Agent Con Mane in Doctor Ironhoof (Under Revision)

by Fairytail

Chapter 4: Welcome to Janeighca

“Welcome Everypony to beautiful Janeighca.” the lovely voice spoke over the intercom at the airdock. “Please have your passports ready as you exit the airship.”

Joe’s flight to Janeighca was smooth and without incident. As Joe exited the airship into the airdock lobby, he could already smell the salty, ocean air. The lobby was bustling with ponies-- most of them Zebras. All the stripes made Joe dizzy and it was difficult to tell where one Zebra ended and another began. The crowded building was naturally filled with the sounds of hundreds of indecipherable chatter, but unlike the ambient white noise of a typical crowded room this chatter had a rhythm to it. The voices ebbed and flowed like the tide. As Joe walked past the merchant stands and tourist traps selling their trinkets and t-shirts, Joe found himself unconsciously trotting to the rhythm of the Zebras’ peculiar speech patterns.

Joe took the time to admire some traditional Zebra tribal masks being sold by one of the merchants. He could tell that they were of decent quality despite the fact that they were just souvenirs. As Joe studied the craftsmanship, there was a bright flash in the corner of his eye. The flash caught him off guard and blurred his vision slightly. Joe shook the sight back into his eyes and turned to see happy Pegasus family walking away from a cool blue mare with burnt orange mane and an old fashioned camera strapped around her neck. She saw Joe looking at her and quickly cantered over to him with a big smile on her face.

“Welcome to Janeighca!” She said in a chipper voice, “How about a photo to commemorate your arrival? It’s only three bits!”

“Thanks but I don’t want one.” Joe tried to walk around her but she sidestepped and blocked his way.

“It’s customary for all visitors to have their photo taken. It will only take a second!” The photographer winked one of her eyes and playfully licked the light bulb atop the camera. Such a sales pitch might have worked if Joe wasn't in a hurry.

“Please, no photographs.”

“Say cheese!”

Joe tightly closed his eyes to spare himself the blindness and shot his hoof out towards the camera just in time to block the lens.

“Hey! No need to be a jerk!” whined the photographer.

Joe glared at her and pointed his hoof away. The mare tutted in frustration and trotted towards another, more willing, tourist. Joe left the crowded airdock lobby, but the rhythm of Zebra talk still rang in his ears. Outside the main building, yellow taxi carriages lined up waiting to make their modest wages. Most of the taxi drivers were Earth Ponies but a modest amount of Zebras and Pegasi were there too. Joe walked up to a rather young and eager looking Earth Pony. As Joe removed his saddlebags, he told the pony that he was going to Equestria House. But before Joe could hop into the cab, he felt a hoof tap his shoulder.

“Excuse me, sir, but would you happen to be Con Mane?” Joe turned around and saw a yellow Earth Pony with a grey cap standing behind him.

“”That depends on just who do you think you are.” Joe replied. The softly smiling pony seemed undeterred by the curt response.

“I’m the chauffeur.” he answered while pointing down the road to a rather comfortable looking white carriage. “I was sent by Equestria House to collect you.”

Joe smiled at the pony and shook his hoof. “Well ain't that kind of you?” Joe unstrapped his saddlebags and hoofed them to the chauffeur.

“Shall we be going, sir?” The driver started trotting towards his carriage.

“Hold your horses will you?” Joe stopped the driver by stretching out a hoof in front of him. “I want to drop off my luggage at the hotel on the way first.”

“Of course, sir.”

“First let me call them up so I can check my reservation.”

“Well I can do that, sir. You just make yourself comfortable.”

The driver turned to make his way towards the pay phone but once again Joe impeded his progress.

“No, I’m good.” Joe reassured the pony, “You just take care of my bags alright?”

“I’ll be waiting by the carriage, sir.”

The dejected driver slowly trotted towards his carriage with Joe’s bags while Joe made his way towards a glass phone booth that sat near the lobby entrance. A dark grey Pegasus finished up his call just as Joe approached and freed up the booth. The Pegasus took a newspaper from the nearby stand and began reading it. Joe placed a bit into the coin slot and waiting for the machine to click and ping in acceptance before putting the receiver to his ear.

