Home On The Range

by Bluecatcinema

What Mares Like

Many years ago...

The teenage Big Red was in a predicament. The annual Dodge Junction Hootenanny was coming up. Big Red would've liked nothing more than to ask Cherry to be his date. Alas, it wasn't that easy. Big Red was at war with himself; Part of him didn't want to ask her (for fear of rejection), while another part wanted to ask her before some other colt asked her first. He stood in front of a poster advertising the hootenanny, unable to decide what to do.

"What am Ah gonna do?" He groaned.

"Something up, Red?"

Big Red turned, seeing that Marshall was standing behind him.

"Marshall?" Big Red gulped. "Ah didn't realise you were back there..."

"I got that from the way you were talking to yourself." Marshall smirked. "So what's up?"

"Nothing." Big Red lied. "Ev'rythin' fine."

"You've got a terrible poker face, Red." Marshall smirked. "Come on, out with it."

"It's the truth!" Big Red insisted.

Marshall noticed the Hootenanny poster behind Big Red.

"It wouldn't have something to do with the big Hootenanny this Saturday, would it?" He smirked.

"Maybe..." Big Red shrugged.

"Worried about your dancing, are we?" Marshall chuckled.

"Uh... yeah, that's it!" Big Red nodded, playing along.

"So you're the not the most graceful pony around." Marshall said offhoofedly. "No big deal. There's other stuff to worry about, like getting a date. I was thinking of asking Cherry to come with me."

"What?" Big Red gulped.

"Yep." Marshall nodded. "But she's been busy at her daddy's ranch, so I haven't had the chance to ask her yet."

Big Red breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, catch ya later." Marshall declared, as he departed.

Big Red suddenly stood up straight. Marshall may have been his friend, but he couldn't let him ask Cherry. He had to get there first. Without missing a beat, he dashed over to Cherry Hill Ranch. Luckily for him, she was sitting out on the porch.

"Hi, Red." She smiled. "What brings you here?"

"Well, Ah hadn't seen ya in a while, so Ah figured Ah'd drop by." Big Red smiled.

"How sweet." Cherry smiled.

"So, uh, Cherry... Big Red mumbled. "Ya know the big Hootenanny this Saturday?"

"Of course." Cherry nodded. "I'm really looking forward to it."

"W-well, Ah was wondering if ya'd like ta go with m-me." Big Red stuttered. "Ya know, together."

"I'd love to." Cherry nodded.

"Really?" Big Red smiled.

"Sure." Cherry beamed. "Nothing like going to a dance with a friend, is there?"

'Friend?' Big Red thought. 'Well, guess it's better than nuthin'...'

That Saturday, Big Red and Cherry went to the Hootenanny together. As the hired band played their favourite songs, they danced together.

"Sorry if Ah'm not that good." Big Red apologised. "Dancin' never wuz mah strong suit..."

"As long as you don't step on my hooves, it's fine with me." Cherry chuckled.

Big Red noticed Marshall over to the side, watching them.

"'Scuse me fer a second, would ya, Cherry?" He declared, walking over to Marshall.

"Hey." Marshall said quietly.

"Hey." Big Red said sheepishly. "Ah know what yer gonna say, and Ah'm sorry fer-"

"Don't be." Marshall sighed. "You got there first, simple as that."

"Whoo, that's a relief." Big Red wiped his brow.

"Besides, it's just one dance." Marshall shrugged. "No big deal."

"Yer a real good sport, Marshall." Big Red smiled, as he returned to Cherry.

"Next time, you won't be so lucky." Marshall said quietly. "So for now, enjoy your victory."

The present...

Big Red was out on a stroll. He always liked to walk by the old swimming hole. The fresh air felt good in his lungs. As he neared it, he heard some high-pitched giggling; A few of the teenage mares rom town were playing around in the water, splashing each other and whatnot.

"Kids..." Big Red chuckled.

