Philomena's Fun

by 420swagmoney

The beginning

Philomena wondered where this cream pegasus was taking her. As she sat on the pegasus's back, she marveled at just how little Ponyville had in comparison to Canterlot. At one point, she even saw a farm. A farm! In Canterlot, they just used their magic, and poof! Food was sitting there in front of them.

They passed some very strange looking buildings. One was a hollowed out tree, and another was a carousel. At one point, they reached the outskirts of town. "Finally," Philomena thought. It had taken forever to get there, and the phoenix was eager to stretch her legs. The pegasus approached a small cottage. This cottage was probably the most serene looking thing Philomena had ever seen. A stream ran under a small bridge, birdhouses hung from every branch, and the house itself seemed to be built out of leaves. On top of all this, there were animals everywhere. "This pegasus must really like animals," Philomena speculated.

Boy, she had no idea.

Judging by Celestia's description of a "Fluttershy" who enjoyed the company of animals, Philomena figured that this was that same Fluttershy. As they approached the cottage, Fluttershy began talking. "Oh, you poor thing. How did you ever get in such a bad condition?" Did this pony not even know about shedding day? Gee, no wonder she looked shocked earlier at the bakery. If she didn't know about shedding day, then it would just seem like Philomena was deathly ill.

Still, that wasn't an excuse to birdnap her.

Fluttershy seemed to cringe every time Philomena let out a cough. She continued, "Don't you worry, Philomena. I'll nurse you back to health. It's clear the Princess hasn't had time to take care of you properly." That was true. Celestia had neglected to give Philomena her drink. That was why she had this bad cough, but Fluttershy didn't seem to know that. Every time Philomena let out a cough, a few feathers would fall off. With every feather, the expression on Fluttershy's face got more and more grave. Philomena wasn't dying. She just had a cough.

And, of course, it was shedding day.

"I'm sure the Princess will appreciate the help." Philomena wondred if she actually would. While it would be a heap off the Princess's shoulders, there was nothing to help with. Meh, what did she care. This pegasus would pay, Philomena would see to that. She coughed. Fluttershy, clearly panicking, said, "Oh, my. We simply must get you to bed, right away!" Philomena could do with a nap. When Fluttershy put her in bed, though, it wasn't to sleep.

It was as if she put her in bed just to lie down. Who goes to their bed just to lie down? When Philomena saw the thermometer, she knew now was the time to start toying with Fluttershy. As Fluttershy pulled the blanket over her, she adjusted her body temperature to a boiling hot. This startled the poor pegasus, and she quickly pulled the sheet off and placed an ice packet on the phoenix's head. Immediately, Philomena dropped her body temperature to below the freezing point of water to match.

Fluttershy, worried beyond her wildest dreams, started putting the blanket on and taking the ice pack off. When Philomena adjusted her body temperature again, she put the ice pack back, but took the blanket off. This continued for a while, up until the point where they actually broke the thermometer. "This is worse than I thought. We need to get you some medicine, stat!" Philomena chuckled. Even if she did have a disease, she sincerely doubted there would be a cure to it.

The pegasus rushed off, coming back with a plate and a pill. Philomena refused to take it. "Doctor Fluttershy expected that!", Fluttershy said while pouring a heaping pile of bird seed over the pill. Thank Celestia! Philomena was starved. As she devoured the bird seed, she made it a point to go around the pill. Something about the seeds didn't quite sit right, but that didn't matter. Philomena was having too much fun to notice, anyway.