The Shy of My Life

by PonyXS

Tears and Pain (Fixed)

It was just another day in Ponyville after some years has passed since the adventures of the main six, with or without many friends and enemies, but now focus in a special one; Spike, who had grown into a rather large dragon. Today he was walking thinking of breakfast.

“I should request something... crispy... if they have it.” He arrived at his favorite restaurant and instantly entered. Sitting at a table looking out the window until his waiter arrived. Outside he saw a beautiful sky the birds were singing and the clouds were in perfect shape. In his mind he couldn't have chosen a more perfect day to tell the full truth.

When the waiter brought him back to reality he requested: “Please give me a plate of fried hay with some tomato sauce and eggs with a small flower in it. Oh and if you have any some bacon.” Without thinking it over the waiter abandoned the table to go to the kitchen.

During that time Spike began to remember the routine that he prepared to tell Rarity, how much he liked her.

“Rarity... I must tell you that you have always been and you are the most beautiful pony that I have ever known, I’m here to tell you, I was a friend to you…”'

Before beginning to eat Spike finalized that today was going to be the day not another time he would doubt himself. His hot fried hay was already in front of him with thankfully some bacon. He gave his waiter the money for his breakfast and proceded to savor and dribble over the food. In less than three minutes the plate was empty.

Having finished his breakfast the dragon's thought went back to the matter about Rarity.

“...friend to you but, I want to be more than that, Rarity, I like you, I’m a Dragon but, if you accept me, you will be able to see that I am the suitable Pony/Dragon for you” The dragons thoughts were interrupted by accidentally crashing into a particular pink party pony.

“OUCH… that hurts, uh?” The pink pony stood up quickly and started talking extremely fast to him “OH! Spike, are you ok?” The purple dragon in question began to talk as well “Yeah and you?” “Yes, I’m more fine than a new Chocolate Cake covered with vanilla with a LOT of candies on it!” “Uh, yeah Pinkie, well sorry for crashing into you Pinkie, i’m very late!” The confused pink pony, thought for a quick moment, until she discovered the intentions of her friend.

“Spike! I know where you are walking. Your going to Rarity's house to tell her the whole truth right?"

Spikes face was firm like a stone to a simple pony, this was obviously not in Pinkie's case. She could easily deduce Spikes intentions from his crush. She quickly changed her path and said to Spike “Good Luck Little boy, I'm not gonna stop you Spike and distract you, you can!” Before she could say another word, Pinkie fell off a small cliff and rolled down to meet Applejack there. “Oh, hi Applejack!” “PINKIE! What in tarnation?!...” After which Spike relived of Pinkie could return to his walk toward Rarity's House.

Finally, Spike was there, in front of the Carrousel Boutique, after remembering perfectly the words to say, buying some chocolates and a great bouquet of flowers, roses to be exact. After checking everything, he knocked the door; The Purple dragon was nervous because the tension was going to be… tremendous after he told the truth to her. Faster than he could recover from his conscience; Rarity had the door open and touched Spike in the shoulder. “Spike, darling are you Ok?” “Uh? Oh Rarity!” Then he recovered fast and gently spoke again “Rarity, I can come inside?” “Y-yes, of course” And Rarity was confused about was happening here, and started to solve the mystery of why is Spike here.'

Spike, after drinking his tea that Rarity gave to him to calm his nerves, he now, saw the chance to say his piece. He grabed the chocolates and the flowers and started to tell her all, slow and romantic as he could. “Rarity, I need to tell you something and it’s very important, so I need you to listen please” “O-ok Spike” and Rarity putting all the pieces of the puzzle together and now remembering all about the matter of his visit.'

'“Rarity… I must tell you that you have always been and you are the most beautiful pony that has known, I’m here to tell you I was a friend to you but, I want to be more than that, Rarity, I like you, I’m a Dragon but, if you accept me, you will be able to check that I am the suitable Pony/Dragon for you, so please can you go on a date with me?” Rarity, after hearing that, started to feel weird because she didn't have the same feelings Spike had for her, the perfect moment for Spike had come to an awful end.'

'“Spike… darling, please listen; don’t feel sad about this but… sorry, I’m don't feel the same way you do for me, in other words, sorry Spike but I don’t love you, can we still be friends?”

Spike’s Heart started to break into very small pieces. At that moment Spike threw the chocolates and the flowers down and ran out of that place “The Place of my failure of love” he thought while running to nowhere.

