Irreplaceable

by La Barata

Chapter 12 - Spark

Irreplaceable
Chapter 12 - Spark

Twilight closed her eyes as the cool water washed over her, coursing through her coat and clearing muck from her mane. She barely responded as Fluttershy delicately splashed her again, using her wings to flick the clear water of the small tributary stream. Fluttershy had half led, half carried Twilight down from the cliff, the purple unicorn seemingly awake but almost entirely unresponsive. On their way out of the swamp, they had stopped by the little stream as much for a chance to clean Twilight as for Fluttershy to take a rest. Twilight shuddered, shaking water from her mane. Opening her eyes again, she looked towards Fluttershy, not quite meeting her eyes.
“Fluttershy... I-”
“Shhhh. It’s okay, Twilight”.
“But-”
“No buts. We’re getting you cleaned up and back to Ponyville as soon as …...” Fluttershy’s voice began to fade away, falling off into the distance, as the events of the night started to sink in. Twilight’s memories, slowly returning, flooding through her mind, a swirling current of horror and realization snapping her to her senses.
I... tried to kill myself! I tried... and I failed. Just another thing I managed to screw up, another mistake in the endless line of mistakes that’s been my life. Twilight closed her eyes as she got to her feet unsteadily.
“Oh, Twilight, you shouldn’t stand up just yet, you just need to rest... Twilight?” Shifting herself, Twilight paused for a moment, looking into the rushing waters. She’d done it. She’d found Spike. She’d found him, but at the same time she’d lost him. He was... a lost cause. That’s what he was, a lot cause. She’d resigned herself to, well, to the truth. He was... he was wrong. SHE was wrong. She was wrong, not incorrect, wrong. Something was wrong with her. She was broken, a snapped axle on a cart, a shattered china cup. She was quite simply wrong. Wrong about everything she had ever done, wrong about everything she was. She closed her eyes.

I am going to do SOMETHING RIGHT! Without a second thought, Twilight plunged her head into the water and held it there, locking her teeth around a submerged root. In less then a second, there was a pull, a pair of legs wrapped around her neck. Fluttershy pulled as hard as she could, with all the strength she could muster, but she couldn’t break Twilight’s grip. Fluttershy locked her hooves together, screaming. There could’ve been words, it was entirely probable, but Twilight was entirely oblivious, all sound obliterated by the rushing waters. Twilight was well read enough to know that it was entirely impossible for her to kill herself this way, her body simply wouldn’t allow it. However, she was entirely beyond caring.
Heh, maybe I’ll get lucky. I’ve been the first to do a lot of things, maybe this’ll be one of them. Her head began to swim, coloured lights forming at the edges of her eyes.
Any minute now... It was then that something quite unexpected happened. She flew. She flew backwards, ripped from the water, and collided with a tree on the bank. Stunned, she took an involuntary breath, her body fighting for air. Her sides hurt, the impact from her disagreement with the tree outweighed by the pain in her other side, a pain that was focused, almost as if she’d been bucked, hard. Twilight stood shakily, staring at Fluttershy in an almost awed silence.
Fluttershy was angry. Panting hard, she glared at Twilight, an almost insane light in her eyes. She was wrong, she realized. Fluttershy wasn’t angry. Fluttershy was furious.
“You. Will. Not. I repeat, YOU WILL NOT DO THAT AGAIN!” Fluttershy screamed, rage etched across her features. Twilight huffed, turning away.
“It’s my life. I can do what I want, and you-” Twilight was cut off by a hoof slamming into the side of her head. She fell to the ground, coloured stars encroaching on her vision. Looking up, dazed, she saw Fluttersy standing over her. Though Twilight didn’t think it possible, she seemed even more furious than she had been.
“Don’t you dare turn your back on me.”
“Wow, Fluttershy. I didn’t know you had it in you. Then again, it’s always the shy ones that turn out crazy, isn’t it?” Twilight knew it was harsh, not just harsh, but completely unjustified, but she didn’t care. At this point, she’d given up. All she wanted was to be alone, to be left in peace so she could die properly.
“What’s the matter?” she continued. “Is that all you’ve got? I’ve known trees that hit harder than that”.
“id...”
“I beg your pardon? Speak up, I can’t quite hear you. Then again, that’s usually your M.O., isn’t it?” The words hurt. They hurt deeply. It was as if the letters themselves, sharp edges and points several times too large to fit into her throat, were forced out through her mouth. Twilight couldn't believe that she’d said that. It pained her deeply to say these things, but she simply didn’t care anymore. She was going to be left alone, no matter what it took.

