Diary of the Fallen Star

by Piccolo Sky

Book of Corruption

Year of Celestia 998, Late Fall, 1

So much has happened I honestly don’t know where to start…

I mean, I expected Celestia and I were not far from ‘having it out’…but I never expected what happened last night. I don’t want to go through all the details. After all, they hardly matter now. I finally gave her the business, though. Told her how I either deserved to sit in a throne at her side or in a throne higher than hers, and told her to be done with the studies and make me an alicorn princess. Yet her only answer was it was something that I needed to ‘earn’…as if I already hadn’t earned the right a thousand times over…and then she did worse than suspend me. She expelled me. No doubt, she was trying to keep me from my destiny. But like a group of guards could really stop me. And while they may have blocked the exit, I wasn’t interested in leaving the palace. On the contrary…I knew exactly where I wanted to go. And unlike Celestia, I wasn’t afraid to enter the Crystal Mirror and another world…

But nothing could have prepared me for what was on the other side.

I was transformed into a bizarre creature that could only walk on two of its legs and the other legs had been made into odd appendages. My hooves were gone and instead I have little fleshy digits that are two weak for claws but seem great for grasping. I wore clothes now. I was never much for them before, but they seemed to appear on me. My face was crushed smaller…but worst of all, my horn was gone. I couldn’t do magic! And I still can’t! I’m having to write this entry in my diary (which I was lucky enough to bring) with my teeth!

This world is so strange… So bizarre… Everything is artificial. There’s nothing in here like Equestria. No unicorns…no pegasi…no earth ponies…just creatures like what I am…each one looking at me strangely…oddly…

Like those kids back in elementary school…

At first, I thought this world was ‘interesting’…but now that I realize what’s happened…that I have no magic here…I’m scared. Magic was all I had going for me back in Equestria…and here I don’t have any. I seemed to come through the base of this statue with a horse on top of it. I almost went right back through it. I mean…without magic here, how long can I survive? But I remembered what’s back in Equestria waiting for me…so I decided against it. Maybe I’m just ‘adjusting’ to this world…

I have to find someplace safe…

Year of Celestia 999, Midwinter, 2

Well…it looks like I’ll be able to live in this world after all.

I found out in a rather “odd” way…namely by checking out the statue the next day. To my surprise, the portal had closed. It was nothing but solid stone now. I haven’t read enough in the books yet to figure out how…but I soon got a horrible shock when I heard someone say: “Good morning, Principal Celestia!” I looked…and there she was! You see, by now I had seen a reflection of myself, and I realized I still looked at least somewhat like how I did as a unicorn. And one look at that rainbow hair, that crown-shaped tuft on top of her head, and that skin…it was her. I was terrified. She had come after me! And if she knew how to do magic and I didn’t… I hid.

Yet I soon found out that it wasn’t her. Rather, it was this world’s “counterpart” of her. She’s in charge of something called a “high school”…Canterlot High School to be exact. Looking around it and the city a bit I started finding odd creatures that looked like versions of those back in Equestria. Many of them even acted the same way.

Then it all made sense to me. Of course…this is a mirror version of Equestria! Instead of ponies, however, it has these odd creatures walking around on two legs. Unfortunately…it also looks like it doesn’t have magic…

Anyway, I tried to look up “myself” when I found this out. I had a bit of good luck. “My” parents in this world are just as absent as my ones back in Canterlot. They’re off in some whole other country across the ocean half the time. And as for me…”I” ran away months ago and no one’s seen me since. That meant I could just walk right up to the front door, ring the doorbell, and have an odd version of our old servant let me right in.

So…now I have a place to stay and plenty of money and food…so I won’t starve to death or die in the street…

But what now?

Year of Celestia 999, Late Summer, 21

Been a while since I’ve written in this. I’ve learned a lot about this world and my new body. Turns out these two appendages at my sides are pretty useful for doing just about everything. I may not have magic, but they can move anything around. I learned all about how this world works and its social system too. Unfortunately…that’s not all I learned. There’s no magic at all in this world. Which means I might as well be an earth pony.

To be honest…it’s scaring me. I realize I’ve turned back to a lot like my days when I was a filly. Even the servants in the house scare me, and I spend most of the time locked up in my room. Without magic…what am I? I’ve got nothing more than anyone else in this world… Back in Equestria I was nearly an alicorn princess. Here…I’m a nobody. I’m just where I was when I started…

I honestly don’t know what to do. I can’t go back to Equestria…but I’m definitely not going to become an alicorn here. I looked at the book more and I finally found out the mirror won’t open again for another 30 moons. That’s two and a half years! Even if I do go back, nothing’s waiting for me there but Celestia and a bunch of guards…

I’m sure she’d laugh if she could see me now…watch me cry myself to sleep some nights…or hold a pillow close and just rock back and forth sniffling… That stupid mirror tricked me. I can’t live here… I’ll lose my mind…

Worst of all…even my Mom and Dad aren’t here anymore. It’s…lonely.

Very…very…lonely.

Year of Celestia 1000, Late Summer, 29

Oh no…

Early last spring I began to think my only course of action left was to wait until the mirror opened again and go back, but I don’t get that option anymore. Those servants kept pestering me to talk to “Mom and Dad” over some long-distance, non-magical device called a “phone”, and though I tried to keep them in the dark for months, they found out I haven’t been leaving the house and that I missed school last semester. Apparently, all young “humans” (that’s what I am now) have to attend in this world. However, this Fall I have to go to the very “high school” that I arrived at.

