• Published 9th Mar 2015
  • 796 Views, 20 Comments

Human in Equestria Department - AzelTheMantis



A secret organization which monitors human and extraterrestrial activity in Equestria recruits Rainbow Dash as their newest member.

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Phase 1: Recruiting Miss Dash

"AV-35 to Flight Control, are you there? Over"

No response

"I repeat, AV-35 to Flight Control, are you there? There's a hostile object nearby. Over"

He was starting to get desperate. The object flew closer than ever, nearly matching the speed of the machine he was piloting.

"Hostile object is blue in coloration and its speed is increasing. May be about 3 feet in length and is leaving a multi-colored trail behind. Over"

Still no response yet again. He gulped as his radar indicated the imminent impact with the unidentified flying object. His communication had been strangely cut off and he was being pursued by some "thing".

"Object is approaching and has just flown past me. It just went supersonic. Over"

The pilot blindly talked into his headset again even though he was sure he was alone. He peered through the wind-shield in front of him to take a look at the aerial object.

"Holy sh..." he mumbled as a void of light enveloped him before he was able to make out what the object was.

A few minutes earlier

"Apple Bloom, do you any idea where Scootaloo is?" a white unicorn filly asked her friend as they stood in front of a school, impatiently waiting for said pegasus.

"She must've spotted Rainbow Dash", Apple Bloom told Sweetie Belle with a bored sigh, "In that case, she's not reachin' school anytime soon", she shrugged while glancing over Sweetie Belle's shoulder to see some of the students getting inside the building. The day was beautiful and sunny and there was a possibility that Scootaloo might have decided to take the day off although it was highly unlikely.

"Wonder where she is", Sweetie Belle scratched her chin. No sooner than she said those words, Scootaloo galloped from outta nowhere, nearly smacking into the other filly.

"Whoa, watch where you're goin'", Apple Bloom scolded her pegasus friend, wincing a bit from the near-miss.

"Sorry for being a bit late, girls", Scootaloo apologized with an expression which was to say the least, a mixture of both amazement and puzzlement. If that meant anything to other Crusaders, Scootaloo had probably seen or heard something completely out of her comprehension...or she had seen Rainbow Dash pull off another "new" trick.

"Alright, what happened?" Apple Bloom inquired, indifferent about Scootaloo's imminent alibi for almost missing school.

"Okay, I know it sounds strange but you've gotta believe me", Scootaloo replied excitedly.

The reply caused Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom to merely exchange unimpressed glances with each other. Unfortunately, Scootaloo caught wind of it and her mouth quickly curled away into anything but a smile while she stared at her two friends with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" Scootaloo asked, "You two don't think I'm overreacting, do ya?" she added, shrugging a bit for emphasis.

"It's written all over your face, Scoots", Sweetie Belle sighed.

"Really? Do you have a mirror or something?" Scootaloo rubbed her face with her front hooves, searching for a smirk or a blot of ink which she might have missed, especially when she wasn't the most hygienic of the trio.

"Figuratively", Apple Bloom groaned while Sweetie Belle giggled a bit at their friend's silly reaction.

"Oh right", Scootaloo smiled nervously before she regained her composure, "Anyway, I saw the most craziest thing this morning", she said, the enthusiasm from before returning back to her.

"Go on", Apple Bloom decided it was best to let the pegasus finish telling them all she had to tell before they head over for class.

"Well, it was large and loud and...and...", Scootaloo was about to continue when she noticed a suited stallion standing a few feet behind Sweetie Belle.

"...and it was fast. Fast as hell", the stallion completed the sentence with an expressionless, piercing gaze which was thankfully covered by a pair of shades.

The pony was an intimidating specimen. A light brown earth pony with a blonde mane who looked like he could cover the trio in his shadow. On his abdomen was a satchel which caught the eye of the fillies.

"Uh...who are you, sir?" Sweetie Belle asked politely.

"And did you see the strange object too?" Scootaloo added.

"Yes, I did, kiddo", the stallion reached down and patted Scootaloo, "It was a pretty strange thing, wasn't it?" he asked back.