“I said you’re an idiot”. The words hit Twilight harder than the punch had. I am an idiot. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as she could. She couldn’t take it. She simply couldn’t take anymore. With a cry of frustration, she began to slam her head against the riverbank, over and over again. As Fluttershy advanced to stop her, she charged her horn with energy and let loose with a burst of static that sent the yellow mare flying backwards into the water with a splash. Standing up, Twilight concentrated hard, grasping a sizable rock set into the opposite bank. With a great heave, she wrenched it free from the thick mud of the bank. Lowering her head, she whipped it towards her with all of the magical strength she could had. Stepping into its path, she closed her eyes and waited for the impact. An impact which never came. She opened her eyes to see Fluttershy, standing in front of her on wobbly legs. She’d somehow managed to move herself between Twilight and the stone missile, taking the impact she’d meant for herself. Twilight reared up with a scream of anger, seizing another rock, but stopped. Fluttershy had moved, staggered, really, across the riverbank, again placing herself between Twilight and the rock. Her legs wobbly, tears in her eyes, the furious face gone, Fluttershy spoke, swallowing hard.

“wait....Wait, please. I didn’t mean to hit you, or call you an idiot...“ Twilight raised her eyebrows. “...Okay, maybe I did. I- I don’t want to lose you. It was... I don’t even know how to say it, I was just- I’ve never really felt anything like that before. I didn’t even know how I was supposed to deal with it, I just know I did what I thought I had to”. Twilight wanted to stop, she wanted to put the rock down, embrace her friend and apologize and beg forgiveness. She wanted to go back to Ponyville and start over, but everything just seemed so... different. It seemed like it would be entirely impossible. Emotions churned, whipping through Twilight’s brain like the rapids of a river, just pure, brutal, unstoppable force, overwhelming her usual logic and making her nearly blind to almost everything except her own burning desire to atone for what she’d started by destroying herself. Twilight lifted the rock higher, adjusting the angle of her throw so that Fluttershy couldn’t stop her this time. Stepping forward, Fluttershy moved forwards to intercept, collapsing to her knees with a small cry. Twilight’s eyes narrowed in surprise, then shot wide in horror. Her right flank was bleeding, blood running down her side and dripping onto the ground. She’d hit Fluttershy. She’d just struck one of her best friends with a rock. She’d hurt her, and hurt her badly. Twilight dropped the rock and rushed to her side.
“Oh, Celestia, I’m so sorry!” Twilight’s horn glowed again as she scanned the injury with her magic to determine the extent of the damage. It was a small fracture, nothing too serious, but it had to be quite painful. Twilight concentrated hard, forcing herself past what she’d previously thought to be her limit. She’d dealt with injuries before, but nothing more serious than cuts and bruises. With a burst of coloured light, she released the built up magical pressure, forcing it into the wound. Scurrying sparks of energy spread along Fluttershy’s leg, sinking into the skin as the magic did its work, repairing the damage the rock had caused. Very soon, the only sign that there had been any injury whatsoever was the trail of quickly drying blood tracing a path through the yellow coat. The light died, Twilight’s energy spent, and she collapsed to the ground. Still conscious, she was nevertheless completely exhausted. “Is... Is that better?” Twilight asked, panting with exertion. She felt a warm body press up against her; Fluttershy had lain down next to her and wrapped her in one of her wings.
“It’s much better, Twilight. A little stiff, but just fine. Thank you”. Fluttershy sighed.

