Ya dun goofed

by Tyrfang

Chapter Two: this time it's personal

An eerie silence occurs in the room. The Royal sisters are shocked.

“What do you mean, ‘you need a place to stay’?” Luna questioned.

“Well, Lulu, it’s quite obvious that if we were to gallivant around Equuis with your powers, there would be civil distress, general chaos, and it would just be a hassle for us.” Nocturne replied.

“And we’d rather stay here than that danger magnet, Ponyville.” Solaris mumbled.

“Well, that, and if we leave, the Pink one will know. As long as we’re here, our presence will be hidden.” Nocturne said, “Hopefully” he thought, shuddering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile…

A pink pony was twitching.

“Ear flop, Knee twitch, nose wiggle, tail twist.” She thought. “There’s new ponies. Royalty.”

She began bouncing around her room, looking for her P.A.R.T.Y Cannon.

...It begins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Did you hear that? It sounds like laughter.” Solaris said, looking over his shoulder.

“We heard nothing. This is ridiculous, Sister, why are we entertaining them?!” Luna said, turning to Celestia.

“They do have a point, Luna.” Celestia replied. “If the public found out we’ve lost our power, we’d have turmoil from here to Zebrica. Not to mention the Griffons would laugh, and Dragon’s would no longer respect our treaties.”

“We-I understand” Luna sighed. She just wants to go back to bed.

Celestia turned to the twins, who had started a game of broshambo. She coughed and they turned their heads, waiting.

“If you two do not cause too much trouble, you can stay in the castle.” Celestia said.

“But Celly, we just met! Aren’t you being a bit forward?” Solaris said, eyeing the princess.

Celestia smiled, and walk towards him, sashaying her hip as she got closer...only to punch Solaris and knock him down. The Solar entity fell with as much grace as an elephant with a seizure, and Nocturne laughed.

“Now, if there are no more interjections” Celestia said, eyeing the downed man. “We can show you your rooms.”

“Hey Sol, you might wanna watch your mouth. I mean, if you can see at all with that black eye” Nocturne snickered.

“By the Sun, if you don’t shut up Nocty, I’ll beat you into a pulp,” Solaris said, sitting up, spitting out a tooth.

“Says the man beaten by a woman,” Nocturne laughed, as a shadow appeared behind him, eyes glowing white.

“And what is that supposed to mean, huh, ‘Nocty’?” Luna said behind him.

He jumped back, startled, sputtering.

“Absolutely nothing, there’s nothing wrong with being beaten by a woman” Nocturne laughed nervously.

“Hmm. Good. Let’s continue.” Luna said, leaving the two.

The twins looked at each other, shrugged and followed the sisters to their room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And here’s where you’ll be staying,” Celestia said.

The twins looked in, there were two beds, a balcony, and one bathroom. The brothers looked at the bed, then at each other, and nodded. In a flash the door was closed, the sisters knocked on their bums, and construction noises were heard inside. The sisters tried to open the door, but it would not budge. They used magic, kicked it, punched it, and were at their wits end. So, they got a battering ram.

“On three,” they said. “One...two…”

“THREE”, and they charged the room…

...Only to have it be opened at the moment before impact. They couldn’t stop…

...and ran straight off the balcony.

“It’s a good thing they can fly, right Nocty?” Solaris said.

“Indeed it is, Sol. Indeed it is.” Nocturne nodded.

The sisters flew in through the door, and were astounded. The room...hadn’t changed a bit.

“Seriously?” Celestia asked.

“YOU CHANGED NOTHING AND YET LOCKED US OUT FOR NOTHING?” Luna yelled.

“Hey! We did do something!” Solaris exclaimed, “Look!”

Solaris pointed to the center of the room. They had made...bunk beds.

“Wha..?” Celestia was stunned. ‘Of all the things they could’ve done...they did this?’

“There’s so much more room for activities!” said Nocturne, excited as the two danced around the room and practiced karate moves.

