A Shy Shrink

by Draconaes

First published

And then Fluttershy was a therapist.

Fluttershy loves being able to help her friends. The problem is that there usually isn't much she can do for them that somepony else couldn't do better. One thing she is good at, however, is listening. Unfortunately, her friends discover this. Now she is beset on all sides (one or two can count as plural right?) by ponies desiring social advice. Will she be able to help them all without completely exhausting herself? (Yes.) Will she be happy about it? (Probably... Where's the conflict in this story again?)

And then Fluttershy was a therapist.

(This is pretty much a sequel to Ursae Majoris: Eternal Knight. Parts of this story will seem bizarre without context, but I suppose it might still be possible to enjoy it on its own.)

A Reluctant Reputation

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Notes: So, I'm thinking of the dangling plot bits (wow that actually sounds kinda dirty for some reason...) from Ursae Majoris, and then I wrote some stuff about Fluttershy having to deal with Trixie and Twilight having friendship problems and then some other stuff about [spoilerz for later in the story etc.] and then I thought to myself "Hey, there are apparently some people that liked reading Ursae Majoris. Maybe they'd like reading this too! And maybe some other people would also like reading spinoff stuff without having any idea what's going on! Might as well publish this!" So then I did.

Sometimes You Just Need Somepony To Talk To

It was a breezy autumn day when Twilight first came to Fluttershy's cottage for advice. Fluttershy had been taken aback at first: why would Ponyville's premier thinker and professional friendship-advice-giver need her help? As it turned out, Trixie had been causing problems. Well, that's what Twilight seemed to think at least. Truthfully, it didn't seem like either of them were entirely blameless. Trixie may have been obnoxious and troublesome, but Twilight had made very little effort to interact with her beyond the Ursa Major Incident.

Sure, she had agreed to Trixie's demands for housing and work, and she had nursed those injuries she had gotten in the forest doing... whatever it was that Twilight had sent her out for. She had even dragged her drunk flank back to the library after she had said some rather... inappropriate things. (By Celestia, was Fluttershy glad she hadn't been witness to that.)

However, the fact remained: Twilight hadn't actually tried very hard to be friendly toward Trixie whatsoever. So Fluttershy informed her of this. After some rather awkward... insinuations on Fluttershy's part (she honestly did not mean to imply that Twilight was a bad friend!), Twilight agreed to try working harder to get along with Trixie. As they were parting, Fluttershy spoke the words.

The most terrible words she had ever spoken, even including unfortunate, accidental implications concerning Twilight Sparkle's character. The words that would forever go down in history (or at least in her journal) as the source of all evil. Or at least some evil. Really, it's not that evil but it caused such a Celestia darned nuisance at times. But yes, those words:

"Bye Twilight Sparkle! I hope if all works out for you. And, uh, if you ever need my help, feel free to stop by!"

-one week later-

Fluttershy was startled from her daily chores by the sound of knocking at her front door. She opened it to see none other than Trixie standing before her. She was wearing her strange white cape (how did she get that "negative sparkle" effect?) and feathered hat. Rarity had told her about it, but she had also said that Trixie had supposedly switched back to her old cape and hat after (technically) receiving them from Twilight.

"Oh, um... hello Trixie. Can I help you?" Trixie proceeded to enter Fluttershy's cottage and glance around, looking very nervous. This seemed uncharacteristic based on what Fluttershy had heard about her.

"Twilight has told me that you are a good pony to talk to if one needs advice, or at least somepony to talk to. I... admit that I am feeling a little... adviceless?" Trixie gave Fluttershy a hopeful glance.

Normally, Fluttershy disliked talking with other ponies, although she could make exceptions for her friends. In this case, however... she was still apprehensive. She could still try, though: it would be impolite to refuse. "Um, okay. I'll go prepare some tea, and we can talk."

A few minutes later, after some tea leaves had been brutally submerged in hot water, Fluttershy felt ready to face one of her greatest challenges: successful social interaction with another pony. She knew of Trixie from Twilight and her other friends, but she hadn't had the opportunity to meet her personally. She felt a little guilty about that. Still, it had only been, what, a week or two since she had arrived? And there had been that whole "national emergency" thing at the time. Fluttershy figured she could forgive herself this once.

"So, uh, what exactly is bothering you?"

Trixie sighed dramatically. "It's that blasted eun-" Fluttershy cut her off with a sudden glare. "Er... unicorn, Twilight Sparkle! Can you believe that she sent me out to collect flowers the other day!? Me! Trixie! Harvesting flowers! I don't care how magical they are, this is demeaning! Sometimes I question whether she really is a Canterlot snob, despite my previous evaluation of her!"

"But... isn't that what you were, well... "hired for" implies that Twilight was the one making the choice, but-"

"That's the thing! I was hired before this whole "Savior of Equestria" thing! I don't know why she spent so much time convincing me that I actually wasn't a complete waste of space during the whole fiasco if she was just going to treat me like this afterward! I mean, all that work and Princess Luna takes all the credit! Sure, she deserves most of it, but I didn't do nothing! Twilight could at least try to acknowledge that, like she did before!"