Big Red then heard a rustling sound from some nearby bushes.

"What the..." He frowned, moving in to investigate. He pushed aside one of the bushes to find Huckleberry, who was clearing peeping at the mares.

"What in Sam Hill are ya doin', boy?!" Big Red yelled.

"Aaah!" Huckleberry fell over backwards. "I... I was just-"

"Ah know what you wuz doin', Huck." Big Red growled. "And it ends now!"

Grabbing Huckleberry by the ear, Big Red dragged Huckleberry all the way back to the homestead, only letting go when they were in the living room. Cherry had taken Globe and Eclipse out into the orchard for a picnic, ensuring nopony could see Huckleberry's humiliation.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Huckleberry cringed. "What's the deal?"

"Ah'll tell ya what the 'deal' is." Big Red glared. "You was peeping at those mares! Don't ya have any respect fer the ladies?"

"Sure I do." Huckleberry smirked. "I respect how hot they are."

"That ain't respect." Big Red snarled.

"Dude, I was just checkin' the merchandise." Huckleberry defended. "Come on, ya tellin' me ya didn't enjoy the occasional peepshow when ya were my age?"

"Well, maybe one or two..." Big Red reflected, briefly getting lost in memories. "But it wuz wrong an' creepy! Almost as creepy as what Creepy Mort did ten summers ago..."

"I still don't see what the big deal is." Huckleberry snorted.

"Here's a thought: Instead a' spyin' on 'em, why didn'chya jest go down there an' talk ta 'em? Like a normal colt?" Big Red asked.

"I'm, er... not big on talk." Huckleberry shrugged.

"Yer not, are ya?" Big Red snorted. "Have ya ever even actually... talked ta a mare before?"

"Not as much as you'd think." Huckleberry admitted.

"Seriously?" Big Red gaped. "Ya'll been actin' like a lady's stallion fer all this time."

"Good actin', huh?" Huckleberry sighed. "That's the real reason I watch mares from afar. I'm not like pa: he'd bring a different mare or hen* home every night, and, well, let's just say they made a lot of noise together."

"Yer pa sounds like kinda a player." Big Red declared. "A purty rotten one, too."

"Yeah, he is." Huckleberry nodded.

"No wonder ya turned out like this, with him as a role model." Big Red declared.

"Yeah... well, I wish I had the same confidence he has." Huckleberry groaned. "I wouldn't know what to do if I met one face-to-face."

"Really? Big Red declared. "'Cause Ah think Ah might be able ta help ya with that."

"You?" Huckleberry snorted.

"Yeah, me." Big Red said indignantly. "Ah'm happily married, ain't Ah?"

"Good point." Huckleberry nodded. "So, what kind of sage advice do you have?"

"Well, fer starters, ya shouldn't treat mares as objects." Big Red declared. "Like ya did over Mist's picture, remember?"

"Oh, yeah..." Huckleberry smirked. He realized Big Red was glaring at him again. "I mean, of course! That's right out! What's next?"

"Next, ya should always make the first move." Big Red declared. "Ladies like that."

"They do, do they? Huckleberry smiled.

"An' ya gotta be polite, an' curty-us." Big Red continued. "Compliment 'em, offer ta lend a hoof, that sorta thing."

"Got it." Huckleberry nodded.

"An' don't forget ta talk." Big Red added.

"About what?" Huckleberry asked.

"Anthin'." Big Red declared. "The news, weather, hobbies... An' be sure ta listen when she talks, that's real important."

"Listen, got it." Huckleberry nodded.

"An' most of all, ya gotta treat 'em right." Big Red declared. "They're ponies, with feelin's and minds a' their own. Never think otherwise."

"Whoa, there's a lot more to this than I thought..." Huckleberry frowned.

"Sure is." Big Red nodded. "Now, what say we go back ta the swimmin' hole, and you introduce yerself ta those mares properly?" Big Red offered.

