Pony-Losophy

by Newenglandee

Speaking with the "Enemy": Discord

"So how were you actually born?"

Twilight was not quite used to how Discord managed to so thoroughly take the laws of time and space, bend them over and make them squeal like a pig. Even for a mare who'd seen countless magical marvels, the things Discord did didn't just defy all logic and sensibility, they were weird in how they defied all logic and sensibility. Pinkie Pie's odd "Pinkie Sense" happened whenever something odd was about to go down or something was seconds from squishing her. But it functioned on it's own kind of logic, to a point.

Yet Discord? What logic could there be in suddenly pulling out various umbrellas from his pocket along with a pair of sunglasses and a glass of lemonade? What made what he did work? How did he work? And why?

"I really actually am not entirely sure. As I said, I remember things differently. Some days, one way. Some days another." Discord remarked as he leisurely sipped from the lemonade, sitting in midair on a floaty he'd somehow made appear. Odder still, they'd somehow ended up inside of a large pool he'd pulled out from his "pockets", and Twilight had to cast a spell to form an air bubble around her and Discord. Or rather, she'd wanted to. But somehow, she was able to breathe perfectly and the notebook she had wasn't getting wet one iota as Discord just smiled knowingly at her. "One thing I do remember is how the first pony told me how Equestria was born. First came the Elements of Harmony, born from the seed of new Life. And then all other good things followed thereafter, like a giant oak growing from the little acorn that was the Elements." He informed her.

"How'd it get here? Did this "First Pony" tell you?"

"The exceedingly lovely Ms. Faust, as she called herself, said a gigantic white hand placed itself upon the Earth and then removed it, leaving behind the Elements and she, the first pony, was born to help protect them and watch them grow the new life this world would create." Discord said as he clapped his hands, and the pool vanished. He then blinked his eyes before turning to the side, and light shone from out of his eyelids onto a nearby large rock. Now Twilight could see a film playing out, seeing through Discord's eyes as he spoke with what had to be the most adorably beautiful-looking pony she'd ever seen. She was very young, that much was obvious, with eyes as starlight and hair that flowed freely like a summer breeze. Her tone was maternal and lighthearted as she chatted with Discord, gesturing around at various other species who were all gathered about the Elements as they shone high in the sky over what Twilight almost instantly recognized as Canterlot. Or at least, a more primitive version of it. Though the materials were crude wood and plant texture woven together into a unique frame, the structures were the same, she could recognize the towers from a mile away.

"And that's where they sprouted up. Then bit by bit, the others sort of...popped into existence from the Elements." Faust admitted as she gestured with her hooves. "It was like firecrackers whizzing through the air, and when they slammed together in an explosion of color and light, I could hear music splashing across the sky, and then down, down onto the ground came each of these critters!"

"Well how did those Elements get here, my dear?"

"It was put down there. Don't know why the giant wanted it there, but...there it was. I have to admit, I didn't see your birth. Where'd you come from?"

"Not...quite sure. It's all fuzzy to me. I think I can remember a goat, some tequila and a drunk cat, but beyond that..."

Faust laughed. "You're funny! But you don't look too hot right now."

Discord's voice was somewhat strained as he nervously coughed. "Yes, I, uh...well, I feel...very odd when I'm close to the Elements. Did that giant who put them down say anything about them?"

"Just that they'd give life to this world. He asked me and my little ponies I'd make to try and care for the world and to embody the best the Elements offered. Said he was trying to see Life play out in "Microcosm" to prove it's inherent goodness."

"...inherent goodness, eh?"

Discord then blinked, and the video finished as he turned back to Twilight and chuckled. "That's when I first got the inkling to be the bee in everyone's bonnet. It would be hilarious! I didn't need anyone else telling me what my purpose was. If she felt that was what her and her kind were meant to do, more power to her, but I? No, see...I figured something out." He tapped the side of his head as his sunglasses and cup vanished, and he walked over to a nearby cell with a tarp over it, making Twilight blink.

"Wait, who's in there?"

"Oh. We have a very bad apple. Your dear friend Night Mare Moon, that horrible spirit is currently undergoing what I like to call "reconditioning"." The Huntsman spoke up from the side. "Mr. Discord agreed to assist us. I was quite surprised." The starry-bodied being intoned as he held a clawed hand up to the tarp, ready to remove it. "It involves programming meant to instill certain...feelings into you. And certain desires. It acts as a deterrent to criminals far more superior than incredibly long jail times or the death penalty."

"Yes, because just half an hour of this is more effective than any torture could be." Discord chuckled as he began to giggle, trying to surpress mad laughter.

