Equestria Girls /0

by Bitt_Player

Chapter One - Zoid Battles for Fun and Profit

“I can’t believe this team’s picking a fight with us!” Rainbow Dash commented. She leaned back in her seat in the Hover Cargo’s main control room and looked at the opposing team’s roster, which was projected onto a section of the main windscreen. “Three Helcats? I mean, I know they’re modded and all, but come on! Our team’s gear is just as public as theirs, they have got to know what we’re packing, right?”

“Salem Team is going to be relying on their experience to overcome our heavier Zoids,” Sunset Shimmer pointed out. “They’ve been fighting -and winning- for years, and this is our first battle, after all. Plus, to be honest, I think they may have some overconfidence problems.”

“Given that they’re veteran pilots, why are they still in the D-Rank circuit?” Rarity asked, idly examining her polished fingernails. She had had to trim them down so that she could wear her new gloves properly, but it wouldn't do for a Zoid pilot to go into battle inappropriately attired, and in Rarity's opinion, that meant snug, military-grade non-slip gloves.

“They have a pattern of challenging newer teams to battles.” Celestia explained from the Hover Cargo’s command chair. “They tend to focus on teams with fewer than five matches on record, and they never challenge a team with more wins than they have, nor do they accept challenges if they can avoid them.”

“I get it, they pick on newbies to score easy prize money,” Dash said, frowning.

“And whenever they earn enough points to move up to C-Rank, they re-discover the fact that all their battles against brand-new teams did nothing to prepare them for dealing with other veterans,” Luna added. “They get absolutely trounced, lose a great deal of points, and get dropped back to D-Rank. Usually in their very first C-Rank match.”

“Y’know, I felt kinda bad goin’ up against such li’l Zoids with our hardware, but knowing that, I ain’t so bothered by the prospect any more.” Applejack grumbled. “Imagine, pickin’ on brand-new teams ‘cause they ain’t got the guts t’ challenge up the ladder. I say, let ‘em deal with our beefy Zoids.”

“We’re almost at the battlefield,” Rarity pointed out. “Where is Pinkie Pie? It’s about time we discussed our strategy.”

“Did someone say ‘strategy’?!” As if on cue, the sliding door behind Celestia opened and Pinkie burst into the control room.

“Your timing is immaculate, as always,” Rarity said, “I’m of the opinion that, as our strategist, Sunset Shimmer should be telling us how she intends for us to win our first battle.”

“That’s a great idea! Lay some plan on us, Sunset Shimmer!” Pinkie declared gleefully, flopping onto the floor at Sunset’s feet.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take a seat?” Sunset asked.

“Here’s good!” Pinkie replied in a sing-song voice, resting her chin on her palms.

Sunset resisted the urge to roll her eyes and leaned forward as everyone except Celestia turned their seats to face her. Celestia continued to monitor the Hover Cargo’s auto-pilot. “Okay, well, this is a three-on-three battle, with no restrictions on Zoids, weapons, or anything like that. Since we only have three Zoids -apart from the Hover Cargo, of course- we’re hitting them with everything we’ve got.”

“So tell us about these Helcats,” Dash said, “those big lasers on the backs aren't stock, I know that much.”

“Those are flexible booster systems,” Sunset explained, “as the name suggests, they consist of a high-output ion booster in addition to the forty-millimeter laser, and those supports can point them in multiple directions to give them a great deal of extra agility in addition to the speed increase. The lasers are suited for mid-range combat, and are very accurate. They pack a decent punch, too. The big downside is, flexible boosters were designed for larger Zoids that can carry more weight and generate more power than the Helcat. They had to drop all their normal weapons to accommodate them, so the lasers are their only ranged attack. They’re also slower than a stock Helcat when the boosters aren't running. On the other hand, they kept the stealth units, which will be our biggest problem.”

“Stealth units? Don’t tell me they can hide from my sensors!” Applejack said incredulously.

“Oh yes they can, your Dark Horn’s sensor suite won’t pick them up. None of our Zoids can track them while the stealth units are running, in fact. Even worse, they incorporate optical camouflage, so you won’t even be able to see the Helcats.”

“That does sound like a problem!” Pinkie declared, inexplicably cheerful.

“It has its weaknesses,” Sunset replied, “the system incorporates the Helcats’ surface into its operation, so anything worse than incidental damage will inhibit the optical camouflage, if not stop it from working altogether. On top of that, since Helcats weren’t designed for weapons as demanding as those lasers, they’ll have to shut down the stealth units to fire. That’ll give you about a second between the stealth units powering down and the lasers firing, during which even the Zaber Fang’s composite sensors will be able to pick them up.”

“That’s not much warning,” Rarity complained, “but I suppose it’s better than nothing.”

“In order to remain stable while firing, the Helcats will also need to come to a dead stop. That should make things a little easier.” Sunset said. She then used the console in front of her to replace the picture of Salem Team’s Helcats with a map of the battlefield. “Besides, I have a plan. We’re deploying on the southern side of the battlefield. Once the battle begins, you’ll move to this point-” a red dot appeared about one-third of the way up from the south edge “-and take up a triangle formation. Pinkie, you’ll face your Dibison south, be ready to lay down a barrage with your cannons. The fire rate on those guns is on the slow side, but with seventeen of them, you should be able to maintain a steady stream of shells downrange. Your job is to punish these guys if they try to pull off a rear attack. I don’t know if you’ll be able to get a lock with your missile pods, but if you can, use them.”