I’m scared to death. I keep telling myself the Celestia in this world knows nothing about me…and even if she did she has no magic…but that’s not the half of it. Crammed in a building with plenty of other students…students like my old classmates…calling me names…tormenting me…

I feel so helpless…so vulnerable… I don’t want to go. I curse ever going through this mirror just to be tortured for two and a half years… But there are laws here that force me to go, so I have no choice…

I’m so scared…

Year of Celestia 1000, Early Fall, 14

It’s as bad as I thought.

I’m a nobody here. Worse than a nobody. Everyone flocks to whoever is popular at sports or acting or playing music or any sorts of other things. But there’s no one here for magic…no one except some nerd kids who play with these cards that are about as magical as a pile of dirt. I hate being here and I hate having to hang out with them. I don’t know what to say to them, and in all of the classes I once again know nothing. I’ve actually started a calendar at home to start marking off the days until I get to go back to Equestria…but do I really want to go back?

I don’t know…but lately I find myself looking at the books I brought with me through the portal…

Along with the books on the Crystal Mirror and my diary…I brought my “special” diary. Whenever I wrote in it, Celestia would see what I put in it. I used to use it a lot when I was younger. As I got older and Celestia drove me more and more batty, I stopped writing in it. I had nothing to say to her, after all, and nothing I wanted her to see. But…I never threw it away. Or even kept it off of me. I have no idea why…

Maybe…I should write in it again… As bad as it is and as much as it would invite her to spit in my face…it’d feel good to talk to someone for once…to not be scared of everyone for once…

Year of Celestia 1000, Early Fall, 30

Today was a bit interesting. It seems my classmates have noticed me always sitting by myself and looking down for a bit. Two outcasts like me in particular…this fat one and this thin one. They call themselves “Snips” and “Snails”. They told me one of the teachers told them to visit me because I was a new student and I looked so ‘down’ all the time. I wasn’t interested in what they had to say at first. Their voices were pretty annoying and they rambled about stupid human things…

But then they mentioned that something that would cheer me up and help me make a lot of friends would be to sign up to be Princess of the Fall Formal. Princess…hah. What a laugh. Wearing some cheap crown in the front of a stage for a bunch of students… Some princess. It was almost cruel irony. And what would I need with friends? More people to push me around and point out everything wrong with me? What good was friendship going to do me here? Anyway, they did it without me, and in spite of the fact I can’t stand being near this world’s Celestia I thought I’d revoke the application…

Then I noticed something. There’s this one pony named Sapphire Shores who was the Princess of the Fall Formal last year…and she’s one of the most admired girls in school. Everyone always smiles at her, offers to buy her milk or things from this box called a ‘vending machine’... They always give her the best seat everywhere, and she’s always a hit wherever she goes. Popularity counts for a lot in Equestria…but it counts for much more in this human world. These students in this school seem to care about nothing else. And unlike in my world, Principal Celestia seems to care little about it stopping students from pursuing it. Even having her wayward sister, Vice Principal Luna, at her side doesn’t stop it. And apparently, becoming Princess of the Fall Formal is a quick way to get lots of popularity…

Maybe I’ll ‘go along’ with this. Some popularity would make enduring this world a bit more bearable…

Year of Celestia 1000, Midfall, 6

Winning this competition is going to be a lot harder than I thought. It seems other than “sympathy vote” for being a new student, I’m not looking at many other humans voting for me. Sapphire Shores is already practically a certainty for the next Princess. It seems some of them have been seeing how sad I’ve been looking and have offered to give me more votes out of pity, but it’s not nearly enough…

Well, on a better note, I did discover something these phones could do that I didn't know before. They can connect to something called the “Internet”. The best way to describe it is an all-purpose book. It tells you everything you want to know with a request, and it constantly keeps you updated on everyone…at least with any knowledge that’s public. Nothing like this exists in Equestria even with all the magic we possess. Turns out most of this Internet is on computers. I want to look into it more…

Year of Celestia 1000, Midfall, 13

Joining with the Internet club at school was a cinch. Those nerds are always looking for new members, and I guess they don’t see many attractive girls (I guess by human standards I’m pretty attractive…). They offered to both teach me how to use the Internet while I learn some of the “tricks” of doing things like “html” and “posting videos”. What’s a video? Oh, it’s something that actually captures a snapshot of your life. Again, without magic. Pretty impressive for this world…

Year of Celestia 1000, Midfall, 20

What a breakthrough! Those nerds gave me a stack of handwritten paper to type in for the school online newspaper. Apparently one of the stories was from their last “Green Thumb Day”, and one of the lines I had to enter was “Vice Principal Luna said as she picked a rose.” Just out of curiosity, I wanted to see what would happen if I put in an intentional ‘typo’ and wrote that she “picked a nose”.

Amazing! The next day, everyone was laughing about it up and down the hall! Luna couldn’t go anywhere without a younger student giggling at her! She came right into the newspaper office, red in the face (pretty hard with that blue face…), and said she wanted a retraction printed immediately. The staff quickly went about it and they asked the editor what was the matter with him…but who cares about all that. The point being is that one little typo was enough to make Luna the rear end of a joke throughout the entire school!

This is fantastic… Anyone believes things that get put on the Internet! Even if they don’t, it’s like gossip to the nth degree! A rumor will go around for days…weeks…months…maybe even years!

What a powerful tool.

Not to mention a useful one…

Year of Celestia 1000, Late Fall, 1

Say hello to the newest Princess of the Fall Formal.