"Um, I notice that you're getting better at using the correct pronouns..."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Don't patronize me. It's a self-esteem thing, not an ignorance of basic grammar. You can ask Twilight next time she reports on her little "let's fix the broken mare!" project. I'm sure she's perfectly willing to spill all the juicy details of my psychological profile. She'll probably write a research paper on me and everything."

Fluttershy shook her head. "Look, I don't know exactly what is going on between you and Twilight Sparkle, but I do know that Twilight is only trying to help you however she can. She wants to be friends with you, Trixie, even if she doesn't know why herself."

"I believe you when you say she doesn't know why, but I don't suppose you have any insights on her compulsive friendliness?"

"Well, um, I'm not sure if I should be speculating like this, but I think that part of it is that she wants to prove that it's possible. If she can become friends with you, then I think she would feel vindicated for valuing and researching friendship so much. She might think that it's a great example of just how powerful friendship can be."

"Wow, thanks. Let's see if we can overcome Trixie's inability to form meaningful relationships as an experiment! I feel much better now."

Fluttershy frowned "That's not what I meant! And this isn't a one-sided problem. Twilight came over last week because she wanted to know what she was doing wrong."

"Ha! And what was she doing "wrong" anyway? I certainly didn't notice her throwing verbal abuse at me!"

Fluttershy glared at her again. Trixie was being deliberately obtuse. "She was running away from you at first. I'm not sure exactly why, but when she realized it she felt really bad. She doesn't want to drive you away again, so the very least you can do is try to get along with her in return!"

Trixie sat stock still, mouth agape. She blinked a few times. "I had gathered from Pinkie Pie that you were soft-spoken and, well, doormatish." Did this unicorn often make up words when she was nervous?

Fluttershy huffed lightly. "I'm not a doormat! Well, maybe I am... but I don't want you and Twilight ruining your friendship over something silly." She took a breath and paused. She really didn't want to say what she was going to say. If she could somehow find a way to live up to her title as world champ of "Shhh", she would. But for some reason, her vocal chords decided to become decidedly more effective today. "I think you and Twilight should each come talk with me every other day. I think I can help you two get along better."

Trixie's gaze flitted about nervously. She looked like she was trying to avoid admitting to something particularly painful, like it was the kind of confession where everypony present is already aware of the truth, but the perpetrator is still required to confirm that she knows what she did. Eventually she decided that staring at the floor was the best course of action, lest it try to escape while she wasn't looking.

"Trixie..."

"...Alright. I'll come over every other day. I don't know if Twilight really needs to bother, but I'll let you tell her, if you really want: I'll... admit... I don't want to ruin whatever potential friendship I might have, but I'm not going to start scheduling her life for her."

"Thank you, Trixie. For what it's worth, I'll gladly consider you a friend, if you want."

Trixie looked nonplussed. "I... I... uh... right. Trixie accepts your friendship, Fluttershy. A-As long as you aren't trying to get any further obligations out of her!"

"No, not at all! I just think that you could use another friend." Fluttershy gave her a wide smile.

"Hmph, Trixie is not- you- I mean... another... never mind. Th-Thanks... Trixie must depart now!" Trixie quickly got up and made for the door. "She has yet to finish collecting the ingredients that Twilight requested. Even if her work is demeaning, she must earn her keep." She turned around at the threshold and bowed. "Farewell, Fluttershy!"

Fluttershy waved. "O-Okay. Goodbye?" After Trixie closed the door, Fluttershy's head decided that the desk was an appropriate resting place, and adhered to it, post-haste. Fluttershy groaned. She still wasn't sure why she had volunteered to more advice giving. At this rate, she'd get a reputation for helping ponies, which would mean more ponies coming to her for help, which would mean more talking to ponies!

She was doomed.

A Troubled Trixie

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The next day, Fluttershy got up early in order to finish her chores quickly. She had to go visit Twilight and discuss the situation with Trixie. She had only be up for a few hours when her morning routine was rudely interrupted.

"Fluttershy!" Fluttershy squeaked and dropped the bag of food she was carrying as her front door slammed open. She looked to see Trixie standing with her back against the door (Did she really open and close it so fast that she only heard one slam?). "You have to help Trixie!"

"Trixie? You weren't supposed to come back until tomorrow, and it's pretty early. What-"

Trixie raced forward and grabbed her shoulders. "This isn't about that! Berry Punch is chasing me!"

Fluttershy blinked. "Umm..." Trixie just continued to stand there, panting for breath. "You... you can let go now..."

"Oh! Um, yes, right, of course!" Trixie backed off and started meticulously straightening her cape. "Sorry, Trixie is just worried about facing Berry Punch again."

