The Dead Stallion's Hand

by Lord Zalgo

Attracting Trouble

"That fucking idiot!" The Boss yelled as he slammed his hoof against his desk, causing everypony in the room to flinch. The remaining spies stood with their heads lowered.

"What the fuck was he thinking?! He not only failed, but he's put the entire plan in jeopardy!!" The Boss yelled once more.

"Sir, with all due respe-." Fen began, but was cut off.

"You're far from off the hook! You failed before you even began! All of you were found!" The Boss yelled.

"Well, there was more security than we first saw an'-." Cinnamon began to explain.

"I don't give a shit! The only one of you that wasn't spotted and identified was Clover. And she was stationed in the actual royal palace!!" The Boss cut off once more. Clover looked slightly self-conscious before returning her eyes to her hooves. The Boss sighed before looking out of the window.

"Regardless. We can't just sit here with out tails between our legs. We just have to have a slight change of plans. Heh... In fact... I'm almost glad of this little predicament." The Boss said.

"Why's that?" Star asked, his voice muffled by his gas mask.

"...The one who killed Tartan. He's the brother of Cloud Fortesque. We can use him to manipulate the mayor rather than his sister like I originally intended. Besides... I have a score to settle with Mr Phoenix Fortesque." The Boss replied.

"Okay... But, what does have to do with u-?" Fen began to ask.

"You're going to get him and bring him back here!! If you fail me again, I'll be forced to feed you to the nearest carnivorous creature that I find!!!" The Boss yelled, causing the four spies to flee the room. The only two ponies left in the room were the Boss and Valliere.

"Valliere, I want you to go with them. Out of everypony, you seem to be one of the only ones competent enough to carry out a task such as this." The Boss said, much calmer than before.

"Yes, sir." Valliere replied before beginning to walk out of the office.

"Valliere. I want you to get him back here by any means. If that means draining his blood until he collapses, then do so. But, I want him alive." The Boss called out to her. Valliere stopped for a moment, seemingly frozen to the spot.

"Understood. Thank you, sir." Valliere replied with an evil smile and devilish glee.

---

"Well...That's a lot to take in." Phoenix said as he sat with everypony in Sugarcube Corner.

"Well, you were gone for nearly a year, darling." Rarity replied.

"Yeah, you missed nearly all of season 2!" Pinkie added. Phoenix chose to ignore her as he reviewed what he heard in his mind.

"So... The Cakes had kids- Congratulations on that, by the way." Phoenix cut himself off causing the Cakes to thank him.

"Rarity momentarily forgot that most Canterlotian nobles are douchebags, Spike went on both a rampage and a quest, Fluttershy helped with a typhoon and put a self-help minotaur in his place, Cognito can actually show any expression, I missed Hearth's Warming and Rainbow and Cheerilee got laid. Wow." Phoenix listed with a hint of astonishment and exasperation, but the last comment caused Rainbow and Hoops to turn bright red.

"Phoenix! We haven't... Y'know! We've just... started seeing each other." Rainbow replied, trying to control her sudden shyness.

"Damn... Dying really does suck." Phoenix said.

"You're telling us! They put a plaque on your house after the repairs were made to Ponyville!" Pinkie said excitedly.

"Oh? Why's that?" Phoenix asked.

"You were seen as a fallen hero. All of Ponyville came to your funeral. Your brother spoke and both Applejack and Apple Bloom sang." Twilight explained. Phoenix didn't reply for a moment.

"Phoenix? What is it?" Applejack asked.

"Faust showed me my funeral. I saw the eulogy. I... Thank you all. I... I just felt so loved in that moment. More than any other time in my life and... and the fact that I couldn't... couldn't let it show... I think that's what drove me. I just... had to see you all again." Phoenix said, but seemed to have more trouble speaking as he continued. Slowly, everypony minus Applejack, Hoops and the Cakes were group-hugging Phoenix as if there were no tomorrow. As they dispersed, Applejack quickly wrapped her hooves around Phoenix's neck and kissed him as deeply as she could. An hour or two later, the sun had practically set in the sky and the Cake twins had been put to bed a long while ago. As everypony began to disperse, Applejack stopped Phoenix.

"Can you stay at the 'Acres tonight? Ah know everypony'll be happy to see you." Applejack asked.

"Even Macintosh?" Phoenix asked.

"Eeyup. After... what happened, he didn't talk to me for a while. To be honest, Ah kinda distanced mahself from everypony. But, not long after, he came up to me and said that he wished he could've apologised to you." Applejack said with no small amount of pride. Not for her, but her brother.

"Wow. That's quite big of him. ...I think it would be nice to see Bloom again. I don't see a reason I can't stay one night." Phoenix replied happily.

After ten minutes of walking, Applejack and Phoenix reached the farmhouse. As they entered, Granny Smith looked up to see the pair of ponies and her eyes flew open as she rose from her chair.

"Hey, Granny. Guess who's back." Applejack said happily as Phoenix waved.

"Great Starswirl's ghost..." Granny Smith muttered in awe.