“You got it!” Pinkie rolled over onto her back and saluted.

Again striving to avoid rolling-related eye movements, Sunset continued. “Applejack, your Dark Horn will be the northwestern corner of the triangle. Your weapon unit is turreted, so all you’ll need to do is rotate it into position and cut loose with your laser Gatling gun. If you can get a Helcat to stay still, lay into it with all three barrels of your linear cannon. I wouldn’t bother with your single-shot missiles, Helcats are too evasive to hit reliably with those babies, and they’re not tough enough to be worth trying anyway.”

“Yeah, those single-shots ain’t worth shooting at anything short of a Command Wolf.” Applejack agreed, “an’ I pulled the rest of the weapons t’ git some more speed outta the Dark Horn.”

“That extra mobility could come in handy,” Sunset said, nodding. “Rarity, you’ll be on the northeastern corner with your Zaber Fang. Zabers were purpose-built for dealing with small, agile Zoids, so you’re our diva. You can outrun a stock Helcat, though Salem Team will have speed advantage if they use their boosters. Your laser machine gun and dual-barreled beam cannon will be your main weapons, but don’t hesitate to crack off a burst from your shock cannon if you get the chance. And if they’re dumb enough to close to melee range, you should be able to take them out in one bite.”

“Of course,” Rarity said, “as undignified as I find melee combat, I shall employ my fangs and claws if need be.”

“I know this ain’t the best time, but are you sure yer okay with not fightin’?“ Applejack asked, “I know you were kinda wantin’ to. You too, Rainbow.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sunset waved a hand dismissively, “you’ve seen my simulator results, right? Now if we had a Zoid designed for melee combat I’d glue myself to its seat if I had to, but even the Zaber Fang only does melee as a last resort, you know? I don’t like ranged combat, and all three of you are better at it than me anyway.”

“And I’m holding out for a fast Zoid!” Dash said, “if we score something really high-speed I’ll be interested, but the big lunks we’re hauling around now just aren’t my style.”

“Since we're on the subject, I think Fluttershy would rather talk to the Zoids than pilot one!” Pinkie added cheerfully, “which is what she’s doing right now, come to think of it.”

“Is she at least loading up the ammo like she said she would?” Applejack asked, slightly exasperated.

“Yupperooni! You know, maybe Fluttershy would like a Zoid that could talk back!” Pinkie answered. Luna’s face took on a thoughtful expression, but she remained silent.

“We’ll reach the battlefield in five minutes,” Celestia said calmly, “get ready, everyone!”

---

“All right, everyone ready?” Applejack asked, gripping her Dark Horn’s controls.

“You know it!” Pinkie answered.

“Coordinates are set, we’re just waiting for the Judge,” Rarity added.

“We’ll teach these punks t’ pick on newbies!” Applejack leaned forward, grinning.

“Judgey-robot-guy incoming!” Pinkie cried out gleefully as her Dibison roared at the sky. A white, metal capsule was falling from space, the heat of reentry surrounding it in a burning aura that could be mistaken for a shooting star if seen from a distance. The capsule slammed into the ground at the exact center of the battlefield, the force of its impact creating a large crater. Four Magnessor vanes on the capsule’s underside levitated it to a height slightly above the crater’s edge as the front opened on a large hinge, revealing the Judge.

Mass-produced semi-humanoid robots meant to oversee official Zoid battles and ensure that all rules were obeyed, Judges were essential to the Zoid Battle Commission's operation, and were present at all Commission-sanctioned combat situations. They had the power to cancel battles and disqualify competitors. With permission from the Commission, they could even revoke a team's charter. Due to their immense leverage, even less-reputable teams always obeyed the Judges.

“Area scanned! Battlefield, set up!” The Judge declared as its pod turned to face east. “Battle Mode Zero-Nine-Eight-Two! The Salem Team-” The Judge raised its red-flag hand to point north. “Versus the Empyrean Team!” The Judge’s blue-flag hand pointed south. “Ready… Fight!”

“All right, get out there and win this!” Sunset called out from the Hover Cargo’s control room as her teammates’ Zoids surged forward.

---

“Tch, no sign of ‘em yet.” Applejack grumbled, tracking her Dark Horn’s turret back and forth. “What’re they up to?” Just as Sunset Shimmer had warned, her Dark Horn’s sensor suite stubbornly refused to detect any enemy Zoids.

“I bet they’re trying to figure out who to shoot first!” Pinkie replied, still in a state of inexplicable delight. Her Dibison’s front legs were spread wide so she could alter its facing by shifting the shoulders. She intended to use this to give herself a limited form of horizontal tracking as compensation for the fact that the Dibison’s guns were all fixed.

“I think you’re right, Pinkie,” Rarity agreed. She had her Zaber Fang in a half-crouching position, and like Applejack was tracking her turret left and right. The half-crouched pose gave her Zaber Fang additional firing stability, and was also a good position to start either a forward lunge or vertical pounce if the situation required.

