The Non-Relic

by Zackrobbman

#1 Chaos...I HATE chaos

It was a beautiful and…chaotic day in the Everfree forest. The trees stood tall over the overgrown landscape, blocking out the sun it an attempt to stop that overgrowth. Unfortunately, when one is this deep in the Everfree, the plants find other ways to grow. Their roots reach out of the ground and grab whatever they have the strength to pull under into their acidulous pits. It’s because of this that not many animals roam these woodlands, although it wasn’t really their choice since they never expected the dandelions to try and eat them. Yes, the depths of the Everfree are something no mammal has ever seen. Adventurers have all gone in looking for the fabled crown of the civilization that once thrived here, but none have returned. Their causes of death may have all very well been the carnivorous plants, but take it from me. There are other, things to be afraid of in this haven of evil.

Because of her nature, Ms. Do ignored the un-proven legends of the guardian that was said to have guarded the center of the Everfree since its creation. These rumors were made up as excuses as to why adventurers never came back, but Daring was soon to find out that they were true. She had her grandfather’s instincts, and that’s what saved her from the plants. They looked far too peaceful and harmless to reside in the Everfree. She made up a rule to stay far away from them at all cost, but this didn’t protect her for long, as adventurers before her had picked up on the oddity.

She was about to sit and take a break from her week long journey when her hoof stepped on something. She looked down and jolted. She had just smashed somepony’s skeletal remains. She stepped back and instinctively looked around. The remains were everywhere. A rib here, a wing there, a horn barely hanging on to a unicorns skull, she’d practically stepped into one of mother-natures many graveyards. She began to feel sick. Of course, Daring had seen her fair share of remains, but these weren’t the remains of forgotten civilizations. Daring squinted as she looked at the clothes that still hung onto them. They were all adventurers before they met their end. One of them had the apparel of an earth pony that went missing over two hundred years ago during a trip around the world in a blimp. His name was Wind Drift and she’d idolized him as a child. She wanted to be just like him.

Daring managed a fearful chuckle before realizing something. Her childhood idol disappeared in a blimp. How did he end up down here, dead? Her ear twitched when she heard the sickening sound. She jumped back before a green vine could pin her to the earth from above. She looked up to see dozens more, unraveling from the branches of the trees like spear-headed snakes. Instead of running away, Daring bounded forward, narrowly avoiding the vines that speared the earth. She didn’t come all this way to run away. During their unraveling, more skeletal remains dropped from above and burst apart. One of them revealed an old, but sharp machete that Daring picked up in her mouth as she ran. More vines slung down in front of her in an attempt to deter her path, but she sliced right through them with no problems. Well, almost. The vines began to become much more aggressive as she kept running, occasionally scraping her face and body. She didn’t know how she was still alive. She knew her instincts wouldn’t last forever as she struggled to dodge the vines. She needed a way to get away from the trees. They seemed to be everywhere though. She noticed that these trees weren’t really made of bark. They looked more like giant, bumpy plant stems with vines instead of leaves.

Daring’s brain ran through her options. When she looked left and right, she could only see more of these blood-thirsty trees increasing in number. Her determined glare faltered a bit at the thought of her running out of breath and dying, but she shook the thought away. She needed to keep her fire burning until she could figure out what to do. She soon realized that the trees didn’t have eyes. Her eyes widened as she thought of other ways blind animals could see. The vines got her to thinking about spiders. How did some of them know that some poor unsuspecting fly had been caught in their web.

Vibrations.

Daring stopped running and started leaping, making her impacts less frequent. Just as she’d hoped, the vines started becoming less and less accurate until their impacts lagged several feet behind her. She looked back and smiled at her progress. That’s why she didn’t see where the ground ended. After noticing that her front hooves hadn’t connected yet, she looked down only to see complete darkness. Her eyes widened and she had to fight back the urge to yelp in order to keep her machete. She looked in front of her and saw that she was next to a dirt wall. She clenched her teeth and stuck her machete deep into it to stop herself from falling.

She considered herself extremely fortunate that she constantly chewed gum while writing and that the adventurer who had bought the machete wasn’t cheap. Being a Pegasus helped with the weight issue. She hung there for a while as she gazed up the steep fissure she was in. From her position, she could tell that some kind of earthquake had split earth apart, leaving the large fissure. She could also see that the fissure was bending around on both sides of her, making her think that it formed a circle. She’d robbed…”explored” many temples in the past that had been separated from the land by large ditches filled with water and hungry alligators. This didn’t seem like any of those since it appeared bottomless and there weren’t any amphibious predators to speak of. It really did seem as if the ground just gave way and fell to the center of the earth.

Daring shook her head to clear her mind of the pointless thoughts and started thinking about why something hadn’t shot out of the dirt and killed her. Were there really no carnivorous plants anywhere inside where she was hanging from? Daring waited a little longer, listening for sounds inside of the dirt wall. When she heard nothing, her pupils darted from side to side to make sure there weren’t any plants that could take her down from an aerial position. Sure, the vines only reacted to vibrations, but she didn’t want to find out first-hoof how the trees brought down her idol’s blimp. The only reason she began to flap her wings was because there seemed to be no pony-eating vegetation ahead of where she fell from, so maybe there weren’t any trees capable of taking down a blimp either? She yanked the machete out of the dirt before flying upwards slowly. She was primed and ready for something to jut out at her from either side of the chasm, but nothing happened. As she approached the top of the chasm, her heart began to beat faster. Nothing excited her more than temples. She just couldn’t help it. Seeing one was always undeniable proof that her research, efforts, and time didn’t amount to nothing.

She peeked over the edge with a giddy smile once she was ground level.

It was…

It was…

Not there?

Daring’s expression went from giddy, to shocked, to seething anger. Was she wrong? There weren’t even any trees. Just a weedy grass plain that stretched half a mile or so in all directions from the center. She was right about the chasm being a circle, making the grassy plain an island. That explained why nothing was actively trying to maul her. Or eat her. Or turn her into stone. Or, based on what happened with that fifty-foot radioactive snake she encountered the first day inside, disintegrate her.