"Why, what's she watching?" Twilight asked sincerely as the jailer removed the tarp, the helmeted fiend that was Night Mare Moon now sitting in a chair, watching a screen as a film played before her. Her deep blue eyes were wide as saucers, flowing mane now flopped almost to the ground as she tugged at her eyelids, sobbing incoherently.

"Freddy Got Fingered." Discord explained.

"Daddy would you like some sausage? Daddy would you like some sau-sag-es? Daddy would you like some sausage?"

The Huntsman nodded sagely. "It is extraordinarily effective."

"SAUSAGES! SAUSAGES!" Night Mare Moon screamed out.

"I don't even think Night Mare MOON deserves that." Twilight murmured as she looked over at Discord with a slight frown. "I have to ask. Is that really all you are? Just making trouble for other people in the name of getting your jollies? That's so...hedonistic. So lacking. So unfulfilling."

"To somebody like you, yes. From your point of view, my life no doubt seems empty." Discord said as he put a hand on his chest, dramatically swooning. "Oh woe! Prithee, forsooth! My life art empty without the sanguine grace of Harmony! Fetcheth the reptile!"

"Be serious!" Twilight groaned, rolling her eyes as Discord calmly put the tarp back on to muffle Night Mare Moon's screams as he began searching through another "pocket", pulling out a...black circle? "Wait. Is that a hole? Why do you have a hole in your pocket?"

"I fixed it to keep my mind from wandering." He remarked as he slid his hand into it, pulling out several letters which he began to arrange in front of Twilight. A trumpet noise loudly proclaimed his success as she read the word, pursing her lips as she held a hoof up.

"Existentialism?"

"Yes, my little pony. Those like yourself may say that people have a purpose in life decided in advance by either a God, or by Nature or some great Force like...say..." He gesticulated with his hands, waving them about. "The Elements of Harmony! But I reject this view. I'm not an atheist. I mean, how can I be with all I've seen? No, the fact a person might believe in the power of Harmony doesn't change the fact that the meaning of life and the state of the world is an entirely personal affair. There's no real comfort you can find in trying to seek a divine plan or using destiny as an excuse for why something has occurred. No, existence precedes essence, my dear."

Discord sat down in midair, wagging a clawed digit back and forth. "People like you, people like me, we are born. Then, through our actions, our decisions, we construct what makes us "us". Whether we are good or bad or funny or stupid, whether we're an absolute delight, or a total buzzkill!" He stroked his heard, winking at her with his yellow, red-pupiled eyes and smiling broadly. "And I'm not saying your genetics play a role either. No, only we determine what we are. Our personality isn't predetermined. And I don't truly believe in fate. Not really. There are no clear answers on why we're here or why we die. We're all abandoned in the universe, and the fact we must all one day die limits our freedom." He sighed, hanging his head. "That...that is the greatest tragedy of all."

"No offense, but that sort of life kind of still sounds empty." Twilight admitted. "It sort of sounds like you don't have any reason to exist. If there's not any kind of entity or divine force or anything to give you at least some idea of what to do with your life, or if you think that all life is so limited by the prospect of death, then it sort of makes life seem...lesser. Being abandoned with no idea what to, with no idea what will or could happen beyond "You're going to die" is just so...heartless."

"You need to look at it from a different perspective." Discord said, his sad face turning literally upside down as he smiled. "Do you know of the Minotaur culture?"

"Yes. I know of King Minos and of their race quite extensively. Why?" Twilight asked as she scratched her head, Discord putting his own head back on normally as he walked over to the rock he'd been broadcasting his memory on. He began quickly cutting and clawing into it before, at last, it was a perfectly smooth sphere, and he patted it with one hand.

"There is a legend they have. The myth of Sisyphus. He supposedly managed to trick Death itself into tying itself up with the very chains he used to keep hold of wicked souls! And for this crime, after weeks of nobody being able to die, they finally discovered he was behind it all. And for his punishment, he was condemned to roll a rock up a mountain every single day. Rolling, rolling, rolling. Keep that doggy rolling! And then the rock would fall aaaaaaaaaaall the way down the other side, and he'd have to roll it back up again." Discord explained to Twilight as he patted the rock he was resting on now. "It was futile and hopeless labor. Every day, pushing the rock up the hill over and over again."

"Not being able to die doesn't sound so bad." Twilight admitted.

"If a person is chronically ill, lying in a hospital bed, unable to feel anything but pain, or in a totally comatose state, their mind long gone...wouldn't it be kinder to kill them?" The Huntsman asked of her, his tone soft and sad as Twilight bit her lip.

"Okay, well...maybe there's some cases when it'd be okay."

"Or imagine. Somebody having their head cut off and not being able to die. Or having arrows sticking out of every body part, yet not being able to die. Does that sound like a life they'd want to keep having?"

