Twilight surveyed the twenty ponies in front of her. They were tall and fearless, arranged in perfect formation as they awaited her words. She rolled her shoulders, feeling the hairless skin stretch. She was still stiff from her injuries and subsequent healing, but she had only done what she felt was needed in the situation. As soon as her healing was as close to complete as herself and Luna could achieve, she had assembled the Black Berets. They were her best hope if Axion was to be found and stopped before she could use the Amaranth to cause chaos, not that she had already done that. The morning after her appearance in Canterlot, it seemed every newspaper had somehow gotten the news, and had printed a special edition about Axion. Some ponies were worried, some were practically catatonic, and others thought the whole thing was a joke. There had been some civil unrest, but nothing too serious.
Twilight sighed as she thought about this, and gathered her thoughts, trying to decide what to say to the Black Berets. She knew that they were the ones to rescue her from the lab after Axion's assault, but they only knew the bare details of the encounter. Twilight thought that they needed the whole truth if they were to succeed, loath as she was to tell anypony the full story.
"Black Berets. I have awakened you in the middle of the night for one reason: To tell you the full expense of the threat. I'm sure you all know about Axion, her attack on me, and the debacle in Canterlot a few nights ago. Well, I'm here to tell you that she is completely serious in her threat, and very capable of making it happen. She possess a stone, called the Amaranth, that contains power rarely rivaled. With it, she might be as powerful as Princess Luna herself. Your mission is no longer to assist in the Diamond Dog and griffon war, instead you are being sent on another mission. Your task is simple, though not easy. We must find Axion, wherever she has hidden, and retrieve the Amaranth, preferably without killing her. You are the best of the best. I will maintain my position as squad commander, but I will leave most field operations to Wildfire. Any questions?"
None were forthcoming, although Twilight thought she saw a few warriors shuffle a tiny bit in place.
"Good. Dismissed."
The ranks of warriors released a mass sigh of relief as they relaxed. Wildfire walked up to Twilight, looming over her in a way Twilight still hadn't got used to. Looking up at him, she smiled her most reassuring smile, for the field commander was clearly troubled.
"Hello, Wildfire. What is on your mind?"
"Well, it's just the fact that we're going to hunt a crazy, possibly downright evil unicorn, with supposedly the power of the Princesses themselves. Even as good as we are, and in mass, I don't know if we could ever come close to that kind of power. I'm just worried that we may be on a suicide mission here."
"I have the utmost faith in you and your team, Wildfire. If any ponies in Equestria can find Axion, it's the Black Berets. As for capturing her, myself and Luna will go along, and hopefully we will have the upper hoof. She's powerful, yes, but not invincible."
"Thanks, Commander. But if you're coming too, shouldn't you learn some more battle magic? No offence, but you said yourself you're not much of a fighter."
"Very true. That is why while you are searching for Axion, Luna will be teaching me how to fight."
"Wow. Personal lessons from the Princess. Even we aren't that lucky."
Wildfire winked at Twilight before walking back to a group of worried looking Black Berets. Although she couldn't hear them, when relief washed over their faces as Wildfire spoke to them, she could guess what he was telling them.
"Pardon me, Commander?"
Twilight turned to see Winter Mist behind her, a signature homemade cigarette between her lips.
"Oh, hello, Winter. Please, just Twilight. What is it?"
"Well, I'm just a little curious. If Axion has a stone that gives her unbelievable power, where did she get it? You'd think we would have heard of an artifact like that, somewhere in old stories, like Nightmare Moon used to be."
"Well, the thing is, the Amaranth didn't exist until very recently. Axion created it."
"She.... Created it? But..... Where would she have gotten the power to create it? She would need that much power to create it, and if she already had power like that, she wouldn't have had to make the stone in the first place."
"She had help."
"Ah."
Winter seemed even more curious about Twilight's minimalist answer, but didn't ask any more questions. Twilight was hoping she would never have to reveal that it was her that had assisted Axion, especially with Luna's assistance via the Moon Stone. Twilight closed her eyes for a minute, wishing she could go to bed and have a long night's sleep. She hadn't slept much in the past few days, and it was starting to wear on her. However, she couldn't go to bed just yet, as she still had one more thing to do. Celestia had requested Twilight to come see her, although the way the letter had been worded it was more of a demand than a request. Twilight was extremely nervous about this, as it would be the first time she had seen her former mentor since she had been caught stealing the Moon Stone.
