• Published 20th Sep 2014
  • 1,542 Views, 78 Comments

All's Fair in Love and Piracy - bahatumay



Applejack is captured by the dread pirate Rainbow Blitz. She's offered her freedom in exchange for the location of her home island, or else she can remain a prisoner forever. She decides to take a third option.

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Chapter 7

Now that Rainbow Blitz had more or less vouched for her in front of the entire crew, Applejack had overnight been silently accepted by the crew. The first evidence of this was when she was invited for first breakfast, and given a plate and a seat among the rest of the crew.

But that might not have been as high an honor as she’d hoped.

Applejack stared blankly at what passed for breakfast. She was fairly certain she’d served nicer things to the hogs on her island. “Ah think Ah’d rather eat my own tail,” she said, poking gingerly at the slop with a fork.

“Well, excuuuse me, princess,” Dinky spat. “Most of my supplies got soaked in the storm! This is what I had left!”

Raindrops chuckled at Applejack’s expression. “Yeah, Dinky gets kindof protective of her food.”

“I do not!” Dinky defended herself.

Raindrops rolled her eyes. “Dinky, you threw a pot at Lyra's head when she insulted your clam chowder.”

“She deserved that one,” Dinky maintained, setting a hoof down staunchly. “Lyra wouldn’t know good chowder if it bit her on the flank.”

“Either way,” Rainbow broke in, setting an end to the discussion, “we gotta get supplies, and fast. Today or tomorrow.” She lifted a spoonful of the slop and sniffed it once before dropping it again and sliding her bowl away. “Make that today. Octavia! Scramble the pegasi!”

“Aye, cap’n!”

Applejack felt her heart begin to race. Freedom was even closer now.

* * *

As the pegasi left to search for a close port, the earth ponies and unicorns who hadn't managed to snag a magiski were left to amuse themselves on board the ship. Dice and packs of cards (some of which were still waterlogged and had smeared ink) reappeared, and some ponies began sparring with wooden weapons, as if practicing for some big fight or something.

Applejack didn't want to be too much a part of any of this—she was not good at bluffing for some reason—so she went below to see what she could do.

There wasn't much. Derpy was cleaning her cannons, Pipsqueak was counting the gunpowder barrels, the large white pegasus was doing crunches hanging from the ceiling, and none of these activities really appealed to her. She wandered further, eventually coming back to Octavia's bunker. She paused, her eyes catching sight of a violin case on the floor. Applejack slowed to a stop. She felt a sudden longing to play. As much as she wanted to, though, she was afraid of Octavia. The gray earth pony's attitude towards her left no doubt that she wouldn't think twice about smashing another oar into the back of her head and throwing her overboard, regardless of what Captain Blitz might think of her.

So she may or may not have jumped a bit when she turned around to leave and bumped right into Octavia herself. Octavia’s eyes remained flat and half-lidded.

Applejack grimaced sheepishly. “Hey, uh… hi?”

“You're back,” Octavia observed dryly, eyes narrowed in anger.

“Uh… yep?” Applejack said, taking a cue from her brother.

She pursed her lips slightly. “Well, let's hear it.”

“Ah beg your pardon?”

A small smile played at Octavia's lips as she paced, circling over by her hammock. “I see you looking at my instrument. Let’s see you play it.”

Applejack knew a challenge when she heard it. She also knew that Octavia expected her to drop her tail between her legs and back down.

Applejack wasn't about to back down.

Octavia’s eyes narrowed when she saw Applejack’s four-legged playing position, and one eye twitched when she saw Applejack put her mouth on the bow; but she didn’t move other than that for the entirety of her performance.

Applejack chose a popular song, an upbeat dancing song she’d played at a few family reunions. It included numerous double-stops and quick hoofwork, but it was also an absolute blast to play. The bow had been freshly rosined and stuck well to the strings, giving the violin a full and deep sound that she’d never had on any of her instruments before.

When the last note died away, there was a terse silence. Octavia finally spoke. “Country drivel,” she decreed, “but passable.”

To say Applejack was mildly offended would be an understatement. “Ah’ve won Apple Family fiddlin' competitions with that song!” she protested.

Octavia bowed mockingly. “I shall inform the captain we have a prize-winner aboard; perhaps you’ll get seconds tonight.”

Applejack angrily spat out the bow. “What’s wrong with just enjoyin’ the music?” she asked. “Instead, you act like you got a stick up your behind and you hate everypony around you!”

