Chapter 1: Enter Equestria
Chapter 1: Enter Equestria,
[A/N]: if you ever find a joke to be improper, please send me a PM, if I get enough complains I will delete that joke or comment, thanks in advance.
Earth616- New Jersey
“Dear Princess Celestia: today I learned that I really miss my old pals, Skippy and Zero.” Said Deadpool with a bored expression visible only under his mask, as an episode of My little Pony ended. I know what will make you feel better. “Oh yeah? and what is that?” asked Deadpool to himself. Chimi-chimichangas!! Replied the second voice inside his head. With a newfound happiness he stood up, turned the TV off, and grabbed his suit and his image inducer. And just to make people uneasy he transformed into an albino Afro-American midget, with Asian face features. And strolled off to his favorite chimichanga restaurant, earning several reactions from different people.
C’mon man. Cheer up. Who needs them, when you have us? Echoed the first voice within his head. Yeah, they are gone. You only have us… and chimichangas, delicious chimichangas. Oh and hot pockets… Deadpool did his best to ignore the second voice as it wandered off saying the different types of food he liked.
“You guys again? I thought I got rid of you. Maybe I should stick an arrow to my brain, like Bullseye did to me that time, that way I could say ‘I used to be normal, but then I took an arrow to the brain’” he stopped to think on his own joke earning an answer from the second voice. Man, that joke is so old and re-used; also it wasn’t fun for any of us, especially me. “Oh yeah! You went all herp derp that time! Maybe I SHOULD do it again to see if I can get rid of you.” Deadpool laughed at the idea.
After eating his chimichangas, Deadpool decided to take his secret shortcut. He crossed through an abandoned alley, nothing spectacular, just some old trashcans, some stray cats, the delicious aroma of human wastes and decadence, and a ‘Portal to Equestria’ labeled human sized crate.
“Huh? Just what in the world?” wondered Deadpool. C’mon open it. You know you want to!
Following his conscience advice, Deadpool approached the crate, a smile on his face as he wondered at the possibilities, either it was really a portal to Equestria, or it was just a practical joke from a Brony-hater, which would give him the perfect excuse to go hunting for something to kill, he giggled at both possibilities. He turned off his image inducer, and with the help of one of his katanas he opened the crate, just to find it empty.
“Oh, someone is in for a beating….” Deadpool was interrupted by a strong impact that sent him flying towards the crate and as his body collided with the interior walls of the box, the lid was sealed again trapping him inside. A female voice victoriously announced “gotcha!”
Before our mentally disordered hero had a chance to fight back, he felt all his limbs going numb, eventually losing his conscience.
Devil May Cry universe – “Devil May Cry” Demon hunting shop and Dante’s house.
The restoration efforts had finally paid off; Dante was able to rebuild his shop by taking odd jobs with the help of Lady and got a sponsor by the name of Morrison, who was more than interested in Dante’s demon hunting abilities.
It had been a week since Dante and his partners defeated Galactus, and ever since he returned he was motivated enough to go Demon hunting all week long, ignoring his ‘resting six days of the week’ policy. But now everything was quiet, Dante had cleared all the jobs he had for the next two months, and unless Lady came with a really nasty job, Dante wouldn’t have anything to do.
Dante sat on his chair and rested his feet on the desk, grabbed a slice of ‘meat lovers’ pizza and started to drift off. From his first fight with Deadpool, to when he met Zero. From stopping Wesker, Doom and M.O.D.O.K (who had been dubbed not only by Deadpool and himself, but also by Zero as ‘Humpty Dumpty in a Rocket Chair’) to stopping Galactus, and thus ending their travels as a party.
Dante was taken back to reality as the doorbell ringed, and a young woman entered the room. She was gorgeous, even by Dante’s standards, but what caught his attention was not her body, but her weird colored hair, it had shades of magenta, pink and even gold.
“Excuse me, are you by any chance Dante?” asked the mysterious woman in a warm tone.
“Yes. How can I help you?” answered Dante not just eager to take a job, but also by the thought of scoring with such a beauty.
“I have a job offer to make you.” Answered the woman, using the same warm tone, a small smile on her face.
Dante stood up, grabbed his coat, Devil Arms and handguns. And calmly replied “Let’s go then.”