Well, I guess she does have a right to know why I was doing it on the first place.
Twilight told the assembled Black Berets farewell, and left the room. She stood in the deserted corridor for a moment, wracked with indecision and nervous feelings. However, times like this rarely remembered the faint of heart, so Twilight calmed her fears and began to trot, her hooves clicking daintily on the stone floor. Navigating the labyrinth that was the lower levels of the Old Palace, Twilight eventually found her way to Celestia's meeting room, which to her surprise was open, with flickering light coming from within. Looking through the door, she saw the Solar Princess sitting on a large pillow in front of a fire, gazing into the depths like there were answers hidden deep inside the dancing conflagration.
"Um, Princess?"
At her voice Celestia broke her meditative trance, and looked at Twilight. Her gaze was intense, but there was a hint of a smile, bolstering Twilight's spirits a little.
"Come in, Twilight. I've been waiting for you."
Twilight did as she was bid, sitting on a pillow opposite Celestia. The Princess looked at her, and Twilight tried to decide what was going on behind those eyes. Getting nothing, she gave up, waiting on the Princess to speak first.
"Undoubtedly you are curious as to why I wanted to see you."
"I was sure you had reasons."
"Yes. To put it simply, I have heard of Axion from my sister mentioning you were doing research, but now I need to know everything."
"Fair enough."
Twilight began her narrative. She wasn't quite as open about her feelings or thoughts as when she had told Luna her tale, but she didn't leave out anything important either. The entire time, she watched Celestia closely for any signs of a reaction, but none were forthcoming. The Princess was stubbornly blank, like a sheet of fresh parchment, staring into the fire without expression for the whole story. When Twilight finished, there were a few minutes of complete silence, broken only by the faint popping and crackling of the fire. Abruptly, Celestia stood and walked over to a small shelf along one wall.
"Would you like some tea, Twilight?"
"No, thank you."
Celestia quietly prepared a single cup of tea and brought it back to her seat on the pillow. She took a single sip, elegant and graceful in a way Twilight could only envy, and set the cup down. Twilight couldn't stand the silence any more; she had to know what Celestia was thinking.
"What are your thoughts, Princess?"
"My thoughts? There are many. The first and foremost is how to handle this situation. You worked with Axion for a year, yet you were betrayed suddenly and without any apparent warning. Now a mysterious and rogue unicorn with ridiculous amounts of power is threatening Equestria. Yes, there are many thoughts."
"What about... Me? I thought you would have been disappointed in me for not doing more to stop it, or maybe asking more about how she planned on using the Amaranth, or-"
"My thoughts on that particular matter are moot for the present. We have larger problems, Twilight."
"Yes, I suppose. What are we going to do?"
"You are going to gather everything you know about the Amaranth. I am going to focus on strengthening defenses around Canterlot."
"What about finding Axion? I have a squad of the Black Berets at my disposal, twenty of the very best. Surely prevention is the best defense at the moment. The Amaranth is extraordinarily powerful, as you yourself can attest. I wouldn't think you would want her ever getting close to Canterlot."
"The Black Berets? Maybe they can be useful."
Celestia seemed like she was about to say something off, but she trailed off into silence once more. Twilight was content to sit in silence for another minute, mind running, until a yawn interrupted her postulations.
"Twilight, you're tired. Go to bed. There is a meeting scheduled in the apothecary in the morning. I would like you to come, as well as the sergeant of your Black Beret squad."
"Yes, Princess. We will be there."
"Good. Dismissed."
Twilight stood and left the room without further comment, the door softly clicking into place behind her as she stepped out into the torch-lit hallway. She released a sigh that had remained deep in her chest and turned to walk away. Twilight had barely made it a few steps when a shadow in front of her writhed in its place, most unlike a shadow should. Twilight took a few steps back as the shadow rose from the floor and took on a three dimensional shape, merely a blob at first, but soon it began to sprout what seemed to be legs, and a trunk that might have been a neck. The neck began to grow a head, and the legs grew hooves and touched soundlessly on the floor. Within seconds, it had become the shape of a pony, the flat black of shadows, but rippling like water under a gentle wind. A mane and tail began to grow out of their places, light gray, almost silver, and waving in some unfelt wind. Light slits began to cross the face, becoming eyes, and holes began to appear for nostrils. Suddenly the eyes opened, pure white, and very bright. Twilight stumbled backwards, but felt her flank collide with something solid. Turning, she saw that a mesh made out of interconnecting threads of light behind her, which quickly spread to surround both herself and the shadow-pony. Facing the apparition again, Twilight found that its facial features had fully formed. The nostrils were two smaller circles of the same white light as the eyes, and the mouth was a slit of white, cocked to one side on an arrogant smirk. The eyes were slightly dimmer than before, but now two black irises had formed, with no perceptible pupils. A faint white fog seeped from the nose, coming in bursts like breath on a cold day. The mouth opened, and more fog rolled out, ebbing in the breath of the strange creature, whose voice Twilight immediately recognized.