“You know, Twilight, when I first moved to Ponyville, there were a lot of rumors going around. Ponies would say nasty things about my family, and about pegasi in general. Everyone seemed to assume I was so shy because everyone had treated me horribly, or hurt me, or just been mean to me all the time, or because I’d had a terrible childhood. It wasn’t, not at all. I never really got picked on. Heh, for the most part, I was so quiet that most ponies didn’t even really know I was there. That’s probably the reason I really didn’t have any friends growing up. It wasn’t until I was enrolled in Summer Flight Camp that anyone took any notice of me. When I was younger, I was a very weak flier. I... I’m not quite sure exactly why, but when I was there, for some reason I wanted to improve, to get better, so I started practicing hard. Well, trying, anyways. That’s when that whole Sonic Rainboom thing happened, and I got my cutie mark. Actually, I think I got something more important than my cutie mark. I got a friend. I met Rainbow Dash, and we became friends. She was really the first pony (other than my family, that is) to ever really go out of their way to be nice to me. I loved my family very much, and they loved me. My mother was in charge of rainbow consistency at the weather factory, and my father worked with clouds. He sculpted tables and chairs and shelves, all sorts of things. You could call him a carpenter, I guess. Athough, he used clouds instead of wood, so I guess that makes him a cloudenter”. She giggled a little at this, and even Twilight smilled some at the terrible joke. “My parents where very nice to me,” Fluttershy continued. “They never yelled, and the only time either of them raised their voice was at cloudball games. I... actually signed up for a team, once, and nobody cheered louder. They were very supportive, and weren’t upset at all when I wanted to quit. They never tried to force me to do anything I didn’t want to, and never made me feel guilty about being shy. I really do wish I could give you some big, enlightening explanation as to why I am, but the honest truth is that it’s simply who I am. But you know what? I’m fine with that. It’s who I am, and I’m completely comfortable with it. I do need to try a bit harder to make myself heard sometimes, but it’s alright. While I can’t say that being so shy is a good thing, I will never deny that it has led to a lot of good things. If it wasn’t for me being so shy, I would never have learned to be calm and quiet, which really does help me deal with animals. It’s almost part of my special talent. I’ve learned I can get angry just like anypony, and that I’m able to stand up and be strong when I need to. What I’m trying to say is, basically, that good or bad, mistakes and triumphs, you need to be happy with who you are, and proud of what you’ve managed to accomplish. Things can’t always go to plan, and can’t always be perfect.
‘What’s important is making it through the bad times and not letting them weigh you down. That when you make it out, you can float up and bask in the wonderful moments, the times worth remembering’. That’s what my dad always used to tell me, whenever I was down on myself or upset over anything. Although he was just a simple carpenter, and most ponies wouldn’t have given him a second glance, I don’t think anypony has ever spoken words so wise.”

Her eyes damp with tears, Twilight looked at the ground, lost for words.
“Fluttershy...”. Pulling her friend in close, they sat on the bank in silence. They stayed that way, huddled together, for some time, until approaching hoofbeats jarred them from their reverie.
“Twilight! Fluttershy!” The friends looked up to see Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie approach from across the stream. “Thank Celestia y’all’re alright!”. Crossing the stream, Rarity momentarily hesitating before abandoning the well being of her pony pedi in the face of the muddy bottom.
“Oh, dears, it’s so good to see you safe! We were so worried! Oh, and just LOOK at your coat! How did you ever manage to get so filthy, and...” At this, Rarity sniffed, a wry expression of disgust spreading across her features. “Eeeeeugh! What is that stench? You smell as if you’ve been bathing in rotten... I don’t even know, just something rotten. We simply must get you cleaned up immediately.” Twilight couldn’t help but smile. Rarity was direct and to the point, as always. Getting slowly to her feet, Twilight began to stumble, only to find herself propped up by Applejack.
“Woah, steady there, Twi. You all right?”
“Erm... Yeah, just a bit tired. I’ve had a... busy night”. As the friends turned to head home, they were interrupted by Rarity’s shriek.
“Oh my STARS! Fluttershy, your leg!”. All attention was now on Fluttershy, and the now dry bloodstain adorning her flank like a second cutie mark. Twilight looked to her, and their eyes locked. This was it. Fluttershy broke the stare first, looking down at her hooves. Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth. Twilight closed her eyes.
“Oh...umm, well... You see, we were in the swamp, and then the hydra...”
“HYDRA?!”
“Yeah... And... and then Spike came, and he fought it-”
“SPIKE?! Are you sure- he WHAT?!”
“He... He fought it. It got sort of... messy. I guess I must’ve gotten splashed from one of the heads he tore off...”
*THUD*
It was all too much for poor Rarity to handle. Her eyes rolling up into her head, she swooned, falling to the ground in an unconscious heap. An incredulous Applejack shook her head.
“Well, I’ll be darned. First thing’s first, we need to get y’all home. I’m sure ya got ’cherselves a whale of a tale ta tell, but first thing’s first. Pinkie, would ya mind...”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie said brightly, lifting an unconscious Rarity onto her back. “Let’s go!”
Applejack turned.
“Alright, Twi, let’s- Twi?” Twilight didn’t respond; the night’s events had taken their toll, and the purple unicorn was fast asleep. Applejack shook her head with a smile. “Poor gal. Had quite a night, haven’t ya?” Hoisting her onto her back, the party set out for home.