“Yes, operator? Yeah, get me Equestria House.”

a few moments passed and a mare’s voice answered the phone. “Hello, Equestria House, Janeighca. This is Desire.”

“Hello, Equestria House? I’d like to speak with Governor Claymold, please. Tell him this is Con Mane, three-three-zero.”

“One moment please.”

Joe waited for about a minute for anypony to pick up. He glanced at his watch and looked over towards his driver who was impatiently rocking on his hooves in front of the carriage.

“Hello, Mr. Mane?” answered an older sounding stallion, “Have you arrived in Janeighca safely?

“Yeah the flight was fine.” Joe answered.

“Would you be interested in a pleasant lunch? Say around one o’clock?”

“Yeah, sure, dinner, one o’clock your place. I’ll bring flowers. Whatever.” Joe said in an impatient rush. “Listen! Did you you send a carriage to pick me up?”

“Why, no. I was under the impression that you didn't want a formal reception.”

“Dang right. I’ll see you soon, Governor. But I might be a tad late.”

Joe hung up the phone and exited the phone booth where the Pegasus was still reading his paper. Joe walked up to the driver.

“Are you all finished, Mr. Mane?” he said with a friendly smile.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go.”

Joe hopped into the carriage. The seat was actually padded and much more comfortable than any taxi he had ever ridden. The driver strapped himself to the harness.

The driver turned to Joe and asked, “Where would you like to go, sir? Equestria House?”

“Yeah, but I ain't in a hurry. Just take me for a ride.”

The driver tipped his hat with his hoof and then reared back on his hind legs. He took off at full speed down the road.

Nearby the grey Pegasus folded up his newspaper and calmly entered a taxi being drawn by a rather burly Zebra with a braided mane. The Zebra reared back and took off in the same direction as Joe.

The sunlight reflected off of the still waves of the Ponibean Sea in a dazzling display of glitter and sheen. The ocean air danced through Joe’s scruffy mane as the driver continued to gallop at full speed down the scenic road that passed by the cliffs that overlooked the sea. Although Joe enjoyed the cool breeze, the occasional bump on the uneven road made it difficult for him to enjoy the beautiful scenery around him. As the path continued further into the hills the road began to curve more liberally, but the driver did not let up on his pace. It was only after the cliff side wheel of the carriage nearly went over the edge at a particularly sharp corner that Joe had lost the sense of joy in the joyride.

“Don’t you think you’re going a bit fast there, buddy?” Joe called out to the driver.

The driver did not let up and continued his frantic pace. He turned his head just slightly to the side to communicate. “I’m sorry, sir, but the carriage behind us has been tailing us for the past 8 miles.”

“Oh has it now?”

Joe stretched his back and peered over the side of the cart. Several hoofspans behind his carriage was indeed a taxi. A Zebra, larger than any Zebra Joe had ever seen, drew the carriage in a determined gallop. His black and white mane was heavily braided into dread locks that fell over his bulging eyes. His nostrils flared with physical exertion. At the reigns was a Pegasus with a charcoal grey coat. He wore sunglasses over his eyes and, unlike his driver, looked calm and focused. His brilliant red mane blew behind him in the wind, giving the appearance of a roaring inferno. The tax was drawing ever closer to Joe’s carriage, fueled by the Zebra’s strength and determination. Joe even started to make out the Pegasus’ Cutie Mark-- a star with a tail of fire.

“You know them, sir?” The driver asked with a twinge of concern.

“Nope.” Joe coldly replied. “I think we oughta try and lose them.”

The driver thrust his neck forward and mustered all the strength he could pull from his Earth Pony body. Joe had always heard of the magical strength that Earth Pony’s were said to possess. He had never known whether the Earth Ponies’ abilities were magical in nature or not, but if there was ever a time for Joe to become a believer it was now. The driver’s hooves became a yellow blur. Joe could feel the once relaxing breeze on his face turn into a sharp wind. The wheels of the carriage creaked and cracked with stress. Joe turned around to check the taxi again. It was working! The taxi was pulling further and further away. The road led out of the hills and they were now galloping away from the ocean. As the cliff rocks slowly disappeared, dense shrubbery took their place. Joe clenched his hooves on the reins as he quickly looked for any form of respite on the road.

