A Heightened State of Euphoria

by AlesFlamas

Heavenly Knowledge

A normal day in Ponyville. One like any other, devoid of nonsense, danger or shenanigans. Until it came. It fell from the sky, which in of itself was strange. But Pinkie Pie would have been able to write that off as the result of a pegasi's carelessness, had it not been for the next thing it did. Which was talk.

"Greetings, pretty, pink, party pony.", the lemon said to her.

"Oh, uh, hello.", Pinkie replied, not quite speechless, but dreadfully confused.

"Would you like to know a secret?", the lemon asked.

"Ohhh, yeah, I love secrets! What kind of secret is it?"

"The secret to eternal happiness, of course."

Pinkie pie's only response was to stare at the lemon in disbelief.

"Uhh, no offense," she began. "But, you're a lemon. I don't really see what you could know about eternal happiness."

"Oh, but I'm far more than just a lemon." The lemon replied. "As you can see, I can talk."

"Well, obviously, yeah."

"Which means that I can think. And believe me, as a lemon with no real mode of transportation or motor skills, I've had a lot of time to think."

"If you can't move," Pinkie began to question. "then how did you get here?"

"I achieved enlightenment, by finding true happiness. I achieved such an intense metaphysical state of euphoria that I passed out. When I woke up, I was falling from the sky. Then I landed, I met you, and now we're talking."

"Well, that's as good an explanation as I'll ever be given. So, uh, what exactly is this secret?"

"Pick me up.", the lemon said. "Put me to your ear. I'll whisper it to you."

Pinkie did as she was asked. She held the lemon to her ear, and as soon as it started to speak, she experienced something, a feeling of. . . absolute and true happiness. She hadn't even heard the words being spoken, but still she knew exactly what was being spoken. She began to cry, she was so overwhelmed with happiness.

"Do you understand, my precious little pony?", the lemon asked Pinkie.

"I-I understand. . . everything. It all makes so much sense now. I thought I was happy all this time, and I guess I was, but this. . . this is just so much more!"

"I know, right?"

"I. . . I have to tell everypony else!", Pinkie cried, beginning to run off towards Twilight's gaudy crystal castle.

"Hey, wait!". the lemon cried.

Pinkie made a u-turn, coming back to the lemon. "Yeah?", she questioned.

"Take me with you."

"Okay.", Pinkie said reaching to pick the lemon up with her mouth.

"NO! Not your mouth! That is, like, in the top five of my worst nightmares. Being eaten by a pony I mean. Just put me in your hair or something."

"Okey-dokey-lokey!", Pinkie said enthusiastically, tossing the lemon into her poofy, pillow-like mane.

"So where are we headed first?", the lemon asked.

"To my friend Twilight's house.", Pinkie replied. "If there's anypony that could use eternal happiness, it's her."

---

Pinkie enthusiastically bounced her way up to the front door of the incredibly ugly and drastically impractical crystal castle that was now Twilight's house. She proceeded to knock on said door with an unnecessary amount of force and speed.

"Heeeeeeeyyyyyy, Twiiiiiillllliiiiiggghhht!", she yelled at the top of her lungs, possibly deafening a few ponies that happened to be passing by at the moment. "I've got something really cool to tell you!"

Pinkie kept knocking and knocking, until her hoof was sore. Then she switched hooves and started knocking again. But there was no answer. She kept at it for about ten minutes before finally Spike answered the door.

"Hey Pin-" Spike said, his greeting interrupted by Pinkie's hoof slamming into his face.

"Oh, hey Spike.", Pinkie said, lowering her throbbing foreleg. "Is Twilight home?"

Spike gave no answer. This was scarcely strange though, as Pinkie, in her enthusiasm, had knocked Spike unconscious.

"I think you knocked him out.", the lemon said.

"Yeah, I do that sometimes. Oh well. I guess we can just let ourselves in."

And they did just that. Pinkie made her way through the main hall, searching for Twilight.

"Geez, not only is this place ugly," Pinkie said. "it's really hard to get around too."

And while the Twilight's crystal home was a bit labyrinthine, it didn't take Pinkie long to find her. She was panicking in her library , as she tended to do when she was on the verge of some great discovery. Whatever that discovery was though, Pinkie knew that it would pale in comparison to what she had to say.

"Hey, Twilight!", Pinkie shouted from across the room.

"Gah!", Twilight responded, surprised by Pinkie's sudden appearance. "Oh, Pinkie. Thank goodness it's just you."

"Were you expecting somepony else?"

"Well. . . yes and no. It's kind of complicated. Do you have a minute."

"I've always got a minute, silly. But right now, I'd like to spend this minute telling you something waaaaaaayyyy more important than what you had to say."

"I highly doubt that.", Twilight said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Well then, Princess Smartypants, can you tell me what exactly is more important than the secret to eternal happiness?"

At this, Twilight lit up. "Eternal happiness? Why didn't you say so? Where would you even get information like that?"

"Well, you see, earlier today I was on my way to Sugar Cube Corner, when all of a sudden this lemon fell from the sky and conked me on the head! Now, mind you, I wouldn't have thought there was anything strange about it, but-"

"Pinkie!" Twilight said impatiently. "Get to the point."

"Okay, okay, sheesh. So anyway, the lemon tells me-"

"Stop right there.", Twilight said.

"But you wanted me to get to the point, right?"

"Obviously Pinkie, there is no point to this story. I mean, really? A lemon fell from the sky and gave you the secret to eternal happiness?"

"But it did, honest! Look, it's right here, in my mane.", Pinkie said, bending over to show Twilight how wrong she was. "See?"

"All I see is a completely normal, non-verbal lemon, which you stuck in your mane for one reason or another."

"But it talks! Really it does. Go on, lemon-friend. Show her."

But the lemon remained silent. All Twilight could do was sigh in frustration.

"Look, Pinkie, I get that you like to prance around town, making jokes and playing pranks. It's who you are, it's what you do. Unfortunately, there are some ponies in this town with serious issues, that need to be handled in a serious manner with SERIOUS. SOLUTIONS."

"But-"

"No buts! Now, if you aren't here to help me some serious work, then you can help me by getting out."

"But Twilight, I-"

"GET OUT!"

Comments

[Phoenix Heart 27]

Wow....pretty good!

[NightlyGrape]

Awwww, poor Pinkie.
Obviously it's a multidimensional lemon, who can only speak when near enough to a rift. The entry point to the castle worked fine, as it was flooded with friendship energy, as did the place where he fell from the sky, but up inside the castle it failed to connect. Attempting to draw interuniversal energy from the crystal itself, it failed and reversed the polarity. This created an anti-lemon battery, and drained the fruit of all super-citrus-natural powers.

[AlesFlamas]

5753546 Uhh, y-yeah. Totally that! *cough*