It was almost a full day later that Twilight awoke. The smoky atmosphere and flickering torchlight of Zecora’s hut greeted her as she opened her eyes.
“Hey there. Look who’s awake!”. Twilight blinked sleepily.
“Hey Dash. What time is- DASH! YOU’RE AWAKE!” Twilight’s eyes shot wide, sleep entirely banished from her mind as she shot across the floor of the hut, wrapping her arms around her friend’s neck.
“Urk... Ow, easy on the neck!” Instantly, Twilight released her.
“Oh Dash, I’m so sorry! It’s all my fault and if I’d just planned things out better or taken alookbeforehandormadesurethateverythingwasinplaceortha-MMF!” Twilight’s babble stopped abruptly, cut off by a hoof pressing itself over her mouth.
“It’s okay, Twi. It wasn’t your fault, and besides, I’m fine!” Dash chuckled, lying back on her pillows. “At least, I WILL be, once I can get outta here and fly again. Being laid up like this is just soooooo boring!”.
“I tell her to sleep, she just complains and moans
And won’t take the medicine to help heal her bones!” Twilight turned in time to see Zecora, accompanied by Applejack, enter the hut. “You are my friends, and I’ll help when I can,
But Rainbow Dash stubbornness I just can not stand!” Getting to her feet, Twilight turned to face her friends.
“Oh, Zecora, I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done to help her. To help us. The zebra shrugged, smiling.
“No need to praise me like I have accomplished some great feat
All I did was give treasured friends a place sleep” Twilight paused a moment.
“How long, exactly was I out for?”
“Almost a full day, sugarcube. We figured that after all the craziness last night it’d be best ta just let’cha sleep it off. What were ya doin’ down in that swamp, anyway?”
“Oh, well, I was just, y’know...” Twilight stammered, fumbling for an answer, as Applejacks eyes narrowed in suspicion. She was saved by the arrival of Fluttershy, Pinkie and Rarity.