She would’ve been grateful if she wasn’t on the verge of tears with anger. She’d spent three years researching this place, just trying to prove it existed. It took another year to find it. Everything she’d gone through the past few weeks had proved that the Everfree had an origin. She flew up and landed on the island and tried to calm herself. Maybe there was a hidden button around somewhere? That’s how it usually happened. Yes, she was just too excited to think about it. She resisted the urge to throw her pith-helm on the ground to stomp on it and resolved to look for the entrance. It had to be underground. She flew up just below the tops of the trees just to be cautious and scanned the area.

Aside from a few rocks here and there, she couldn’t see anything. Aside from the fact that she was probably flying above the center of the Everfree and not noticing anything weird, nothing stood out. She decided to land and inspect the ground meticulously out of desperation. A fear began to rise in her gut. What if it was like the opal filly catastrophe? What if she needed to visit three other temples to assemble the key in order to open this one? Her breathing began to increase in pace as she began galloping around looking for something…anything that would resemble an entrance or a button.

Nothing.

She felt like a tea kettle about to pop. She was tired, dehydrated, starving, and she just wanted to go home at that point. Yes, when she got home, she’d write a VERY irate book full of reasons why the person who started the rumor and set the clues should be brought back from the dead to be murdered over and over.

With a spoon. Slowly, inefficiently, murdered with a spoon.

“RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!” Daring swung the machete into the air and opened her mouth to watch it fly. She wanted to rate the amount of anger she had exhibited by seeing how far she’d launched it, but she was going to be very disappointed. The ground underneath her shook and she heard a very loud humming noise. She frantically looked around and hovered up off the ground just in case plant-zilla was about open its mouth and eat her. Something stung the side of her cheek and she winced. The feeling was followed by the sight of the machete she’d thrown embedding itself into the dirt upright. She instantly noticed how the dirt made a loud clanging noise when the machete hit. She focused on the machete and her mind raced as warm blood oozed from the cut on her face.

The velocity at which the machete had been soaring didn’t match up with how deep it should have gone into the dirt. It made a clanging noise when it hit. How did it come back in the first place? My cheek stings. Hope that machete wasn’t contagious. Why is the ground shaking? What’s making that loud humming noise? Should I fly away? No. The trees will bring me down. I’d have to gallop on hoof-

…

What’s that purple stuff pulsating like a vein below the grass?

There was indeed a purple glow that pulsated under the ground beneath her. They looked like veins and each time they pulsated, the glow would become brighter. Daring decided to continue hovering where she was and readied herself for danger. The purple veins began to appear outside of the island and throughout the carnivorous plant-life around it. She heard cracking and what sounded like something being stretched as she watched the trees grow even bigger than they were. Somewhere below her, she heard a loud roar that added to the vibrations throughout the ground and created ones in the air. At that point, Daring had no idea what was happening but one thing was for sure. The purple veins were creating these evil plants and they were originating from somewhere below the temple-less island.

After a few more minutes, the pulsating veins disappeared and the shaking and humming gradually faded. Daring remained in the air for a few more minutes and watched the landscape wide-eyed for any other oddities. When she was half-way certain that nothing else was going to happen, she began to think again.

So this really IS the center of the Everfree. It DOES exist. The only problem is that there’s nothing to bring back with me because there is no TEMPLE! All I’ve got is that stupid..rusty…machete…

Daring’s gaze averted from the invisible force she was thinking at to the machete still embedded into the ground. She slowly began to hover down towards it. After landing, she moved in closer to examine the ground it was embedded in. She bopped the machete on top with her hoof a few times before feeling and hearing it hitting something metal. She raised her eyebrow with a smirk and began to dig at the ground with her hooves.

After she dug away the dirt keeping the machete upright, it fell to the metal ground she was now staring at. What she noticed first was that it looked completely spotless despite the dirt and the machete. It looked like pure chrome. She began to dig around it a bit more and uncovered more chrome ground, also spotless. It was as if all the years hadn’t effected it in the least. This piqued her interest and she began digging all over. She uncovered bumps in the chrome where she remembered seeing the purple glow. Her giddiness was returning full force as she frantically dug holes everywhere. Questions arose in her mind that she knew had juicy answers. At that moment, she was wondering why a temple would be made out of chrome metal instead of the usual old and decayed stone. She was also wondering why it seemed to act as a magnet to the machete. Was the whole thing just some giant magnet? Was that the reason the Everfree was so deadly? She shook her head. She was fairly certain that the Everfree was created by chaotic magic, a blemish left behind from Discord’s reign. It didn’t seem too far-fetched for chaos to create a chrome temple. She’d even read somewhere that chaotic magic had a tendency to attract metal objects.

Daring began to imagine what it would be like to be the pony that stopped the flow of chaos magic throughout the Everfree, restoring it to its once peaceful state. She’d probably go down in history as the greatest adventurer of all time! No, she’d become the coolest pony period! All she’d have to worry about would be the publicity. Daring preferred to remain anonymous to the world as fame increased for her amazing persona.

Daring shook her head again. First, she’d need to find a way inside if there was a way. Then she’d have to survive whatever twisted and unpredictable traps awaited below. She was sure they would be like nothing she’d ever seen, and that was really saying something. She also knew that there probably wasn’t some relic down there that would cause the whole place to collapse like the other temples.

Or was there?

Something was creating the chaos and she had an instinctive hunch that it wasn’t the chrome. Maybe there really was some relic down there that served as the source of the temple’s chaos. What baffled her was the relic’s power. Discord surely couldn’t have imbued some object with enough chaotic energy to last this long and generate this much power. Even if he were the source of the temples power, it would have died off long ago. He wasn’t some all-powerful deity, and neither were any of the princesses. This sent a shiver down Daring’s spine. Perhaps she was a little in over her head? Who’s to say that this relic wouldn’t vaporize her with its raw amount of power if she dared to look at it?