"Why?"

"Oh, well, you see, I may have accidentally given her the wrong idea at that first party that Pinkie Pie threw for me."

"Um, I'm not sure what you mean... I mean, I heard about that... er... racism thing but, well, you are kinda-"

Trixie blushed and waved her hoof in the air. "No no no! Not that! Besides, I've already admitted that I might be wrong about unicorns, okay? I've been trying not to let their snootiness get to me anymore. Luna, I've even payed back that dressmaker for destroying her dress forms. This is all beside the point, though! Did you hear what Berry and I did at the party?"

"Well, I heard that you both got really drunk..."

Trixie started pacing. "Hmph, what a waste. Not even worth idle gossip? I guess being drunk is the only reason I thought a stunt like that would ever be good for anything..."

Fluttershy wasn't sure what was going on. Trixie had a habit of talking to herself like this, according to Twilight. Or rather, talking to others as though they were inside her own head. Twilight had speculated that it had something to do with Trixie imagining herself as a narrator. "Um, what exactly did you do to Berry then?"

Trixie stopped pacing and sighed. "I didn't do anything to her. We both kinda... made out a bit." Trixie blushed again. "I haven't seen her since the incident, especially with all that stuff happening in the Ever..." Trixie seemed to realize who she was talking to. "Uh, nevermind. State secret. Anyway, I heard from Pinkie Pie that Berry is apparently maybe infatuated with me a little bit? I'm afraid she might have misinterpreted my actions."

"Oh, I see. I mean, passionately making out with somepony at a party doesn't have to mean anything serious. I'm sure she'll understand if you tell her that it was all a publicity stunt and that you only wanted access to her alcohol stash." Fluttershy smiled sweetly at her. Rainbow Dash had once told her that she had the sharpest cutting sarcasm of anypony she knew. At first Fluttershy hadn't known what she meant, but after a rather... illuminating discussion, Fluttershy learned how to do it deliberately.

Trixie did a double-take. "I- but- how- I didn't even say that she gave me the alcohol!"

"It's Berry Punch. And she usually doesn't share with just anypony, as you apparently know."

Trixie's eye twitched. "When did you get so..." She waved her hoof, searching for the word. "...this?" Well, it seemed that Trixie had left her eloquence behind today. Fluttershy almost preferred her when she was articulate.

Fluttershy shrank back as she realized how she was acting. "S-Sorry. I, uh, well, it's just, if my friends need help, I do what I need to, even if it means being more assertive." She shook her head. "A-Anyway, that's not the point!"

"Well, I get the feeling that you are implying that this whole situation is all my fault." Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. "Ugh, fine, blame me if you want, just tell me what to do to fix this!"

"Well, you're going to have to tell Berry Punch sooner or later."

"Just tell her that I was using her? Are you crazy? Can't I just say that I was too drunk to be rational? Trixie's not even gay! Well, I don't think I am. Look, even if I was, and even if she's a cute earth pony, I just don't like her! She gave me a hangover the next day, anyway."

"Um, that's not really her fault, and, well..." Fluttershy was perplexed about her sudden denial of being gay. Homophobia was even rarer than (intra-species) racism in Equestria. "What do you mean you're not... you've been flirt-"

"This isn't the important part! Look, I'll just tell her I was too drunk at the time and that it didn't mean anything."

Fluttershy frowned. "Um, well, aside from being a lie, I don't that that would make her feel much better than being told it was an act."

"Who cares about her feelings? I just want her to leave me alone!"

Fluttershy grit her teeth. Twilight may be convinced that Trixie was making progress toward being less... Trixie... but from what she had heard and from her own current experience, Fluttershy had her doubts. Still, she had agreed to be friends with Trixie, and she wanted to help. Baby steps. "Why?"

"Why?! Because-" Trixie cut herself off. "Because..." She sighed and resumed her pacing. "Look, it doesn't matter."

"Well, do you think you could, maybe, try to fix things without hurting her feelings?" Trixie just grunted in response. "Well, what about this: if you talk to Berry without hurting her feelings, it would probably impress Twilight. Remember when you apologized to Rainbow Dash and Applejack? You know, you should probably apologize to Rarity as well."

Trixie's face lit up at the mention of Twilight, but it fell when she heard Rarity's name. "But I didn't even really do anything to her! Besides, she didn't press charges when I vandalized her shop and assaulted her, so obviously she considers us square."

Fluttershy had heard about that, but to hear Trixie admit to it so freely (and without guilt!) upset her. She took a deep breath. "It's not about being "square", Trixie. I don't know what you have against unicorns, but Rarity is one of my best friends. I know that she would genuinely appreciate an apology from you."

"Alright, alright. Fine. Trixie will go apologize to Rarity and talk to Berry Punch. If this doesn't work out, I'm blaming you!"

"Don't worry. I'm sure everything will be fine."