“Oh, Twilight! It’s SO good to see you up and about, dear!” Pinkie hopped about excitedly.
“Hee! Wow, Twilight, usually it’s only Rarity who passes out like that! You musta been really super tired, huh, Twilight?”
“You can say that again, Pinkie. Let’s just say I had an exhausting night”. Applejack crossed the floor of the hut, sitting next to Rainbow Dash.
“Speaking of which, I’m feelin’ mighty curious ‘bout it. Fluttershy here won’t say much about it, wanted you ta tell the story”.
“Oh, yes, darling! Please do! Fluttershy HAS been rather tight lipped about the whole thing, could you please shed some light on last night’s events?”. As she moved to join the other ponies, Pinkie bounced after her, sitting next to them.
“Ooh! Story time! I LOVE story time!” Twilight gulped. She hadn’t really had time to think since her time on the cliff, and wasn’t sure where to start.
“Well...uhm...hmmmm...” Twilight quailed slightly under the gaze of four pairs of eyes. “Well, after I ran- uh, left, I really just started walking. I didn’t really plan on going anywhere, all I wanted was somewhere I could be by myself. I ended up finding myself in Froggybottom Bog. I wandered a bit, and I stopped at the cliff where we escaped the hydra last time we were there. I figured it was a good enough spot, so I decided to stop there. I was pretty much just lost in thought at that point. That’s why I didn’t notice when the edge of the cliff began to crumble until it was too late.” A collective gasp arose from the assembled ponies. “I... I fell. I hit the swamp, and I sank. I honestly thought that was the end for me. Next thing I knew, I was on a rocky outcropping with Fluttershy... and Spike”. A hush fell across the hut.
“Are... Are you sure?”. Twilight closed her eyes.
“I’m positive. He was bigger, much bigger, but it was him. I- He-” tears began to form, running down the young mare’s face before dripping to the floor. “It was him, but... It wasn’t him. Not anymore. He’s not Spike anymore”. Her shoulders began to shake as silent sobs racked her body. She was absolutely certain it was him. “I opened my eyes, and h-he was there, an-and he was roaring. And then... he lo-looked at me... and just... his eyes...” Twilight cried. The weight of all those weeks of worry and fear and terror and god knows what else, combined with the trauma of the previous night had compounded on one another, and the poor filly had finally snapped. Immediately, Fluttershy was at her side. Embracing her friend, she simply held her, shushing reassuringly.
“Don’t worry, Twilight. It’s all going to be okay. Why don’t you just sit down for now, okay?”. No longer sobbing, but eyes still wet with tears, Twilight sat with her friends, surrounded on all sides by love and support. Fluttershy, however, still stood. Clearing her throat slightly, the shy pegauss spoke. “There are a lot of holes in Twilight’s story. While I’m not arguing with what she saw, there’s a bit more to it than that. I... I saw everything that happened, and I can fill in the holes”. In the hut, there was nothing but silence. All eyes were on Fluttershy, expectant and waiting. She gulped, not quite used to being the centre of attention. Straightening up, Fluttershy stood tall as she began to tell the rest of the tale.

“I was following Owlysius after I’d split off from you. I... I saw her fall. I was too far away to catch her, but I headed down as fast as I could. I wasn’t fast enough, though. I couldn’t even get close. I saw the hydra come up out of the water. It moved, flicked one of its heads. I wasn’t sure what it was doing at the time, but from what I know now... well... it... it ate her.” There was a chorus of gasps from those assembled, along with loud thud as Rarity swooned again. Immediately, however, she shot back upright, a wide eyed look of terror on her face. Immediately, she embraced Twilight, wrapping her legs around her neck.
“Oh, Twilight! You poor, poor dear! So THAT’S what that... smell was”. Twilight shrugged awkwardly, as best as she was able considering the grip Rarity had around her neck.
“It’s... It’s not like I was awake for it. I passed out after I... went under”.
“Well, Twi, I’m sure as sugar glad you’re alright now” Applejack offered, throwing a sympathetic hoof around her shoulder while simultaneously removing Rarity’s deathgrip.
“And that’s... That’s when Spike came in. I’ll... spare you some of the more... gruesome details...” At this, Rarity coughed slightly and turned what the local colts might’ve considered a rather fetching shade of red, silently cursing herself for her last fainting spell. “I was there when Twilight opened her eyes, and I won’t deny that the Spike that Twilight opened her eyes to seemed a monster, but she wasn’t in my position”. Twilight, her emotional outburst behind her, looked up. Her eyes met Fluttershy’s, just as they had the previous night, but this time the gaze was different. The shy aura that normally encompassed the yellow pegasus was instead projected by the normally robust Twilight. She was just as curious as the rest, if not more so, to find out what really happened that night.