“I don't hate everypony,” Octavia said.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Ok, you like Li'l Scoots; but other than her, Ah’d say almost everypony.”

Finally, a loose brick. “Scootaloo is… innocent,” Octavia said slowly. “It’s a… desirable quality, and one I hope she keeps for a long time.”

“What happened to you?” Applejack had to ask.

Octavia looked down, and she may or may not have shared; but both jumped when a sharp whistle sounded from above. Applejack recognized it as the 'gather!' whistle.

The walls returned with alarming quickness as Octavia turned to leave. “I don't make a habit of sharing my personal stories with prisoners, apple mare.”

“Applejack,” Applejack corrected automatically as she too headed above.

* * *

Applejack ‘accidentally’ brushed her tail against Rainbow as she arrived on deck. “What's going on?”

“We're going to eat good tonight, that's what,” Rainbow said, nodding her head at a ship that they were rapidly gaining on. “You're fighting for us, right? Or staying on board? You can stay with Li’l Scoots.”

“I don’t need a foalsitter!” Li’l Scoots protested, pawing at her sword sheathed at her side. “I can hold my own with the rest of you!”

“Fighting?” Applejack said, somewhat confused.

“Yeah. Looks like just a normal merchant ship. Nothing too scary, not too many cannons. Just some fat guy trying to make a bit.”

Applejack froze. “Wait. You're raiding them?”

Rainbow nodded. “Yeah. We need supplies, remember?”

Applejack couldn't find words. “But… Ah… Ah thought…”

Rainbow Blitz cocked her head, baffled for a moment, and then when it hit her she began laughing so hard she nearly forgot to breathe. “Bahaha! Y- You thought we were going to a port? And get supplies… with bits? From my hoard?” she managed to choke.

“Uh…”

“Pirate!” Rainbow said, pointing to herself triumphantly. “When I want something, I take it!” She turned to face the ship and pointed dramatically. “And right now, I want that!” She spread her wings and took off, circling over the ship. She landed on the rigging, swinging around once and kicking off the green pony who had been climbing up, drew her sword, and called her challenge to the sailors. “For those of you who don’t know me, allow me to introduce myself! We are the crew of the dread pirate Rainbow Blitz, and today you’re all gonna die!” She grinned and murmured, "pause for dramatic effect", and then shouted again. “But he can be bought off for the right price. What do you have for us?”

Applejack was somewhat relieved to realize that Rainbow Blitz talked about herself as if she were a stallion. That made her feel a little less ridiculous about not realizing who she was at first.

The captain drew his sword. “A cold steel blade in your throat and my boot up your tailhole, that’s what!” he snarled.

Rainbow placed her hooves on her hips. A hush fell over the gathered pirates. “What did you say to me?” she asked, her voice icy.

“You heard me, filthy wench! Rainbow Blitz or no, no mare’s going to take my ship!”

It was Scootaloo who started it. Slowly, and accentuating each syllable with a pound of her little hooves on the deck railing, she began to chant, “Rain. Boom. Rain. Boom. Rain! Boom! Rain! Boom!”

Others quickly joined in the cheer, speeding it up faster and faster and getting louder and louder as they pounded their own hooves and weapons against the wood.

Rainbow Blitz lifted a hoof to her ear as if to hear the chant better, and the chant quickly dissolved into frenzied screaming. Deciding that that was enough, she sheathed her sword and tossed it with her belt back towards her own ship. Next followed her hat.

Scootaloo flapped her tiny wings hard enough to get temporarily airborne and managed to catch it. She gripped it tightly to her chest and snuggled it, prompting an eyeroll from Octavia.

Rainbow grinned at the captain. “See ya,” she said pleasantly, before darting up into the sky. Applejack quickly lost sight of her.

She did, however, see the white cone of air pressure forming around a small figure falling down through the sky. The cone grew narrower and narrower as Rainbow Blitz flew faster and faster downwards. It quickly became clear what her... headstrong plan was.

“She’s crazier'n an outhouse rat,” Applejack breathed.

“Open the sails!” the captain screamed, making a desperate attempt to get out of the way, but it was too late.

Rainbow Blitz impacted the ship with enough speed to send up a rainbow-colored mushroom cloud, splitting the ship in two as she went straight through the hull.

Applejack’s jaw dropped. That was a two-decked merchant ship, and she had just torn through it like it had been paper.