A Pink Party Pony

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Friday morning found Fluttershy at Sugarcube corner. She had already had three more talks with Trixie, and had finally gotten Twilight to agree to talk to her as well. Twilight had been reluctant to have somepony else "monitoring" their friendship, but she had eventually caved-in when she realized that Fluttershy would otherwise be hearing things exclusively from Trixie's point of view.

Fluttershy was about to sit down with a delicious pastry when a wild Pinkie Pie appeared from under her table. "Hey Fluttershy!" After taking a few moments to extract herself from the ceiling and remember how to use her lungs, Fluttershy retrieved her pastry (a simple doughnut, for the exceptionally curious) and tried to be angry at Pinkie Pie. She failed miserably, but it's the thought that counts.

"H-Hello Pinkie."

Pinkie Pie started bouncing around her table. "Have you seen Trixie around? Or Berry Punch? Ooh! What about aliens? Have you seen any of those? I think they have no eyes and sharp teeth and wings that don't actually let them fly isn't that sad? I wonder if Twilight could cast a spell that would let them fly, I bet that would make them happy! Oh, and they apparently really like trees for some reason. I mean, you like trees to, right? So I thought to myself, "Pinkie Pie! Who would be the most likely to see aliens in trees?" and I answered, "Why, that would be Fluttershy, silly!" and then I thought to myself, "Hey! I'm not being silly!". Anyway, Trixie hasn't been around lately."

Fluttershy wasn't sure what Pinkie was talking about, but since that wasn't exactly an uncommon occurance, she decided to ignore most of it. "Oh, um, yes, I've seen Trixie. I just spoke with her yesterday, actually."

"Great! Do you think you could ask her why she doesn't come around Sugarcube Corner anymore? She used to visit me pretty often, and she didn't even buy anything most of the time, which is pretty weird. Why would anypony come to Sugarcube Corner if they didn't want something to eat? You know, it's funny, because Berry Punch is accusing me of stealing her, but how can I be stealing her if I don't even see her anymore? Has she been busy or something?"

"O-Oh. Well, she's been spending more time with Twilight, actually. Also, she's been visiting me every other day. She and Twilight are trying to be friends, but they are having trouble with it, so I'm helping them out."

"Oh really? How's that?"

"Well, they come talk to me about what the other pony has been doing that's bothering them, and I try to give them advice on how to deal with the situation, mostly. Um, what did you say about Berry Punch?"

"Oh yeah! She's accusing me of keeping Trixie from her or something! I don't really know what she's talking about, though. Do you think maybe she's drinking too much lately? We could have an intervention! It's like a party but even better because it involves setting a pony on the path to self-actualization!"

Fluttershy blinked. Pinkie occasionally surprised her with her wide vocabulary. "R-Right. Actually, Trixie told me a few days ago that Berry Punch was apparently, uh, "infatuated" with her because of something she did at a party. She said that... you... told her about that?"

"I did? Oh well. Why would Berry Punch be mad at me though?"

Fluttershy assumed that Trixie must have just inferred the situation from something Pinkie Pie repeated from Berry Punch. Pinkie Pie could sometimes be a little... oblivious. "Well, apparently Trixie used to spend a lot of time with you. Applejack told me that she was flirting with you pretty blatantly, too. Berry Punch must have assumed that she likes you. But... Trixie said she would talk to her about this..."

"Well of course she likes me! I threw her a bunch of parties and became one of her very best friends!"

"No Pinkie, I mean, as a special somepony."

"What?! That's silly! Trixie obviously has the hots for Celestia. Don't even get me started!"

Fluttershy was taken aback. "W-What?"

"Yeah! See, she ran away from her home in Canterlot because she felt that her parents didn't understand her and because she hated the snobby unicorn nobles. That's why she doesn't like unicorns, right? Anyway, she admires Celestia and Luna because she feels they actually use their magic to accomplish important things! But she doesn't feel attracted to Luna because for one, Luna only just came back this year, and two, she's part of the Night Clan, and Luna is like a family member to them. Celestia on the other hand, is totally available, and she grew up able to look up to her. It's just simple logic! You would think the whole "part unicorn" thing would be a turn-off for her, but nope! She's totally eager to "worship the sun god", yesiree bob."

"W-What?"

"What what?" Pinkie Pie tilted her head.

"How do you know that?"

"Oh, that's easy! See, she tells me stories, or at least she did when she visited, and she told me about how she left Canterlot to show the world what a real unicorn could accomplish. I remember that she lied to Twilight about her parents being dead, and she later told me that they had tried to force her into an arranged marriage, which she ran away from. Obviously, that wasn't true, and the only logical reason for her to leave was because she wasn't getting the attention she wanted from her parents and because they wanted her to be a Canterlot noble, but she wanted to be a performer. It's really quite obvious, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy shook her head. "No, I mean, I guess some of that could be true, I'll ask Twilight about it, but I mean, what was all that about Princess Celestia?"

