Cooking with the Author and OC

by Blue Breeze

Lights, Camera, Action

"WHAT?!" everypony shouts to me at once.

I recoil and rub my ears from how loud it is. Yeah, that's pretty much the initial reaction I was expecting. I mean, how would you react if someone or something you didn't know just came to you and said he's going to host a cooking show with one of your friends?

...This whole situation is really weird when you think about it. Oh well. It's My Little Pony fanfiction. There's been weirder stuff.

I straighten myself up. "It's exactly what it sounds like. I'm trying to do something different for both myself and fanfiction in general. I figured doing a cooking show, something I've always wanted to do, would be a great way to do it. Plus, this'll make it so audience members can be much more involved. And since it's gonna be a real show, even the residents of Equestria will get some entertainment out of it."

"Wait, so does that mean the audience is watching us right now?" Blue asks.

"Yep, they sure are. Just look." I say, pointing at you all. Fear my powers!

Everypony looks at where I'm pointing and notices the audience. "Oh, yeah, there they are. Hey, guys." Blue says, giving a wave. "Well, that's all well and good, but what makes you think I'm gonna do this?" he says to me.

"Whether or agree or I have to force you, you're gonna do it."

"Oh, come on! Isn't it enough you pull me out of here all the time to do those stupid movie reviews and blogs?"

"Nah, those things don't get enough exposure. Besides, I thought it was about time I finally came to Equestria."

"Oh, and I'm SO glad you did, Timmy! I've been wanting to meet you for so so so so long, and now I finally have!" Pinkie says really fast, bouncing around in excitement. "We just gotta throw a party! It can be a 'First Human in Equestria and New Cooking Show' party! It'll just be so awesome and-"

I clamp her mouth shut with a hand. "I'm glad to be here too, Pinkie. But no parties. I've got plans, and you, my little hyper, over-active bouncing ball of cotton candy, need to help me with those plans."

She gasps as I let go of her mouth. "What do I need to do?! What do I need to do?!"

"I need you to convince the cakes to let us use Sugarcube Corner as our filming set."

"Why there?" Blue asks.

"Closest big kitchen I know of."

Pinkie gives a salute. "I'm on it, Timmy. You can count on me."

Pinkie leaves a thick trail of dust behind her as she zooms off as intructed. "Heh, gotta love her." I say, smiling. I turn back to the rest of the group. "So, does anypony know where I can get a camera and lights to set this up. I'm kinda broke."

"Um, yeah, I could lend you some stuff to use." Vinyl says a bit hesitantly.

"Really? Thanks a lot, Vinyl."

"Sure, no problem."

"Good, we're all set then. Well... except for one little thing."

"What did you do?" Blue says seriously.

"I kinda just popped in the middle of town and scared everypony inside because they thought I was a monster."

"Really? I mean, it's not like we don't have a bunch of 5'9 clothed, hairless apes walking around. Those are almost as common as dogs."

"Just come tell them that I'm not a monster. We're not gonna get anywhere if everypony is afriad of me."

He sighs in defeat. "I guess I have no choice."

"Tell you what, Blue. How about the first food we make is chimicherrychongas?"

"Chimicherrychongas?" he says quietly. "Buck yeah, I'll do it!"

"Glad to see your enthusiasm. The rest of you get the equipment and meet us at Sugarcube Corner."

They nod as we turn and follow after Pinkie.

Coming up to the town, ponies have now come back out. Seeing me they get scared again.

"The horror! The ho-" Lily starts saying before Blue shuts her up.

"Lily, just calm down. Now, you promise to be quiet?" she nods. Blue lets go her mouth. "Good. Now, I promise you all, he isn't a monster. This is my friend, Tim. I know him very well and I can assure you he's friendly. I mean, he's so nice he won't even get mad if you sock him in the gut."

"Wait, wha-OOF!" Blue cuts me off as he punches me in the stomach. I resist the urge to strangle him right there.

"See? What'd I tell ya? Super friendly."

Everypony smiles and nods to each other as they each agree about my harmlessness.

I pull Blue next to me and whidper in his ear. "I'm gonna get you for that."

I let him go as we continue our walk down to the giant gingerbread-looking building.

As we walk through, the bell on the door jingles and we see Pinkie talking with Carrot Cake and Cupcake.

"Hey, guys." Pinkie says. "It's all set. They said yes."

"Wait, so you two aren't freaked out by me?" I ask.

"Well, it definitely is strange for you to be here, but Pinkie has been talking about humans for a long time now. We figured it was only a matter of time before one showec up." Cupcake says.

"Huh, lucky me then. Well, I really appreciate it. We'll try not to make a mess."

"Or burn it down." Blue says.

"Burn it down?" Carrot Cake says worriedly.

"Hehehe, ignore him."

"Well, we'll let you kids get to it. Have fun." Cupcake says as the married couple leaves.

As they leavem, Drax, Dark, Zephyr, and Orion come back holding the equipment, Drax carrying the camera while the rest each held a few lights.

"We're back." Drax says.

"Great. Just in time too. Just set the camera down over in the kitchen. I want the rest of you to take the lights and set them up on the celing in there."

They nod as they carry it all in. "Everything is going just as planned."

End of flashback

"You know that question I asked? It was rhetorical. I remember how this happened." Blue says.

"Yeah, I know. But it was needed to let the viewers know what happened." I say.

"But I thought you said they were watching before."

"Yes, but this story started with us already here."

"Bit, I, you said, that-Oh, never mind."

"Come on, Blue. Get in the spirit of things."

"How can I when I'm being forced to do this?"

"Hey, I said we could make your dreasy heart-attacks first, didn't I?"

"Heart-attacks?! Why I oughtta-"

"No time. We're about to start." I take Blue and push him in view of the camera. "Lights, camera, action bitches!"

Comments

[Rhino]

I assume the "Draw" mentioned twice is "Drax"? Other than that, excellent job messing with Blue's perception of the concept of time and relativity between dimensions.

[Orion S]

"lights, camera, ACTION BITCHES!"

That was amazing.

[Zephyr]

Well, lol.
Who know that they'll make chimi-whatever-it-called for first? (Yes, I asked this sarcastically.)

[Worm]

[Blue Breeze]

553139 EXACTLY!

[Cobra 1]

Blue is thinking "Tim's logic makes no since. ITS VIDEO GAME LOGIC!!!

Evil Pinkamena should make an appearence!!

[Comedic Arts]

Oh dis gun b gud

[Menoshe]

Blue, it's a time paradox. Do not question it. You will destroy the space-time continuum.
553767 Here, let me get that for you.
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