"Hello Twilight."
"Axion! I knew you had to be behind whatever this is."
"But of course. I had the desire to speak to you once more."
"Speak your piece and be gone. I want nothing more to do with your or your shallow illusions."
"Such a shame. We would have made a most formidable team."
"What do you want? I've already told you that I will never join you."
"For now. No, my reason for being here, at least like this, is completely different. I had no plans of speaking to you. I was simply here to see someone else, and happened to come upon you here. I decided I would take this fate-given chance to deliver a message, and for you, a warning."
"What is the message, and the warning?"
"They are the same. As I said in my speech in the courtroom, I will return in six months' time. I still have hope for you, Twilight, and so I shall have enough mercy to give you the exact day I will return to take my rightful place. I do this in hope that you will run, Twilight, run far away, and have no part in the inevitable and inadvisable violence that will follow my resurgence. Remember the date of October first, my dear, and for your sake, be far away."
"And why should I take this warning seriously? What do you care for me? You used me to create the Amaranth! You care for none but yourself! Why should you care what happens to me now?"
"Like I said, I still have hope that you will see sense. Ponies like you, with both the power and intelligence to rule the land well, are rare. If you are harmed in the pitiful hostilities, I will truly be saddened."
"You care of nothing but yourself and your power! Be gone!"
The shadow representation of Axion laughed low and soft, and as it did it began to disintegrate. The mane and tail began to simply fade, as did the light wall around them. Once they were gone, the body began to wriggle and sink, like hot wax left in the sun, slowly sliding back to the darkness in between torches. The moment that the last of the shadows returned to their places, Twilight cast a communication spell, aimed at Luna. Contact came almost immediately, and Luna picked up on Twilight's fears nearly as fast.
Twilight? What's wrong?
Axion! She's up to something in the palace. I just spoke to her.
She's in the castle!?
No! It was some kind of shadow illusion. It sounded and looked a bit like her, but was made of shadows. She warned me that she would return on October first, and she wanted me to be far away. She claimed to care about my safety.
Interesting. I know about these shadow puppets, and their use. Please, come to my quarters where we can speak in private.
Twilight felt Luna cut the magic flow to her connection, and did the same. She left the hallway at a brisk trot, heading to the staircase to take her up to the Night Princess's living area. The door opened in response to her soft knock, granting Twilight access to a brightly lit sitting room. Blinking at the extra light given off by the dozen or so candles in the windowless room, Twilight entered.
"Why are there so many candles in here?"
Luna turned from the papers she had been studying at her desk.
"Shadow puppets need shadows to form. Fewer shadows mean less for the shadow puppets to form from."
"So they'll just be smaller?"
"Not exactly. Shadow puppets are created by projecting a mental image of the physical self upon shadows through magic. The shadows then take on the form that the caster sees themselves as, kind of like a mirror. The puppet will by physically identical to the caster, but made of black and grey shadows. The shadow must be of the size and proportion of the caster, and so needs plenty of shadows and magic, as the only ones capable of the spell are fully grown unicorns. In most ponies, the shadow puppet will be fully identical as themselves. However, in certain ponies with mental insecurities, it can become warped. If a pony sees themselves as weak, or small, the shadow puppet will be such. Any mental insecurity will be emulated in the shadow puppet, as they are a projection of ones own mind, and are completely incontrovertible. Did Axion's shadow puppet happen to display any irregularities?"
"No, it looked pretty much just like her. If these puppets are made of shadow, can they touch you? Can they use magic?"
"No, to either of those. They are solely shadows, simply bewitched to move and speak at the command of their captor."
"You speak as if they were alive."
"The shadows and the dark are my progenitors, Twilight, just as the light is for Celestia. I oft speak of them as my own, for they are what truly comforts me."
