All's Fair in Love and Piracy

by bahatumay

Chapter 8

The merchant captain looked up as he heard the lookout’s whistle, indicating an approaching ship. He retrieved his telescope and headed outside. His calm demeanor vanished and his eyes widened as he focused through the telescope and recognized the ship. “It’s the Sonic Rainboom,” he hissed.

Not a soul aboard his ship didn’t know that name. A cold pall settled over the crew. Some of the more superstitious among them reached for protective amulets or made protective gestures.

“We’re getting out of here,” he said. “Get that sail up! Turn us about! All hooves below deck and to oars!” He turned back to the steering wheel. “I said, turn us abou-”

His voice trailed off. The former helmspony was laying on the ground, dazed, bound, and gagged, tied up at the side of—and also with a rope loosely tying him by his belt to—the wheel. In his stead, a cyan pony with a rainbow-colored mane was steering.

She looked back over her shoulder and winked. “But captain,” she said playfully, “don’t you wanna come and play with little old Blitzy?” She turned around and kicked her sword up into her mouth as the crew started aggressively forwards. “Ah, ah, ah,” she warned the crew. “We'll kill any who resist. Don’t resist, and you might just make it out of here alive.”

The clanging sound of metal on wood sounded all along the ship as pirates arrived by magiskis and clambered aboard by ropes and hooks, swords drawn and at the ready.

The Sonic Rainboom wasn’t far behind, and Applejack watched the pirates work from her position on the railing. As odd as Bulk Biceps looked, he was clearly experienced; he skillfully maneuvered the Sonic Rainboom broadside to the merchant vessel near enough that the few remaining crewmembers who hadn’t managed to get magiskis, including Li’l Scoots, were able to easily jump aboard the target vessel, waving swords and shouting war cries.

The captain snarled, but threw down his sword. He was outnumbered badly, and had no desire to die today.

“Very good,” Rainbow Blitz grinned. “Now. Why don’t we see what we have, hmm?” She jerked her head, and a few of her crew headed belowdecks. She turned back to the captain and put on a winning smile. “So, you come here often?”

The merchant captain rolled his eyes, clearly not wanting to engage in this conversation.

“Well, I don’t.” She flapped her wings and lifted off the ground, flitting around like a bee. “I’m here, I’m there, I’m everywhere!” She accentuated this last word with a loop. “Today’s your unlucky day.” She paused, hovering in one place. “Or maybe lucky, because I’m in a good mood. Maybe you all leave with your lives today.”

Applejack watched this exchange from her place on the Sonic Rainboom; she had decided against jumping over in an attempt to avoid any more piracy. Octavia had pointedly ignored her all that morning, and that frostiness hadn't changed. She hadn't even looked back as she headed belowdecks, with Li'l Scoots tagging along behind.

Applejack's ears suddenly pricked up. She could have sworn she had heard the word 'cider' coming from the ponies below.

Rainbow’s ears pricked straight up as well. She slowly spun around to look behind her. “What was that?” she demanded.

Octavia brought a barrel up from the bowels of the ship, and Rainbow Blitz quickly pried the top off. She dipped her sword in and extended her tongue, sampling it off the edge of the blade. In a flash, she flicked her sword up to the captain’s neck, sliding it through the fur until it tickled his skin. “Where did you get this?” Rainbow demanded, her voice colder than her steel.

“Port Ponyville,” the captain stammered. “Some red stallion sold it to me.”

“Mac,” Applejack breathed. Her family was doing ok… and probably still worried sick about her. She managed to take a tiny glimmer of relief that the farm hadn’t burned down in her absence, but she still worried. Were they eating enough? Had Apple Bloom earned her cutie mark? How was Granny Smith's hip?

“Interesting…” Rainbow said, eyes flicking back and forth between the captain and Applejack. “I just so happen to be a fan of cider.” She lowered her sword. “Tell you what. I’m a generous mare. Why don’t you have some cider from all the barrels here before we bring them aboard?” She motioned with a hoof, and Bon Bon and Shoeshine brought the other two barrels. “Go ahead. Consider it a gift from one captain to another.”

Applejack understood instantly. Rainbow Blitz was making sure that these barrels weren’t poisoned.

The captain, who hadn’t poisoned the barrels, decided he might as well enjoy this, and grabbed a tankard.

When Rainbow had been convinced all of the cider was pure, she clapped a hoof on his shoulder. “Excellent!” she said. “Now we’ll just take these and be off.”

