Entry Four: Death
Set After Chapter 18: The Nightmare Revealed
I accompanied Twilight to a funeral today.
It was…
I had only met Daily Vigil a few times, and I had never exchanged more than a few words with him.
Still, he’s gone.
I’ve read reports and gone over census numbers. I understand biology. But knowing that a particular pony existed yesterday, and now he doesn’t, I’m not sure what to make of this.
I suppose in some ways it is the opposite of birth. I used to not exist and now I do. Daily Vigil used to exist and now he does not. I would rather exist than not, so I suppose that death is a bad thing.
I wonder exactly how many times my student has had to go through this. I could go through the records to see how many funerals she has attended, but I am afraid of what I would find.
In my last entry I wrote of the joy I felt at going outside and how it gave me a better understanding of my student’s dedication. I realize that I was writing about the joy of life. Today I understand the sorrow of death. My student does not work simply to preserve the beauty of life, but to avoid the pain of loss.
But it is inevitable isn’t it? Ponies just stop working. They are such fragile things. Even during the reign of Princess Celestia, ponies die. Even under optimal conditions ponies only seem to last at most around ninety to a hundred years. What I saw in Twilight today? How will she survive that over and over again.
It was an accident that took Daily Vigil, but I think some part of my student blames herself.
I don’t know how to fix things.
I saw Daily Vigil’s wife and son at the funeral. His son was quiet, just standing there. His wife was crying. They both lost the same pony, but their response were completely different.
I had no idea how to act. I think what I felt was awkwardness, but it is hard to tell. Nowhere in my reference memories is any indication that Princess Celestia had ever felt awkward. I spent the entire time shuffling my hooves while standing next to Twilight, hoping that nopony would notice my fidgeting.
What was I supposed to do?
I didn’t really know the pony. Not enough to have been there if it wasn’t for Twilight anyway. How is anypony supposed to react to that?
And then somepony said something that truly confused me. They said that Daily Vigil was in the great eternal pasture in the sky.
I asked Twilight about it and she explained the concept of the afterlife to me. I asked my student if she believed in it, and she was silent for awhile.
Eventually she told me that she used to but was not sure any more. She hoped that there was a place of rest for the ponies she failed. I did not ask my student the question I really wanted to ask.
Do I have a soul? If something permanently disrupts my matrix, will I go anywhere, or will I simply cease to be?
I’ve only just begun to live… I don’t think I want to die. If I was just a thing I would not be able to die, but I would not be alive either.
I’ve had some ideas about what I can do for my-
There is an alarm sounding. I hear the guard shouting. Something about the knight protector and the Princess leading an assault. I need to go
EqT is amazing, and a Romance-tagged sequel promises to be wonderful.
Is there a reason the story's title is "Diary One Hundred and Twenty Eight" but the cover art says "Diary Volume One Thirty Eight"?
Also, Chapter 2 of EqT calls the diary "Diary, Vol. One Hundred and Thirty Seven" (Diary with a comma, Volume abbreviated to Vol., and Hundred spelled out). Should the title styles be synchronized, or was it Twilight abbreviating in her narration, or was it a stylistic difference between Celestia and rune-bot CelestAI?
Also, in the description there's no need for both "This story is a sequel to Equestria's Twilight" and "A side story to Equestria's Twilight".
5465185
Slaps face.
The numbering difference is completely a derp on my part. It should most definitely be 138.
In regards to Vol. vs Volume: When I wrote the name in EqT, I felt it more in character with the Celestia I was trying to write and what she was doing with her diary. When I was making the imagine, I couldn't get it to look right in a way I was satisfied with. I am not great with typography, and so just went with using the full word. However, the difference in Vol. vs Volume can indeed be considered a difference between the real Celestia and CelestAI.
quiet
their responses were
Also, 5465485 your comment here contradicts your Author's Note in the foreword (or "Forward"?):
138 makes more sense given the "real" Celestia's diaries cut off at 137, so perhaps that was some sort of error as well?
5465185 5465485 5465916
OK, it looks like the mistake was naming this story. That is fixed easily enough.
Very interesting! Added to favs!