“Oh thank you!” exclaimed the kind woman. Just as they were getting through the door, she replied “Oh and please don’t make any ideas. I’m married.”
“Tch. Whatever.” Replied Dante, a little disappointed.
They traveled a small distance until they were out of sight and the woman said in an apologetic tone “I’m sorry.”
“What-” started to say Dante, but before he could say anything else he fell to the ground unconscious.
SYSTEMS REBOOTING.
ALL SYSTEMS ARE GREEN
LOW GRAVITY DETECTED
ALL WEAPONS AND ABILITIES ONLINE
NO DAMAGE TO REPORT
PRIMARY FUNCTIONS ONLINE
“Ugh! What happened?” asked Zero to himself, as his speaking protocols came back online. He was lying down on what appeared to be a meadow. According to his sensors there were no signs of high technology anywhere near, just organic beings. As he took on his surroundings, he noticed that the trees here contrary to his world, had no mechanical parts, everything was so green, so vivid… he liked it. Just behind him was a hill, with a single tree at its top, the Sun at its Zenith. Detecting no hostile life forms nearby, Zero started to wonder what had happened. “My memory banks seem to be in order. Let’s see what I can remember.”
I was assisting Axl on handling a Maverick raid, fortunately they all surrendered,making the job easier, then a giant mechaniloid appeared, and we retired it with ease. As we called Alia to get transferred back to base I saw something through the midnight sky, an unnatural glow. And then darkness.
SECONDARY SYSTEMS ONLINE
LIMB OPERATING SYSTEM RESTORED
“Ugh, finally. Now I need to figure out where I am…” Zero stopped his train of thought as his hearing sensors detected a familiar voice singing.
That voice!? Could it be? Zero got up as fast as he could, tried to locate the source of the singing, according to his sensors, it was just at the other side of the nearby hill.
Zero started running towards the top of the hill, his processor filled with thoughts like. Please let it be her. Please.
As Zero was reaching the top of the hill he shouted ‘from the top of his lungs’ “IRIS!!” All sounds stopped as did the song. Zero’s pupils shrunk as he fell to his knees, putting a shaking palm softly on his face he said to himself. “You idiot, she’s dead. You killed her, don’t you remember?” Then as the self rage consumed him, he let out a loud scream. “IF ONLY I HAD BEEN STRONGER, IF I HAD BEEN ABLE TO CONVINCE HER. IRIS!!!” If reploids other than Megaman X were able to cry, Zero would be crying at that same moment. He was so lost in himself that he didn’t hear the soft rustling of a nearby bush, and a yellow equine figure slowly walking towards him.
Zero was still cursing himself, then, he felt something furry hug him, and the same voice that he had heard before soothed him. “There, there. Don’t cry everything will be ok.”
Zero lifted his face to meet eye to eye with the equine and softly asked “Iris? Is that you?”
The equine softly answered “my name isn’t Iris, I’m Fluttershy. What’s your name?”
Still shaking a little from his outburst Zero answered. “My name is Zero. Sorry it’s just your voice sounds so much like an old friend of mine.” Zero then realized that he was talking to a butter colored winged pony. “Wait. A talking pony? Just where in the world am I?”
“Um. Well this is Equestria.” Answered Fluttershy meekly “Where are you from Zero? You certainly don’t look from around here.”
How can I explain her? I don’t even know what is happening? This seems so much like the time I fought alongside Deadpool and Dante.
Zero finally decided to stand up. Fluttershy looked at Zero waiting for an answer. And as Zero gave his back on her he answered. “I’m from another world,” that gained some interest from the meek pony. “I have no intentions on harming your kind, but, I don’t know why I am here. Do you think there is someone I could talk that would know anything about it?”
Fluttershy pondered for a while, and then answered. “Well there is Twilight, she’s the smartest unicorn I know, and she must be able to help you.” A unicorn?! Just where the hell am I?
Zero decided just to nod, and followed Fluttershy towards Twilight’s library.