The crew quickly swarmed back to their own ship, and soon the Sonic Rainboom was well on its way.

“Is that all she took?” the first mate asked. “Just the cider?”

“I think so,” another sailor said.

A gray pegasus shot out of a gunwale in the lower portion of the ship, carrying a barrel of something that looked a lot like gunpowder.

“Derpy!” Rainbow Blitz yelled. “You do that again and we’ll leave your dumb feathers behind!”

“My bad!”

A quick perusal showed that cider and gunpowder were not all that was taken. While the merchant crew had been distracted by the pirates on deck, the rest of Blitz's crew had, using magiskis and fast work and via the gunwells, raided the food storages and some of the bunks. Not even the pillows were safe. Everything shiny that wasn't nailed down had been taken. The captain's chambers had been raided and ransacked; the only thing of value left had been the compass and the spyglass (though the wooden case it had been in had been taken). Even a hat or two had been taken.

“She is good,” the first mate had to say. “She is really good.”

“Shut up.”

* * *

As everypony knows, there is only one thing to do with apple cider, and that is drink it.

Well, Rainbow Blitz did once consider bathing in it; but scratched that idea for being silly.

In front of the whole crew and Applejack, Rainbow dipped in a tankard and then threw her head back and drained it in one go, a feat that Applejack had to admit was moderately impressive. She exhaled, making a big showing of wiping her lips. “Gotta say, it’s good to be the captain.” A smile flitted across her face as she scanned the gathered ponies. “But what’s a captain without her crew?”

“Just a pirate?” Scootaloo offered.

“It was a rhetorical question,” Rainbow said flatly.

Scootaloo looked slightly abashed, and tugged her bandana down a bit.

“Now, obviously, there’s no captain without a crew, so what better way to celebrate than by splitting this cask among my closest friends?”

The crew began to cheer. Lyra stomped loudly, but next to her, Bon Bon noticed something. “So are you just going to take the other two for yourself?” she asked.

The crew fell silent. Everyone turned to look at Bon Bon, who took a stutter step back at becoming the center of attention so quickly.

Rainbow scowled. “Do you not want cider? 'Cause I’ll have Octavia throw you overboard and we’ll drink cider without you.”

Bon Bon quickly shut her mouth.

Rainbow nodded. “That's what I thought. Grab a mug, everypony!”

Applejack was surprised at just how quickly the pushing and shoving began and was even more surprised at how violent it got. Elbows and bucks and hooves were thrown left and right, and she retreated further back against the wall for her own protection. She glanced away, checking for an escape route if needed, and found that Pipsqueak had had a similar idea.

“I’ve seen sharks more sociable, so I have,” he shouted, needing to be that loud to be heard over the clamor.

Applejack nodded weakly. And she thought her family could get rough.

Rainbow dealt a few disciplinary blows of her own, and pretty soon, they’d shaped up as best pirates could, forming an orderly line with only a few minor shoves and only a few tails stepped on. Too late, Applejack realized that she probably should have been more forceful; pushing her way in front to draw Rainbow Blitz’s attention.

Her mouth curled up slightly at the edges. There was always another way to draw attention when there was cider around.

When she got to the front of the line, she waited for Rainbow Blitz to fill her mug (and pointedly ignored Octavia’s glare and hoof twitching towards her sword). When she did, she waited until Rainbow sensed her staring and looked up. Applejack met her eyes and hefted her mug.

Rainbow understood instantly. She filled her own mug, and Applejack had to give her credit for filling it just as full. As one, they raised their mugs in an unspoken challenge. Rainbow lifted her hoof and bounced it lightly. Three. Two. One.

She dropped it like a starting flag, and they lifted their mugs to their lips and drank. Applejack made sure she wasn’t holding anything back; she got the feeling Rainbow Blitz would notice if she went easy on her.

Rainbow Blitz slammed her mug down on the table first, winning by only a split second. Applejack grunted, mildly irked, and she heard coins being passed around.

Still, Rainbow nodded appreciatively. Applejack had done well.

Rainbow Blitz turned back to the rest of the crew. “Alright. Who dares to challenge the great Rainbow Blitz next?”

Lyra nudged Bon Bon forward, and she took her spot. Rainbow slammed her next mug a good three seconds before Bon Bon. “Weak,” she laughed. “Who’s next?”

Applejack stepped up in line again. Rainbow Blitz laughed, but filled her mug again.