…

Daring chuckled. She continued digging around as she searched for an entrance or at least some kind of button. She’d been digging up the grass and dirt for at least half an hour when she noticed the burning sensation on her chest. She looked down and noticed a faint glow coming from one of her lapel pockets. Her gaze dead-panned up before she face-hoofed.

“Duh!” she said before opening the lapel and pulling out the glowing red object with her teeth and setting it on the top of her right hoof. She’d completely forgotten about it in her strained efforts to stay alive. The Indescribable Object.

Before Daring set off on her journey, she did lots research on chaos and potential leads to the temple. She’d come across a chapter about an indescribable object that was found on a mare’s doorstep a few hundred years after Discord’s reign. The book could provide no explanation as to what the object looked like nor could anyone draw it. It was simply impossible. In fact, a pony could go completely bonkers if one looked at it for too long or tried to describe it. Daring had a hunch that she’d need it and set out for Canterlot where it was last seen. She knew that she’d get no-where asking royalty about such an infamous object and decided to go to the very-well-hidden Canterlot black market. Long-story short, she got the artifact and was chased out of Canterlot by a flock of extremely angry Griffons that planned to “invite her over for dinner”.

Like the book said, she couldn’t look directly at it for too long. It seemed to be made out every mineral the earth provided. It gave her a headache and hurt her eyes. She wanted to keep it close to her person and decided to put it in her chest-pocket. It was a good call, seeing as she’d lost her back-pack on the way to the temple. Again.

It didn’t occur to her that the object might have been a key, since she couldn’t tell if it looked like one.

Daring could tell through her peripheral vision that the object was glowing orange. If experience had taught her anything, it was that things tend to glow when they react to something. The artifact had to be glowing because of its proximity to the temple. Daring took a few experimental steps forward and noticed the object get brighter. She began galloping forward and the artifact kept glowing brighter with each step.

And hotter.

“D-OW!” Daring yelped before wrenching her hoof from under the artifact, causing it to clang against the chrome. She stepped back and shielded her eyes as it became still brighter. She noticed that the strong glow was beginning to shake violently, almost as if it were going to explode. Realizing this, Daring turned tail and ran away from the artifact. Her hoof caught on one of the chrome’s veins and she fell over it.

That’s what saved her.

The artifact did in fact explode, sending a searing hot, bright orange wave of destruction in all directions. The chrome vein Daring tripped over was just high enough to shield her from the blast, singing the top of her hat.

The explosion was short-lived however. The wave seared off all of the remaining grass on the island in less than half a second, taking out some of the trees on the other side of the chasm. All that remained on the island was the glowing hot chrome and the petrified Pegasus still on her stomach, holding her burning pith-helm over her head.

She didn’t want to move for a while. Even through she’d avoided the blast, she still felt like someone had poured boiling water on her back. Sure, she was daring, but that didn’t mean she was fearless. Being fearless and stupid was a very quick way to get an adventurer killed. In this case, it was fear that kept her from becoming a cloud of ash that would join the other victims of the Everfree.

When she was sure that the explosion was over, she slowly rose on all fours and turned around, the air still hot from the blast. There, where the artifact was supposed to be, was something that Daring had expected to make no sense given the circumstances.

A door knob. With a hey-hole. Just lying on the ground.

Daring just stared at it with a dumbfounded expression. Out of all the questions she had piling up, only one seemed to matter. Did she need another key? The artifact was all that she had on her. She licked her hoof and put out the flame on her pith helm, hoping that it would help her mind cool down. Should she go over to the door knob and pull it? Would it explode? A noise coming from behind her interrupted her thoughts and made her turn around quickly. Some of the glowing orange heat that was blanketing the chrome was…falling up into the air like drops of water. Daring watched as the heat left the chrome and gathered up into a large glowing ball of hot air. Then suddenly, the glowing ball quickly shrank and condensed into a small, golden, key. It fell to the ground with a high-pitched clang.

This is why Daring hated chaos. It made no sense and rendered her experience useless. Then, as if to irritate her further, a chrome cylindrical pedestal quickly elevated out of the ground like clay, sending the key into the air. Daring watched the key like a starving manticore and had to resist the urge to fly up and get it. When the key came back down, it landed in the palm of a chrome…hand? The cylindrical pedestal had formed a hand at the end of it and had extended even more to form an arm. She knew what hands were because of Diamond dogs and Minotaur’s, but this hand was different. Instead of just four fingers, there were five, and they didn’t look as bulky as the ones she’d seen. The chrome hand tossed the key up and down playfully before throwing it straight over Daring’s head. She flinched and turned around to see another hand protrude out of the chrome and catch it. The key then glowed brightly before shaping itself into a ball. Another arm popped out of the ground close to the one holding the “ball” but instead of a hand, it had a baseball glove. The hand and the glove threw the ball back and forth before the un-gloved hand reared back suddenly after catching it. Daring’s eyes widened and she ducked down before the hand could launch the ball in her direction with alarming speed. A loud crack soon followed that reminded Daring of a bat hitting a baseball. She twisted around to see that the cause of such a noise was in fact a baseball bat. A faceless chrome head had extended out of the ground and had one hand over its eyes as it looked up to the sky. Daring couldn’t help but notice just how weird the head looked. It had no muzzle and its face generally looked lit had been mashed in. Nevertheless, she followed the heads gaze up to the sky where she saw a light becoming smaller and smaller. The key.

Just when she thought it was leaving the planet, it exploded. Into a thousand, tiny, little pieces. Daring watched dumbstruck as her only means of entering the temple was blown to smithereens. After she was sure that the pieces weren’t going to chaotically mend themselves into some other senseless object, her gaze slowly lowered to where the head and arms used to be. They were gone. She looked left and right, her anger and patience thinning at the sheer ridiculousness of what just happened. She kept pointlessly asking herself the same question over and over.

Why?

The head and the hands were no-where to be seen. She felt the need to yell at them, but since she couldn’t find them, she resigned to yelling at the air.

“JERKS! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?” Daring yelled as she stomped her hoof, hoping the chrome beings could feel it. “You don’t even…wha-…I hate you all! You’re all BASTARDS! This whole quest is a BASTARD!”