"The strangest I've seen", Scootaloo agreed. The next second, the stallion took out a silver cylinder from his satchel and held it in front of the three.

"What's that?" Apple Bloom asked, tilting her head to get a better look.

"Would you three mind looking at this?" the stallion simply asked before the top half of the cylinder retracted and emitted a faint flash of blue light.

After the brief flash, the stallion removed his shades and placed the cylinder back into his satchel while sporting a smirk.

"And that is why you fillies should park your go-karts behind the barrels, not in front of them. Have a nice day", he said before he left the dumb-founded and confused trio behind.

"When did we reach school?" Apple Bloom asked Sweetie Belle when she realized they were standing in front of their classroom.

"And what were we doing before?" Scootaloo added, scratching her head.

"I think we were go-karting..." Sweetie Belle said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Yeah...I guess time flies when you're enjoyin' yourself", Apple Bloom shrugged before the Cutie Mark Crusader entered the classroom.

Meanwhile

"What in Equestria?" Rainbow Dash asked herself after a large machine whizzed past her. A loud, whirring streamlined object could be seen in the distance flying at speeds that most pegasi would be envious of.

Without thinking another thought, the rainbow-maned pegasus pursued it, determined on finding out what exactly it was. The smell exuded by the object seemed to be something close to oil so it was pretty clear that it was in fact, a machine. Fortunately for her, the object maintained a constant speed so she had a chance of catching up and taking a better look.

"Don't you fly away from me", Rainbow Dash muttered as the air current pressed against her. However, that didn't deter her from fixing her eyes on the black object.

After a few seconds, it finally happened. Rainbow Dash broke the sound barrier, leaving her signature "Sonic Rainboom" behind her. A smirk came across the face of the flyer as she closed in on her target.

Slowly, she willed forward and within the blink of an eye, she darted right in front of the machine, flying a good ten meters in front of it.

"What..the hay was...that for!?", Rainbow Dash yelled as she made an effort to turn and take a look at whoever was driving the strange machine, "What...the...!", she muttered, shocked at seeing the pilot.

The creature was unlike anything she had ever seen before. It wore a camouflaged suit as well as a strange mask which hid any expression it might have shown. It was a bipedal creature of some sorts judging by the way it held two knobs, almost a splitting image of a primate of sorts.

Before she could say anything else, a bright flash of light enveloped the machine and its pilot before it disappeared out of sight.

"O-Okay...what just happened?" Rainbow Dash asked nopony in particular as she glided above a grassy field. The object she had chased had literally vanished into thin air and there was no trace of it at all.

"I'm not crazy, am I?" she said, rubbing her eyes. She felt like she had just awakened from some deep slumber or some other form of unconsciousness.

Still a bit shocked, Rainbow Dash flew back towards Ponyville, her mind filled with the images of the strange encounter. She scouted the ground below for anypony else who might have witnessed what had happened but only a light breeze answered her. Was it just a figment of her imagination? She needed to find out fast.

However, unbeknownst to the cyan pegasus, there was one pony who had seen everything that transpired.

"Glock?...I believe I've found one more candidate", a suited stallion who had a headset on him said as he watched Rainbow Dash fly away, hiding behind a tree, "I'm sending her over".

Some minutes later, inside the Golden Oak Library

"I dunno...it seemed so...so real", Rainbow Dash sat in the middle of her circle of friends. She and the others were a bit worried as she was not the kind to make up stories of this kind. Tales about inventing some new trick was one thing but pursuing an...alien machine was a new topic, especially for somepony like Rainbow Dash to bring up.

"Wait, you said you had to create a Sonic Rainboom to catch up, right?" Twilight asked, trying to hide her secret wish to have witnessed the event Rainbow Dash saw, "Then, why didn't we see it?"

"Well, I guess I might have flown a bit too far out for anypony to notice me or the object", Rainbow Dash replied after she realized she was the only pony in the area when the machine disappeared.

