Equine Recovery and Rehabilitation Association

by OneUppington

The Drop Off

DANDELION

Wow, these are some tall buildings.

I mean, fair enough. These hoomangs are taller than us, it’s their buildings, so they make them taller to accompany them. It’s just the way everything is taller… It’s like I’m home in Manehattan but managed to go back to foalhood.

…

You know, it only took me a few steps from this… car? Is that right? Anyway, I noticed something about this place after only the first five steps Rick and I did away from the thing.

It’s weird.

Manhattan is weird.

No, wait. Correction: This whole world is weird. Why am I stopping it at just this city? I should have figured that out from when he told me that this Gaia character doesn’t even exist.

They had to come up with their own alicorn princess because the princesses they have, of course, are hoomangs. These princesses don’t have any wings or horns, they just look like just run-of-the-mill earth-hoomangs. And where are the unicorn and pegasis hoomangs, anyway? Sure, I see a few different ponies in the busy crowd that is pedestrian traffic in a big city, but hoomangs? No. The only difference I see is male and female, that’s it. No offence to them, but… where’s the variety? It’s bad enough that most of them are roughly the same colours. Skin-wise, anyway. I haven’t seen much besides from pink to different shades of brown around here, is that all they got? No green? No purple? I mean for fu…

What the Tartarus is…?

There’s a book shop. There’s a quite modern looking book shop.

There’s a book shop is called ‘Twilight Sparkle’s’.

Why is there a book shop called ‘Twilight Sparkle’s’? They know about Princess Twilight here? Is this actually that dimension she went to? I mean, I know I deduced before it’s probably not, but seeing a book store named after the last pony I know that made a travel to a land of two-legged beings… Maybe I’m wrong? Maybe that world and this one is one and the same?

…

I might need to check this with Rick.

“Uh, pardon me, Mister Miff sir? But…”

Rick already saw the question coming. “What? You don’t think we heard about her and her friends? Especially when ponies start businesses and named them after those fillies. There’s a Pinkie Pie fast food franchise, an Apple Jack distillery, Fluttershy pet stores, Rainbow Dash energy drink, Rarity Jewellery, and of course…”

He turns to see the shop window.

“Twilight Sparkle’s Book Shop, with books from the anatomy of ants to how to tell the difference between a pony-world zebra and a human-world zebra. Specialises in Pony World imports. Just in case you feel a little homesick.”

“Pony World imports?”

He laughs as he looks at the store, again sounding like he’s in pain. “Yeah, sometimes a pony arrives with a book on them. We make copies of those books and sell them to these guys and they give us a percentage. The money goes to ERRA’s research to what’s making ponies arrive here. Which, we hope, finds a way to connect both worlds together someday. Maybe make a two-way passage…”

“You mean ERRA wants to put humans in Equestria?”

“Well, there are humans who want to see the pony world.”

“Why?”

“Why not? I wouldn’t mind visiting the Ohana Islands. Pineapple Rice makes it sound like a great place to holiday.”

I can only roll my eyes before I look into the shop window. Looks like they’re making a big deal out of… oh, that? Really? That old thing?

IT’S FINALLY ARRIVED AND UPDATED!
WOUNDSALT AND PRINTED PAGE PAGE PRESSER’S PONY WORLD PRAISED
‘THE BOYS FROM THE CORNER’

GET NOW WHILE STOCKS LAST!

I can’t believe why ponies give two craps about that book. Just a compilation of poems two colts from Canterlot wrote in a magazine that went bust years ago. Bucking stupid, really. That magazine never went to Manehattan, why should we even care?

… I always wanted to go to Canterlot, though. See a princess. A real princess. Not one of these earth-hoomang ones, not a false one they put on a badge for decorative sake, a real alicorn pony princess. Remind me of everything that I’ll never be…

…

“I’m guessing we’re a long way from that though, aren’t we? Y‘know… before the passageway?”

He shrugs. “Not our department. All we can do is get comfy and wait for someone over at HQ to give us the good news.”

…

His head tilts down to look at me. “Maybe we should go in? They might have a few books to help you out.”

I nod slowly. I feel like having a distraction to get my mind off living with Pineapple Rice for a week is a good idea.

---

PINEAPPLE RICE

“Really? Only just in Canterlot? Then why did they sell the book in Cumreign?”

Tongue Twist shrugs “I dunno, butt. But’s it’s a fantastic book, boyo. I’m so ‘appy somepony c’mere with it!”

I smile at the bookseller. “Okay, I’ll have one. Sounds like a good present for welcoming somepony to Earth.”

The red filly nods as she moves some of her green mane to show her horn glowing white, making the book hover from the back, to the desk. “Do you want it wrapped, Pineapple?”

“Please.”

Man, I remember when Twisty arrived. Right in my hammock in the office! I just came back to find her dressed for her friend’s wedding, screaming in her language and absolutely drunk off her flank. Thankfully she has a passion for different languages and knew how to speak Eng- I mean, Equestrian. It’s also very lucky that she always wanted to see the sights and sounds of Manehattan too. It’s why we decided to make her stay here instead of move her to Wales.

Save a plane trip, let the dream come true… Sorta.

“Hey, how long has it been when you came to Earth, now?”

“’Alf a year, tommorrow.”

“Really?”

She nods. “Henry and I are going out to that Italian restaurant down the street!”

“Wow, kudos to the both of you.”

