The Price, Paid
Scootaloo stood alone, a dull grey mist swirling all around her. The mist seemed oddly familiar, as if she had seen it before. Scootaloo looked about, straining her eyes as she attempted to peer deeper into the dense fog, attempting to locate something, anything. There was nothing, no one, not even a blade of grass or a small pebble to be found anywhere. Just the same unrelenting, dense mist that swirled lazily as if some tiny breeze had caught a hold of it, yet there was no breeze. Suddenly, Scootaloo felt a wet feeling around her left ear. At first, it was secluded, but it slowly began to spread.
"Great, is it raining?" Scootaloo muttered, looking up at what she presumed to be the sky. Above her was only the same dense fog. Lifting her hoof up to rub that side of her head, Scootaloo observed what it was that was beginning to soak her mane. Her hoof was stained a dark crimson, the liquid oddly warm. Scootaloo's eyes grew wide as she realized she was bleeding, the blood leaking down from the side of her head, staining her mane and coat as it did so. Then it hit her.
"Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo shouted. She looked about frantically, the soft silhouette of the same large tree now visible as she looked more closely. Scootaloo hopped to her hooves, her left leg aching once more, but holding her weight now.
"Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo screamed, desperately looking around, searching for any sign of her. Feathers littered the ground, though the mist seem to have sapped the color out of everything but Scootaloo, making her unsure if the feathers were hers or Rainbow's.
Suddenly, the mist to Scootaloo's left shifted unusually, the fog beginning to thin as if it were parting. There was the outline of a pony approaching, wings spread wide and proud. The figure stopped just on the other side of what little fog remained, seemingly staring at her, wordlessly. Scootaloo just returned that same silent gaze. Was it Rainbow Dash? If it was, what would Scootaloo say? It had been her who forced Rainbow Dash back up into the air after she had stated she was not feeling well. Did she even have the right to talk to her anymore?
"R-Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo called out cautiously, taking only a single step towards the dark figure.
"No, Scootaloo. I am not she," Came a different, but equally familiar voice. The fog finally parted as the figure moved even closer. Princess Luna was now completely visible, the fog that had been pressing in on Scootaloo now drifting a ways away from the duo.
"Princess Luna? But, if you are here, does this mean..?" Scootaloo trailed off, hoping her hunch was spot on.
"Yes, Scootaloo, this is indeed a dream. You have been asleep for quite some time now, following the accident," Luna said, kneeling down now to more properly look Scootaloo in the eye. Scootaloo's heart sank and despite knowing in the answer already, she asked anyway.
"Accident?" Scootaloo asked, her voice all but gone now.
"Yes, Scootaloo. The accident with you and Rainbow Dash. Do you remember it?" Luna asked, a calm and concerned look in her eye.
"I- I remember most of it I think. Is, Rainbow Dash alright?" Scootaloo asked, knowing very well how the answer could turn out.
"She is alive. Like you, however, she has been asleep for some time," Luna answered, looking Scootaloo dead in the eye. Her words were truthful, and Scootaloo let out a relieved sigh.
"And what about me? You said I have been sleeping, for how long?" Scootaloo asked.
"The accident happened about a week ago," Luna said. Her words shocked Scootaloo. A whole week? How bad had the damage been?
"Am I alright?" Scootaloo asked. She was far less concerned about herself than she was about Rainbow Dash, but she still feel the urge to ask.
"You and Rainbow Dash will both be fine, thanks to Twilight Sparkle and my sister. They both worked hard to heal your wounds physically. Now I am here to help you heal mentally. Tell me, Scootaloo, have you seen this place before?" Luna asked, motioning around Scootaloo. Once more, any sign of landscape had returned to the same grey mist. Scootaloo chanced a look at her hoof, noticing the blood was no longer there.
"I-..." Scootaloo started to say. She thought back to the lies she had told to Rainbow Dash and the Crusaders. Should she lie again? Would she be able to lie? Scootaloo swallowed hard. She would have to face this.