I’d like to say it was a challenge, but…

Heh…

There were other students trying out, but apparently that pity vote made me the only real contender. I was still far behind Sapphire Shores. And I didn’t really know enough about this world and “campaign” techniques to get my vote out. Oh, what I gleaned from the computer club was enough to get out a few ads, but nothing really spectacular. Luckily I found out something even better…

Seems Sapphire Shores is the captain of the school’s cheerleading squad. Well, turns out a certain someone with a certain camera phone just happened to film her talking about how she thinks her teammates aren’t always pulling their own weight and how she thinks the football team can be ‘loud, sweaty, and obnoxious’ from time to time while she thought she was alone with a friend in the girl’s locker room. And that video just happened to make its way over the most popular social networking site at the school.

Well, the next day she was facing assaults from both her fellow cheerleaders as well as the football team, and before long both groups were rallying their friends to vote against her in the upcoming Fall Formal election. Not enough to sway everyone mind you…but enough to give yours truly a sizable majority.

I must say…it felt great on that stage in my beautiful gown getting crowned last night. Everyone giving me applause and congratulating me… I wonder if this is what it would have felt like to be an Equestrian princess… I don’t know, but for a few moments…I started to feel like my old self again. The one who was the top at the School and the best in Canterlot.

Although…it did feel a bit odd coming home after all of it was done. I had a bit of a hard time getting to sleep. I kept thinking of that look on Sapphire Shores’ face when she lost…

Pft. Who cares. Should have been as clever as me. Besides, she’ll graduate soon. It’ll be up to me to defend my title from now on.

Year of Celestia 1000, Late Fall, 13

I’ve enjoyed a nice little boost to my reputation since that walk out on stage, but now I need to defend it again. There’s a big history exam coming up. I’ve done rather poorly in it so far… Well, small wonder. I don’t know anything about the history of this world. And there’s no way I can study enough to have the edge on the other students in time. It’ll do me no good to have my new status if I fail out of school…and I can’t have that. Since being crowned princess, everyone knows me. Everyone smiles at me when I pass by. I’m a somebody in this school. I’ve got to keep that up.

There’s one possibility. This one student named Poindexter is pretty brainy. He’s been tutoring a lot of the other students struggling in history. I don’t really need a tutor, though. I could do without having to hang out with him and whatever other kids he’s giving a hand to. I need someone who can ace this test and give me the answers, then make another set of answers just as good that won’t let anyone know I copied off of them. Well…unfortunately it’s not going that well. He told me I can show up after class to get tutored like everyone else. And when I suggested he slip me some answers, he got all in my face about ‘rules’. Ugh…reminds me of Celestia.

But I’ve got to think of a way out of this. I’m actually feeling better again…not those same feelings I always had of feeling like a sore thumb and that I don’t belong in this school… I actually feel like a somebody. I can’t let one stupid test…or letting the students know I have to get tutored like a common dimwit…ruin me. There’s got to be a way…

Year of Celestia 1000, Late Fall, 14

It’s a good thing I keep my eyes open. Turns out Snips and Snails made themselves useful again.

It looks like Poindexter had them over to his house a couple times. They all like the same…what are they called…“video games”. While staying the night one night, they woke up the next morning and found him clutching a stuffed bear! When he woke up he immediately told them never to tell anyone or his life at school would be ruined, but those two rocks-for-brains got a picture of him with their camera phones to get a chuckle before he woke up! And guess what…I got it away from them!

Heh…I think I’m going to 'renegotiate' the terms of our deal now.

Year of Celestia 1000, Late Fall, 15

Looks like I’ve got 100 on my latest history exam. And for that matter, I’m going to be getting an A in history without really trying.

This “Internet” and “social networking” is too much! Now that I have some nitty gritty on Poindexter, he’ll be doing my history homework, reports, and tests for as long as I want, or I’ll make him a school laughingstock by posting this picture of him online. This is nothing like in Equestria. Rumors and slander pass so much more quickly, and I know all the tricks to make sure no one can ever trace them to me.

Snips and Snails… A couple of dim-witted buffoons that everyone, including me, takes for harmless oafs. I bet it won’t be any trouble to pass them around school to all the brainy students and get all the dirt I need to ensure I’ll be the top of the class…

Year of Celestia 1000, Late Winter, 3

Well, with those two idiots botching everything up continuously, it was hard work…but my success at Canterlot High School is assured. No more homework or tests for me. I’ve got the best and brightest doing all my assignments for me. I’m free to just hang out where and when I want in the school. Not like there’s anyone walking the halls like back in Canterlot. I could stay all night in the library if I wanted.

Only problem is it took them forever. They kept bringing me dirt on just about everyone but the students I needed. What in the world am I supposed to do with all of these other photos?

I can ignore that for now, though. I’ve got bigger fish to fry. The Fall Formal is almost forgotten and with it I’m losing my reputation again. I got to find a way to not only keep my standing in the school pecking order but see if I can’t get higher… I don’t want to run the threat of anyone being “above” me.

Year of Celestia 1000, Late Winter, 27

Can’t write long today. I’ve got big trouble. Cherries Jubilee found out about my ‘racket’. That goodie-two-shoes will never keep her mouth shut. I’ve got to think of something and fast…

Wait…I’ve got it. I’ll write more later.

Year of Celestia 1000, Late Winter, 29

Oh, Sunset! How could you be so dense to not think of this before? It’s too easy!