"What, now?" Huckleberry gulped.

"No time like the present." Big Red smiled. "Ah'm not expectin' ya ta go the whole hog, ya unnerstand. Just talk ta 'em."

"But, but…" Huckleberry gulped.

"Ah'll drag ya back there if Ah have to." Big Red smirked.

"Okay, fine." Huckleberry sighed.

They returned to the swimming hole. Only one mare was still there; A sand-coated, brown-maned, amber-eyed Earth Pony.

"Go on, kid." Big Red nudged Huckleberry. "Go fer it."

Huckleberry gulped, and stepped forward.

"Um, hi." He said awkwardly. "I'm Huckleberry."

"Hello." The mare smiled. "I'm Prairie. Haven't seen you around these parts before."

"I'm, uh, new here." Huckleberry admitted. "But enough about me, what about you? Where do you call home?"

"I live above the tailors." Prairie smiled. "My mom works there."

"No kidding." Huckleberry grinned. "I could use a new suit. Maybe I'll drop by some time."

"Maybe you should." Prairie smirked. "Speaking of which, I have to head back. It was nice to meet you, Huckleberry."

"Nice to meet you too, Prairie." Huckleberry smiled back.

As Prairie walked away, Huckleberry took a deep breath.

"I did it." He smiled. "I actually talked to a mare."

"Nicely done, kiddo." Big Red smiled. "Ah think that mare's got her eye on ya."

"You really think so?" Huckleberry asked hopefully.

"Aw, yeah." Big Red nodded. "A' course, we'll have to wait an' see where this goes..."

"I can do that." Huckleberry grinned. "But in the meantime... what'd'ya say about my chances with Mist?"

"Beg pardon?" Big Red raised a brow.

"I mean, I got what you said about treating mares with respect, but I'd like to have a shot at Mist, ya get what I'm saying?" Huckleberry chuckled.

"Ah wouldn't hold mah breath if Ah were you." Big Red shook his head.

"I know, she's a little too old for me, but I'm sure with what ya taught me, I can do her right." Huckleberry insisted.

"Ah wouldn't be so sure." Big Red declared. "Ya see, Mist is en-"

"Incredible?" Huckleberry smirked. "I know!"

"Naw, she's pre-" Big Red continued.

"Pretty beyond all reason?" Huckleberry declared. "Of course she is! So, you think I might have a chance with her?"

"Maybe a slight chance." Big Red shrugged, playing along.

"Sweet." Huckleberry grinned.

Huckleberry ran ahead, all giddy, leaving Big Red behind.

"Eh, he'll find sooner or later." Big Red sighed.

Not So Many Years Ago...

Not long after Silver Wind came to Dodge Junction, Big Red came by to pick up White to go to work.

He walked up onto the porch and knocked on the door.

"Howdy, White!" He yelled.

Big Red heard a curious rustling sound on the other side of the door. White then came out, a bit flustered, with a scarf around his neck.

"Mornin', Red." He said breathlessly.

"Ready ta go?" Big Red asked.

"You know it, pal." White nodded. "Let's get going."

As they headed to Cherry Hill Ranch, Big Red glanced at White, who seemed to be limping. And just what was the deal with the scarf?

"White... what's with the scarf?" Big Red asked.

"Oh, I was just in a scarf-wearing mood today." White said nonchalantly.

"Really?" Big Red asked. "'Cause in all the years Ah've known ya, ya never wore scarves. Ya said they itch a ton."

"Well, I was only a kid back when I said that." White shrugged. "I figured I'd give them a second chance."

White grunted in pain as he shook one of his back legs.

"And what's with yer legs?" Big Red inquired.

"Oh, uh... Charley Human?" White said awkwardly.

"I see..." Big Red muttered.

Silence ensued.

"You're not buyin' it, are ya?" White sighed.

"Eenope." Big Red shook his head.

"Okay, ya got me." White off his scarf, showing a couple of red marks along his neck.