“Found one!” Pinkie sang out, opening up with her cannons as the sensor readouts in all three Zoids chirped at the presence of the hostile machine. Applejack and Rarity spun their turrets around to lock onto the Helcat, the pilot having given up his attempt to shoot Pinkie’s Dibison and sprinting in a wide arc around the group, fleeing Pinkie’s multitude of cannons. Applejack’s laser Gatling whirled up to speed as she led the Helcat, firing its first shots just as the Helcat’s stealth unit reactivated. Fortunately, those shots hit, immediately blowing out the Zoid’s optical camouflage. A sustained burst from the laser Gatling brought down the light Zoid.

“Ye-haw!” Applejack shouted, “One down, two t’ -whoa!” A second Helcat, having foregone ranged combat altogether, landed on the Dark Horn’s back and began clawing at its armor. The Dark Horn bellowed as Rarity’s Zaber Fang went into an odd sort of spinning jump, slamming down next to the Dark Horn.

“Unhand her, you ruffian!” Rarity demanded as her Zaber Fang sank its fangs into the Helcat’s neck. “Or, well, unclaw her? I suppose it’s a moot point now.” She dragged the Helcat off of Applejack’s Dark Horn and shook it back and forth before tossing it into the air. The Helcat crashed down, its legs collapsing beneath it, and did not stand.

“Thank ya kindly, Rarity,” Applejack said, “I think he was tryin’ to dig right to my Zoid Core.”

“He’d have had better luck going for your turret, but I’m relieved he didn’t,” Rarity replied.

“Two down, one to go!” Sunset said, “you’ve got this, girls, just -wait, what?” A loud, synthesized horn note played from the judge capsule.

“The battle is over! The battle is over! Salem Team has forfeited!” The Judge declared. “The winner is… Empyrean Team!”

“Weak!” Rainbow complained. “Forfeiting? Who even does that?”

“Salem Team’s last member must have realized he couldn't defeat all three of our Zoids,” Fluttershy suggested.

“He could’ve tried,” Rainbow grumbled.

“There was a strong financial motivation to forfeit,” Luna pointed out. “They’re already going to have to pay for extensive repairs on two Helcats. Continuing the battle would have only meant adding a third Zoid to the bill.”

“Hey, I don’t care!” Pinkie said, “it still means we won! Let’s party!”

“Good work, everyone,” Celestia said approvingly. “Not many teams can claim to have won their very first battle, especially when the opponents openly make their living by challenging new teams. Applejack, Pinkie, Rarity, I’m moving the Hover Cargo in to pick you up, then we’ll see about that party.” As the Hover Cargo began to move, the judge capsule sealed its door and rocketed into the sky, returning to its Judge Satellite.

Comments

[Europa]

Is that a divide by zero I see? NOOOOO! *dead*

[Skatter]

Not exactly a story per say its all dialogue. More of a movie script or game script.

[SiIver Spoon]

“Salem Team is going to be relying on their experience to overcome our heavier Zoids.” Sunset Shimmer pointed out, “they’ve been fighting -and winning- for years, and this is our first battle, after all. Plus, to be honest, I think they may have some overconfidence problems.”

Woah, woah! I believe you should put the comma after Zoids and a period after Sunset Shimmer pointed out. Finally, Capitalize the first letter of They've.

“And whenever they earn enough points to move up to C-Rank, they re-discover the fact that all their battles against brand-new teams did nothing to prepare them for dealing with other veterans,” Luna added,

Period after "Luna added".

Sunset

How dare you call her Sunset!

“There was a strong financial motivation to forfeit,” Luna pointed out,

Period after "Luna pointed out".

---

After what I have briefly scanned through, I may have looked over some errors. I am leaving a dislike for the misuse of nicknames and misuse of commas. Also, how is this related to Equestria Girls? All you had to do was add the human tag, and people would know they were humans! Which you already did I noticed. Remember periods are also your friends! ~ Silver Spoon

[Bitt_Player]

5310322 My family was in a feud with periods that lasted for generations, it's still hard for us to trust them. My friends they're not.
Or I'm sleep-deprived and making up nonsense excuses for missing all those punctuation errors while specifically checking for punctuation errors, which I do every time I write something. It's uncanny.

[SiIver Spoon]

5310732 Meh, until the edits are made my dislike still stands.

[Bitt_Player]

5310847 I did another punctuation sweep to see if there was anything else I missed. I also decided to take some of the Ozarks out of Applejack's Ozarks accent to make her dialogue easier to read. Calling Sunset Shimmer "Sunset" stands, however. It seems weird to me to be bothered by that, but not by calling Pinkie Pie "Pinkie" or Rainbow Dash "Dash." If that means your dislike also still stands, well, thanks for calling my attention to my grammatical errors.

[Sauron]

5310322

~ Sliver Spoon

Really now?

[SiIver Spoon]

5312503 Oh no! Edit! Edit!! EDIT!!!

[SonicStreak5344]

I know one certain Zoid that is going to appear in this. Liger Zero.