Deadpool woke up to find nothing but darkness. “Ouch, am I still in the crate?” well duh, where else would you be? I was thinking maybe on Equestria. “Silly voices, now to get out of here and crack the spine of whoever did this to me… wait a second.” What is it? Do you have the feeling you are in a comic again? Or a videogame? “More like in a book, or more specifically a bad written story.” Now that you mention it…. I don’t like it, it makes me uneasy. It’s like we could die or disappear at the whim of the writer. “Hey! That gives me an idea! Hey Writer… Writer can you get rid of this little persons inside my brain? No? Screw you then Writer!”Like if you were getting away from us that easily. “It was worth the try was it not?”
Deadpool struggled to move in such a small space but found it quite difficult, the crate was made of solid wood, with almost just enough room for him to stand up, and there were no visible cracks. Struggling as hard as he could he started to shake the crate, maybe it would loosen up if he tumbled it to the ground. He succeeded in making it fall, but nothing happened. He perked up at the sounds of hoof steps coming closer. Hoof steps? Maybe THIS is Equestria! Exclaimed one of the consciousnesses with joy.
“Hello? Is anypony here?”Asked an all too familiar bubbly voice.
“Is she…?” whispered Deadpool to himself. Is she…? Asked one his consciousness at the same time. Yes she is!
Deadpool pressed as hard as he could to the sides of the crate, and grunted as he struggled to get free. The bubbly equine getting nearer as she was lured by all the grunting noises that came from the box.
Feeling the nails loosen up, Deadpool called to all his strength and as he broke out of the box, he yelled in an almost demented tone “Surprise!!!”
The bubbly pony fell to the ground, and looked in a bewildered state at the man that was in front of her, she then brought a hoof to her mouth to try to suppress the urge to laugh as she snickered, but she soon broke controlover her body as she hiccuped and bursted out laughing, and rolling on the ground.
That went as expected. Did it not? Well, duh. We have been preparing for this scenario for like ever.
Deadpool looked to his surroundings, he was in a dark room, some pipes adorned the walls, the place was filled with barrels, and sacks. Those were filled with all kind of confectionary ingredients like flour, sugar, sprinkles, and lots and lots of other stuff Deadpool wouldn’t care enough to check through.
He started laughing alongside the pink bubbly pony. The pink pony recovered her composure to greet our already known friend. “Hi my name is Pinkie Pie” she stopped to take a look at her ‘guest’.
“I’m Deadpool, nice too meet you…” Deadpool stopped as he felt his stomach grumble.
“Ooohhh you must be really hungry *snort*” said Pinkie in between giggles. “Follow me; I’ll get you something to eat.”
Deadpool nodded eagerly, and followed the bouncing Pinkie as he walked like he was the Little Red Riding Hood. “Best day ever!” said Deadpool to himself.
Pinkie then stopped dead on her tracks, almost causing the mercenary to trip over her. And with some shining in her eyes she exclaimed “ohmygosh! After we get you something to eat, you have to meet my friends, they are the bestest of the best, and then we can make you a party, and play games, and…” as Pinkie wandered off with her ideas Deadpool started to get nostalgic, being with someone as random as himself, brought back memories of the time he had founded the Deadpool corps. Those were good times…. Wait a sec? Do I have control of my mind again? Hey voices, where are you? Yes! Thank you writer!!!.
After the both of them ate almost half the stock of Sugar Cube Corner’s confectionary, they both agreed to go and meet Twilight in her library.
“Ugh, that’s why I hate blind dating, every date they pick for me has to be either really ugly, or be a total nut job.” groaned Dante, as he started regaining his senses “just where the hell am I? An Apple orchard?” Dante stood up, and tried to find where he was, but to no avail. All that he could see were apple trees.
“Tch, last time I date a married woman” told Dante to himself, as he searched for his weaponry, luckily nothing had been stolen.
“What are you? And what are you doing in ma’ orchard?” Dante perked up to the sound of the deep voice and turned around to see a red pony with an orange short mane.
“Wait a minute did you just talk?” Dante started laughing; he thought he had totally lost it, a talking horse. He couldn’t even react as he felt the rear legs of the Stallion buck him hard on the ribs, sending him flying, and crushed through three rows of apple trees breaking them apart.
Dante got up as the stallion got closer. “Ya’all sure are strong to be standing after an impact like that so ah’ll ask again. What are you? And what are you doing on my orchard?”