Those idiots gave me everything I need! Why should I confine myself to blackmailing the nerds and geeks of this little school? I’ve got everything I need on everyone else! Snips and Snails got me a photo of Cherries Jubilee sneaking away a whole bucket of her family’s prize cherries that they sell for the most to give away to her boyfriend. And before that, I’ve got a picture of her with her hands still dirty from working all day going through the bins they sell, munching away on the good ones, and getting all sorts of grime and refuse all over the others. Can we say ‘health code violation’? (That’s apparently a thing in this world.)

So…when she tried confronting me yesterday about my little system I have going, I just smiled back and told her: “Have you made sure to wash up well after trying to fling dirt on me, Cherries? It would be such a shame if you touched any type of food with those hands…or your product, for that matter.”

She turned white as a sheet. This morning I had a little meeting with her face-to-face and gave her a offer she couldn't refuse. Either she forgets about seeing anything on my little system I worked so hard to set up, or everyone in town finds out about how those prize cherries they’ve been grumbling about paying for the last month are apparently “free gifts” to certain folks. See how many people are willing to pay those kind of prices then.

That got her put in her place.

I wonder how many others could stand to be put in one as well…

Year of Celestia 1001, Midspring, 7

Seems I’m just plain a genius. I guess it is possible to improve on perfection.

By now I’ve had to get several students “taken care of” to make sure they don’t ruin anything. I figured this would be a good technique to lock in the next Fall Formal…just make sure I remove the competition. However, I should have known I could only threaten so many students to their faces before they started realizing they had a common cause. In particular, Cadance, the star student in the senior class, seemed to find out about how I’d been not only getting other students to do my work but how I also have been blackmailing others to keep quiet. And unfortunately for me, she’s a ‘saint’. Not one bit of mud I could find to throw on her. But she threatened that if I tried, she had her little ‘friends’ to back up refuting any lie I made or story I found.

She had me cornered…but only for a couple days. A new thought came to mind.

There’s another wonderful item in this world called “Photoshop”. And while Snips and Snails may not have given me anything good on her lately, they did manage to get some suggestive photos of her little boyfriend during our school’s junior ROTC…as well as some of her best friend kissing her boyfriend while other friends of Cadance were around. A little manipulation here and there…a few clever edits…an anonymous email with a picture “from a friend”…

Ha! She’s got bigger things to worry about than me now! She and her boyfriend are at each other’s throats and all of their arguing has split her friends right down the middle! She’s so upset over being ‘betrayed’ by them she doesn’t even give me a thought anymore!

And that’s when it hit me…the way to really ‘rule the school’. I should have known it all along. The primary rule of warfare: divide and conquer. All this time I’ve been making enemies blackmailing people, when so long as I just turn them against one another…they’ll be too busy tearing each other apart to care about me!

Snips and Snails were good enough to give me dirt on themselves by accident if I need it, but those two dimwits would follow me into Tartarus and back if I wanted. I’ve got an even better idea where next year I’m going to run the Student Welcoming Committee. I’ll interview each new student as they come in, get all their details I need, and then there won’t be a miserable little human in Canterlot High who I won’t dominate. I’ll be on top with no one else!

Year of Celestia 1001, Late Spring, 1

The mirror opened briefly over the past week. I used the opportunity to duck back into Equestria. Ugh…it felt so good to be able to use magic again, even if only for a little while…and in a sealed, locked, dark room. As if Celestia could really keep me trapped inside…but I figured she was waiting for me to pop out so I held on. To be honest…I thought she might come after me. But it seems without her magic she doesn’t have any power to use against me.

Unlike me, that is.

These silly humans have had all of this power for so long and none of them ever thought to use it. No one crosses me anymore. Anyone who does finds that their former friends end up turning on them, or mysterious incriminating photos and videos surface. It’s the perfect blend… I can’t be traced to anything, but deep down everyone knows I’m behind everything. That keeps me out of trouble while allowing me to have my way or the highway.

Anyway, as soon as I made sure no one was around, I used my old ‘shimmering’ (yup, still got it) to teleport out and start seeing what had changed.

Well, surprise, surprise. I’m sure Celestia replaced me the same day with that purple-maned nerd. Seems her name is Twilight Sparkle. I’d be unhappy enough if that little bookworm was replacing me…but guess what? She got the Elements of Harmony! Including the Magic Element! The element I should have gotten! My talent is magic, after all! Who else deserves it besides me?

It was actually being stored in Canterlot. I tried to get it…but no use. Celestia put her highest power lock on the door to them. I tried to force it, but it seems I’ve got more problems. Nightmare Moon has reverted back into Princess Luna, and now she watches the castle like a hawk at night. It was that little Ms. Smarty-Pants who did it with the Elements. She sensed my magic and I barely teleported away in time…

I was right all along with Celestia being too weak to keep this up if a little unicorn like her can wield the elements and she can’t… But I was thwarted. I tried and tried to think up a way to get the Magic Element but I came up with nothing. And by the time I finally worked out a system for sneaking in and out of Canterlot without being noticed, the week was up! I’m not ready to go back for good yet… Even if I could get my Element it wouldn’t do me any good with two alicorns waiting for me in Canterlot…

I need a plan…and it seems I have two and half years to think one up.

Year of Celestia 1001, Late Fall, 1

Princess of the Fall Formal again. Who knew? Oh…I’m sure the fact that my competitors felt the sudden need to drop out the week before had something to do with it… One only needed to have their main pep rally that offered free pizza end up being a ‘no show’…like she had never planned on throwing one in the first place...and left half the student body hungry and sore. The other was a bit more work, but after a touch of ‘proof’ of the candidate looking off of a friend’s exam, courtesy of a touch of forgery, Luna disqualified them.