"Come on Fluttershy, I already explained all that! I tried to tell Berry Punch, but she just got angrier for some reason. Of course, the whole alien thing probably shook up Trixie's view on a lot of things. I heard that she's trying not to be a meany racist-pants towards other unicorns lately! Maybe she stopped pining for Celestia when she abandoned Luna to deal with it!"

Fluttershy let her head slump to the table besides her yet uneaten pastry. The offending pastry offered no sympathy, sitting in silent rebellion of being eaten. Fluttershy would probably have to make it enter her stomach by force if it didn't start cooperating soon. As for Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy wasn't sure how much of what she was saying to take seriously. She almost sounded like a conspiracy theorist, saying that the crisis was something to do with secret aliens. Unfortunately, that was one of the more believable "facts" she had just spouted off. She looked up at Pinkie's smiling face.

"Pinkie, I don't think you can assume these things about Trixie. Even if it makes sense logically-" Fluttershy was convinced that it didn't, but it payed to be diplomatic. "-you could be wrong. And even if you're right, this doesn't seem like something you should be telling other ponies without Trixie's permission. Spreading rumors can be hurtful, Pinkie."

"Oh, I know that! I only told Berry Punch because, as a not-so-secret paramour of Trixie's, she needed to know she had competition. And I told you because you're, like, her psychiatrist or something, and this could help you help her!"

Fluttershy sighed. "Pinkie, I'm not a real psychiatrist."

"You only play one on t.v.!"

Fluttershy forged on, ignoring Pinkie's latest non sequitur. "I'm just a friend that's helping her get along with Twilight. That's all."

"Well either way! But don't worry! I won't tell anypony else! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" Pinkie Pie grabbed her doughnut and used it in place of a cupcake. The effect was rather silly, especially considering that she placed it over her open eye instead of her closed one.

"Okay, Pinkie." Pinkie smiled as Fluttershy fidgeted.

"Can I please have my doughnut back?"

A Fragile Friendship

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After finishing her pastry (it was delicious), and reminding herself to use normal logic now that Pinkie Pie wasn't around, Fluttershy made her way to Twilight's library. She had finally gotten Twilight to make room in her schedules for "friendship coaching", although Fluttershy felt the term was pretty inaccurate. Twilight had agreed, but wanted something concise for her schedule.

Fluttershy was only a few feet from the door when an azure pony stormed out. "Trix-" Fluttershy decided against finishing her sentence upon seeing the look of rage of Trixie's face. She didn't seem to notice Fluttershy, and stomped purposefully in the direction that Fluttershy had just come from.

Twilight poked her head out the still open door. "Oh! Hello Fluttershy!" The two of them exchanged uneasy smiles. Twilight ushered her inside and set about preparing some tea. After a few moments, Fluttershy broke the uncomfortable silence.

"Um..." Smooth. If she wasn't careful, Canterlot would draft her as a diplomat.

"She was apparently upset that I'm giving her work. Which I really don't understand. She basically forced herself into my employ, and now she's complaining about it? I was under the impression that she wanted to earn some bits, but I'm not going to just throw it at her. She'd probably find that insulting, anyway. So I decided to just give her enough work to justify paying her a fair amount. She hasn't exactly asked for any free time aside from visiting you, either, so I'll admit that her sudden outburst her was a little unexpected. I have no idea how I'm supposed to actually get along with her, Fluttershy. I mean sure, working together to save Equestria from one disaster or another breeds a certain camaraderie, but I honestly think we can't coexist without going for each others' throats!"

Twilight slammed the finished pot of tea into the table, rattling the settings. Fluttershy ducked behind her chair. "Eeep!"

Twilight sighed. "Sorry, Fluttershy. I'm just getting pretty frustrated here. I haven't been avoiding her like before, but she still won't talk to me."

"W-Well, how much work exactly have you been giving her?"

"As much as I can. I pay her for each job, and she needs the bits, so I'm trying to give her as much as I reasonably can. Of course she can always ask for more free time. I'm surprised she hasn't."

"O-Oh... I, uh... maybe I was a little too convincing..."

"What do you mean?"

Fluttershy shrank a bit further. "W-Well, I've been talking to her, telling her to try harder to get along with you. Maybe she thought that refusing assignments or asking to be away from you would be bad? A-Also, this would explain why she hasn't talked to Berry Punch... or Pinkie Pie, I guess..."

"But that doesn't make sense! She should know she can ask for a reprieve! She made me hire her in the first place!"

"Did you... tell her that? Explicitly?"

Twilight blinked, then slapped a hoof to her forehead. "Ugh... why can't dealing with her be easy..." Twilight poured the two of them some tea. "What was that about Berry Punch?"

"Oh, right. She had some sort of misunderstanding with her, and i told her she should resolve that, but if she was busy I don't think she had the time to talk to her. I think that might be part of why she was upset. I, er, I don't think she'd want to inform you of the situation either."

