Introduction Chapter
Getting up in the morning was always a hassle, especially for a princess. Actually waking up was the worst part of it all, well, debatebly with getting her mane brushed, but nonetheless it was still a hassle. Celestias eyes opened to the night sky, dark and everlasting as always. Luna had made the night as beautiful as it was over a thousand years ago. Stars always aligned, moon bright, as welcoming as the sunlight was.
But this morning in particular felt... almost strange. She couldn't hear any sort of sounds, nothing at all. Celestia looked outside her window, usually by now some ponies would get up to see the early morning sunrise and they would have their home lights turned on, but it was just complete darkness outside. What was even more strange was that no pony was here, in her room, not even her personal guards.
After the Princess got ready for her day, she started to trot towards Luna's tower where she raises and lowers the moon. But on her way there, there was no pony in sight. The castle was completely empty.
Celestia started to fly to the top of the tower, but when she got there Luna was missing, but there was a note on the railing.
"Dearest sister,
I've hoped you've realized by now that Canterlot is completely empty. If you're reading this note, I have not returned yet. I'm flying out to meet up with Cadence, on my way back I'll see if Twilight is still with us as well. My prediction is that it isn't just ponies of Canterlot that have gone missing, 'tiss everyone, everywhere. Why we are still here I have not figured out just yet. When I get back meet me in the throne room. Hopefully I've figured something out by then.
-Luna
Celestia was in utter shock that it wasn't just her hallucinating, Luna had realized it too. 'Why didn't she wake me up? It's not safe for anypony to go out there!'
But she did as was told and went down into the throne room and waited for Luna's return. 'I just hope Cadence and Twilight are still with us' She thought to herself. But the question still remained, Why? And how? There is no entity that Celestia knew that could do such a thing, and it was almost impossible... Right? There was no way in Equestria that you could just make everypony disappear with a wave of the horn. This could be Discord's work, but he would have at least shown himself by now, plus he couldn't exactly just make everything just disappear anyway.
Celestia heard the door squeak open slightly and she turned to see who it was, already knowing it was her sister. Luna entered the throne room slowly looking exhausted. She was breathing deeply and when she opened her mouth to talk nothing came out. It looked like she could barely stand on her own four hooves. And that's when she collapsed, but she didn't faint. Celestia ran to her side looking for any wounds. Not seeing any she realized she was just tired. Luna barely whispered into Celestia's ear, "Something is out there, I don't know who it is or what it is, but it's huge. It's completely destroyed Manehatten, luckily no pony was there that I could see. All I know now is that Cadence and Twilight are on their way, it seems that we're... the only... one's." Luna fainted in the Princesses hooves and fell asleep.
She knew one thing, whatever was out there had the ability to take ponies off this planet completely, maybe even the wildlife to. Whatever it is, it's powerful, and not just that either. It's big enough to completely destroy one of the biggest cities in Equestria in one night. That was almost overwhelming.
On the bright side it's good to hear that Princess Cadence and Princess Twilight were still with us and on there way.
Celestia picked up Luna and carried her to her bedroom and laid her down on her bed. Whatever was out there needed to be taken care of quickly before any other cities were destroyed.
Celestia heard the door behind her open slightly and quickly turned around, horn ablaze...
A purple mare entered the room, startled to see her mentors horn pointed at her, "Whoa, whoa, hey!" Twilight stumbled over her hooves, taken aback from the sudden event, "It's just me Princess! Twilight Sparkle! I'm sorry I came here as fast as I could."
Celestia lowered her horn, noticing that it was her student, "I'm sorry Twilight, I was just trying to protect Luna, who knows what she's been through tonight."
The purple alicorn embraced her teacher, trying to comfort her, "I'm not sure what's going on but trust me, we'll get through it. I have no idea what's been going on, I was just awoken and told to come to Canterlot as quickly as possible." She pulled away as she heard a knock on the door. They both turned to see Cadence in the doorway.
Cadence looked around the room, "I'm sorry, is it a bad time?"
"Of course not Cadence, it's been so long since I've seen you." Celestia opened the door with her magic, inviting the pink alicorn inside. She walked into the room a bit shakingly, as if something had happened on her way here. Twilight excitedly trotted up to Cadence and said, "It's so good to see you again!"
They started to do their greeting, "Sunshine, Sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!" After they were done they embraced each other, "It's good to see you to Twi, glad you're still alive." She turned towards Celestia, "Do you have any idea what's going on?"
"Not as much as Luna, but I'll try my best to explain." Celestia sat down next to Luna's bed, " Something is out there, and from what I've heard it's big, big enough to completely destroy Manehattan. Where it is now I have no idea, but we must do something as quickly as possible."
Cadence peered around Celestia, noticing Luna was asleep on her bed, "What happened?"
