5 years after Tirek was defeated, asteroids infected with a strange green crystal land all over the world. With Tiberium spreading and tensions high, the world splits down the middle as two factions fight to control or destroy Tiberium.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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still no idea why this story doesn't have more likes, I've shared it in multiple groups. anyway great chapter as usual
O.K, so, I just got done with the story so far, it's a fairly good story, some good some bad, but here's my feeling on it.
First off, the good; The quality of writing and the depiction of battle scenes is all around really good, you're "OC's"/ carry overs from the Tiberium Wars can be very interesting, such as Rose and General Ironsides. And as someone who never played Tiberium Wars, you definitely got me interested in the games and wanted to learn a bit more about them. You did a mostly good job detailing the war(you did seem to favor the Brootherhood just a tad, but that's a nitpick), and how it bounced back and forth but why the Brotherhood ultimately won in the end, I do have one or two gripes, but I'll get into that later. But the way you portrayed both the GDI and The brotherhood was excellent, both had solid reasons for their beliefs and ultimately both seemed to have reasonable good and bad sides to them and left me unsure of who to root for at times. Something like that is impressive and hard to pull off. I also felt the handling of the cannon characters was done well enough, they were a little OOC at times (particularly Celestia) but I understand the necessity for that in regards to developing the story's conflicts, and it was never so bad that it made me want to stop reading, the "peace talks" actually had me feeling tense and the reunion between the CMC was genuinely a pleasant mix of being heart warming and a bit awkward. In fact, I think you should have more character moments in these, you write them very well.
As for the bad: The battle scenes, there are too many. This may not be an issue for someone who has been following along since the start, but as someone who started reading a few days ago, they started getting wearisome around chapter ten, and it didn't help that there are a lot of characters to keep track off with no strict protagonist to follow, like I said, some were interesting, others I just didn't care too much about or feel like could have used a bit more development. In short, I feel like several battle scenes should have been replaced with a quick debriefing in another scene to explain what little plot needed to be explained. Another gripe I have is with Kane, he is too OP, I know he's supposed to be a "super-charismatic leader", but being such a significant character with how much time he got devoted to him, there really should have been a moment or two showing a flaw, mistake, or vulnerability, he came off as too "smugly perfect" to me and the universe seemed to just bend to the rule of "anything Kane says or does is right any anyone who disagrees is wrong", it actually pushed me to favoring the GDI over the Brotherhood. Also, while the military jargon is impressive, you might use it just a bit too excessively and that can be a bit off a turn off to viewers.
Either way, that's just my two cents. Despite a few flaws, the story is overall fairly solid for what it is! I hope you keep on writing and improving!