Not too many looks of applause and cheers this time. Pft…as if I really care. I’m more than just the princess of a silly little beauty pageant and they all know it. I’m princess of this school. I’ve got everything all worked out. Everything set up to frustrate any group that tries to gang up on me. And they know that so well that I can walk about the school doing what I want, when I want. Everyone takes whatever I give them and no one dares tell me no. The best part is my grade and the freshman grade already know who’s boss around here and gives me either looks of respect or fear when I come around. The juniors and seniors know when to leave well enough alone…but soon they’ll be gone and then I’ll really run the show.

In the meantime, I found this great black leather jacket. To think, it’s made from cows in this world. I suppose I should be a little freaked out…but it suits me well. I feel ‘bigger’ wearing it…like it’s a symbol of authority.

Year of Celestia 1001, Early Winter, 13

Added another nice little “notch” in my belt today. Guess who’s going out with the star sophomore at Canterlot High School? I never was much of the ‘dating’ type. To be honest, I think he smells entirely too much after each practice no matter how much he bathes. But who cares? He’s the biggest athlete in school right now that everyone is counting on to bring home a whole deal of trophies to the Wondercolts over the next two years, and one of the most popular girls in school dated him before I did.

Well, heh, “former” most popular girl. I guess I’ll have to be taking that spot now. To think, I only had to get her classes talking about how oversized her nose was for a couple weeks and soon she was obsessing so much over it that she broke off things with Flash Sentry. And now I’ve got a nice little trophy of my own to let the other girls know who’s hot and who’s not…

Year of Celestia 1002, Early Spring, 16

I don’t even have to wait until next year. I found out there was little point to just waiting around for more enemies to try and gang up on me. I decided so long as I run this little microcosm, it aught to do what I say when I say it. So I launched some “pre-emptive” strikes. After all, I’m more than clever enough to know who’s a potential threat and who shouldn’t be paired with whom. So I started using all those phone records I’ve been collecting from new students and that are in the school database to start setting everyone against each other. If their little worthless thoughts about ‘friendship’ were really so powerful, it wouldn’t be so easy to make everyone start distrusting everyone else. It's not hard at all. Tell that ‘friend’ that someone’s tryouts were cancelled… Tell that ‘friend’ that they want them to pay for the upcoming play date… Tell that ‘friend’ that they’re skipping out on decorating for an amusement park…

And now, all my little puppets are dancing wonderfully for me. The only one who still has any power in this school is me. I own Canterlot High School. I’ve nothing to fear from anyone. Even without magic, I’m the biggest and the best in this little world!

Yet I must have overlooked something somewhere… I had to have. Because I still get that stupid feeling some nights in bed… I shouldn’t be afraid that I’m alone. Who can threaten me now, after all? I’ve taken care of everything!

But…I still don’t feel right…

Year of Celestia 1002, Late Fall, 1

Princess of the Fall Formal again. No one cheered, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying it. It might as well have been a real crown now that I’m the biggest person in school. It wouldn’t be anything to become the biggest shot in this world for that matter.

But that feeling…it won’t go away!

And I think I know why at last…

Of course I’m not safe yet or a big shot yet. Who cares if you rule over a bunch of meaningless, magicless humans? Who cares if I’m the greatest of all of them? It doesn’t matter so long as there’s a whole world on the other side of that statue of magic-wielding unicorns! That’s what I need…magic. I have to find a way to get my magic back! Think of it! If I could get my power back, I wouldn’t need to rely on these phones and computers… I’d rule this world in a heartbeat! I could make anyone in this world do anything I wanted, not just scurry out of my way and to say ‘thank you, ma’am, may I please have another’ when I kick them in the pants!

Even have them help me get the crown I really deserve in the world I really am meant to rule…

Year of Celestia 1002, Late Winter, 14

Ugh, I’m furious! Am I slipping?

Flash broke up with me! And not only did he break up with me, he did so in front of the entire football squad! They spread the news everywhere! Now everyone knows about it! I’m supposed to be the head of this school! The biggest and the best! And he humiliated me with his little rant about how I’m so selfish and mean-spirited! I got out of there as fast as I could… I couldn’t risk him doing any more damage…

Oh, I’ll make him pay. Every last member of his teammates is going to look to knife him in the back before I’m done. No one insults Sunset Shimmer! NO ONE!

This is my fault for taking him as a trophy in the first place, though. I should have known all along… By having him as my boyfriend he was spared my wrath and power. It let him get too confident and full of himself… Won’t make that mistake again…

Remember, Sunset…all this ‘friendship’ stuff is for the weak.

Year of Celestia 1003, Late Spring, 18

Thank goodness school is out for the year. I can’t stand those miserable little nothings anymore. I can’t stand running that worthless human school anymore. All of this work and stress to constantly make sure I stay on top… It’s driving me mad!

All day every day I’m putting people in their place, keeping them from getting too uppity, and, most of all, looking for anyone who’s trying to “pair up” and making sure I drive some wedges between them. I don’t even know if I’m being paranoid now. I have no real threats to my dominion of this social system. And yet…I feel scared…even, I swear, hurt some times whenever I see a few of the freshmen talking with each other. It actually infuriates me…fills me with rage. Why? Do I really have anything to fear from a bunch of know-nothing simpletons? I’m the cleverest, the smartest, the prettiest, and just all around the best student in Canterlot High School! I’m finally the princess I deserved to be!