Twilight looked a bit confused, but after a moment, realization dawned on her face, quickly followed by distaste. "I think I can imagine the source of the "misunderstanding". I had hoped Trixie would have handled the fallout from that with more responsibility. Not ignoring it completely seems to have been too much to expect from her."

"I don't really know if I can comment on that yet. If... if she comes back, you can tell her that she can stay with me tonight. I need to talk to her about this, and, well, not to imply that-"

"Just say it. We don't need to play this game every single time you need to criticize me."

"S-Sorry! Anyway, I don't think you two should interact very much until I talk to her, at least. If she decides to continue staying at the library, she'll probably be fine until tomorrow, though. I hope."

Twilight sighed. "Alright, if you say so."


-that evening-

Fluttershy listened intently as Rainbow Dash described the technical details of her latest trick. Of course, it would be more accurately to use the word "inattentive" instead of "intently", and "slouched in her chair" instead of "listened", but Rainbow Dash didn't notice, so it was basically the same thing.

"-and if I can get the twist just right at the right time- hey, do you hear something?" Rainbow Dash ceased her (attempt at) demonstration of what she meant with her hooves.

"Sounds dangerous..." Fluttershy just swirled her tea around. She had been drinking an awful lot of it lately. She wondered if it was weird that she automatically moved to make tea the minute a friend came over simply so she would have something to do other that standing around, being all awkward.

"Fluttershy!"

She jerked her head up. "Huh, what? What's wrong?"

Rainbow Dash sighed theatrically. "Do you hear that?"

Fluttershy concentrated and found that she actually could hear something. It was hard to make out, though. It was increasing in volume though, and a moment later both pegasi jumped at the sound of insistent knocking. "I-I'll get it..."

As she was about to open the door, she was finally able to place the sound as somepony crying or whining or something, presumably on the other side of the door. She opened the door and was greated by a very cheery Twilight Sparkle. Trixie was on the ground next to her, sobbing, evidently having been dragged here by Twilight.

"Hi Fluttershy! Sorry to bother you, but you offered to house Trixie for tonight, and, well, to be honest, I'm kinda hoping you could help with this..." She motioned to Trixie, who was currently attempting to crawl away.

"Oh, um..."

Twilight magically grabbed Trixie's tail and started dragging her inside. "NO! Nonononononononono noooooooooooooooooo!"

Twilight was undeterred. Rainbow Dash flew over and grabbed Trixie, dragging her into a chair. She tried to bolt, but Twilight and Rainbow Dash held her down. "No! Let me go!"

Rainbow Dash struggled to hold her in place. "Twilight, why are we doing this?" When it became clear she couldn't escape, Trixie chocked back a sob. A moment later, she slammed her forehead into the table once and screamed. All three ponies recoiled and flattened their ears.

"ARGH, TRIXIE, THIS IS IMPORTANT! STOP FREAKING OUT!" Fluttershy could barely hear Twilight over Trixie's screaming. She wasn't holding back on this.

"Why's she like this!"

"WHAT?"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "THIS IS STUPID!"

She pulled back and delivered a powerful thwack the the back of Trixie's head with the side of her hoof. "AAAAAAAA!-" Trixie leaned forward slightly, eyes unfocused, before slumping in her seat.

Fluttershy just stared at her with wide eyes. Rainbow caught her gaze, and then looked away. "I couldn't stand another minute of that. She'll be fine. She'll probably be better when she wakes up. Wow, I didn't know anypony could actually sound like that. What happened Twilight?"

Twilight forced a smile and started pacing nervously. "Well, she returned earlier, and, well, we talked, I guess. I mean, exchanging words is what happened, essentially, right? And, well, yeah. She... that... yeah..." Her voice cracked a bit, but she kept that imposter of a smile firmly on her face. "I really don't know. Honestly I'm not exactly in the best state myself. Emotions... happened. And hearing somepony scream like that, I mean... how often do you hear somepony scream with raw emotion like that? I can tell you, I heard it at least a two more times than you did. If you don't mind, I'm going to go curl up in bed and try to forget the sound." She made her way to the exit.

Rainbow Dash zipped in front of her. "Hold on! We still don't know what happened with you guys!"

Twilight just shook her head and teleported Rainbow out of the way. "I'm sorry, but I really can't tell you anything. Nothing concrete was really said between us, just... emotions happened, I guess. Fluttershy can ask Trixie about it. I don't feel like spilling anything she did say. Goodnight." She slammed the door closed.

Rainbow sighed and turned to Fluttershy. "You alright?"

Fluttershy blinked and looked away from Trixie. "Y-Yes, I'll be alright. That was just... pretty sudden."

"Yeah. Anyway, as I was saying, if I can get the twist just right..." Rainbow started pantomiming her move again.

"Y-You know, I think I should actually make sure Trixie doesn't have a concussion. It's getting a bit late, anyway."