“There!” Joe shouted as he pointed his hoof to an easily dismissed dirt road that turned off from the main street. The road was being concealed by a rather large, overgrown bush. Joe helped direct the driver with the reins and the carriage sharply veered to the right. The wheels of the carriage blew up a maelstrom of dust that concealed their carriage as they hid behind the large bush. Joe held his breath as he listened intently on the growing sound of the gallops and wheels of the taxi that drew ever closer. The sounds reached the tip of the crescendo and then dissipated down the road. The taxi had passed them completely.

the driver breathed a heavy sigh of relief. That relief was lost however when a bizarre, tingling tightness enveloped his entire body. As his body was engulfed by a green light, he felt his hooves lifted from the ground and his body pulled out of the harness. He helplessly looked down at an angry Con Mane who was levitating him in the air with his horn.

Joe’s horn struggled slightly under the weight of a well built Earth Pony, but he held his magic steady.

“Wh-what’s going on?” Asked the panicked pony, “Let me go!”

“I think you and I need to have a little talk before your friends back there double back. who’re you working for?”

“I don't know what you are talking about.” The driver whimpered while he futilely squirmed around in the magic aura. “I was just sent to pick you up at the airdock!”

“Yeah? By who?”

“Um… Equestria House?”

Joe charged his horn and tightened the field around the driver. “Yeah and I’m an Alicorn Princess. Try again! Who told you I was coming? Talk or I’ll use my magic to crush you into custard.”

“Alright! Alright I’ll tell you! Just let me go!”

“Alright but no funny business.”

Joe didn't want to release the lying driver, but he really had no choice. His magic wouldn't have been able to hold him much longer due to his weight and constant squirming. Joe cut off his magic, letting his prisoner fall onto the heavy dirt road with a heavy thud. Joe’s temples throbbed with pain, but he fought against the urge to wince.

“See?” Joe said, “I’m a nice pony. Now talk!”

The driver slowly got back up on his hooves. He stumbled around a bit, so the fall must have hurt. Still quivering in fear, the driver pointed to a saddle bag sitting in a compartment behind the carriage’s harness.

“May I have a muffin first? I’m hungry.” said the shaking driver. Joe gave the driver a skeptical look. As Joe took a step closer, the driver swallowed hard then tried to smile innocently. “There are some in my saddlebag there. Please?”

Joe scoffed at the driver’s pathetic whimpers and levitated the saddle bag over to him. His horn and temples throbbed again but he couldn't risk turning his back on the driver. Joe opened the bag and cautiously looked through it’s contents. Joe couldn't see any weapons or traps and sure enough inside was a plastic baggy containing three muffins. Joe reach in and grabbed a muffin. He tossed it to the driver who nearly fumbled the catch.

“There. Happy?” Joe asked.

“Yes.” the driver replied, “Thank you.”

The driver took one large bite into the muffin. Joe the realized how hungry he truly was. He hadn't eaten anything since leaving Canterlot and he was craving for donuts. Joe was contemplating the idea of forcing his captive to share his baked goods when suddenly the muffin fell out of the pony’s hooves and into the dirt. His breathing suddenly became erratic. Joe saw his pupils widen. He choked and gagged as he wrapped his hooves around his throat. The driver almost fell to the ground in his spasms but Joe caught him.

Joe clenched his shoulder around the pony’s shoulders and shook him violently. ”What happened? What’d you do?”
The driver looked up at Joe with a sardonic smile.

“Curse… You…” said the driver is a painful rasp.

The driver’s eyes became glazed and vacant. Joe let go and allowed the body to drop to the ground. He carefully and cautiously picked up the muffin with the one, deadly bite taken out of it.

“I don't think I’m hungry anymore.” Joe said to himself.

Comments

[MagicKnight55]

Holy snap!

[Brandon Sky]

Death before dishonor says the cab driver I suppose?

Oh wait that was Joe's muffin. I thought the driver took some cyanide pastry or something. XD