“Ta!”

Wow. Six months, and here she is now. Working at Twilight Sparkle’s, sharing a nice apartment with Henry, found herself falling for the lucky guy… See, stories like Twisty’s makes me so happy to be a part of ERRA. Granted, Pony Rehabilitation’s not my department, but…

“Hello, PR. Fancy seeing you here.”

Woah… they’re in the city already? I thought I had at least half an hour.

I turn around to meet my… very tall… very intimidating… boss.

I swear he wears that eye patch only to creep me the hell out. Don’t show it, Pineapple. Mama Rice didn’t raise a cowardly colt!

“Evening, Mister Miff, sir! Just thought I’d buy my new friend a few books about being on Earth.”

“Are you now? Funny, I thought of doing the same thing. Great minds think alike after all.”

Okay, I think that was a joke. Yep! He’s… smiling! At least I think he’s smiling! Laugh!

“Heh, heh, heh, heh… Good one sir!”

Goddess bless him for trying, but it’s like laughing at a car crash.

“Well, since you are here…”

He turns to his side to reveal… A unicorn that’s clearly not happy to be here.

Okay, fair enough, it’s been a hard day for her but… man, that’s a grumpy pony. Good thing I already got some incense back home, that’ll help her chill down a bit.

Besides from looking not so mellow, she looks really tough! Her golden brown mane cut to chin height, an awesome cutie mark of a lion coming out of the ground, a very tidy police-mare’s uniform minus the…

Is that blood on the collar?

---

DANDELION

Oh goddess, this is what ERRA has for detectives? He’s wearing a flower shirt! His leafy green mane is long enough to hit his shoulders! He’s got a ukulele! What kind of pony in a task force carries around a ukulele? Where the hell’s his crossbow? His badge? His uniform? I’ve only been here a few hours, yet I feel like I’m the one who’s the senior.

“Officer Dandelion, this is Pineapple Rice. Pineapple Rice, this is Officer Dandelion.”

He gets closer with his hoof out. “Aloha! Welcome to Earth!”

Aloha? Oh sweet Cadence, he still thinks of himself as that Ohanan tourist from back in the day. That’s just sad. You’d think since he practically grew up here he’d get a manecut, drop the ukulele, put on a tie and actually look like he’s got a job here.

Buck it, just thank him.

“Thanks. So this is where you’ve been, huh? Here all this time?”

“Well, most of the time.” He giggles, cocking his head at an angle. “Popped up in Hawaii, hung around there a while before Rick offered a job here.”

“Hava-ee?”

“Yeah! It’s pretty much the same as Ohana Islands. Seriously, I thought I was back home when it happened. Super freaky, right?”

“I bet.”

Well, if I got to give him credit for anything, he seems like a very energetic and kind pony. Probably not good for detective work, but if he was taking ponies under his wing like this on a frequent basis, it’ll be perfect for him.

“Well, I’ll leave her to you, Rice.” bows the one-eyed human, as he turns to leave. “As of right now, Protocol 15 is in action.”

“Woah, woah, woah! Sir, do you mind if I just go back an-”

The boss gave the Beach-bum Pegasus a look that’ll kill a cockatrice.

“R-right. Yes sir. Protocol 15.”

And with that, Miff gives us a head bow as he leaves the store. I got to ask.
“What’s Protocol 15?”

Pineapple Rice turns to me.

“It means I’m on paid leave until the Greenswiches come back from their honeymoon and we’re not allowed into the precinct unless it's an emergency."

"Sounds understandable."

"I guess... but I left my phone at work."

Author's Note:

I just couldn't resist than in-joke... Also, spoilers!

Comments

[Sunrise Bits]

I'm loving this story, keep up the good work!

[OneUppington]

4972169 Thank you

[s1]

4972174
Nice story so far man. But I have some questions for this story.
Q1. Are there already some humans/ponies couple there before Dandelion appear on Earth?
Q2. I know that ponies gets send to Earth. But are there some few exceptions that rarely happen like some Griffons or Minotaurs appearing on Earth? And if there, are we going to see some making an appearance in this story?

[OneUppington]

4974720 Thanks!

And to answer your questions:
1. Yes. In fact, the Henry that Tongue Twist is with is human. There will be others as we continue... maybe.
2. I never really thought about other species until now... however, I've got a character in my head right now that hasn't got a species... maybe I should make them a griffon! See, this is why I love doing long-as-hell fics, because it's ponies like you that give me amazing ideas!

[OneUppington]

4978450 Yeah... Perhaps I should find me an editor.

[OneUppington]

4985897 In the same way as any other bank transaction.

thegroupiesunite.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/screw-standard.jpg

[MrZJunior]

4986109
Assuming they are made out of gold seems a bit presumptuous. Besides, wouldn't it depend on hoe big each bit is?

Besides, the story specifically states that they were paper bits.

[MrZJunior]

4986024
But bits would be worthless in the human world outside of being curiosity pieces.

[OneUppington]

4988445 Hmm... true. Perhaps a law was passed to make it an actual currency somewhere? I'll try to fix this plothole somewhere down the line ... You know something, I should let Dandelion bring this up in the the story. This seems like something somepony new would ask about.

[SolangeEggbert]

4988445 'only as curiosities' - the coin collector market is quite large, and pretty much everyone would want a bit or a complete set.
Plus - depending on what they are made of, there may be considerable value in them - gold, for example.