"I have, but only once before," Scootaloo answered honestly. Princess Luna's eyes dropped, her ears pressing against her skull. Scootaloo could tell she had just said something that Luna was hoping not to hear.
"I, as well, have seen this same bleak landscape before. Long ago. Tell me Scootaloo, did somepony, or something, offer you anything while you were here?" Luna asked, looking at Scootaloo with a serious and apologetic air.
"Yes. They offered me the ability to fly, at the cost of my cutie mark," Scootaloo said, adverting her gaze.
"I know of this entity. I too was once swayed by its words," Luna said, standing now. Scootaloo began to connect the dots now.
"Nightmare Moon..." Scootaloo muttered, looking up at Luna.
"That is correct. Tell me, Scootaloo. Did this figure ever specifically say that it would take your cutie mark?" Luna asked. Scootaloo almost instantly answered 'yes', but then she thought back at what she had been told, the memories coming much clearer than they had when she was awake.
'I cannot say the exact price, but you must give up something of value to you,' The words echoed through Scootaloo's head. She sat down, stunned by how she could have overlooked such an obvious detail.
"I too was tempted. I was told that recognition would be mine, that everypony would know my name. I mistook its words as meaning that doing so would cost me my right to rule. I was mistaken," Princess Luna said. Scootaloo thought about what she had said for a moment.
"Instead, everypony did know your name, as Nightmare Moon," Scootaloo said to herself, though it seemed Luna overheard her.
"And the cost was nearly my sister. Only the full power of the Elements of Harmony were strong enough to break that curse," Luna said, looking to Scootaloo with sadness in her eyes.
"But alas, the Elements are no more. Without them, I know of no way to lift the curse. I have something I need to tell you Scootaloo," Luna said, pausing for just a moment before looking to Scootaloo with a serious tone.
"What is it?" Scootaloo asked, afraid of what she was going to hear. Already all of what Luna had said had yet to sink in, though she had a general idea of what it all meant.
"Twilight Sparkle looked at Rainbow Dash. According to her, something had robbed Rainbow Dash of her flight before she fell, and that it had been eating away at her for some time before. Tell me this, what was the one thing you wanted most in this world?" Luna asked. Scootaloo sat, stunned. She knew now what 'The Price' was for her flight.
"I always wanted nothing more than to fly with Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo answered, still a bit shocked at all of the sudden revelations.
"I fear that may never come to pass now. Rainbow Dash has had her flight stolen from her," Luna said, closing her eyes and dropping her head a bit.
"Luna, please tell me. How do I fix this? How do I return things to the way they were before? I can't steal Rainbow Dash's flight! Not her," Scootaloo pleaded as tears began to well in her eyes.
"I do not know, Scootaloo. Such in the curse of those who have sought things beyond their own ability," Luna said, reopening her eyes but not looking to Scootaloo.
"There has to be some way. ANY way!" Scootaloo pressed, moving closer to Luna and entering her line of vision to look her in the eyes. What Scootaloo saw then surprised her. Princess Luna made no attempt to look away this time, tears welling up in her own eyes.
"I cannot help you with this, Scootaloo. This is the same magic that nearly killed my sister. I was powerless against it," Luna said, facing Scootaloo properly once more. Her wings were no longer spread proudly, but folded tightly against her sides, almost as if she were embracing herself.
"Luna, I'm sorry. I am just scared. I don't know what to do, and I lied, and, and... And I am a horrible pony," Scootaloo said, tear beginning to stream down her face now, the reality of the situation finally setting in. Suddenly, Scootaloo was enveloped in warmth as Luna embraced her.
"It is I who is sorry, Scootaloo. I should have been able to notice the creature entering your dreams. I failed to protect you, and now you bare the same curse I do. If it were within my power, I would do anything to help you," Luna said, a few tears marking her cheeks as well now.