So why do I keep feeling this way?

It’s my magic. It has to be my magic. There’s nothing else I lack! I’m tired of just being able to push talentless idiots around! I’m tired of being confined to this stupid body! I want my magic…my power! I’ve got to find a way…

Year of Celestia 1003, Midsummer, 22

I have to have it… I have to have what’s mine…

The feelings are only growing worse. I can’t believe it! Even now that I’m out of school and no longer have to deal with those stupid smiling faces and moronic giggling anymore…I feel worse than ever! I feel so hollow…so empty! It’s making me…ugh! I don’t know! It’s making me feel weak! But why in the world am I feeling worse when no one is around? I should feel better than ever when I don’t have to keep those dummies in line!

I’ve got to have my magic back… I’ve got to! It’s not just a matter of putting me in my rightful place! It’s not just a matter of taking back what was always mine to begin with! I need it! I feel like I can’t go on without it! Like I’m missing something otherwise!

Think, Sunset! The portal is about to open again… If I could get that Magic Element of Harmony, I’d have all the power I needed and more! I’d finally become what that mirror showed me! A princess! The greatest princess! The ruler of this miserable world as well as my own!

But how? HOW?!

Year of Celestia, 1003, Midfall, 24

How dare she!

What is this…some kind of divine comedy? That little bookworm became an alicorn princess?! For what?! Pulling all nighters?!

No…because she ‘made friends’! You’ve got to be joking! This is the real reason I couldn’t become one? Because of some worthless, meaningless, pathetic, childish emotion that makes you feel ‘warm and fuzzy inside’?!

None of you stupid fools know anything! What makes you a ruler…the only thing that makes you a ruler…is power! Friendship means nothing in the face of raw might and magic! Friendship? Ha! Look what ‘friendship’ has gotten the people of this world over the past few years? Something that’s so easy to break apart and grind into dust, and you’re trying to tell me such a worthless thing makes you a princess?

Well, enjoy your short-lived reign while you can, ‘Princess’ Twilight Sparkle. I learned enough from my latest visit to know exactly what I need to do in order to make myself a real princess…

One strong enough to rid Equestria of all others besides me.

Year of Celestia, 1003, Midfall, 27

Everything’s ready. My clothes vanish when I go into Equestria, but I managed to scare up a black cloak to help keep me hidden that seems to stay intact while going between worlds. There’s a “time difference”…so the only shot I’ll have is during the morning hours at Canterlot High School. It’ll be the middle of the night in Equestria then.

This will be perfect. Celestia had the Crystal Mirror moved toward the newly reinstated Crystal Empire. How? Who knows, who cares. It’s enough to know that our ‘widdle pwincess’ is going to be there for her first royal summit. But most importantly, she had the Magic Element of Harmony fashioned into her crown. Heh…smart move. After all, as the true bearer of the Magic Element of Harmony, and the true alicorn princess, I’d like both symbols combined in one.

As luck would have it, the crown bears a striking resemblance to the crown of the Princess of the Fall Formal. Good. Saves me the trouble of getting a dummy. Principal Celestia’s office is always unlocked. I’ll pop in early this morning, grab the crown, take it with me through the portal, swap it while our precious princess is getting her beauty sleep, and then head back to this world with no one the wiser. Finally…I’ll have my magic back!

Only one minor hitch to all of this. The portal will still be open for a few days… If I’m found out, anyone from Equestria can follow me through the mirror. But no worries. With the Magic Element of Harmony in my possession, I’ll be the only one in this world who can use magic. No one will stand a chance against me. But just to be safe…it’ll take them a while to realize there’s a dummy crown there. I’ll be long gone and they’ll be searching Equestria looking for it and turning up nada.

This morning…everything is going to change…

Year of Celestia, 1003, Midfall 28

That stupid, reclusive, animal-loving twit! I'll smack her over the head with her own stupid rabbit! She ruined everything!

Well…her and that baby dragon… Who in the world keeps a dragon as a pet? Apparently, our widdle pwincess does. I nearly made a clean getaway with the Magic Element of Harmony when the little beast tripped me with his tail. He woke up and caused me to stumble, and before I knew it, it was the night I went into the Crystal Mirror all over again. I didn’t have time to waste and I ran for the mirror as fast as I could before Celestia and Luna could intervene. Of course, the little bookworm tried to stop me… I’ll admit she’s not bad, but I’m the real alicorn-to-be here, and I’m better. Little twit couldn’t even use her new wings right.

Still…she managed to get the Magic Element of Harmony knocked into the mirror before me. I was right on its heels…but as soon as I was back in I saw it was gone! After only ten minutes of looking, I found that stupid nature-lover had picked it up and turned it into Principal Celestia! Dang it…she thought it was the crown for the Fall Formal!

I nearly flushed her simpering, pink-haired head down the nearest toilet for that…but I got enough just making her start crying in public. She makes this a little too easy, after all. I’ll make sure she pays for this a bit more as soon as first period ends.

After all, I’ve got to do something to calm down after the hang-up this morning. Besides, I only have to endure three more days. So Principal Celestia thinks it’s the crown, eh? Well then…that means it’s going to be mine by default anyway when the Fall Formal gets here.

Addition

Oh, this is too rich!

