A Shy Shrink

by Draconaes

A Pink Party Pony

Friday morning found Fluttershy at Sugarcube corner. She had already had three more talks with Trixie, and had finally gotten Twilight to agree to talk to her as well. Twilight had been reluctant to have somepony else "monitoring" their friendship, but she had eventually caved-in when she realized that Fluttershy would otherwise be hearing things exclusively from Trixie's point of view.

Fluttershy was about to sit down with a delicious pastry when a wild Pinkie Pie appeared from under her table. "Hey Fluttershy!" After taking a few moments to extract herself from the ceiling and remember how to use her lungs, Fluttershy retrieved her pastry (a simple doughnut, for the exceptionally curious) and tried to be angry at Pinkie Pie. She failed miserably, but it's the thought that counts.

"H-Hello Pinkie."

Pinkie Pie started bouncing around her table. "Have you seen Trixie around? Or Berry Punch? Ooh! What about aliens? Have you seen any of those? I think they have no eyes and sharp teeth and wings that don't actually let them fly isn't that sad? I wonder if Twilight could cast a spell that would let them fly, I bet that would make them happy! Oh, and they apparently really like trees for some reason. I mean, you like trees to, right? So I thought to myself, "Pinkie Pie! Who would be the most likely to see aliens in trees?" and I answered, "Why, that would be Fluttershy, silly!" and then I thought to myself, "Hey! I'm not being silly!". Anyway, Trixie hasn't been around lately."

Fluttershy wasn't sure what Pinkie was talking about, but since that wasn't exactly an uncommon occurance, she decided to ignore most of it. "Oh, um, yes, I've seen Trixie. I just spoke with her yesterday, actually."

"Great! Do you think you could ask her why she doesn't come around Sugarcube Corner anymore? She used to visit me pretty often, and she didn't even buy anything most of the time, which is pretty weird. Why would anypony come to Sugarcube Corner if they didn't want something to eat? You know, it's funny, because Berry Punch is accusing me of stealing her, but how can I be stealing her if I don't even see her anymore? Has she been busy or something?"

"O-Oh. Well, she's been spending more time with Twilight, actually. Also, she's been visiting me every other day. She and Twilight are trying to be friends, but they are having trouble with it, so I'm helping them out."

"Oh really? How's that?"

"Well, they come talk to me about what the other pony has been doing that's bothering them, and I try to give them advice on how to deal with the situation, mostly. Um, what did you say about Berry Punch?"

"Oh yeah! She's accusing me of keeping Trixie from her or something! I don't really know what she's talking about, though. Do you think maybe she's drinking too much lately? We could have an intervention! It's like a party but even better because it involves setting a pony on the path to self-actualization!"

Fluttershy blinked. Pinkie occasionally surprised her with her wide vocabulary. "R-Right. Actually, Trixie told me a few days ago that Berry Punch was apparently, uh, "infatuated" with her because of something she did at a party. She said that... you... told her about that?"

"I did? Oh well. Why would Berry Punch be mad at me though?"

Fluttershy assumed that Trixie must have just inferred the situation from something Pinkie Pie repeated from Berry Punch. Pinkie Pie could sometimes be a little... oblivious. "Well, apparently Trixie used to spend a lot of time with you. Applejack told me that she was flirting with you pretty blatantly, too. Berry Punch must have assumed that she likes you. But... Trixie said she would talk to her about this..."

"Well of course she likes me! I threw her a bunch of parties and became one of her very best friends!"

"No Pinkie, I mean, as a special somepony."

"What?! That's silly! Trixie obviously has the hots for Celestia. Don't even get me started!"

Fluttershy was taken aback. "W-What?"

"Yeah! See, she ran away from her home in Canterlot because she felt that her parents didn't understand her and because she hated the snobby unicorn nobles. That's why she doesn't like unicorns, right? Anyway, she admires Celestia and Luna because she feels they actually use their magic to accomplish important things! But she doesn't feel attracted to Luna because for one, Luna only just came back this year, and two, she's part of the Night Clan, and Luna is like a family member to them. Celestia on the other hand, is totally available, and she grew up able to look up to her. It's just simple logic! You would think the whole "part unicorn" thing would be a turn-off for her, but nope! She's totally eager to "worship the sun god", yesiree bob."

"W-What?"

"What what?" Pinkie Pie tilted her head.

"How do you know that?"

"Oh, that's easy! See, she tells me stories, or at least she did when she visited, and she told me about how she left Canterlot to show the world what a real unicorn could accomplish. I remember that she lied to Twilight about her parents being dead, and she later told me that they had tried to force her into an arranged marriage, which she ran away from. Obviously, that wasn't true, and the only logical reason for her to leave was because she wasn't getting the attention she wanted from her parents and because they wanted her to be a Canterlot noble, but she wanted to be a performer. It's really quite obvious, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy shook her head. "No, I mean, I guess some of that could be true, I'll ask Twilight about it, but I mean, what was all that about Princess Celestia?"

"Come on Fluttershy, I already explained all that! I tried to tell Berry Punch, but she just got angrier for some reason. Of course, the whole alien thing probably shook up Trixie's view on a lot of things. I heard that she's trying not to be a meany racist-pants towards other unicorns lately! Maybe she stopped pining for Celestia when she abandoned Luna to deal with it!"

Fluttershy let her head slump to the table besides her yet uneaten pastry. The offending pastry offered no sympathy, sitting in silent rebellion of being eaten. Fluttershy would probably have to make it enter her stomach by force if it didn't start cooperating soon. As for Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy wasn't sure how much of what she was saying to take seriously. She almost sounded like a conspiracy theorist, saying that the crisis was something to do with secret aliens. Unfortunately, that was one of the more believable "facts" she had just spouted off. She looked up at Pinkie's smiling face.

"Pinkie, I don't think you can assume these things about Trixie. Even if it makes sense logically-" Fluttershy was convinced that it didn't, but it payed to be diplomatic. "-you could be wrong. And even if you're right, this doesn't seem like something you should be telling other ponies without Trixie's permission. Spreading rumors can be hurtful, Pinkie."

"Oh, I know that! I only told Berry Punch because, as a not-so-secret paramour of Trixie's, she needed to know she had competition. And I told you because you're, like, her psychiatrist or something, and this could help you help her!"

Fluttershy sighed. "Pinkie, I'm not a real psychiatrist."

"You only play one on t.v.!"

Fluttershy forged on, ignoring Pinkie's latest non sequitur. "I'm just a friend that's helping her get along with Twilight. That's all."

"Well either way! But don't worry! I won't tell anypony else! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" Pinkie Pie grabbed her doughnut and used it in place of a cupcake. The effect was rather silly, especially considering that she placed it over her open eye instead of her closed one.

"Okay, Pinkie." Pinkie smiled as Fluttershy fidgeted.

"Can I please have my doughnut back?"