"So, did the pilot wear a mask like this?...or this?...oh, or even like this?", Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared with a pile of different masks which she got from who-knows-where.

"Nah, the mask was all black and military and stuff. You know, like gas masks", Rainbow Dash recalled the unforgettable image of the mask looking back at her.

"OOoooo...I love gas masks...they're so...gassy!" Pinkie squealed, a gas mask muffling her high-pitched voice a bit.

"Whatever...come on, I saw it fly past Ponyville. Am I the only one who noticed it?" Rainbow Dash asked, throwing her front hooves in the air.

"Oh, I'm starting to think Dashie has lost her mind", Rarity whispered to Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash was quick to notice it and she turned her head away from the two in annoyance. She could see that they were more concerned for her mental well-being than for what she saw.

The next second, Spike burped out a letter. Under Rainbow Dash's insistence, Twilight had sent a letter to Princess Celestia, asking them if they had seen the strange flying object.

"Finally", Rainbow Dash smirked as she grabbed the letter from Spike's claws before she began to read it.

"What does it say?" Applejack asked as all eyes in the room were on the pegasus. If there was anything to expect from Princess Celestia in the letter, it was a definitive answer.

"Like I said before, the machine I saw was..." Rainbow Dash grinned, reading past the introductory lines and getting straight to the reply, "...not real!?" she exclaimed, visibly disappointed.

"Let me see that", Twilight levitated the letter away from Rainbow Dash.

"Ohh...bummer...I really thought we could be buddies with the masked pilot", Pinkie groaned.

"Maybe I was just seeing things", Rainbow Dash sighed while the other listened to Twilight's reading of the letter.

As the pegasus dejectedly sat down, a faint knock could be heard on the front door. Twilight paused for a second before she signaled Spike to check out who was at the door.

"I'm coming", Spike said as she rushed to the door, hastily opening it as soon as his digits grabbed the knob, "Oh, who are you?" he asked when he saw the visitor, a light brown stallion with a blonde mane.

"Rainbow Dash?" the stallion asked, ignoring Spike and the others.

"Uh...yes, that's me", Rainbow Dash slowly stood up and faced the earth pony.

"I take it you saw an unidentified flying object this morning, more specifically less than half an hour ago?" the stallion inquired. Rainbow Dash's ears perked up at the question.

"Finally! Somepony who saw it too", Rainbow Dash pumped her hoof in victory. It didn't matter to her who this pony was; at least she knew that she wasn't crazy.

"Huh? The thing Rainbow Dash saw...you saw it too?" Fluttershy asked.

"Class five extra-terrestrial transport. Rare in these parts", the stallion replied before he placed a pair of shades over his crimson eyes, "Would you mind looking right here?" he said, holding out a small cylinder.

"Hey, I've never seen you before! Are you a photographer? Are you taking a picture of us?" Pinkie asked enthusiastically, pulling everypony together into a tight group hug.

"You could say that", the stallion smirked as he pressed a button on the cylinder.

An indefinite amount of time later, inside the Sugarcube Corner

"...and then he said, "Return the slaaaabbbbbbb!" and I just threw my iPhone right at him hahahaha did you get that? I thought...hehe...slab...you know, my cell phone hahaha", a light brown stallion's laughter echoed all around the store, eliciting smiles on the faces of Mr. and Mrs. Cake and a confused grin on Rainbow Dash's.

"Heh...right..." Rainbow Dash chuckled nervously, not sure what the conversation was all about.

"So, are you gonna drink your milkshake or what?" the stallion asked, staring at the milkshake between him and the pegasus.

"Uh...who are you again?" Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes.

"M", the stallion simply replied, placing some bits on the table, "You know, Miss Dash. You've got a bright future and if you want an awesome job, come to this place", he handed her a card.

"Joe's Donut Shop, Canterlot?" Rainbow Dash mumbled as she tried to make out what the hell had happened, "It's an awesome job?" she asked.

"Yup, the best", M replied with a nod before getting up and walking out of the store.

"HiED?" Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow as she noticed the initials at the bottom of the card.