I go back to start making the nature child suffer for sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, and I hear a sound I haven’t heard in quite a while…someone stupid enough to tell me to stop. And guess who it might be? Our widdle pwincess! Ha! So…this is who Celestia sends to stop me? Please…it wouldn’t matter who came in here now. It took me months to master this world, whereas ‘Princess’ Twilight doesn’t even know when to act like a pony and when to act like a human! What a joke! I can only hope she stays here until the portal’s closed. It’ll bring a smile to my face seeing her struggling not to walk on all fours from now on…

But get this… She actually thinks she is going to beat me at my own game! What a laugh! I guess all of this ‘friendship’ has rotted her brain or she might risk getting the crown back after school hours. She might actually have a chance then. But oh no…not her. She's going to try and be Princess of the Fall Formal! Her! Ms. Still-Writes-Messages-With-Her-Teeth! Yeah, heh…have fun getting used to that, ‘your highness’…

She’ll be the easiest mark I’ve done in months. By this time tomorrow the only time her name is going to be mentioned at Canterlot High School is in asking if she's the one who needs to ride the ‘special’ bus home from school.

Oh that’s right…she doesn’t really have a home to go to in this world, does she? Try the back alley, ‘your highness’. Maybe there’s a rat you can use for a pillow back there…

Year of Celestia, 1003, Midfall, 29

Aw, what’s wrong, ‘widdle pwincess’? Having trouble getting some support? And here I thought the ‘power of friendship’ was supposed to conquer anything?

Looks like I’m a shoe-in for Princess of the Fall Formal again. Oh, Twilight’s the talk of Canterlot High School, alright… I don’t think anyone’s seen anything so hilarious as her pathetic attempts to act human in years! It took me months to finally get it down! And she thinks she’s going to beat me in three days?

Sorry…two days.

Oh, I hope you do ‘stay on’ after the mirror closes, Twilight…because I’m not finished with you. Not by a mile. Especially since it looks like you did manage to win a single small victory over me… For some reason Flash is hanging all over you… Well, so much the better. I can make both of you crash together and then grind you into the dirt after this…

Or maybe I’ll just leave you in this world. Tomorrow’s my last day at this wretched school, after all…

Year of Celestia, 1003, Midfall, 30

That wretched brat! I can’t believe this! It’s impossible!

No…stay calm, Sunset. This is just a vain, worthless attempt, after all… The last act of a desperate nothing…

I had those five pegged ever since their freshmen year as girls I needed to keep away from each other. Ever since they had that sickening little photo taken. And I’ve taken great pride in how I managed to keep a wedge in between them for this long. Not sure why…only that I had a feeling that it’d be trouble if I didn’t… Turns out I was more that right. ‘Her highness’ managed to actually get them back together…and in just two days!

Together they put on some stupid little song and dance using old Wondercolt pep rally materials to actually try to get some votes together for her… Oh, the irony…looking so much like back in Equestria… I thought I’d watch just to see how much of a laugh I could get from the whole thing…and, truth be told, it was one of the dumber stunts I’d ever seen…

But some of the students seemed to like it. In fact, more than some. A lot. And I don’t know if she somehow managed to bring some Equestrian magic into this world with her…but in spite of all of my years of planning and work, a number of students I had pegged on making sure they never even looked at each other again were actually talking and laughing together…

In fact…most of them were…

How in the world is she doing that? These people have been enemies for years! I made sure of that! And anytime they got close I made sure to take care of it before they could bond together! Weeks…months of planning went into this! Yet she’s getting them to ‘break down’ after two days and a little song and dance? That can’t be! She had to use magic…but I couldn’t see any coming from her! How?

It wasn’t honestly that ‘friendship’ she’s supposed to embody, was it? No one can tell me such a stupid thing was actually responsible! That’s the only more impossible thing about this drivel!

...Right? I mean…how else could she have undone everything I’ve…

This is stupid! Now she’s starting to make me think her stupid little namby-pamby feelings are worth something!

Well Twilight, it’s too little, too late. I had a plan B in mind all along just in case you tried something like this. Now you get to see what it means to be my enemy…

Addition

I won’t let this happen! I WON’T! I’ve worked too hard for five years to let this imposter of a princess take it from me! I swear I’ll make you pay for this, Flash!

I had everything ready! I used the photos of Twilight Sparkle from yesterday properly doctored and had Snips and Snails trash the dance hall. With a little editing work, it looked just like the widdle pwincess had vandalized the whole thing. I turned in the photos to Vice Principal Luna along with a ‘big, sad eyes routine’, and that was supposed to be the end of that...

But thanks to a gang of morons, everything went to heck! They didn’t get rid of the photo originals like I told them too! And guess who found them…Flash Sentry! He turned them in and cleared Twilight’s name so she’s still in the running! Not only that, whatever she did in the cafeteria is turning infectious… It’s spreading through the school! People are actually starting to give me dirty looks without fear! Starting to avoid me in the halls… Meanwhile they’re talking more and more about her! If they really all vote for her…then I’ve no chance of winning! I can’t intimidate all of them in one shot!

I’m losing it… I’m losing my control here! And all because of that stupid unicorn! I’ve worked for years to control this world! She is not going to stop me when I’m so close to victory! I can’t now! I have to have that Element! And I will if it kills me!

I do owe Twilight one thing. She’s so eager to get back before midnight tonight that she and those new friends of hers put the dance hall back together in a flash. Snips and Snails trashed it too badly… They nearly got the dance cancelled! If that happens, I lose too!

Well…no worries. Even if she manages to win Princess of the Fall Formal, that’s not going to change a thing. You would think after meeting me she would realize that I don’t ‘play by the rules’. I do whatever it takes to win. I don’t bother with competitions or votes…I see what I want and I take it. I’ll have that crown tonight one way or another no matter who gets crowned on stage. And when I do, I’ll be the one and only true princess of this world and Equestria.