"Well when you put it like THAT!" Twilight gulped. "Did that actually happen?"

"Yes, it did." Discord said. "And needless to say, people were panicking. Cities were burning because it had become "Night of the Living Dead". And so Sisyphus got what he deserved."

"A life without meaning? That's still...so sad." Twilight murmured, shaking her head back and forth, waving a hoof in the air. "If I had to do that sort of thing every day, I might kill myself! Why didn't Sisyphus try to?"

"Because he came to understand something. Something I came to understand too." Discord said as he pointed at the floating word "Existentialism" as it kept hovering in the air. "Existentialism asks us to accept and face the absurdness of life. To embrace it. Sisyphus accepts his lot in life. He walks down that hill to get the rock and roll it up again, and in doing so, becomes stronger than his rock. He doesn't reject what he's been given. Doesn't despair or think he can escape it. He owns up to what's been thrust on him and decides only he will decide it's value. Because he says "Yes" to his impossible task and does it every day, he becomes happy." Discord said as he put a hand on his chest and smiled. "And because I say "yes" and welcome the absurdity of everything around me, because I embrace the odd, the chaotic, and the crazy...I am happy too. It's the continuous struggle that's important. And by continuing to struggle, you give your life meaning."

Twilight blinked slowly at this, lips slightly pursing as she tilted her head to the side, the purple pony going "Huh. Didn't think about it like that."

"But of course, having friends allows me to experience even more joy. A joy I didn't know was possible. And perhaps I'm a hypocrite, but having friends has become, to me, a meaning of sorts as to why Life is here. We can all bring meaning to each other's lives just by being friends with each other. One hour with Fluttershy, just the two of us together..." Discord leisurely leaned back in midair, hands behind his head as he wistfully sighed. "It means more than a hundred days worth of nonstop chaos. And we don't even need to do much. I know it might not last. I know she will no doubt grow old and die long before I perish, but..." He shrugged. "I say "yes" to what I've been given, and I feel blessed by what I have. And that little bit I have makes me happy. Being with her makes me happy. And life doesn't need to be any more complicated than that, to tell you the truth."

"Just being with...hmm." Twilight scratched her head, then turned to the Huntsman. "I THINK I know what you were getting at before, with Celestia. Are you saying she does what she does for us because she feels happy having us like her? That she views us as her friends and that's why she always tries to be there for us?"

"Close, yes. Celestia connects with all of you not by rejecting her innate skills and powers, but by embracing them. In using her knowledge and her wisdom to better the lives of others, she feels satisfied and at peace. Our truly greatest fear isn't that we're inadequate. It's that we're powerful beyond measure. It's the light, not the dark, that frightens us. The idea that we can truly do anything we want, that we're amazing, intelligent, beautiful creatures with so much potential, THAT is what terrifies us all. The idea that "If I act like this, I will stand out too much, others will become intimidated, afraid or nervous around me"."

"So Celestia instead uses that power and doesn't shy away from it. Along with her altruism, there's a sense of self-awareness and an understanding that in helping others, she helps herself. In doing what she does, she feels like one of her little ponies. She feels like she belongs when she's acting as our benevolent matriarch. Like she's part of the family, our dearest friend. Being the Princess helps her feel fulfilled." Twilight reasoned, quickly scribbling down in her notebook. "I suppose we all sort of do that. We want to belong. We want to have friends. So we try to do what we know makes others happy, and when we see they're happy, we hope they'll like us too."

"It's an innocent, sort of childlike desire. But it's understandable." The Huntsman admitted. "People just want to be loved. Even living embodiments of Chaos."

Discord looked slightly away. "Yes, well, don't go spreading that little truth bomb about. I don't want the fillies back home thinking I've got completely soft."

"SEMEN! EVERYWHERE!" Night Mare Moon's wail came out from inside the tarp.

"She might need to be brought back down to Earth with some "Fillary Brothers" films. Maybe "Shallow Hinny" or "There's Something About Marey"?"

"Why them?"

"Because she needs to watch something less stupid, but I know her brain would get whiplash if I tried to make her go cold turkey with a showing of "12 Angry Mares"." Discord said with a shrug.

"Oh, I LOVE that one!" Twilight proclaimed, clasping her hooves together, beaming broadly. "Can you do that eyeball trick and give us a showing?"

"Well...why not?" Discord said as he gave her a deep bow. "What are friends for?"

Comments

[Doomhunter]

not bad at all.

[Newenglandee]

6265187

Well, I try. (Shrugs)

[thedarkshark24]

Hedonism is like playing Russian roulette while suicidal the rush and kick it gives you are fine until the pay off happens.