Luna looked into a candle's flame with an empty expression, until Twilight walked over to her and lay her head against Luna's neck, prompting the Princess to lean down and kiss her lover on the tip of her horn, eliciting a giggle from Twilight.
"As well as yourself, Twilight."
Luna led the way over to the bed and gently pushed Twilight onto and pulled blankets and pillows around her.
"You are still weak from the healing done to your back. Please, rest. Nothing shall disturb you until it is time for the meeting in the morning."
Twilight held her forelegs straight out towards Luna, silently pleading for a goodnight kiss, which Luna was pleased to oblige. Afterwards, Twilight fell asleep, still holding Luna's hoof in her own. The moon rose to its apogee and sank, bowing out of the dark dance of the stars, yet beneath it Luna sat on the edge of the bed, fulfilling her promise to watch over Twilight. She didn't think Axion would dare appear, but one could never be too sure.
Sometime after midnight and before dawn, Luna's ears flicked at a noise, coming from the far corner, one that had somehow remained in shadows. Standing, Luna summoned a glow from the Moon Stone around her neck and thrust it into the corner. The shadows writhed and thrashed, more like tumult water than darkness, but within seconds had evaporated and allowed the corner to be revealed, empty. Summoning another candle, Luna set it in the corner and lit it, preventing a recurrence. She walked back to the bed and sat, taking Twilight's hoof in hers again. Teal eyes darted about the room, searching for any little crevice of darkness that could be potentially wielded. When none were found, the eyes wandered back to Twilight, but the mind was still on Axion.
Show your face here, wretched creature, I dare you. Here, in my bastion, in the hours of my might, I will crush you.
awesome chapter! shit is gonna start hitting the fan soon.
i still don't get it, these shadows aren't dangerous, so why "protect" twilight from them?
1527663 It was more of a formality, but the idea is it's ANY shadows that can be manipulated.
1528020
ah
Luna the Badass....interesting. Axion better watch out
1530903 Yeah I love Luna way too much not to make her a bit of a badass. :]
1531275 it'll be good to see pissed off Luna without seeing NMM like in other stories
1531439 heeheehee my thoughts exactly.
You are all going to think me weird, but I rather like Axion. It's nice to see a villain like her, and when she falls I will shed a tear.
1531821 I'm glad you like her. :] I've put a lot of works into making her actually likable, in a kind of sadistic way. I especially don't want her falling into any of the preordained cliches of villains, namely being obnoxious, or having some kind of giant obvious weakness.
1531839 You have no idea how giddy I was when she used my quote, not to mention the idea of her popping royal guards like so many meat balloons made me giggle
Give back twilight her wings and I will the happiest pony ever.
1532413 Meat balloons, that sounds positively delightful.
1544471 oh indeed it does
MOAR
1554372 is coming, worry not!
Overall, you've done a fairly decent job at spinning us a tale here. Only things that I have to knock on are that it seems that some plot devices were introduced and then time skips used to alleviate what could/should have been some major events, the ones that come to mind are Twilight magically sprouting wings and the taking of the Moon Stone. Both events should have some rather large fallout, especially when Twilight was caught by Celestia with the Moon Stone, yet not a word was uttered. I know that those events would have no ultimate bearing on the course of your story, but it felt slightly cheap for you to pass them up like you did.
As far as the villain Axion, it sounds like she is the mage from over 1,000 years ago that caused some trouble for Luna prior to Nightmare Moon's appearance, looking at Luna's initial reaction to the first meeting with her and then when they were going through the Unicorn census with the Griffin officer. So far you've done a fairly great job of painting this OC villain, I kind of guessed that Axiom was going to be the villain once you introduced the method of the Diamond Dog attacks. As for her attack on Twilight, it shows Axiom to be a sociopath, as she nearly killed Twilight after cutting off her wings and such, yet she returns through her shadow puppet to deliver a warning to attempt to get Twilight to not be there when she attempts her violent takeover. Also, just curious here, but Twi is basically back to being a Unicorn again, correct? Kind of curious as to how her physiology as changed, as when her wings grew the bone structure and stuff would have changed to allow for flight. Random musings going on in my head in that regard.
Overall a good story, and I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
1561218 YOU ROCK. In depth reviews like the ones you just gave make my day. I will try to respond to each point, but I may fail.