Rainbow Dash glanced at Trixie again, still unconscious at the table. "Oh. Right."

"You should probably go make sure that Twilight gets home safely. She seemed pretty shaken."

"Yeah, alright. I'll make sure she doesn't randomly enchant the whole town again or something. See ya, Flutters."

"Bye, Dash." After dismissing her friend, she turned to Trixie again. Scratch that. After dismissing her one friend, she turned to her other friend again. She decided she might as well get her into bed. She wasn't going to be waking up any time soon. She hoped that Trixie would be willing to talk about what had happened.

I'm running out of alliteration :(

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yup

A Royal Rant

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The first snowfall of the year occurred somewhat earlier than usual. Apparently some new legislation was messing with Cloudsdale's schedules. Fluttershy was glad that she wasn't a part of the weather service: Rainbow Dash and the rest of the Ponyville weather team were currently swamped with paperwork.

Fluttershy herself was currently watching the library for Twilight. She, Trixie, and Spike had all left for Canterlot that morning. Apparently Princess Celestia had something important to talk to them about. Fluttershy wondered if this had anything to do with the "Everfree Incident", as most ponies not in the know referred to the mysterious event that had taken place three weeks ago.

She had just finished preparing a cup of tea for the evening when she heard the library door open. "Fluttershy? Twilight Sparkle informed us that you would be guarding her library!" Fluttershy poked her head out of the kitchen to see...

"P-P-Princess Luna?" Luna smiled upon seeing her and barged into the kitchen. Fluttershy quickly got out of her way. "Um, what's-"

"Twilight Sparkle and Trixie both spoke highly of you, Fluttershy. I remember your help on Nightmare Night, and decided I would best be served by speaking with you." Yup. That was it. When royalty was coming to her for help, she had to admit that she was unfortunately going to get the entirely wrong kind of reputation.

"Um, Princess..."

"Please, call me Luna."

"Oh, okay. Um, Luna... what's wrong?"

"That thrice blasted sister of mine is what's wrong! Do you recall the crisis not three weeks past? She had the gall to leave me in charge for that! I know she knew something was going to happen before she left! She even hinted at the locks being inadequate! She won't even say where she went! And then... and then! She returns just after I fix the problem, and she awards me a title? The nerve of her! And she won't say anything about it to me directly!"

"Um..."

"She named me "Defender of Equestria", for Discord's sake! I've never known her punishments to be so cruel!" Fluttershy thought that being banished to the Moon for a thousand years would probably be considered more cruel than being awarded a title, but she didn't want to contradict Luna while she was so agitated. She didn't want to contradict Luna at all, really. "She's implying that my previous title of "Shield of Dark" is meaningless! I was already supposed to be Equestria's official guardian! And she just throws the position at me like I hadn't had it all along!"

"Well..."

"And the worst of it all is that she still isn't taking me seriously! Do you know that she is, at this very moment, holding a meeting with Twilight Sparkle and Trixie concerning the incident!? Without me!? I don't know what she thinks she is doing, but if this is meant to "teach" me something, it is failing spectacularly. Withholding secrets related to national security aside, I've done nothing to warrant such treatment! I was the one that procured our informant in the first place! I think I should be involved in anything related to her!"

"Uh... Luna..." Luna paused and looked at her. "Is it... safe for you to be telling me all this?"

"Oh, right. As a spirit of Harmony, I believe you can be trusted. You can ask Twilight Sparkle to fill you in on the other details if you want. As "Defender of Equestria"..." She snorted, "I deem you safe. Celestia can reprimand me later with another title. Maybe she'll name me "Co-ruler of Equestria" or "That Pony that raises the Moon"!"

"Um, well... have you talked to her about it?"

"Of course not! She's the one that apparently has a problem with my actions! She should step forward and address me directly!"

Fluttershy ducked behind her cup of tea. "Well, see, uh, it seems like she might want you to bring up the subject with her. Maybe she wants to give you the, well, ability to make the decision to talk about whatever is happening between you yours. Maybe she thinks that if she brings it up, you'll assume she's trying to, um..." Fluttershy trailed off, unsure of how to express herself tactfully.

Luna silently stared out the window for a minute. "I suppose I see your point. Thank you, Fluttershy. I think I just needed to speak my mind without worrying about the consequences. I'll speak with Celestia later tonight. Maybe I can convince her to stop this pointless game she's playing. Twilight Sparkle spoke true when she said you were a great pony to talk to."

"Oh, no, I really-"

"I really must return to Canterlot. I've thought of a wonderful solution to one of our problems just now. Farewell for now, my dear pony." Luna suddenly teleported away, presumably to Canterlot. Twilight must have taught her the long-range teleportation spell she developed.

"Oh dear..."

A Mysterious Message

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Fluttershy stared cautiously at the scroll before her. It had materialized from thin air just moments ago, right in front of her face. She couldn't recognize the seal, but it looked like it was probably from some royal organization in Canterlot. She decided she should probably open it.