Scootaloo returned Luna's embrace as the two of them sat together in silence, crying. They must have stayed like that for a while, and even after Luna's tears had dried, Scootaloo's fur was stained with fresh tears. Scootaloo thought of Rainbow Dash, and how she almost always seemed to have a smile on her face, how she was so proud of her flying ability, and even about the time they had spent together. Had all that time been a lie? Scootaloo had spent the entire day flying with the very pony she was taking such a precious gift from. By the time Scootaloo had finally stopped crying, Luna spoke once more.
"I can understand your feeling Scootaloo, but I am not sure this can be fixed. You may have to learn to live with what you have done. Do you believe yourself able to do such?" Luna asked, moving way a bit to look at Scootaloo's face.
"I am not the only one that would have to live with this curse," Scootaloo said, averting her gaze from Luna's. Luna chose to merely look the other direction, knowing not what to say to cheer the filly up.
"What happens now?" Scootaloo asked.
"Seeing as your physical body has all but healed, Twilight Sparkle and my sister will no doubt wake you upon my return. They had kept you and Rainbow Dash asleep with spells to ensure you heal properly," Luna said, looking at Scootaloo once more before speaking again.
"Nopony else knows of this curse, nor will I tell them Scootaloo. Such will be upon you to decide when, and what, you tell them," Luna said, moving away from Scootaloo as she began to fade from view.
"I bid the luck, Scootaloo. May all the power of your friends guide you, and Rainbow Dash," Luna said, fading more with each word before finally disappearing and leaving Scootaloo sitting alone.
The world was black once more, and Scootaloo could feel a new warmth. She cracked her eyes open just a bit and was assaulted by a strong light, causing her to shield her eyes as she began to stir. There were various sounds all around Scootaloo as the world began to shift into focus, the pain from the glaring lights fading.
"Scootaloo, you are awake. Did you talk with Princess Luna?" Scootaloo could faintly hear the voice of Twilight ask. Scootaloo shifted her vision to rest upon her.
"I did, and I know what happened," Scootaloo answered, her voice raspy, and dry. Twilight, who was standing to her left, sat down now, a somewhat relieved look in her eyes, though it was obvious that she was still on edge.
"I hate to ask so soon after you have woken up, but... What happened in the park? Fluttershy said she was having a picnic when one of her bluejays flew over at motioned to the sky, where apparently you and Rainbow Dash were falling," Twilight explained, also implying how Scootaloo and Rainbow had ended up at the hospital.
"Rainbow Dash, she was teaching me how to fly when she suddenly started falling. I tried to catch her, but..." Scootaloo said, trailing off to look to her right. The world was becoming properly focused by this time, as her senses returned to her, only a dull ache in her head was any indication that she had ever fallen. A few feet away from here, there was another bed where she could see Rainbow. She was covered in bandages in a few places, namely her wings, and was still asleep. She wore a peaceful expression as she slumbered quietly, her chest rising and falling to a slow rhythm.
"Flying? But Scootaloo, you have never been able to fly before now. How?" Twilight asked, shifting her focus to Scootaloo's wings, which appeared to have grown even more though her sleep, though since they had been pinned against her thanks to the covers on the hospital bed, it appeared to have escaped her notice.
"I-" Scootaloo started to say. The conversation with Princess Luna reentered her mind before she spoke. She was afflicted by a curse that supposedly only the Elements of Harmony could undo, but now the Elements were sealed once again in the Tree of Harmony. Scootaloo stopped to think for a moment, weighing her options as Twilight continued to peer at her wings, too engrossed in her own theories to take much notice of Scootaloo's prolonged silence.
'What good would it do me to tell her? Even if we managed to get the Elements of Harmony back somehow, Rainbow Dash is still asleep' Scootaloo thought as she looked away from Twilight.
'No, I caused all of this with my selfish wish. I have to be the one to fix this. I have to fix this!' Scootaloo assured herself as she looked back at Twilight. She recounted the story she had told to the Crusaders and Rainbow nearly word for word, the lie coming easier than ever this time, as if she almost believed it herself. Twilight sat quietly the entire time. If anypony would sniff out any inconstancy in her story, it would be Twilight.