Blind from his desperation he couldn't see what was ahead and collided with a distracted yellow pegasus. When Spike recovered conscience he saw how Fluttershy was woulded through his blind run. As fast as he could recover he went to check on and assist her too.

"FLUTTERSHY! Are you ok?” “Oh… Spike?! Y-yes, I- I’m fine-AH! Your shoulder!” Instantly she was upon the wounded dragon to check his shoulder and deal with the blood coming out. “Uh-oh, don’t worry Fluttershy this is nothing to me, in fact I’m a strong Dragon as you can see-AGH!” Fluttershy was surprised to see a small rock leaving the wound, faster than anything else she took her portable kit of paramedics that she brought to heal a squirrel seconds ago.

'“Ok Spike, please be quiet and don’t move I’m going to try to remove that thing from your shoulder” “W-wait! AH!” The shard of rock moved faster until it was no longer in the wound. Fluttershy put the pincers inside the kit again and a bandage on the wound. “Now, how do you feel?” “Better I think sorry for colliding with you, I-I couldn't… see and no…” before he could say another word he saw how Fluttershy was looking at him. she paid attention to his words something that nobody had ever done for him, something strange but he didn't care and continued “... and I had no idea you were here in the first place, and the problem is... well, I told Rarity about my crush on her but... it didn't go well. I had known about the consequences to the choice but I didn't think a word could break my heart so much.”

Fluttershy start to think about the situation and she had just the idea to comfort Spike. “Spike, I’m sorry to ask that, th-that no was my intention, I-I no have idea of-” before she can babble Spike cut off the conversation, “It’s not your fault Fluttershy, it was mine for being such a fool around her. I-” “Don’t worry Spike, it's bad for you if you still going to blame yourself about that, instead, why you don't come to my house and drink some relaxing tea if you want?” “Yeah- I mean y-yes, why not?” And Spike accepted the invitation to her house musing “I think I’ll just be a fool to her, it's b-better to move on, maybe I-I need to find another pony, another who I can love happily.”

Meanwhile…

“Oh, why was I so mean to him? ...no but I need to apologize before another disaster happens”'

Author's Note:

Fixed some grammar issues with help.

Comments

[PhoKingAzn]

For some reason, i had a feeling i seen this before

[MclarenMP4-27]

561296
Maybe because I'm writing a story with the same premise.

[MclarenMP4-27]

I recommend finding a pre reader because of the many tense conflicts and grammatical errors. There are many on this site who are more than willing to help.

[Tyrannosaurus_Tux]

I also recommend serious revision. I know it may make me look like a (CITATION NEEDED), but it should be made more grammerically correct.

[Lancereiger]

This story looks like it has plenty of promise, and the setting sounds great. ...However, the grammar could use work.

I am interested in helping out with proofreading if you need. Send me a PM if you would like my assistance. I'd be happy to help.

[Lateinshowing]

Will continue to read.... as long the the grammer gets better.

[Yellowind]

Good, still I agree with the others, you REALLY should sharpen your grammar.Oh, and make sure to add more detail. I felt like Spike was walking in fog (with lag).

[217brony]

Some Grammer issues
I wish flutterspike was more common I really do like this idea, please keep going

[Path_of_cloud]

What is wrong here is your grammar and I'm not entirely sure if Spike gets shoot down by Rarity and then Fluttershy comforts him. Or if something happens before he tells her, like Fluttershy admits to have feelings for Spike but then Rarity wants to admit her feelings and it all ends in a happy 3 way (okay nothing ever seem to end in a happy 3 way no matter how much I want it to). So I'm gonna read it and hope I can understand whats going on better but your summary needs cleaned up.

[Flutterwonder]

I can't wait for the next chapter! Keep up the great work! ( except, as everyone is saying, grammar issues.)

[BlackWidower]

Two paragraphs in and already I must say: PROOF READ! The phrasing is sloppy and awkward. It's like you're not even trying.

[BlackWidower]

Okay, I've read some bad stories before, but this reads like it was written in a foreign language and translated using Babelfish!

It was, wasn't it?

[FLUTTERPIEROXS]

good writing but as many have said before you need some help with tenses and at some points gramar. If i could tell it was wrong it must have been something bad. Cant wait to see the rest though.

[OnionPony]

What in the hell is wrong with the structure of the sentences?.

[DreamyBlaze]

You said you fixed a couple of errors but there are still errors in the story... many errors. Also, where did the rock come from?