Then I’ll take what I really want… These students may be useless here, but with the power of the Magic Element of Harmony, I can make them my slaves and lead them into Equestria. Some will be useless earth ponies, but I’m sure some will become pegasi and unicorns. I’ll have my own army ready to take Canterlot and Equestria by force. And then I’ll finally, finally fulfill the prophecy of the Crystal Mirror and get what I ALWAYS deserved…

Year of Celestia 1003, Late Fall, 1

I’m…honestly…still very shaken up after everything that happened last night… I don’t know who or what I am anymore…and when I try to think of something…I’m scared…

I’ll try to explain… It…all started…when I had Snips and Snails take Spike. Spike’s Twilight Sparkle’s dragon…turned into a dog in this world…and I tried to

I’m sorry…I still don’t like remembering it…even if it’s all over… It feels a lot like it’s just begun… Let’s just say I ended up getting the Magic Element of Harmony…the thing I thought I wanted…the thing I thought I needed…and…

I don’t know what to be scared of more. What happened when I put it on…or the fact that…that…oh Celestia…I remember how much I enjoyed it… It’s making me cry thinking about it…

I really, really don’t want to write down what I did next…or think about what I would have done if I wasn’t stopped… It feels like I was living a nightmare now. It didn’t at the time. It just…just felt…horribly ‘good’ before… I would have killed Twilight Sparkle and the girls with her…I would have conquered Equestria… I would have become the ‘greatest princess’ like I thought I wanted to be…

I don’t know how…and after what she told me, I don’t think I’ll ever know how…but let’s just say I saw the power of the Elements of Harmony and the magic of friendship that Princess Celestia tried so hard to show me for so long ‘firsthand’…

What was it like to get struck by the Elements of Harmony? It’s…honestly impossible to describe. Did it hurt? I can’t answer that… Does it hurt when a caterpillar breaks open the chrysalis that used to be its skin to become a butterfly? Or does it hurt when a seed breaks itself open to start something growing on the other side? I don’t know if it does or it doesn’t…but it felt like that…

But what it felt like most of all…was that for years I had been lost in an endless nightmare, and suddenly I had a bucket of ice water thrown in my face.

I could feel it…feel what those six managed to build in just three days. Felt every bit of joy they had with each other…every moment of happiness…everything they had built just by sharing themselves with each other. Is that what friendship feels like? I don’t know, but…it felt so warm…so ‘full’… It was scary…even ached…but it filled me from top to bottom, and when it was done…it was like I had been in a car wreck…

I felt what friendship was really like for the first time. It was only for a few seconds…but…it felt so strong…so light… As long as I could remember I thought it meant nothing. That it was just a word. But…it was overwhelming… It was like I spent my whole life in a dark cave and I was offered a glimpse of the sky and sun…and even though I went back nothing was the same anymore…

All of my hate…all of my greed…all of my anger…it seemed so small now…so petty… It melted away like ice in the sun…and I saw what was beneath it…what’s always been beneath it since the day Princess Celestia brought me into school…

A scared, shy, timid little filly.

I thought I was meant to rule. I thought I was meant to have power and be a princess…an alicorn…a ruler of Equestria. But I was wrong. I wanted all those things because I never believed in anyone. Not anyone else…not myself. All I ever was in this world was scared. Scared of everyone and everything. Scared that anyone I ran into would hurt me. That they’d make me feel small and helpless. And when I found out ways that made me feel stronger than them…that I couldn’t be hurt by them…I had to have more. That’s why I wanted magic so badly. I thought if I was the best, no one could make me feel scared and afraid.

And it became an addiction. I had to have more power, more control… I had to be able to keep everyone below me. Because if someone was bigger than me, then I’d never be ‘safe’. I saw each and every pony and person as an enemy. Someone to fear. So I made them hurt and suffer so that they couldn’t hurt me.

I’m horrible… Sitting in that hole, covered with dirt, without any power or authority left…I saw the truth. Twilight was right… Oh Celestia…she was right. When I turned into that ‘thing’…it wasn’t the Magic Element of Harmony that made me that. It was me. It was what was inside me all along…who I really was…

A horrible, wretched, greedy, twisted monster…

I’m all alone again… I’m helpless again… And now…now I know I deserve to be this way. I’m just a terrible little troll…

I remember what she told me… I could either seek out friendship or I could be alone forever… I know now that’s what scares me to death more than anything…that I’ll be alone forever. And now…now I’ve all but ensured it.

I don’t know anything about friendship…and I haven’t learned after all this time. What if I can’t learn anything about friendship? What if I do spend forever alone?

I’m so scared…so scared…

Author's Note:

Yes, Sunset Shimmer keeps using Equestrian dates. I figured she'd use those instead of whatever dates are in the human world, especially in her diary to keep things "straight".

(EDIT 10/4/2015): I removed a single name in order to make this story flush with the recent "Friendship Games" entry, as well as to work with my upcoming entry.

Comments

[Csquared08]

What a laugh! I guess all of this ‘frienship’

You accidentally a letter.

This was... This was pretty great. Again, the development of Sunset from start to finish was handled wonderfully. It all flowed together so well.

[MLai]

I don't like how you had her start out as a bully victim in the previous chapter, but this chapter is pretty great and I've got no criticism of your portrayal of her.
IMO, she was never a victim. Just like Diamond Tiara was never a victim. She doesn't need an excuse.