Despair is the Only Answer

by Gravitiaxis

Chapter One

There are not many of them, all things considered: the truly old. Even on this planet, in this age, when ponies consider a mere hundred years, or a thousand, to be an unusual span. There are, for example, less than ten thousand individuals alive today who have personal memories of the saber-toothed tiger, the megatherium, the cave bear. There are today less than a thousand who walked the streets of Atlantis. (The first Atlantis. The other lands that bore than name were shadows, echo-Atlantises, and they came later.) There are less than five hundred living ponies who remember the equestrian civilizations that pre-dated the great lizards. (There were a few; fossil records are unreliable. Several of them lasted for millions of years.) There are roughly seventy ponies walking the Earth, normal to all appearances (and in some cases, to all medical tests currently available) who were alive before the Earth had begun to congeal from gas and dust. How well do you know your friends, your neighbors, your lovers? Walk the streets of any city and stare carefully at the people who pass you, and know this: They are there too. The old ones.

-The Sandman

There are many Gods, Demigods, fake gods, bad gods, would-be gods and dead gods. There are so many of them that their numbers outmatch the stars in the sky.

Many held a functional role in the universe, while others just existed. Despair was one of the lesser beings who mattered. He holds the title and role as the universal concept of all Despair, Hopelessness and Dread.

By most species in the galaxy he is portrayed as an evil being that wrecks havoc all over the universe by spreading destruction and despair wherever he goes, but to anyone who has met Despair, knew that this couldn't have been any further from the truth.

He was in no way evil. He would never wish upon another being the true meaning of despair. In truth he was just a broken god with a secret, a secret that should never be told.

He was one of the few primordial beings who were still alive today (Many have either died or have changed names/forms). He was in no way the most powerful of concepts, but he was one of the most feared. He was feared because of what he knew and what he knows is enough to reduce even the most strongest of gods to hollow shells of their former selves.

He held the most important secret in the universe that no one knew the answer to except for him. And the time of its reveal was nigh.

---

Celestia in her state of prime and power looked upon her friend with uncertainty. “Rarely do you ever come to visit me, brother. Is something the matter?” She asked, concerned with Despairs presence.

Ignoring her question or simply not hearing it, Despair formed a hollow smile. “How long has it been since we last seen each other?” He asked looking towards her two guards who stood at the foot of her throne. He could see the sweat beads form on their faces as they tried their absolute best to not look upon Despair, lest they become him themselves. He didn't know where those idiotic rumors were coming from, but he did find it somewhat amusing to see a mortal tense up upon looking at him.

These of course were the first mortals he had seen in a long time. He had not felt the joy of laughter in a long time either, but this did amuse him, if he could best identify with that emotion.

Without hesitation Celestia answered him. “It’s been merely two thousand years since you’ve last graced me with your presence, which puzzles me significantly. You rarely fall back on a promise.” Celestia said with obvious tension in her voice. “Leave us.” She commanded the guards.

Her two guard ponies saluted and quickly rushed out of the room.

Despairs ears flattened. He could see the pain in her eyes...and the anger. He had hurt her badly, something of which he never intended to do. “I’m sorry…” He mumbled just enough for her to hear. “I’ve been dealing with something’s…” He said softly, before recoiling as Celestia threw a book at him.

“Gods…not this again. Did our vows not mean anything to you? Were they just words that never registered into that thick head of yours?” Celestia boomed. The force impacted upon her voice was enough to shake the entire room.

Unable to look her in the eye, Despair held his head down in shame. “I’m sorry Celestia. I truly am,” He said while inhaling slightly. “But the weigh on my shoulders is a burden that is too tough to bare. You know this.” He said fighting back a tear that was forming in his eye. Despair had no value for himself, but he did treasure Celestia. She was his one and only wife, how could he not? Some gods who were detracted from mortal events often found time slipping past them. Despair was one of these gods and not seeing his own wife for two thousand years was unforgivable, no matter the reason. Despair knew this.

Celestia stepped off of her throne, taking the necessary steps so that the two of them could speak to each other eye to eye. She placed her hoof on his cheek wiping away a tear that had fallen. “When we exchanged our vows. We promised that we would be there for each other. We promised that we would bear the weight of each others problems for better or worse.” She said struggling not to release any of her own tears.

Despair pushed her hoof away. “I am not the same pony that you fell in love with… I’m nothing… A nobody.”

Celestia shook her head. “Not to me you're not. Too me you are the same Hope that I fell in love with all those eons ago.”

Despair closed his eyes and began to grit his teeth. He hated that name. He hated the very concept. There never was such a thing as hope; it was false emotion you gave to yourself when the going gets tough. The only truth in this universe is despair. “You’re so quick to say that, but you don’t know what I know. You don’t understand the burden I carry and you never will.”

“How can I understand if you won’t let me? What is this burden you hold? Why won’t you let me share it along with you?” Celestia asked as the tears began to stream. “Or did you never love me enough to trust-”

“NO! Don’t say it! Don’t you dare say it… That’s no true. Gods, I love you more than anything else in existence, but I just can’t…” He said collapsing to the floor. He began to bury his head within his hooves. “I just can’t…” He whispered.

'Together until the end of time… We shall be there for each other. No matter the cost, no matter the fates, no matter how tough the weight, we each have to undertake. I will be there for you. If you feel as though you have to hold the entire universe on your shoulders, then it’s my job as your husband to hold half of it. If you ever reach the point of hopelesses then I will be the hope that drives you forward. I will and forever shall be your husband. Do you remember those words you uttered to me? Did you think that only one of us was included in that little speech of yours? I am here for you as well. If you ever feel as though you can’t move forwards, fall back on me and I will give you the extra push that you need to continue forward. I am you’re wife and no matter the costs I will always be here for you.” She said embracing her husband as he wept in silence.

He knew what he had to do. He knew what had to tell her. He loved her too much not too. He pulled her close, as tears continued to stream down. He put everything that he was into uttering the word.

A whisper was all it took…
A name was all it took…
To break a mind…

Comments

[Tallinu]

Interesting start! I'll be watching.

Could use a little more editing. Celestia quoting his words needs to be differentiated somehow (extra 'single quotes' usually) and a few word errors like "weigh" instead of "weight", "seen" vs "saw" and "something's" instead of "some things"... Doesn't look like there's anything too major though.

[Mr Marshmallow]

Continue...

[crowscrowcrow]

This is set to 'complete', so does that mean we'll never get to know what he said?

Until further notice, I'll assume it was "You're a toymaker's creation, Hasbro."

[quafee1]

Intriguing. I'll be awaiting the next chapter. Do some editing though. I don't personally mind it but it starts to bug some people if it becomes a habit. I would very much like to see this go somewhere.