“And... what did it look like from your position?” Not moving her eyes from Twilight’s, Fluttershy spoke again.
“It was clear to me that Spike attacked the Hydra for one reason and one reason only: to save you. ” Twilight closed her eyes, bowing her head yet again. Almost imperceptibly, she shook it, though it would have been impossible to tell whether in disagreement or despair. “I made it to the ledge where he’d pulled you out”.
“No... That’s not true. It can’t be. There was not enough left in him to care that much! I SAW him!”
“It’s the truth, Twilight. He fought it so carefully... He got hurt quite badly. He didn’t do anything that would risk hurting you. He reached down its throat to pull you out. He squeezed all the water out of you, got you breathing again. He was so gentle... The monster you saw, the rage, it was AT THE HYDRA. He was absolutely furious with it for daring to hurt you!” Twilight got to her feet, stumbling away from her friends. She shook her head viciously, as if trying to shake loose a thought.
“No, That’s... That doesn’t make any sense!”
“Twi-”
“I saw his eyes, Fluttershy. I SAW THEM. All that was there was just... pure rage! There isn’t anything left of Spike. If he saved me, its because he wanted to finish me off himself. Spike’s gone. All that’s left is just... a monster.”
“Would a rage filled monster spare an enemy?”
“...What?”
“Spike never killed the hydra. After he got you out and made sure you were okay, he was really mad. He was absolutely furious. He flew down, and he attacked the hydra. It was a totally different fight. It was just... brutal” At this, Fluttershy shuddered, still trying to repress the memory of what she’d seen. “He beat it, and beat it badly. I was convinced he was going to kill it. He had every opportunity, it was completely beaten, but he stopped. He let it walk away. He stopped the fight, and he came back to you. The fire in his eyes was back, but... it was different. I’ve taken care of a lot of hurt or sick animals over the years, and one look I’ll always know is worry. He was worried about you, Twilight. He was scared. I’m not sure what it was that made him so angry that he roared the way he did, the change came over him so suddenly, but I DO know that if you’d come to just a few seconds earlier, you would have seen a dragon deeply concerned for your wellbeing.”
“Stop it...just stop it. He’s a monster; that’s all there is to it. He’s a monster and there’s nothing that can change that. So just... stop trying to give me hope. Please...just stop...”. The friends rose, mouths opened, but they paused. What would they say? What COULD they say? Twilight, her near manic insistence given way to simple depression, sat alone in the corner, completely despondent. It was then that Pinkie Pie, who had remained silent throughout the entire tale, rose and walked over to Twilight. In an oddly composed tone for the pink party pony, she began to speak.

"I’m not sure if Fluttershy is right or wrong. There is a chance she might have made a mistake ,but frankly, I really don’t care at this point. It’s not important in the slightest. I trust her, and I believe her in such a powerful way I don’t think there are big enough words to describe it. If she says that Spike, OUR Spike, the Spike we know and love is still in there somewhere, then I believe her. I trust her instincts. Now c’mon, Twilight, you’re smart, you’re the superest smartest pony I’ve ever met, and I know you trust Fluttershy as much as I do. So use that amazing brain of yours. You can figure all this out, I KNOW it. I trust you to be able to do anything as much as I trust Fluttershy to be kind to animals, or Rarity to have a good fashion sense, or Applejack to buck apples. And that’s a lot. So get that brain of yours workin and come up with an answer that fits. Okie dokie?"

Twilight was stunned. The unusual pearl of wisdom had struck home. So what if Twilight had only seen a monster? Fluttershy had said otherwise, and she couldn’t think of a pony who’d done more to earn her trust, especially over the course of the last few days. It didn’t matter what Twilight thought she had seen, what she felt, her trust in her dear friend was all that mattered. Twilight’s analytical brain, outmatched and buried beneath layers of emotion for far to long, buzzed to life. The gears turned in her head as the purple mare pondered. She could figure this out. She WOULD figure this out. She was Twilight Sparkle, personal student of Princess Celestia.
And she was back!

TO BE CONTINUED!

Comments

[DX-1118 C]

Nunununununununununununununununununununununununununu!

[Undeadnut]

God dammit man... YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE SPIKE WRECK SHIT NOT DILLY-DALLY SMELLIN THE PANSIES!!!!