"A zebra was it? I do recall Zecora mentioning something about a few rare ingredients growing in the Everfree Forest, though I never thought another zebra would travel so far for them," Twilight spoke, pondering the story she had just heard.
"Do you remember anything about the potion, Scootaloo? Color, taste, anything?" Twilight asked. Scootaloo shook her head before speaking.
"The bottle was black, I never saw what liquid was inside. As for taste, it was like water, nothing much to it," Scootaloo said, hoping Twilight would continue to believe her. Twilight sighed a long heavy sigh as she glanced over to Rainbow Dash.
"I was hoping to find a link between your ability to fly and what happened to Rainbow, but this is far to strange to be connected," Twilight said, her words catching Scootaloo's attention. She needed to confirm something.
"What's happening to Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo asked. For a moment Twilight remained silent, no doubt thinking about if it was right to tell Scootaloo or not. After a moment her ears drooped as she looked over to Scootaloo.
"To be honest, I have no idea. It is if something if feeding on Rainbow Dash's strength. Her wings are withering, slowly but surely," Twilight explained, looking back over to Rainbow Dash again. Before Scootaloo could say anything, Twilight moved over to Scootaloo.
"I am sorry Scootaloo... It will still be a little while before I can wake Rainbow Dash, and even when I do I don't think she will be able to fly anymore. I hate to do this, but can I ask something of you?" Twilight asked, the sad and serious look on her face told Scootaloo this was something to at least hear her out on.
"Of course, what is it?" Scootaloo asked, genuinely unsure of what was about to be asked of her.
"Could you help to look after Rainbow and help her with her chores for a few days while I research a cure, or at least a temporary fix for her wings? Fluttershy already offered to help while you are at school, but she still needs to take care of her animals and I don't know of another pegasus I can trust to help her with this," Twilight explained. Scootaloo sat and listened intently, Twilight's last few words sending an icy dagger through her heart, sending a cold chill down her spine.
'Twilight trusts me that much?' Scootaloo thought, feeling an incredible ping of guilt. She did her best to shake off the feeling.
'No, no. I cannot dump all of my problems on Twilight! She has enough to think about without me telling her this is some sort of irreversible curse,' Scootaloo reaffirmed as she looked to Twilight.
"Of course, Twilight. I will do whatever I can to help Rainbow Dash until she recovers!" Scootaloo said with as much confidence as she could muster. Twilight gave a soft smile to Scootaloo now, which only made her heart ache that much more.
"That at least is a relief. Thank you, Scootaloo. You should be able to walk now, though be careful. You had fractured your foreleg. I set it with my magic, and Celestia helped to speed the recovery but it may still be a bit tender," Twilight said, holding her hoof out to help support Scootaloo as she started to move off her bed. Her entire body felt weak, her muscles almost unwilling to follow her commands.
"Also, you may wish to see Sweetie Bell and Apple Bloom. They have been worried about you the last few days," Twilight mentioned as Scootaloo somehow managed to stand, her balance trying to elude her. Already the weight placed upon her previously broken leg was uncomfortable, though not so much painful. Scootaloo looked over to Twilight.
"Thank you Twilight, for everything you have done. I wish you the best of luck with your cure research. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I would even give up my flight again if it meant it would help Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo said, hoping it would be as simple as simply reversing the process, though Scootaloo hoped such was not the case. Twilight merely shook her head in response.
"I'll keep that in mind, Scootaloo. Though, I could never take away the flight you have waited so long to receive. I don't know if I could live with myself if I took away something so important to you, even if it meant helping Rainbow Dash recover," Twilight said, once again sending an icy chill through Scootaloo as Twilight motioned for Scootaloo to leave.