“Mustard?”

Daring’s vision was suddenly enveloped in yellow by a goop-like substance. She didn’t try to wipe it away. She let it ooze down her face onto the ground, knowing by the smell that it was in fact mustard. The anger that radiated in her red eyes burned like a wild-fire when she opened them. Her teeth were gritted and she could feel herself shaking with murderous hatred. Her face was as red as a tomato, and one could probably see the steam coming out of her ears.

The being in front of her looked almost exactly like Discord himself in all his ridiculously irritating glory. It had the same yellow eyes with red pupils, the same lions paw, the same skinny, griffon’s hand, the same goat snout, the same dragons tail, snake-like body, and everything. The only difference was that it was completely made of chrome, its eyes being the only things that retained their color. It towered over Daring by a good ten feet. She could see the mustard bottle squeezed inward in his left, griffon’s hand. The look on its face was one of amusement and anticipation.

“…Ponies.” Said the chrome draconeous with an unamused expression. “You never get the jokes. No, you never do.”

“Where’s the key?” Daring asked quickly, the tone of her voice strained with ferocity and frustration. The draconeous merely raised one of its slender eyebrows and stared at her for a while. It then shook its head and bent its snake-like frame in several ninety-degree angles, eliciting dozens of snaps and pops. After it was satisfied with its millennial stretches, it sighed and smiled with relief.

Then its paw quickly raised into the air and produced a glowing, golden, key.

“This key?” Teased the draconeous.

“YES!” Daring shouted with conflicted feelings of triumph and anger. The chrome copy proceeded to lower it to Daring with a calm expression that would have resembled kindness had its eyes not defied every notion of such a thing. Daring, not one to hesitate in situations like this, quickly swiped her hoof at the key, knocking it into the air with a high-pitched clang. She then caught it in her teeth and backed away from the draconeous, fearing further frustration. Or death.

She was not spared.

In an instant, the key grew tiny legs and arms. The sudden formation caused Daring to open her mouth in an abrupt yelp, allowing the now fully mobile key to make its escape. Daring watched it scurry back to the chrome Draconeous, proceeding to hide behind one of its mismatched legs.

Daring’s gaze narrowed at the key with seething anger, then that same gaze went to the draconeous.

“Oh dear.” It said as it lowered its weird head down to look at the key cowering behind it’s leg. “It appears that you’ve frightened it with your complete lack of manners or scruples. Just look at the little guy.” It picked the key up slowly hefted it onto its shoulder where it lightly patted the key like a sobbing baby.

Daring began to wonder many things at that moment. She didn’t know if it was out of anger or her lack of food or water, but she began to wonder if any of it was real. The key. The temple. The center of the Everfree. What if it was all just some big, cruel prank by discord? Just a trap to ensnare and kill over-zealous adventurers? What if the real Discord hadn’t actually reformed, and was watching her right now, laughing it up over a bowl of chocolate dip and paper. In fact, what if she was dead? Was this what pony-hell was like? What if was all just some big dream she was having that she couldn’t wake up from? What if the center of the chaos had another center and she’d gone too far into it to keep a grip on reality? Chaos-ception?

Daring could feel her eyes drifting into opposite directions and shook her head to focus on her current goal. Killing the chrome draconeous. No, wait. That’s not right. The key. Yes, she needed to get that key back from the draconeous. She could think about killing him later if it were possible.

“Just…give me the key.” Said Daring while trying to fight back a migraine. The draconeous laughed before snapping a talon. The key went up in flames instantly and its expression turned serious.

Then Daring got that sinking feeling.

Her eyes shot down to see her hooves sinking into the chrome like quicksand. She instinctively flapped her wings but was met with another strange feeling. She looked behind her to see they were gone. Ignoring the shock, she tried to free her hooves from the chrome but to no avail. It wasn’t like she was sinking into quicksand. It as if she were sinking into a big, sticky wad of gum. Her eyes dilated when she realized just how screwed she was about to be.

“Foolish mare.” Said the draconeous with the same scowl discord would have before getting serious. “There is no key. I decide who goes into the temple and who doesn’t. “

The sticky, goo-like chrome was already above her belly and beginning to reach her neck.

“There’s a reason I tried to incinerate you. Ponies are not allowed here.”

The chrome goo had completely enveloped her body and was now getting close to her muzzle. She began to run over dozens of possible escape scenarios in her mind.

Ok, ok. Relax. How have you gotten out of situations like this in the past? Right, I don’t have my whip with me. There’s also nothing to lasso to even if I did have it. Losing time. Sinking much slower now, but still sinking. Next plan. I could persuade it to give me a hand with the time that I can still use my mouth. Retard. The hand would just pop off as soon as I bit it. There’s probably nothing to bargain with anyway.

“You should have stayed away.” continued the draconeous. “The countless adventurers before you should have been enough reason to turn back and never return. Now, I’m going to turn you into yet another example of why ponies should keep their snouts out of other’s business.”

Crap! Better take in a big gulp of air!

Daring managed to do just that before the chrome goo began to cover her snout. Now she couldn’t breathe if she wanted to. She had to close her eyes a little to keep the chrome out of them.

“Don’t worry though. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a monster. I’ll only proceed to mutilate and present your body after you suffocate and die. I’m sure that Daring Do’s eviscerated corpse will be much more than enough reason to leave this place alone. I don’t enjoy killing ponies, but I have my orders.” The draconeous chuckled. "Heh. Orders."