And once again, Rainbow Blitz won, slamming her mug down first. Applejack could barely believe it. She was good. That, or she really, really liked cider.

Either way, she nonchalantly shooed Applejack away and held up her mug again. “Who’s next?”

* * *

The cider barrel was empty, and the party was wrapping up. For most ponies, at least.

“Ah know my cider limit,” Applejack said, looking over at Rainbow Blitz’s surprisingly steady departure with reluctant admiration, “but Ah don’t think she has one.”

Lyra looked up from stroking Bon Bon’s mane. “I hear you,” she said, resting her hoof on her unconscious friend. “In fact, I’d be surprised if anypony gets anything done tomorrow.”

Surprise uncurled herself from the floor and looked up just long enough to give Lyra a winning (if somewhat lopsided) smile before collapsing again.

“You didn’t want any?” Applejack asked.

Lyra shook her head wryly. “Not my thing,” she said.

She was interrupted by a pair of full buckets being slid across the deck to bump against their hooves. Applejack looked up to see Octavia, her usual scowl mixed with a little smirk.

“Also I’m still on cleaning crew tonight,” Lyra finished. “And it looks like you just volunteered.”

Applejack rolled her eyes.

“Every pony pulls their weight, apple mare.”

“Applejack,” Applejack corrected instinctively as she reached for the mop. She grabbed Surprise’s tail to pull her out of the way and began mopping.

* * *

Once the room was more or less clean, Applejack headed back to the brig. She happened to walk by just as Rainbow Blitz walked out of her cabin. She quietly shut the door behind her and kept walking. Applejack cocked her head, surprised enough to slow to a stop. Rainbow Blitz had never cared about being kind to doors before. Usually she was in too big of a hurry barging through to someplace to even notice that there had been a door.

She knew. Most of the doorways on the Sonic Rainboom had already had the doors removed for a reason.

Rainbow looked up and saw Applejack’s confused expression. “Li’l Scoots,” Rainbow said with a quick head motion back towards the room. “I told her to stay away from the cider, but I guess she wanted to be cool like me and stole some when nopony was looking.” She cracked a smile. “Not that I blame her or anything, but still.” She paused. “I think I’m proud of her, actually. She didn’t get caught.”

“Hung over?” Applejack asked.

Rainbow snorted. “Still drunk. It’s even the weak stuff.”

Applejack chuckled. “Thought Ah heard some singing earlier.”

“If you could call it that,” Rainbow said with a wry smile. “Singing sea shanties is definitely not her special talent. Tomorrow she’s going to have a splitting headache. She might as well get a good night’s rest while she can, because tomorrow’s going to bite flank for her. She’ll still have to pull her weight. It’ll be a good learning experience.”

Applejack couldn’t help but smile.

“What's that for?” Rainbow demanded.

“You watch out for Scootaloo, you don’t just kill ponies outright; hay, you gave me cider and I’m still technically your prisoner. You’re not as bad as you seem.”

“I'm still pretty bad,” Rainbow Blitz defended herself, “and I’m much badder between the sheets.” Rainbow Blitz winked. “And by that, I mean the good kind of bad.”

Applejack chuckled.

Rainbow shrugged. “But seriously, it’s better this way. Ponies don’t resist, I get what I want, and everypony’s happy.” She paused. “Well, I’m happiest, because I get all the booty and such, but hey.” She swatted Applejack on the flank with her tail. “Speaking of what I want, I’m still waiting for that cider trove. Two barrels will only last me so long; and I have a hunger.”

“A hunger?” Applejack said flatly. “You don’t eat cider-”

“An undying thirst for the liquid goodness that is cider,” Rainbow Blitz corrected, only slurring her words the tiniest bit. “And you’re gonna help me.”

“Not gonna happen,” Applejack said, but this time she couldn’t keep a little smile off her face.

“You keep saying that,” Rainbow said as she trotted away, “but Rainbow Blitz always gets what Rainbow Blitz wants.”

Applejack smiled wanly as she left. Even with her rough and tumble exterior, she really did seem like somewhat of a decent po-

Applejack slapped herself. Now was no time to be thinking like that. She just needed to get home.

Even so, an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach as she returned to the brig.

Comments

[treegrowth]

I like it, a few garammer problems, but I really like this.
lets see what's next, shall we?

[Timaeus]

Aww, looks like Applejack's starting to like Rainbow.

I'm sure that there's no way anything could go wrong for either of them

[Mares-a-Mares]

All the cider are belong to Dashie. XD