Rainbow's head popped out of the water. She shook her head to clear some of the water from her mane. “What are you waiting for?” she shouted, treading water. “Your supplies are sinking! Get over here!”

In a flurry of wings and thrown ropes and swinging bodies (and one or two thrown bodies, courtesy of Bulk Biceps), the pirate crew boarded the ship. Swords clashed as some of the merchant crew decided to defend their cargo, but most threw down their swords and jumped overboard, their fear of Blitz's crew overwhelming any previous obligations. Especially when the mare herself pulled herself out of the water and landed on deck. The crew began looting with surprising efficiency.

Applejack watched as Derpy grabbed a large sack of flour, and she was promptly confronted by an enemy sailor. Startled, Derpy took a few steps back and bumped into the mast, which must have been weakened from the explosion because it began to topple. The heavy weight landed on the captain's cabin, sending splinters everywhere, and the sudden decrease then increase of weight made the ship sink even faster, turning the flat deck into a slope.

“Hey, check this out! They’ve got honey!” Scootaloo said, carrying her prize over her head triumphantly… before tripping over one of the broken spars that littered what was left of the deck. Scrabble though she might, the jar of honey slipped out of her hooves and bounced twice before rolling through the slats and falling overboard.

Scootaloo’s everything wilted.

Rainbow chuckled and ruffled her mane. “Eh, it could be worse. It could be the island of the butterflies all over again, right, Li’l Scoots?”

Scootaloo's wings flared angrily as she stepped back and blushed a brilliant red. “Hey!” she protested. “What happened to ‘never bringing that up again’?”

Rainbow laughed. “I’m just teasing. Hey, jump down there with Octavia. Maybe you’ll find something else good floating around that we missed.”

Scootaloo’s smile returned, though this time a bit smaller, and she followed the gray mare down to the edge of the deck. The ship had tilted so dramatically that a few of the lifeboats were already floating in the water, and with a little jump with her wings buzzing, Scootaloo followed Octavia into one of the lifeboats.

Applejack still stood, staring. These pirates may have seemed like all fun and games, but they were surprisingly efficient. Many of the supplies had been brought aboard, and they had already started a chain gang to load the heavier items faster. Instinctively, she stepped forward to help Shoeshine load up a heavy sack of flour, and winced internally as she tossed it to Bon Bon, realizing that she had technically just helped commit an act of piracy. She wondered how that would look in court.

Far from these internal musings, Octavia and Scootaloo rowed around, looking around for anything of value. Scootaloo recovered her pot of honey, and she huggled it tightly, unwilling to let it out of her sight. Octavia was a bit more practical, recovering a barrel of fresh water and a container of salt.

A hoof from the water grabbed the side of the boat, and Scootaloo shrieked and instinctively smashed it with her jar.

The captain surfaced, wiping the water from his face. He looked up, as if ready to shout, but his eyes widened as he realized that this lifeboat was not crewed by ponies he knew. Instead, there stood a gray mare, balanced firmly on the lifeboat’s sidewalls, hefting an oar threateningly.

“Haven't you heard?” she said with a twisted smile. “The captain always goes down with the ship!” And with that, she brought the oar down on his head, sending him sinking into the ocean.

“Aww,” Scootaloo whined as the captain disappeared beneath the waves. “I wanted to give him a good parting shot line.”

“Like what?” Octavia asked.

“I dunno, like... 'Nightmare Moon has a message for you! Go and see what it is!' Or, maybe, 'Special delivery for Nightmare Moon's locker!'”

“Scootaloo?”

“Yeah?”

“Keep practicing.”

“Aww...”

* * *

The whole crew ate well that night. Applejack made sure to sit next to Rainbow Blitz and pass her all the food she wanted.

And Applejack found herself impressed at just how much the pegasus could put away. This had been their first time actually eating together, and Applejack couldn't help but stare. Rainbow ate more than anypony else and she would have fit right in at any Apple family eating contest.

But that wasn’t the best part. The best part came at the end, when Rainbow Blitz was walking out.

“Applejack, you’re on dish duty today.”

No, not that part. It was the part right after, when Rainbow flicked her tail and hit Applejack right on her cutie mark. “Hey,” she said. “Nice job today.”

Applejack smirked. “Well, I had a good captain.”

Rainbow Blitz laughed. “Only the best!” she said, before leaving.

Neither noticed the gray earth pony watching both of them with glaring eyes.

Author's Note:

Monthly update, go! :facehoof:
I somehow forgot about this one. I swear, I'll update faster.