Luna and Celestia face palmed. ‘I hope they aren’t always this bad...’ they thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A train takes off from Ponyville, with six technicolor passengers on their way to Canterlot...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dinner hall was silent. Well, as silent as it could be with two ravenous men eating as fast as they could. Being a celestial body doesn't exactly mean you eat well. Or at all really. It's all a matter of perspective whe-

"WE GET IT, FOR FUCKS SAKE , MOVE ON! " yelled Solaris.

"Whom are you speaking to, Solaris?" inquired Luna.

"The bloody writer. He never shuts up." grumbled Nocturne.

The sisters looked at each other, clearly these two were insane.

"WE HEARD THAT!" the brothers shouted.

Ahem, moving on. So the dinner table was a wreck. The Royal sisters were appalled at the viciousness of the brothers while eating. It was Celestia who spoke first.

“So...Why now? Of all the times you could’ve came down to help us during battle or some other tragic event, you show up now. In peaceful times.” Celestia spoke, generally confused.

“Well, Cel, heh that rhymed,” Solaris snickered, “We knew you guys could handle it. Plus, destroying things in peaceful times is a no no.”

“I do have an inquiry for Nocturne,” Luna spoke, nervously, “Were you with me on the moon?”

“Pfft. I AM THE MOON. Of course. Why do you think you were able to be saved like you were?” Nocturne stated, as if it were plain fact but clearly it was not considering the sisters had no idea that the celestia-

“GET ON WITH IT!”

I’m just trying to lengthen-

“GET ON WITH IT OR SO HELP ME”

Alright, alright. Sheesh.

“I was there too,” Solaris nodded,”Except I was keeping Celestia off the deep end.”

Celestia spit out her tea, “What? What are you talking about, I’d never-”

“Ah ah ah, it is most unbecoming of you to lie, princess.” Solaris grinned through a cupcake. “Besides, it’s alright everyone has those thoughts sometimes. Everyone do-”

A trumpet interrupted one of our favorite protagonists. A crier entered the room along with a pompous looking prick of a-

“Announcing, Prince Blueblood!” the crier announced.

*Ahem* Prince Blueblood walked to the table and was disgusted. There was a commoner in his seat. He was outraged. How dare someone take his seat next to his beloved auntie Celestia. The seat farthest away from that Nightmare freak.

“Auntie. Why is there a lowlife peasant in my seat?” Blueblood asked, glaring daggers at Solaris.

Celestia was about to speak when she was interrupted, “I’m gonna be your new uncle, boy-o!” Solaris laughed, grabbing Blueblood and giving him a nudgie. “An’ tha’ ova ther’ is yoor otha’ uncal!” Solaris threw (yes I mean THREW) Blueblood to Nocturne.

“Aww look a' 'im, mate. So skinny we coul’ ave mistook ‘im for a lass.” Nocturne laughed as he gave Blueblood a wet willy.

Blueblood screamed. Hard. Like, a fucking banshee would be impressed. Anyways, Blueblood ran with tears in his eyes, as he had just been kinda manhandled (Anthrohandled? Ponyhandled?). Solaris and Nocturne laughed and high fived, and promptly went back to eating.

‘Well, they aren’t total brutes, are they sister?’ Luna spoke to Celestia through a mindlink.

See, after the sisters found out that the brothers could read their minds, they made a separate link through their heads. Kinda like a game server with a password that is too hard to remember all the time so you need a guy who’s in the server to give it to you. Anyways.

‘Just a bit unmannered. Kinda cute sometimes though. When Solaris made that comment about moving in, why I haven’t been that flustered in a while.’ Celestia said back.

‘Not to mention the scene we just witnessed. It took a lot of effort for us not to laugh at that display. It’s like the two alway operate on the same level of thinking.’ Luna stated

‘I wonder what they are thinking right now.’ Celestia mentally murmured.

The thoughts of the brothers were scattered all of the place, until a certain train pulled into Canterlot, and she stepped off the train.

‘She comes.’ They shuddered.

“What is the matter?” Luna asked, confused by the display.