"Just exhausted about what happened today. This should wait until later, both of you can go ahead and get comfortable in the sleeping chambers, we'll talk when Luna comes back around.”
They both nodded in agreement and headed towards the sleeping quarters while Celestia stayed with Luna a minute longer, then headed off to rest herself up. There’s going to be a long day ahead of them.
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Great intro, quite enjoyed it. I hope you keep making chapters for us to read.
Very interesting, can't wait for more. A bit more explanation would definitely help, though.
4960344 No problem, I plan on doing so in the chapter 1. Thanks you for commenting and favoriting!
For anyone that's noticed, I changed the maturity from Mature and gore to just Teen. I was thinking about it and realized that since this is my first major story, I shouldn't mess around with any gory stuff. Hope you guys enjoy nonetheless.
Which Monster are you going to base off or are you going to make an OC monster that's Anti-Ponylike/Anti-Magiclike?
oh that new game i think i choose krakken
I have no idea why, but I feel like the monster is part of a bigger picture.
This could be Discords work, but he would have at least shown himself by now, plus he couldn't exactly just make everything just disappear anyway.
Discord's
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Luna entered the throne room slowly looking exhausted and wiped, she was breathing deeply.
Is exhausted and wiped the same thing?
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When she opened her mouth to talk, nothing came out.
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Celestia ran to her side, not seeing any wounds or anything of the sort, she was just tired.
could use a rewrite.
An example
Celestia ran to her side looking for any wounds, there were none, her poor sister was just tired.
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Luna barely whispered into Celestias ear, "Something is out there, I don't know who it is or what it is, but it's huge. It's completely destroyed Manehatten, luckily no pony was there that I could see. All I know now is that Cadence and Twilight are on there way, it seems that we're... the only... one's."
Dialog from the same char should have its own paragraph.
their
Celestia's
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She knew one thing, whatever was out there had the ability to take ponies off this planet completely, maybe even the wildlife to.
too.
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There are some other issues, let me know if you need help.
Good start
The idea is quite interesting. But this needs some proofreading work, so I think you'd look for an editor. Aside from some typos and punctuation issues, it sounded to me, that the part when Celestia thinks about Discord, she contradicts herself.
-This could be Discords work, but he would have at least shown himself by now, plus he couldn't exactly just make everything just disappear anyway.-
Maybe something like : "This could be Discord's work... But he would have at least shown himself by now... And no, he couldn't just make everything disappear anyway."
Also, assuming we get in Celestia's thoughs in the first two lines, I don't really see her even think of a word such as "sucked", being a pony princess.
Just giving suggestions and advices.
Well it looks like there were some errors when I was editing the story, I had changed a lot of the things people are saying prior to publish but I guess something went wrong and it didn't save. I will be making some minor grammatical changes because of this error.
Cmon already i want another chapter! Pleease
5511595
I'm going to be completely honest with you, I got about halfway through writing it and decided to trash the chapter. I havn't really been keeping up to date with pony, I actually havn't been on this site in weeks. I'll see what I can do to make another chapter though, since people actually liked this story. Expect an update within the next week, and I'm sorry to keep you guys all waiting for the next chapter to hit. Just know that I'll have to re-read the chapter, and try to remember where the fuck I was going with this story.
Thank you for understanding
-Christi
5525575
take your time its worth waiting for the next chapter
and recently new monster in evolve just came out in youtube when all people playing this game
HELL YEAH IV'E BEEN LOOKING FOR A EVOLVE FANFIC FOR SOMETIME NOW!!!! WOOOOOO!!! Thank you, better continue this story......NO CANCEL PLEASE!
I am looking forward to see how you handle this.... interesting choice having the regular ponies vanish.
I am a monster.
Better bring Meteor Goliath or i will eat your pretty Equestria.
5525575 you evil mofo, making a great idea and just bailing on us. For shame.
This will probably be the last time I use this site, just to explain what went down
So I made the chapter, felt good about how it turned out. I put my story in a group chat where they could make comments on the story before release. Well, they were harsh but what else did I expect...
I made the changes that needed to be changed, only for more people to "correct" my "laziness and lack of feelings" which was probably correct, but I just couldn't handle it at the time.
I took a break, came back to more negative comments and just decided to leave it be. Unfinished pretty much. I have no interest in writing it anymore, since I've practically left the fandom and the game evolve ended up being a bust. But what else did I expect from 2k... Lol
This is my final goodbye, I'm sorry to say. I might check back here in the next couple days. Of you guys really want the chapter I can post the unfinished one, but imo, it is pretty bad...
One more thing: thanks to everyone who was supportive of me writing. It was short, but 35 likes with 0 dislikes? That's pretty nuts. It had tons of potential, and I realize that now.
If any of you like, you can create your own kind of story following this one, even if it wasn't what I had in mind it would be interesting to see someone else's take on the universe.
Thank you all again.
-Christi