Pinkie Pie slammed her bedroom door as tears streamed down her face. Another day had come and gone, filled with teasing and torcher. Things used to be better, but times change. Lately she had been teased for her positive personality more than anything. It had ruined her. She looked down at the small lockbox on her desk. Safely contained inside was every letter, note, or other peice of paper that had hurtful meaning directed at her. Ponies had been calling her names, such as freak, idiot, and bitch. She couldn't take it any longer. Tears fell more rapidly as she looked over the dozens of letters regarding only hatred. Halfway through she knew she couldn't read anymore of these. She simply put them back in the box nice and neat, then pulled out a sheet of paper of her own. She took a pencil in her mouth and began to write. Her letter told everything she needed to say. She folded it neatly and put it in an envolope. She placed that envolope on the small box. Without another word she pulled a length of rope from under her bed and began to tie a noose around her neck. Quietly she hung herself from the rafters in the ceiling.
The following morning Twilight Sparkle knocked on the door lightly. With no response she opened it. To her horror Pinkie Pie was hanging from a rope. Blood dripped from her chin where it leaked from her nose and mouth. Twilight's eyes went wide in fear as she quickly untied the knot with her magic and rushed to the side of the pink ponies corpse.
"Oh Pinkie, if you were in so much pain why didn't you come to us?" She whispered as she sobbed quietly. After she had gotten a grasp on reality she stood again, now with tears falling from her cheeks. She noticed on Pinkie Pie's desk sat a small box with an envolope on it. She opened the envolope to read the note inside.
'To anypony who still cares. Lately I have been struggling with my own conflicting thoughts. Everyday I deal with more abuse, and I just can't take it anymore. Enclosed in this box is every letter, note, and picture that I have recived with nothing but hateful words contained. I couldn't even come to my very best friends because I was afraid. So this is it, my grand fanaly. I hope I don't make to much of a mess doing so. Goodbye, Pinkie Pie'
Twilight only shook her head slowly, with a pained expression on her face. She already had it implanted in her mind what would happen next.
Errors.
Spelling mistakes.
Bad use of spacing.
Rushed plot.
Cardboard cutout emotion.
Rushed, jummbled and just plain bad pacing.
Execution was off by let's just say alot.
And Character development is-well not here for one.
Sorry if I'm coming off as a Bad Pony or something but this one shot was just really rushed and out of place- A little detail and character development can go a long way in anything.
I'll read the other two and continue my review from there.
Its_Rainbow_Dash has a point.
5660669
This story is full of spelling, grammar, pacing, etc mistakes. I would have enjoyed this story much more if it wasn't so rushed. You could have easily turned this into a much longer story from the information in this one chapter. Her death was much to rushed, along with the explanation why she hung herself, and Twilight's reaction. I do, however like the idea behind the story. But if you ever need an editor for some other stories, I'd be glad to help.