“She comes, and she brings friends. Her cannon is scary, and she bends time and space to her will be merely offering it a cupcake.” Solaris said, shaking.

“We’ll be in the bedroo-” Nocturne started, before the dining hall door was busted in.

“WHERE ARE THEY?” shouted a pink pony.

Nocturne looked at Solaris, and nodded. Solaris smiled and looked to the princesses and said, “Close your eyes. This is gonna be blinding.”

Solaris turned around and glowed. Brightly. As if he were the su- oh wait. Everyone in the room’s eyes were useless for thirty seconds. Celestia and Luna were unaffected, due to being goddesses and they shut their eyes. Like seriously, is it that hard to not look at bright things? Anyways all that was left was a scorch mark and a note that said,

Dear Pinkie,

Catch us if you can ;)

Signed, Sol and Noct

And thus the chase began…

...And ended when they got to their room. Six technicolor ponies and the Princesses were waiting for them in the dark. No, no one knows how Pinkie did it. Not even the gods. No one. Ktulu himself is recorded as saying, “Fuck I’m literally a being made of destruction and Chaos, Discord’s great times a thousand grandpa, Eldest god of the whole multiverse, and yet that she-demon still confuses me.”

And the brothers thought they were safe. The went into their room and shut the door. And locked it. Several times. And drilled it shut. Because fuck you.

“That was close. She almost got us.” Solaris managed to get out through his panting.

“Hey Solaris.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t we always leave the light on?”

“Oh shi-”

SURPISE!!!

They were face to face with the Pink demon of Ponyville.

“DONT EAT US, WE’RE GOOD PEOPLE!” The boys shouted.

“Eat you? Why would I do that? I like meeting new friends! *gasp* You must have thought I made my cupcakes out of other people inthatcaseIhavetodenyitbecauseitisnttrueimeancomeonwhowouldeverdosuchanawfulthingtootherpeople? Oh yeah, what’s your names?” Pinkie smiled widely.

Nocturne was the first to speak, mainly because he was the first to recover from fear.

“I’m Nocturne, this is Solaris. Give him a moment, he a bit of a baby”

A loud thunk was heard across the land. Nocturne was on the ground with a bump on his head.

“WHOM ARE YOU CALLING A BABY, YOU BIPEDAL BITCH” Solaris roared.

A sweep kick knocked him over and Nocturne spat back, “YOU, YOU LAZY DEGENERATE”

They started fighting as brothers do in the middle of the room. Applejack and Rainbow were laughing at the display, Pinkie Pie was taking bets, while Rarity, Fluttershy, and Twilight were in shock, from brutishness, fear, and the desire to know more respectively. Luna and Celestia were slightly miffed.

The two brothers stopped fighting for a moment. They looked around and and said this,

“We know who you guys are by the way.” Solaris started.

“And we will be friends with you” Nocturne added.

“On one condition” They smiled.

“Oh oh what, what is it?” Pinkie asked jumping up and down.

“We take this party to the streets!” The brothers exclaimed, highfiving.

The only person to not agree was Fluttershy, which was understandable. The princesses were harder to persuade, but eventually with enough pleading, and a few convincing argument and blackmailing, it was decided they should go for “chaperoning” purposes.

After a night of clubbing, debauchery, drinking and singing, everyone ended up in the Castle wasted. The ponies with less constitution passed out. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were still talking loudly and hitting on the Night Guard. The princesses and the Solar entities were playing a game of truth or dare. And Pinkie was singing this.

And they danced and drank some more at the Castle. And all was well...except for the next morning...

It started with a scream or two, and four very confused people...and a couple of questions.

Author's Note:

I'm still probably maybe dead. Not really , but hey, Chapter new, amirite?

AS always leave a comment, helpful or not, I don't care, I'd just prefer something nice. Like talk about the weather. Or what you had for breakfast. Something something something. Yeah

~Tyr

Comments

[Lord_Kalbario]

Damnit Pinkie!
Ahhh. Alcohol, the problem and solution to life's many questions