Daring had to fully close her eyes as the chrome goo started to cover her head. This added to the panic she was experiencing, and that wasn’t good for her lungs. Her heart was beating too fast and demanding too much energy, which she needed oxygen to provide. She wouldn’t be able to hold her breathe for long. Even then, she was beginning to strain. She couldn’t believe that she was actually about to die. She had family in Canterlot. They were never very nice to her, but she knew they loved her. It was just tough love. How would they feel after not seeing another letter from her? They’d get worried sick and set out to find her. They would find the note laid on her dresser next to her bed. The letter telling them that she was most-likely dead. How would they feel? They took pride in their daughter and devoted so much work and time trying to prepare her for her adventurous life. Her father taught her the essentials of hoof-to-hoof combat and how to strategize in seemingly over-whelming situations. Her mother taught her the meaning of her cutie mark and how to use her knack for adventure and resourcefulness. She’d even shared some of her own adventures she’d had with her father. He parents had saved the world countless times before Daring was born. Daring and her parents hoped she’d be able to keep the figurative torch burning bright and do the same.

Daring could feel her eyes watering as the goop fully submerged them. Her lungs were screaming for air. Her ears were still above goo-level and she could hear the freak of nature humming a dirge. She hated him. Her hatred helped her forget about a her straining lungs for just a few more seconds before the reality of her situation dawned on her once more.

She was really about to die.

Of course I’m about to die! This is the freaking center of the Everfree! What, did I think I was just going to waltz in here and do my thing like the rest of them? Stupid. Just…stupid.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP

“…Hm? What’s this?”

Daring now only had about a few seconds of endurance left. She could hear her heart going crazy as it strained to keep her body running on the remaining oxygen in her lungs. Usually, in situations like this one, Daring would always escape at the last second. Not this time. Unable to take it anymore, she breathed in the goo. Her body shook and vibrated from the lack of air as she began to black out.

*COUGH*

Daring’s eyes shot open as she coughed and tried to breathe in. For a few seconds her brain wasn’t even working, relying solely on instincts. She kept trying to breathe, but felt something constructing her air way. She turned over and proceeded to cough out the now fluid chrome that was in her lungs. It tasted horrible, although her brain wasn’t alive enough to assign a word to it. Or to make any words really.

“Oh, great!” said an alarmingly familiar voice. Daring turned her head to see two, mismatched legs standing by her. After coughing out the last remaining goo, she wiped her mouth and wiped the strained tears out of her eyes. She looked up through squinted eyes to make out the chrome freaks snake-like body and head. Her vision was hazy, but she couldn’t mistake it’s red, insane eyes. Her brain tried to make words.

“…Hu-…Whabidda…whaba…haa-“

“I thought you were a goner!” spoke the chrome copy. “One more second in that goo, and I might not have been capable of bringing you back. At least, not without some major…changes.” With that last bit, a bunch of electrical pony appendages and surgery equipment fell to the ground right behind his back. The draconeous smiled sheepishly.

Daring coughed a few more times and took a couple breaths as her brain began to turn on. This had happened to her many times before in the past, so she had some experience piecing her brain back together through the use of several questions.

Head injury? No. Don’t feel any pain top-side. Gagged or strangled? Sort of feels like it. I coughed up some stuff. Either it was blood from an internal injury or I drowned.

With that thought, Daring looked down to the ground in an attempt to find out what she’d coughed up. She saw nothing but a smooth, silvery surface below her. She noticed that she wasn’t wet either. It confused her, but the being standing next to her confused her more. Did he say that he brought her back? Why? Who was this strange thing next to her? Daring looked up again to get a look at its face.

“D…Discord?” Daring said between breaths. The draconeous smiled and chuckled.

“No, no, no. I’m no where NEAR that good-looking. Anyway, names are for friends. So you’ll just have to make something up.” So it wasn’t friendly. What else could one expect from a chrome draconeous? “If you’re wondering why you feel like you just recently passed, it’s because I tried to kill you.” Daring’s eyes went wide and she clumsily stood up. He had tried to kill her? Why? Didn’t matter at the moment. The main question was rather he’d try to do it again. It was at that moment that she realized that she was completely bare aside from the shirt she wore. Even her wings were gone. Her pith helm was missing, and that didn’t sit well with her. She looked all over the ground for it and finally noticed how dark it was. She had woken up in a literal small circle of light with nothing but darkness surrounding it. She looked up for the source of the light and found nothing but more darkness. This made her oddly sensitive noggin feel even colder as she stared up at the bottomless pit above her. She started to walk out of the circle when something grabbed her tail and yanked her back.

“Ah, ah, ah!” said the chrome creature. Daring looked back at him irritably. “You are inside THE temple of chaos. You especially should know the consequences of leaping before you look.” To illustrate his point, he suddenly materialized a cage of birds in front of him and opened the latch to the cage’s door to let out one bird before quickly closing it. The bird flew into the dark nothingness, glad to be free.

Now, have you ever heard a bird scream? I’m not talking about a very loud chirp, I mean screaming. Screaming like an actual per-AHEM, pony. This is what Daring heard when the sound of it’s flapping wings was suddenly silenced and replaced by crunching, ripping, chewing noises followed by deep, loud grunts. The scream the bird let out exhibited so much agony and terror that it would forever haunt Daring’s dreams and further remind her of their sentiency. After one final crunch, chewing noises followed and resonated throughout the abyss. When they stopped, Daring heard what sounded like something very big swallowing a meal.

Daring was frozen in place, not wanting to move. That could have been her. She jolted and stepped back towards the draconeous when two, glowing red eyes suddenly opened in the darkness from where she heard the bird scream. They were perfect circles, staring deep into Daring’s frightened soul. She wished the eyes looked more sinister, more evil, but no. Just two glowing dots filled with insanity not known to pony-kind. She felt a shiver run up her spine.
…Wait, did he say that she was IN the temple of chaos?

Glad to look away from the eyes, she looked up at the draconeous.

“I’m in the temple?” she asked, as if she hadn’t heard him right.

“Did I not just say that?” replied the draconeous. “There are most likely dozens of questions in your tiny pony brain regarding what has, and is happening. Allow me to explain!” The circle of light suddenly expanded and caused Daring to immediately turn back to look at the eyes.