"Where is everypony, Granny?" Applejack asked, snapping Granny out of her trance.

"Oh. They're all asleep, young'un. But, how did...?" Granny trailed off.

"Long story short, I was allowed back by the princesses, god and the devil." Phoenix summarised.

"Well, that's a real simple way to put it, Phoe-." Applejack was cut off by Phoenix grabbing the two of them and pushing them to the ground, one second before one of the windows shattered and a bullet imbedded itself into the far wall.

"Sniper. Stay down." Phoenix told them seriously.

"How didja know that?" Applejack asked in shock.

"The moron thinks 'boom, headshot' before he takes his shots." Phoenix replied.

"What're we gonna do?!" Granny asked in a panic.

"Stay calm. I've got to take that sniper out, but I've also got to stay away from here until they're all taken care of." Phoenix explained.

"'All'?" Applejack questioned. Phoenix turned back to her.

"...They've all come for me. I'm not risking all of you." Phoenix replied.

"No! Ah'm not losin' you again!" Applejack replied. Phoenix simply let out a single chuckle.

"With you around to save my arse should things go bad? I'm not worried." Phoenix said before giving her a quick kiss on the lips and turning back towards the window. He closed his eyes for a moment and located the sniper in the CMC's clubhouse.

"Instantarium." Phoenix said before vanishing. Phoenix reappeared behind a tree about a minute or two's walk away from the clubhouse.

"Invisium." Phoenix said, vanishing from sight as he approached the clubhouse. Once there, he spotted the sniper and silently teleported behind him. Phoenix promptly kicked him off, causing him to yelp and fall flat onto his face in the dirt below. Cinnamon started to pull himself back up, but Phoenix jumped down and landed on him.

"You're a bit low on the pecking order to be kissing the dirt, mate." Phoenix said as he delivered a strong punch to the back of Cinnamon's head, knocking him unconscious. He looked up to see the remaining three spies. Fen looked completely terrified while Star and Clover looked ready to reach for their weapons. Phoenix stood in a battle stance as he stared them down.

"Who's next?" Phoenix said intimidatingly.

"You are." Came a voice from behind Phoenix, immediately causing a look of complete shock to come onto his face. Before he could turn however, excruciating pain flowed through him, originating from his neck. He moved his eyes to see that a mare was furiously biting down on his neck and lapping up the red fluid that he was losing at a rapid rate. Phoenix called out in pain as he was brought to his knees and the colour was beginning to drain from his face. He tried to struggle to get the presence behind him away from him, but whoever it was had incredible strength in their jaw. Valliere continued to feed with her red eyes seemingly glowing in the dark and a look of complete bliss on her face while a look of disturbed horror was on the others'. After a minute or two, Valliere delivered a sharp and hard blow to the back of Phoenix's head, knocking him to the ground only barely grasping onto his consciousness.

'How? ...I... I can't read her at all... How... is...' Phoenix thoughts ceased as he finally collapsed completely.

"Is he going to be alright? We do need him alive, remember?" Fen asked. Valliere turned to look at him with Phoenix's blood dripping from her chin.

"It's only a class 2 haemorrhage. Calm down." Valliere said before Star draped Phoenix onto his back.

"Well, back to base, then?" Fen asked.

"Actually... there's one last stop. I'm sure the Boss will appreciate it." Valliere replied.

---

Phoenix awoke in a darkened room with his entire body restrained and a magic lock on his horn. He looked around for a way to escape, but saw that there was somepony else tied up next to him. He looked at their unconscious figure in shock before looking around as much as his bandaged neck would allow. Moments later the door opened as some silhouettes walked in.

"What's she doing here?" The Boss asked.

"We knew that they'd know we took Mr Fortesque, so we took her too. We thought you'd like it." Valliere replied. The Boss turned back to her quickly, causing Valliere and the spies to instantly get nervous.

"Oh, don't misunderstand. I do like it. I was just surprised." The Boss said with an implied thanks. Phoenix decided to keep the conversation serious as his eyes started to adjust to the light.

"So, it was you behind it all." Phoenix growled.

"Yes. I believe this is an apt revenge." The Boss replied slowly approaching him.

"For what, you bourgeois arsehole?" Phoenix asked levelly.

"You and those princesses ruined my life! And I'm going to make everypony pay!" The Boss yelled, gripping Phoenix's throat with his hoof. Enough to look threatening, but not enough to choke him.

"You're still a pussy with a dick. If that. The only change is that you're even more idiotic, Blueblood." Phoenix said with a scowl. Blueblood released his grip and looked at both Phoenix and Rarity next to him.

"Make yourself comfortable, you little retch. Tomorrow is going to be a wedding to remember." Blueblood said with a devilish smirk and a deep, throaty chuckle.

Comments

[Vandristine]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!! See, four exclamation marks, meaning that I was very surprised. Anyway, I'm know waiting for when Pheonix castrates Blueblood.

[Lord Zalgo]

5537210
My inner Shyamalan is doing a flip right now.

...Screw it, why not? *Ahem*
What a twist!