"Go on now, leave the rest to us. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell are probably waiting outside as we speak. Besides, I am sure you have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on," Twilight said, as she walked Scootaloo over to one of the doors leading into the room, opening it with magic as they neared. There was a hallway on the other side, just as white and sterile as the room they were in. Scootaloo intended to turn to address Twilight as she stepped out of the door, but was beat to it by Twilight.
"Take care Scootaloo. I am sure we will have Rainbow soaring through the skies again in no time," Twilight said, giving Scootaloo a small smile. The only thing Scootaloo could see, however, was the pained look in Twilight's eyes as she closed the door, leaving Scootaloo standing alone in the hall as Twilight's hoof-steps receded from the doorway.
Slowly, the reality of what all she had been told began to fully sink in. Rainbow Dash couldn't fly, Twilight couldn't find a cure after a couple of days, and Scootaloo was not even suspected of any foul play. She was sure she should have felt at least a bit relieved at the fact that they were both alive, but the only thing on her mind was the sadness she had seen from Twilight at the suffering of her friend, and because of that, a single thought floated through Scootaloo's mind.
'What have I done?'
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Ilove the concept of this storyand most of the execution, my only critique is that the dialouge feels off in some places. Ponies talking a bit too formally or expositionally.
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I can understand you concerns over the dialog, which is a weak-point of mine when writing for existing characters. I do tend to see Princess Luna as one who would address ponies formally, especially in dire situations, and the same goes for Twilight. As for the dialog being a bit expositional, I would start to try and pass that off with Luna and Twilight as being in a 'supervising' position, while explaining things to, what they still envision, to be a child. It may be a bit stiff, sure, but who goes out of their way to use 'creative wording' when talking with a child about such serious matters?
That being said, once again I do realize this is a weak-point in my writing style, and that it something I could, and am currently, working to improve upon. I do appreciate the feedback, and will be sure to take it under special consideration from now on.
Oh, and I know I say this a lot, but thanks for sticking through with the story! Once again, this is my first ever published work, and I realize it is rough around the edges, but it means a lot to be told I am doing at least somewhat well. This also goes for the 43 or so other dedicated readers out there! As has been the trend so far, I hope to keep pushing out longer (and hopefully more detailed/entertaining) chapters. [/rant]
Sorry for long comment, I just always get so excited!
So, just a story update for all of those still watching and waiting for the next Chapter. The good news is, I am not dead, and actually have a bit already typed up for the next chapter. I was a bit delayed on this one because of traveling to Emerald City Comic Con, and also my preparations to attend the upcoming Everfree NW in Seattle. I hope to have the next chapter out by the end of the week, but afterward I will be doing something a bit different.
When I started this story, it was so I could get used to typing again. Now that I am getting comfortable with a pen/keyboard again, I will actually be going back to revise the first chapter, "The Price, Foretold". Nothing will be changed story-wise, I just am hoping to make it a bit of a better read, and more of an intro to the story. Afterward it is likely that I will be taking a bit more time on chapters. (Ever since I believe "A First and a Last Flight," I have not been writing it out before typing, and so the chapters have been a bit more... Unpolished overall.) I am hoping that these two changes will make this story even more exciting for those who have stuck with it!
Once again, thanks to everyone who has supported this story (and therefore me) with views and likes! I hope to set new standards with the coming chapters, and hope you continue (or start to) enjoy the story!
Seems I was right about Dash's flight being lost in exchange for Scootaloo's. Well, at least Luna seems to actually recognise what went down and informs Scootaloo as such. Just wish she'd be a bit more genre-savvy to realise Scoots probably needs therapy of some sort or just somepony to talk to in her dreams every night from now on, if nothing else than to prevent some sort of disaster from happening. Or some sort of exposition on how strong the Voice has to be to affect Luna and only be stopped by the Elements of Harmony.
Of course, if there's no way to reverse it, Scootaloo still has to live with the status quo. Of course, if Dash's flight was the price for her flight, that means she can still get her Cutie Mark, but then her lie is exposed.