They were still there, but seemed to be the same distance outside of the circle that they had been before it was augmented. She still felt nervous about them though. Something suddenly kicked her hind legs out from under her and caused her to fall onto her flank onto something soft. She looked down to see a puffy, red, pillow with an elegant shape and design she’d gotten used to seeing in Canterlot. She turned back around and saw that the draconeous was now sitting in a chair by a lit fireplace. He was adorned in a brown and red robe with some reading glasses while neatly sipping a cup of what looked like hot chocolate. Daring’s pillow slid closer to the chrome-copy on its own accord and a glass of water appeared in front of her.

After looking back and forth at the draconeous and the cup of water for a minute or so, she came to the conclusion that he could easily kill her if he wanted and had no real reason to do what he was doing. Technically that unsettled her even more, but what could she do about it? Daring grabbed the glass with both hooves and gulped the icy water down in less than three seconds. Having some fresh, cold water in her gut after so long made her feel a little nauseous, but she held the contents of her stomach.

“Now, if you’re all settled in, I can begin.” Stated the draconeous as he set the cup on a plate on top of his head.

“A long, LONG time ago, my creator, Discord, took over Esquestria and ruled with a rubber fist. Times were great back then. There were no laws of physics or any laws in general to dampen the fun. It was complete chaos, just the way it should be. As you may know, Celestia and her brick-headed sister ended his reign by turning him into stone with the power of friendship.” The draconeous said that last word with a shudder, as if he were going throw up from the sheer stupidity of the statement. “However, Discord didn’t go down without a fight. He sum-…what?” The draconeous looked up towards the nothingness and squinted. Daring looked up to see why he stopped but saw nothing. She looked back at him and raised an eyebrow in doubt of the creatures sanity.

“What do you mean I’m spoiling the story? …You’ve got to be kidding me!” Daring began to feel even more uncomfortable knowing that the only thing keeping her away from that…thing in the abyss around them was a heartless fake, draconeous, thing that was actively having a mental break-down. She listened nervously as he continued to talk to his imaginary friend.

“If you’re a good writer, you can just find a way around it! …No, that would-…No, I agree that ambiguity goes with creativity but-…What do you mean I don’t know anything about writing?! I came from YOUR head! You’re basically talking to your SELF! …Don’t talk to ME about laws! YOU’RE breaking the fourth wall!...Pinkie Pie has nothing-…FINE!” With that, the draconeous’s robe, his fire-place, his chair, and Daring’s pillow erupted into flames with the snap of a talon. Fortunately, Daring wasn’t sitting on the pillow. She had a gotten up and started to back away before remembering the eyes. The draconeous gave a dead-pan stare as he proceeded to summarize his story and skip to the end.

“Long-story short, “ began the draconeous. “Discord built this temple as the center of all the chaos in the Everfree and assigned me as it’s guardian. I was given instructions to kill any pony that has laid eyes on this temple and I was doing pretty well. The forest got most of them, but I was always the cherry-bomb on top just in case someone like you got too close. None of them got as far as you though. No one else decided to bring the Discordia remnant, which is what you brought with you. It was in fact the key to the temple, but it was a mistake that Discord instructed me to undo. Hence, I tried to kill two birds with one stone by blowing it up in your face.” Daring’s eye’s went wide when she remembered the blast. The chrome draconeous chuckled before continuing. “It didn’t work, and boy did I get a kick out of it. So, since you put me in a lighter state of mind, I toyed with you a bit before trying to kill you again by drowning you in liquid chrome. It would’ve worked too, but get this,” The draconeous suddenly materialized a strange device in front of Daring. It looked like a some kind of small box with a screen and numbered buttons on it.

“Discord sent me a text message about a year ago telling me to disregard my previous orders and let any traveling pony’s into the temple!” Daring understood that there was a message, but didn’t know what the small button-box had to do with it. The draconeous fell onto his back and started laughing like he’d heard a joke from Big Macintosh’s stand-up comedy night. “Just…hehe…just think. I was about to kill you and eviscerate your body to scare off other pony’s and the text arrived just in time! The phone service was halted by the chaos energy in the forest, making the signal travel at a snails pace. Had you arrived a minute sooner, you’d be DEAD! HAHAHAHAAAAA!”

Daring reared back at the draconeous’s laughter and tried to understand why it was funny that she was almost killed and mutilated.

It’s chaos. She thought. You’re not supposed to understand it, let alone get the jokes.

“Where’s the artifact?” Daring asked, anxious to get it and leave. The Draconeous stopped laughing and wiped a tear from his eye.

“Don’t get your feathers in a bunch.” He said before snapping a talon again. A path of light about ten feet across began to form out of the darkness to the left of the circle. Daring watched as it extended like a roll of carpet at a wedding before it finally stopped. After a few seconds, another circle of light a little smaller than the one she was standing in suddenly appeared at the end of the path. What was in the center of the small circle made Daring’s whole face perk up.

There was some kind of weird looking thing encased inside of a magically sealed glass ball. From what she could see, she assumed it had four appendages and a small head. It’s hooves were all wrong though. She could see what looked like hands on the ends of two of its appendages and long shoes on the ends of the other two. It seemed fully clothed in a matching set of black jeans and a baggy shirt with a piece toward the head that Daring realized made it a hoodie. Its sleeves were rolled up to the middle of its top appendages. It had a short but messy black mane that served as the only hair on its body aside from its eyebrows. Its pale skin seemed to shine in the non-existent light source.

Daring was used to seeing odd creatures seeing as most of them had tried to kill and eat her in the past, so she wasn’t really all that awestruck. She was actually sizing up the creature with her crimson red eyes and thinking of ways she could kill it if it were to escape and attack her.

Hm. Probably bi-pedal. Not even that big. If it were to stand up in front of me on two legs, it would be just an inch shorter than me. Or an inch taller. No biggie. It has a neck, so if things get to it, I could just snap its neck. Wait, why am I even looking at this thing?

“Where’s the artifact?” Daring asked as she turned her head to see the draconeous walking towards her with his hands behind his back. He gave her a light chuckle before responding.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t playing dumb just now.”

“What do you mean?” Daring asked. The draconeous simply gave her an are-you-serious look.

