When Luna, Celestia, and Twilight start having strange dreams about the Tree of Harmony, they decide to investigate. And what they find will change Equestria forever.
As I always, this comment is purely my own opinion and should be taken as such. I know its in the name of story progression to include the Elements of harmony on the trip but I cant help but question why it would be decided by the characters to take Equestria's best line of defense to something Celestia admitted could be a threat, second, if Celestia perceives this being to be a threat why wasn't the only known entry and supposedly exit to the 'garden' not put under any kind of guard or watch?
It seems the Ponies have little presence in the sections of the chapter that don't focus on them, a prime example of this is that the reader doesn't know what happened to RD once she collided with the wall, was she knocked out? Did she try again as a prideful RD would?
Why wasn't the plan revealed to the reader? All that was stated about it was that it was risky leaving it up to the reader to decide whether they went with the initial statement by Celestia to Give Otium some friends, determine if he is a threat or a mysterious third option.
I do not know if it was intentional or not but I like the lack of information being provided about Otium at the moment, it keeps me interested and wanting to know more about his story and how it ties in with the world and how he knows of Celestia, 'you of all ponies should know'. This is more a personal thing but I like more description in my stories as it helps with the immersion, its mostly little things such as, what was the wall made of? Why where the Ponies dazed after teleporting this time? And what where to others reactions to RD's brash actions? as well as a little insight into the thoughts of the Characters.
Overall I like the story and believe it has the potential to become something great, I believe its strongest point is that it is unique, like every other story, but what really makes it shine is how it is different in the idea that it is driven by, in the plethora of stories that I have read I could count the amount of stories that are even slightly related to this one on one hand. Can't wait to see where the immortal Otium will take me and I look forward to the next update.
5311673 Thank you for your insight. The details that you so crave are indeed missing for a certain purpose, but some of them are just mistakes. I will try to give a bit more insight on what the characters are thinking and what happened to them in the next chapter, but Otium shall remain a mystery for a while longer.
As I always, this comment is purely my own opinion and should be taken as such.
I know its in the name of story progression to include the Elements of harmony on the trip but I cant help but question why it would be decided by the characters to take Equestria's best line of defense to something Celestia admitted could be a threat, second, if Celestia perceives this being to be a threat why wasn't the only known entry and supposedly exit to the 'garden' not put under any kind of guard or watch?
It seems the Ponies have little presence in the sections of the chapter that don't focus on them, a prime example of this is that the reader doesn't know what happened to RD once she collided with the wall, was she knocked out? Did she try again as a prideful RD would?
Why wasn't the plan revealed to the reader? All that was stated about it was that it was risky leaving it up to the reader to decide whether they went with the initial statement by Celestia to Give Otium some friends, determine if he is a threat or a mysterious third option.
I do not know if it was intentional or not but I like the lack of information being provided about Otium at the moment, it keeps me interested and wanting to know more about his story and how it ties in with the world and how he knows of Celestia, 'you of all ponies should know'. This is more a personal thing but I like more description in my stories as it helps with the immersion, its mostly little things such as, what was the wall made of? Why where the Ponies dazed after teleporting this time? And what where to others reactions to RD's brash actions? as well as a little insight into the thoughts of the Characters.
Overall I like the story and believe it has the potential to become something great, I believe its strongest point is that it is unique, like every other story, but what really makes it shine is how it is different in the idea that it is driven by, in the plethora of stories that I have read I could count the amount of stories that are even slightly related to this one on one hand. Can't wait to see where the immortal Otium will take me and I look forward to the next update.
Sincerely,
TheMagicalBrony
5311673
Thank you for your insight. The details that you so crave are indeed missing for a certain purpose, but some of them are just mistakes. I will try to give a bit more insight on what the characters are thinking and what happened to them in the next chapter, but Otium shall remain a mystery for a while longer.
Man, this chapter is interesting.