TIME SKIPS: Yeah, I kind of abuse them, and some of them could probably be done better. The main reason I use them in the first place is that I'll try to write whichever scene (Twi & Luna's first kiss, Moon Stone fallout, etc) but then I'll feel that I can't quite do the scene as good as it deserves, and so I'll simply let the reader use their imagination.
CELESTIA: I actually have a plan for her, and a good reason she didn't say anything to Twilight. It's still a few chapters off, however.
The bit where Twilight was caught with he Moon Stone was a bit awkward, however, look at it this way: Luna sent Twilight off as soon as she returned the Moon Stone, and presumably went to confront Celestia herself. We have no idea what might have been said.
AXION: Yes, I've put a lot of care into characterizing Axion, maybe even more than Twilight or Luna.
As for Twilight, she was never really much more than a unicorn with wings. In my headcanon, pegasi have a lot of ingrained magic to help them fly, it's not completely or even mostly physical. So when Twilight got wings, but the majority of the big fancy spell was to give her the use of the pegasi magic, which is used subconsciously.
Thank you again for the in depth reviews! I guess I'll have to step up my game now that you're on my case.
1562178
Lol, no problem at all. I figure if I can take the time to read through what someone has spent countless hours writing, I can at least take five to fifteen minutes to write up a review and maybe offer up some constructive criticism. Plus I enjoy speculation.
As for the Time Skips, good to know that you are aware of them, but please remember that you should try to avoid having major instances occur during said time skips. With the ones you used, I got the hints and such that you were dropping or the holes you were filling, but it deadens the impact of certain situations, although at the same time it does cut down on what one might consider to be "filler" material not 100% relevant to the story. I'll simply use Twilight's wings as the example here. I went "wtf, she has wings now? Holy crap Batman!" (maybe a pinch of exaggeration). Now, you almost immediately fast forward after that event. Where you could have focused on the impact and implications of her being able to fly now (not quite 100% relevant to the story in my mind from what you've posted), it was relegated to a very minor thing that simply came up in conversations as a side note. Thus, deadening the impact of it. Of course, fairly certain you are aware of this. I can understand why a scene you might try to write out might not meet your standards or be hard to get together, but yeah. Still, since you kept the story flowing, it didn't quite cause as much commotion as it could have.
As far as Celestia, I figured that you had something planned, as there was mention of Celestia making what sounded like a near life changing decision concerning Twilight without her consent or opinion previously when she caught Twi with the stone and they had their talk. Now what that exact thing is you have yet to reveal, however I plan for you to reveal it at some point for maximum "holy crap" factor. And if so, the intentional holding back of Luna and Celestia's confrontation might be playing in your best interests for now. Just something that threw me off in an otherwise rather smooth going story at the time of reading it.
And I kind of figured Twi would remain mortal and such, yadda yadda. Most of the theories / concepts / ideas I've seen where pony becomes Alicorn directly involve the sisters themselves or a very powerful source of magic, none of which were present in your story. Doesn't mean you couldn't have done so, just meant that I was leaning towards the winged unicorn aspect of it. Although I will admit that I cringed when Axiom cut off Twi's wings, am I correct in saying that they were not saved since they barely saved Twi's life, and the mention of bone shards which I am guessing are fragments of the wing bases. Although, since they were removed via nonmagical means, does that mean she still has the ability to access Pegasus magic to some degree and potentially through the use of strong magics regrow said wings? Like I said, love to speculate!
And I will be more than glad to continue to provide feedback and comments throughout your writing, I find it enjoyable to do so, and most writers tend to like it as well, as it sure beats the "Next Chapter Plz" comments people tend to find a lot. Anyways, here is another nice long segment for you to digest, till the next one, cheers!
1569212 My thoughts exactly.
1664026
Don't worry man, shit happens. One mistake does not a bad writer make. Your not a bad author, just a sleep deprived one. There was only that one line, that I could have easily missed while reading, it didn't take away from the story at all, at most it was a tad bit confusing.
1664040 And luckily, it was an unimportant and easily fixed one. I also threw in a sentence about scars where her wings used to be, for extra clarity.
1664026
Don't worry about it too much! The story is still good, one mistake does not ruin all the hard work.
You have a good story here. I would like to see Twi get her wings back, she certainly did love having them. Also, winged Twilight looks awesome!
Dang it Twilight! When a time traveling stranger (known to Luna if not to Twilight) tells you to take an action you should DO IT ASAP!
Start making a new stone before you run out of time.