“Tsk, tsk. I expected more out of the top-notch explorer, Daring Do. Take a look at him again and you tell me where the artifact is.” Daring squinted her eyes in confusion before turning back to the thing in the center of the circle.

Him? She thought. She stepped closer and finally noticed the chrome veins holding the crystal ball in the air. Upon even closer inspection, she noticed the faint glow of a pulsating purple inside each vein. Her eyes widened in shock.

“This…this thing is the CENTER of it all!?” she exclaimed as she stepped back.

“Ah, NOW she gets it!” said the draconeous in a strained old-man voice before throwing away a walking cane and ripping off a long, fake, beard. Daring stepped closer, her muzzle inches from the ball. She could feel heat coming from it.

“It’s alive?” Daring asked more to herself than to the draconeous.

“Very much so.” Replied the draconeous. Daring looked up at what appeared to be its face. It’s eyes were closed and she could just barely see the rise and fall of its chest. It seemed to be peacefully sleeping there, cut off from the rest of the world. It was kept suspended inside the magical ball as if it were filled with water.

“It’s been here all this time?” Daring asked, putting her hoof on the ball. “Just trapped in this temple like some un-born fetus?”

“Yes, and good thing too.”

…

The author began to massage the bridge of his nose and sigh while shaking his head. He eyed the delete key thoughtfully, wondering if something could be CHANGED.

The draconeous nervously cleared his throat, realizing what he’d just said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Daring asked, eyeing the draconeous like a perpetrator under investigation.

“NOTHING, nothing!” The draconeous quickly answered. Daring gave him a look that let him know that she would probably bring it up later before turning her attention back to the creature.

“Ok. So do I get him out? Will it kill him?”

“Mmmm, no. But it probably WILL kill ME.” Replied the draconeous with a thoughtful talon on his chin. Daring gave him a questioning look. Picking up on it, the draconeous chose to elaborate. “You see, although this temple is like a clay playground for me, I am also part of it.” He said the last part while gesturing to his chrome body. “As you know, removing the main piece from any temple usually causes it to fall apart or blow up for some inane reason. So, since I’m PART of the temple-“

“You’ll die.” Daring interjected. “Y’know, I think I may be fine with that considering how funny you thought my near-death experience was.”

“Those kind of comments hurt my dear!” said the draconeous as he feigned injury.

“Yeah, right.” Said Daring as she began circling the ball, wondering how she was expected to get the creature out of there after she found a way to open the thing.

“You know, you shouldn’t talk that way to the one being that’s going to provide a way out of here.” With that, the draconeous snapped his talon one last time. In an instant, the magical ball shattered and the chrome veins began to literally evaporate. The creature fell to the floor and the ground began to shake. Daring turned to where the draconeous was but couldn’t see him anywhere. She turned back to the creature on the ground, expecting it to get up and do…something. Instead, it just laid there sprawled out on the chrome floor.

The now evaporating chrome floor.

Daring watched with pinpricked pupils as the illuminated circle and path began to burn away. Her gaze shot up in front of her into the darkness.

The red eyes were still there, and they were no longer far off into the abyss. They were right at the edge of the circle, advancing as it burned away. Each eye was about the size of her head, and she could smell the putrid remains of its countless victims now that she was so close. The creature wasn’t moving and the darkness was closing in on her. She didn’t know what to do or where to go. The path she’d considered running to had already burned away, and the circle she was standing in was getting very small very quickly.

The eyes were now just ten feet in front of her.

She immediately looked down to the creature and saw that the eyes were maybe a foot away from it. Her breathing became rugged as she thought about what she was going to do.

Her eyes narrowed in determination, and she sprinted to the unconscious body of the creature. She bit it by its hood and yanked it away from the advancing darkness just before it could envelop it’s foot. Although she really couldn’t tell because of the adrenaline coursing through her, the creature was much heavier than it should have been for its size.

“Good choice!” rang that accursed draconeous’s voice. “Now, look up and go to the light!”

Daring looked up to see a small circle of light above her in the dark abyss, but it was getting smaller by the second, and the eyes were now four feet in front of them.

Daring bit into the creatures hood with her teeth and jumped up…

Only to fall back to the ground with the creature in tow.

“Oops! Apologies!” said the echoing voice of the draconeous. Daring heard one last, LAST snap of a talon, and her wings flashed back into existence. She wasted absolutely no time in taking off towards the light above her with the creature’s hood tightly held in her teeth.

She felt something yank on her tail and looked down to see the eyes right below her along with a gigantic set of dark, razor sharp teeth that clamped down on her tail. Daring struggled with her wings but was getting no-where. It was dragging her and the creature down slowly, and the light above them was getting smaller and smaller.

“RRRRRGGGHHH!” she growled as she flapped her wings with speed and strength that resembled the cyan Pegasus herself. But it was pointless. It’s jaws were just too strong. She had to do something quick!

“C’MON!” shouted the draconeous from seemingly no-where. “I CAN’T HOLD IT MUCH LONGER!”

Daring looked down at the creatures eyes. She had an idea, but she was far too afraid to do it.

“But daddy, I’m scared of bad ponies!” Daring said as she stood in her father’s personal training room. In front of her stood her father, painted up to look like one of the goons that he’d taught her about. He towered over her and tried to look as menacing as he could. She was only twelve years old, and although she was taught well by her father, she just couldn’t spar with him like this. She’d had a bad experience when she was six, where one of her father’s enemies had kidnapped her and threatened to cut off her cutie-mark if she didn’t tell her father’s secrets. Ever since, even with how easily her father dealt with the stallions in the back of that carriage, she was terrified of them.

Her father knew this and decided to have a change of scenery in order to dispel the fear.

“I know, Daring.” Her father responded. “I know what happened, but you must not be afraid. You can’t be afraid of anything. As you’ve noticed for the past ten minutes, it makes you hesitate to act, leaving you open for a potentially fatal blow. You MUST dispel your fears.”

“But…but I can’t!” Daring said as tears began to well up in her eyes. She sat down on her haunches and proceeded to sob. Now, her father wasn’t a fan of emotions. He preferred he didn’t have them and tried his best to do away with them, but he couldn’t ignore his broken and sobbing daughter. He sighed and trotted up to her. He put a consoling hoof to her chin and lifted it up.

