A human, masquerading as a pony, enters the world of private investigation. Despite every effort to avoid it, his activities accidentally involve him in a larger game, where only death awaits the loser.
I love this chapter. Twilight really shows herself to have matured as a Princess given her conversation with Anon and the Grey Arbitress appears to be an excellent antagonist. I hope the next chapter comes soon.
I'm not sure how I feel about the Grey Arbitress revealing herself so soon, at least directly. The formless (yet active) nature of them both would have been interesting to preserve for a little while more I think, but it seems that Spyglass and Shell have taken up the role as secondary antagonists in the sense they are the ones trying to piece together Anon as he tries to stay ahead of them.
She certainly holds all the cards at this point though, and there was everything left unsaid about her purpose or affiliation (I'm assuming she lied about most of what she did say, or at least lied by omission). The story is fascinating to follow, here is hoping that you get more readers since this is a really good work.
5593946 Perhaps the villain reveal was a little premature. That said, if Grey Arbitress and Anon kept up a kinda cold war type interaction, then I'd be writing about both Anon and GA trying to gain the upper hand while piecing each other together, while Shell and Spyglass try to track Anon, while Anon tries to evade them as well.
I grant you, that sounds like the sickest thing, but I just lack the skill to make a good story with all those elements. Maybe I should have tried, but it sounds too much like my personal recipe for disaster.
I love this chapter. Twilight really shows herself to have matured as a Princess given her conversation with Anon and the Grey Arbitress appears to be an excellent antagonist. I hope the next chapter comes soon.
5577369 It'll be out around the 10th, I imagine. Perhaps sooner since I'm making good progress.
I'm not sure how I feel about the Grey Arbitress revealing herself so soon, at least directly. The formless (yet active) nature of them both would have been interesting to preserve for a little while more I think, but it seems that Spyglass and Shell have taken up the role as secondary antagonists in the sense they are the ones trying to piece together Anon as he tries to stay ahead of them.
She certainly holds all the cards at this point though, and there was everything left unsaid about her purpose or affiliation (I'm assuming she lied about most of what she did say, or at least lied by omission). The story is fascinating to follow, here is hoping that you get more readers since this is a really good work.
5593946 Perhaps the villain reveal was a little premature. That said, if Grey Arbitress and Anon kept up a kinda cold war type interaction, then I'd be writing about both Anon and GA trying to gain the upper hand while piecing each other together, while Shell and Spyglass try to track Anon, while Anon tries to evade them as well.
I grant you, that sounds like the sickest thing, but I just lack the skill to make a good story with all those elements. Maybe I should have tried, but it sounds too much like my personal recipe for disaster.
I can only apologise.