“I’ve really must have lost my mind, but this is no illusion, the buck and the trees felt so real.” Dante cleared some Blood that dripped from his mouth. “Still, a little horse that talks, and has so much strength seems taken out of a cartoon. Hey reddie, Bring it on.” Dante lifted up his hands and threw a few jabs to the air to provoke the stallion in front of him. The red stallion flared at Dante, and charged towards him, Dante started charging as he yelled “yeeeehaw!”
“HALT!!!” a loud voice stopped both Dante and the red stallion, Dante turned to look for the source of the voice and saw an orange mare wearing a Stetson hat. She had long blonde hair, green eyes, and a few freckles on her face. Another talking hillbilly horse? Gimme a break. “Big Mac. How many times do ah have ta tell ya? Do not break down the apple trees,” the orange mare fixed her gaze on Dante “and you, leave now, or I’ll buck you till there’s no tomorrow.”
Dante smirked at the orange pony. “You’re feisty I like that,” Dante then pointed towards Big Mac “who is he? your boyfriend?”
“He’s my brother, for Pete’s sake” answered the orange mare.
“So, is that a yes?” teased Dante.
“I swear in Celestia’s name, one more and I’ll kick you personally out of Equestria.”
Dante blinked, a quizzed look appeared on his face. “Equestria? Just where the hell am I?”
“Huh? Ya’ mean to tell me yer not from around these parts?” asked the orange mare raising an eyebrow. “Do you even remember how ya got here?”
Dante held a hand under his chin. “All I remember was being hired by a gorgeous lady, and when I wasn’t looking she did something to me.” He seemed displeased at the thought of being defeated so easily.
“So yer what? A bodyguard?” guessed the orange pony.
Dante smirked at the thought. “Not even close,” Dante then took out his dual guns and started to play with them as he introduced himself "my name is Dante son of Sparda, and I’m a Demon hunter!” As he said the last part, he stopped fumbling with his guns, and pointed them right towards the cowpony, left handed gun on the right side, and right handed gun on his left.
This Dante fella may be crazier than Pinkie Pie, and more dangerous too. It will be better if I play along, get on his good side and all. “Well, nice to meet ya Dante. Ah’m Applejack.” AJ extended her right hoof towards Dante, offering a smile. Dante sheathed his guns, and shook his hand with Applejack’s hoof. “Ah have a friend that could help you understand better where you are, she lives in the Library at the town. She’s very knowledgeable, and a good friend.”
Big Mac came closer to her sister and whispered to her ear. “Do ya really think this a good idea? That Dante fella seems awfully dangerous.”
“Don’t worry big bro; I’m sure Twilight will know what to do. Until then we have to play along.”
Dante was tapping the ground impatiently with his foot, arms crossed. “Are we going or not?” AJ turned and gave him a nod, and both started to walk towards Ponyville.
"What's the progress with our trapped 'friends'?" Asked the queen of the changelings.
"We are doing great your majesty," explained a drone as he bowed. "we have already broken the enchantments."
"Good work drone. Keep me posted. Now leave" the drone gave one last bow, and left.
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all hell is about to break loose.
litterally. and i didnt have anything to do with it this time.
unless you count killing the capcom bosses in thier respective games.
615430 I'm not so sure about using bosses from the games, since Deadpool doesn't has any kind of boss, he could fight against. I'm mostly thinking about making them fight mythological beasts, until they reach Ajax, Vergil, and Sigma.
I am reading because I love to see how others write deadpool
So far so good bro
If you need any help with lol I dont know
Let me know
Always here to help another Deadpool Writer
623565 Thanks man, if you want I can make you a pre reader lol, I'm up for some more people to help me realize my mistakes.
624076
OH god
I need a editor for myself
heh
sorry man.
I can just pre read and let you know if you are doing a good Deadpool
(Deadpool is kinda my gift)
Heh.. Other then that
Doing good on the story bro.
624332 that's okay, any help is welcome, I'm pretty confident about how to make Zero (I've been a Zero fan since I was like 4 years old), and not so bad bout Deadpool, still I would appreciate any help. Dante isn't so hard to do lol, at least for me. he's brash and energic.
so yeah, I'll send you a link so you can help me with Deadpool.