Eventually.

Any minute now.

It's not as though anypony in Canterlot had any reason to... wait... was it the flora of questionable legality? Equestria had... intricate importation laws, but surely those pretty flowers she had bought a few months ago wouldn't have attracted attention?

Oh no! She couldn't think of anything worse than being arrested by the secret royal police! She didn't care what Twilight said! Canterlot would be silly to not have secret police! The reason nopony has heard of them is because they are secret! It's right there in the name!

Trying not to hyperventilate, she decided to open the scroll and read it. She really hoped it wasn't as bad as she thought.

~~~
Fluttershy,

Upon recommendation by Princess Luna Revenio, Mage Twilight Sparkle, Neophyte Trixie, and Archmage Pinkie Pie, (this last entry was crossed out with a scribbled note saying "who wrote this?") You have been selected for assisting one of our patients via our new "Pen Pals" supplementary treatment method. Our patient will write letters to you, and you will be expected to respond. Failure to respond to a letter within two days will be interpreted as opting out of the program, and you will face no penalties.

This particular patient will be going by the pseudonym "Epona". The patient will only know their pen pals by the name of "Friend". It is recommended that you do not divulge your real name to them, but it is not prohibited. All letters will be screened by our staff. You will find the first correspondence from "Epona" attached to this scroll.

One more note: This pony is a rather unique psychological case. They may say things that sound strange, unbelievable, or impossible. It is recommended that you humor them. Do not attempt to dissuade them from anything that sounds like fantasy. We will be handling that with other psychological treatments. Your only goal is to provide friendship and an outlet for them.

Have a good day!
~~~

Nope. It was even worse. This must have been what Princess Luna was talking about the other night. She opened the second scroll and started reading.

~~~
Hello "Friend",

This charade is apparently meant to help me recover. No doubt they've told you what you need to hear in order to disbelieve anything odd I might say. I'm going to take this opportunity to rant at length about language. An "acquaintance" of mine hated wordplay, you know. He was pretty odd, in my opinion. My kind of people generally love wordplay. You know, we don't even have a lot of native words related to language. How paradoxical. I learned that it is possible to be what is called a linguist here. How I wish I could have been one of those.

It's getting rather difficult to continue this discussion without letting it slip that "oops, I'm actually not a pony and from an entirely different culture", so I'm just going to leave that there. (edit: you might as well humor the patient here. We won't reveal the actual details of the patient's species etc. for confidentiality reasons.) I might also let slip that I'm an alien. Oh, and I was involved in an attempt to (edit: this segment has been removed for one or more of the following reasons: security/irrelevance/impeding treatment/personal request). No doubt this will be a great opportunity to learn the limits of what I can reveal.

At any rate, I've quickly taken a shining to many of your people's idioms and conversational styles. Dry, direct sarcasm is refreshingly simple compared to some of what I've seen, and I've tried adopting it. I have a question for you, "Friend". If you've actually read along this far, through my meandering prose, this "relationship" might be worth pursuing. At the very least it will combat my boredom. My question is thus: what type of pony are you?

"Epona"
~~~

Fluttershy sighed. Why was she, of all ponies, getting so many requests for social interaction. She was about as far from an expert as one could be. Still, she couldn't turn down a pony in need. Even if they weren't actually a pony. Or likely insane. She didn't get a name from the organization, but she assumed by the language and by the writing of the "patient" that it was related to treating mental health issues.

"Epona" seemed indescribably bored. She also seemed very distrustful of her caretakers. And yet, she seemed to be offering Fluttershy some level of trust, in exchange for someone to talk to. Fluttershy figured that she couldn't say no to that, at least not yet. She could always stop if this became troublesome. She set to writing a reply right away.

Hello Epona,

To answer your question, I am a pegasus. I am curious why you wanted to know, if you don't mind telling me.

I am surprised to hear that you are an alien. If you would like to tell me more about that, I would be willing to listen.

I get the feeling that you aren't very happy with your caretakers at the moment. I am sorry if that is the case, but I am sure that they are only trying to help you. If you don't mind, I would like to hear more about why you are under their care.

Also, not to sound rude, since you pointed it out yourself, but I do hope that your future letters are less unfocused.

Your Friend

It felt odd to sign a letter without her name, but she decided she might as well follow the first letter's advice. It struck her that she didn't know how to send the letter back. She turned over the first letter and saw a scribbled note.

Who's the foal that drafted this letter? This is hardly proper formatting, and you left out tons of info! When you finalize this, include the instructions to relay the responses through Twilight Sparkle. They're friends, right? And for the love of Celestia, don't transcribe these notes like last time! They aren't supposed to be on the final draft.

Oh. She was supposed to give it to Twilight. Well, they were supposed to meet in an hour anyway, so she decided to wait until then. Hopefully Twilight would know more about this whole ordeal.