broken fossil. You really didn’t enjoy doing your job all that much, but after doing it for so long, you’ve come to find a need to do it regardless of the pain it gives your head.
You finally finish the paperwork and pack it all into your briefcase. You trot over to your carriage to go home and hopefully get some sleep.
Your path get quickly interrupted, though. Carrot Top jumped in front of you to prevent your absence.

“Sorry,” she started, “I just wanted to ask if you’d maybe wanna go out to dinner tonight before you leave?”

You two had only talked once, briefly, but of course you had already asked other mares out to dinner with a lot less recognition than that. You don’t particularly have to know a person to go out with them.

You respond with a “yes”as you recall that you really needed food and it would be rude to say ‘no.’ Plus you didn’t have any reason against doing it, so why not?

You escort her into the passenger side and close the door behind her before getting in on your side and allowing her to tell the driver what restaurant you’re going to.

You wait for the server to sit the two of you before each of you are allowed to take a seat. You’ve never been here before, but considering she’d spent a good amount of time living in Ponyville, you do consider she has great taste in restaurants.

“What are you having?” she asked enthusiastically.

You look down at your menu and study it, closely. “I think I’ll have the hayghetti,” you say, trying to sound just as responsive to her as she to you.

“Good choice,” she said obviously trying harder than she should to sound nice and significant.

The waiter came to take your menus and as he does, carrot excused herself to the bathroom.

“Pardon me, I need to go rarefy myself.” she told you, as she left the table for the bathroom.

You wait patiently before she came back about ten minutes later with makeup and eyelash extensions on her face. She had some fancy skin-care thing over her eye to try to patch up the bruise that had been left there. Her mane had been redone to make her look better and… it worked. You find yourself looking at her as she had done often as you were working on her yard, but catch yourself and change your expression.
Something seemed strange about her appearance, though.

“Well, hello. You look… really nice,” you congratulate her.

“Thank you.” she responded, smiling widely. Too widely.

“Y-you’re welcome,” you continue.

You help the mare back into her chair and pushed it back in. Carrot looked up at you in a happy way, probably to thank you for acting like such a gentlecolt, but you would do this on any date. It’s not that big of a deal to you.

After what seemed like hours, the waiter finally came with your food and gave you and Carrot what you ordered.

Carrot tried to hold her drink in a fancy way, but spilled it on the table. You help her to quickly clean it up as she repeatedly apologised. You keep telling her that “it’s okay” and “everypony does it,” but she apologises regardless.

When dinner is finally over, you let Carrot Top out of the carriage and help her up to her doorstep. Before she lets herself in, though you try to encounter her.

“Carrot?”

“Yes?”

“Back at the restaurant, you seemed to be putting a lot of effort into the date. Is there something wrong?”
Carrot touched her poorly covered up bruise and looked at the ground. “Yes,” she admitted.

“What is it?”

“I didn’t want you to leave just yet. I wanted…”

You gaze into her eyes as they swelled with pain.

She remembered strongly getting hurt last time she trusted to love somepony.

“...I just wanted to come with you.”

“Huh?” you question.

“You know. I don’t want to live in this small town anymore. There are sites that I want to explore. Things I want to see. I don’t want to stay in this small home my whole life. I want to go somewhere. And… I think I want to do it with you.”

You smile slightly at the adorable mare looking at you.

“I understand,” you confirm, “but you wouldn’t need to try so hard for me. I’m just an archaeologist from Manehattan. I’ve eaten lunch in the wind on a sandstorm in saddle-arabia.”

Carrot giggled a little at your words.

“And I think you’re beautiful either way,” you finish.

Carrot blushed again.

“Thanks,” the mare agreed, “Thanks for everything.”

Carrot then opened the door to her house and started to walk in.

You think for a moment before speaking aloud: “if you want to be around the world, I have an idea for you.”

“Really?” responded the newly saddened mare, “What?”

Months later…

You stream live video through a company laptop to Carrot Top.

“Hello!” you say across the feed to the mare and her filly child on the other end.

“Hello!” she responded.

“So, carry? you started asking.

“U-huh?” she asked.

“You know how you always wanted to see the pyramids?”

“Yes?” replied Carrot.

You moved your way out of the screen to present three pyramids behind you.

“They’re beautiful!” she exclaimed over the other end of the computer.

“Yeah, but guess what?”

“What?” Carrot asked.

“My company finally gave me the raise I need to get the two of you over here with me while I’m busy digging up the mummies.”

“That’s great!” Carrot responded.

“One more thing,” you say to the pony that you’ve gotten to know better than anypony. The pony you love more than anything. The pony that makes you forget about the troubles of your job every time you see her.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“I just couldn’t wait ‘till you got here to ask,” you acknowledged, pulling out a ring from its convenient pouch in the case behind you.

“Will you marry me?”

Everyone deserves attention.

Everyone’s dreams can be accomplished one way or another.

And when it’s love, you won’t need to try so hard. Just be yourself.

Author's Note:

I tried to do something different this time. Sorry if it didn't work out. My editor wasn't able to look over it, so I had to do the editing myself and hope I'm as smart as I think I am (I'm not). This was a chapter on request. If you guys have any requests, please put them in the comments below. If you have requested some pony, please know that I'm trying to do that as of this moment.:rarity wink: Always trying to fulfill them. This chapter, I understand was going to be about another person, but she still hasn't looked at it, so I moved onto this one.
Thank you,
The Derpy Doctor.

Comments

[mercenary553]

Another success can't wait for the next one

[The Derpy Doctor]

6057517 Thanks.

[Rye Snoot]

This is exciting. I can't wait for more.