"Woo, dawgie." Big Red whistled. "Did Silver do that to you?"

"Yeah." White blushed. "Me and her kinda got a little romantic early this morning, and she was..." He cleared his throat. "...Very affectionate."

"Ah'll say." Big Red smirked. "Hoo dawgies, the boys at work are gonna be jealous."

"Come on, Red, I doubt it's that big of a deal." White said, flustered.

"Really?" Big Red frowned. "'Cuz the way Ah see it, you have honestly the sexiest mare alive around these parts for miles, living with ya, with the hots only fer you. Now if she bakes ya a cherry pie, then ya'll be livin' the stallion's fantasy. And here Ah am, still wondering, why haven't ya married that girl yet?"

"Dammit, Red, what did I say back in Vanhoover?" White glared at him. "What happened between me and Silver was a one-time deal."

"Really?" Big Red smirked. "'Cuz this has ta be the sixth time you said that, and yet here ya are again, a limpin' redneck."

"Well..." White groaned. "I just can't help myself. Those dainty hooves, her summer gold eyes, that luscious black mane, those long, slender legs... and those flanks... Faust, Red, those flanks... I just lose it."

"Yeah, Ah'm pretty sure all the stallions in Dodge Junction saw them flanks." Big Red smirked.

"Easy there!" White growled.

"Sorry, pardner." Big Red chuckled. "Ah jest never saw ya as the Donkey Wan type. Judgin' by those marks, she must not be able ta keep her hooves off ya, ya stud, you!"

"Come on, Red." White groaned. "Don't talk like that."

"Whatever ya say, ya lothario." Big Red smirked.

"What did I just say?" White growled.

"Sorry." Big Red snickered. "Couldn't resist... lover boy."

White was about to speak when a voice called his name.

"White!"

Big Red and White turned to see Silver rushing over to them, carrying a package.

"What's wrong, Silver?" White asked.

"Nothing." Silver smiled. "I just forgot to give you this." She handed over the package. "A nice slice of cherry pie for you to enjoy at lunch. I made it myself."

"Thanks, Silver." White grinned.

"No problem." Silver kissed White on the cheek. "Have a good day at work." She then nipped him on an ear, whispering seductively. "See you when you get home."

"Y-yeah, sure..." White stammered, blushing harder than ever. "C-can't wait."

As Silver returned home, a pop in her step, White was left gawking and his wings stiff as rakes. All the while, Big Red's smirk grew even wider.

"Look at you, livin' the stallion's fantasy." He told White. "Only thing missing is a ring."

"Don't even start." White snarled, though his face was ridden with embarrassment. "Or I won't be sharing this pie with you."

"Touchy, touchy." Big Red grinned, as they kept on going. "Jest don't take too long. Wouldn't be fair to keep Silver waitin' forever... and with a body like that, there's a line of stallions that would kill to be in your hooves."

"Aw, shut up!" White pouted, trying to get his wings back into check. "Sometimes, I wonder why I hang out with you..."

"It's cuz Ah tell it like it is." Big Red smiled. "Ya can also count on me ta give ya the honest truth... even if it ticks ya off."

"Yeah, you're right." White sighed.

"Well, we better get goin'." Big Red declared. "Sooner we get to work, sooner you can get home to that lovely mare a' yours. Ah got a feelin' yer gonna need more scarves by this time tomorrow..."

"Let's hope not." White frowned. "Wearing just one scarf in this heat is bad enough."

"What's the problem?" Big Red smirked. "Silver already thinks yer 'hot' already. Might as well act the part."

"Funny, Red." White shook his head. "You should've been a comedian."

"Why, cuz Ah've got such great comic timin'?" Big Red asked.

"No." White answered. "So I could throw tomatoes at you whenever you cracked a joke."

"Now who's the comedian?" Big Red snickered.

Comments

[danick]

It's not going to show how red and cherry start to date?