“You know, one day shortly after your mother and I were blessed with you, I had to be whisked away to some excavation site to examine an ancient text that spoke of the Pearl Sun-Dial. After I deciphered it, they knocked me out and locked me in a room with a bag over my head.” Daring’s father satirically imitated being clonked over the head. “I was terrified. They told me they were going to cut my heart out and hang me as a sacrifice to some pagan god. When they finally uncovered my head, I was sitting in a chair on top of a temple seconds away from being killed.
“There were so many bad ponies there. So was Ahuizotl. You know how scary he is. Do you know what helped me get over my fear?” Daring sniffled and shook her head. “I thought about you and your mother. I thought about how those bad ponies were going to take me away from you. They stopped being scary, and became nothing but my enemies. Evil obstacles in between me and those that I loved.” Daring noticed her father’s eyes become fierce with hatred as he envisioned the memory. “I fought them all. Yes, I fought hoof to claw and hand with Ahuizotl himself.” Daring gasped. Her father’s hate filled glare softened into a playful smile. “I can still remember him running away from me with his tail in between his legs. That day is probably the sole reason he’s so afraid of whips!” He ruffled her mane with a chuckle and Daring couldn’t help but laugh as well. “So, do you understand Daring?”

“I…I think so.”

“If you ever get so scared, so terrified that you can’t even fight back, remember what’s really happening. Remember that THEY are trying to take YOU away from US. They are nothing but your enemies. Make them wish they’d never tried.”

Daring’s eyes narrowed fiercely as she stared deep into the beasts glowing red eyes. Everything proceeded to move in slow motion. Daring stopped flapping her wings very briefly. The beast took the opportunity to loosen its jaws on her tail and rise up for a more satisfying bite. Just like Daring wanted it too. The second she was released, she reared up her hind hooves and prepared to buck them as hard as she could. When the beasts jaws were close enough, she let loose.

Her hooves connected with its top row of teeth with a deafening crack. The force sent a shiver up Daring’s spine, but she didn’t cease to follow through with her buck. The beast’s eyes squinted in pain as the teeth she struck cracked and shattered. The impact was so great that even the teeth she didn’t strike were shattered by the shock-wave.

With a loud, pained, screech, the beast began to fall away back into the darkness. Daring smirked and started flapping again. She wanted to make a joke about the beast’s dental plan, but had to fight very hard to resist considering the creature she was holding onto in her mouth.

She’d yell it out later.

“DARING!”

Daring’s right hoof shot up into the air, hitting the large dark-blue stallion in his jaw. He was of a burly sort, so instead of flying a few feet into the air and backwards like most stallions usually would, his jaw was merely knocked up a ninety degree angle with a painful crunch. The stallion slowly lowered his jaw and stared at Daring’s frightened expression with a bored look.

“This reminds me of why I broke up with you.” Said the stallion before spitting a speck of blood out of the right corner of his mouth. Upon recognizing him, Daring gave a relieved sigh before chuckling.

“Because your health insurance bill was too high?” she said with a grin. The stallion rolled his eyes and helped her off the wooden table she was laid on. She immediately noticed the wind blowing into her face and the lack of a ceiling. She was on some kind wooden ship high into the clouds. It had the appearance of a pirate ship with a mast and sail to capture the look, but it was powered by a steam engine at the back that had twisting propellers on the bottom to keep it airborne. It was big enough to be a small house, which Daring knew it was. She’d been on this ship many times in the past. She noticed that the state of the ship had improved considerably ever since she stopped living there, minus a bunch of random patch-work dotting the thing. It looked like something had punched a bunch of holes in it.

The same could be said about the stallion in front of her. Usually, he’d be covered in bandages or actively trying to pull an arrow out of his hide, but he looked alright. Of course, he still had a bandage here and there from accidents in general, but it was nothing that couldn’t be explained by his cutie mark…I still think they should make up a more masculine term for stallions. Anyway, it was a picture of a heart in front of two bone-like wrenches that crossed like an X. On the heart were at least seven white bandages that partially covered cuts. Yes, he was quite the clumsy stallion. He’d also built and maintained the ship they were flying in, which was made much easier now that he was no longer with Daring.

His eyes were a vivid crimson and often had that bored look about them. His mane and tail were a slightly lighter shade of blue than his coat and one could easily tell that he’d never owned a comb or brush. In fact, if he were to be given a comb or brush, he’d be met with same amount of confusion as I would if given a Rubik’s cube, and eat it.

“So, Backbone…” addressed daring as she casually leaned against the table and gave him a questionable smile with a raised eyebrow. “I’m guessing you weren’t following me?”

“No. No I wasn’t.” answered Backbone before walking towards the door to the small cabin that made up the back of the ship. “I just happened to be flying by.”

“You happened to just be flying over the center of the Everfree-“

“Shutup! “

“Aw, does big, tough, Backbone miss me?” said Daring with a false sultry gaze.

“About as much as I miss the feeling of an arrow being centimeters away from my heart.”

“I got it out didn’t I?”

The stallion shook his head before opening the door to the cabin at the back of the ship and gesturing for her to follow. The inside of the cabin looked just like she remembered. The engine roared past the back wall like soothing music to her ears. The room was dark except for the fire place at the back wall that was crackling and popping with flames and illuminating the brown and comfy couch in front of it. Tools and diagrams littered the floor and Daring had to step over them carefully as she walked in. Backbone wasn’t so careful and gritted his teeth when he stepped on an upright nail. He yanked it out with his teeth and flung it across the room where it hit one of the many pictures of him and his little sister. Daring couldn’t help but stare at them as they walked toward the couch.

“Sorry about your sister.” Daring said solemnly. Backbone sighed and stopped walking.

“It’s fine. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know, but-“

Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open, bathing the room with light and revealing a dark pink mare with a towel on her back. Her light blue mane was short and hung over her face loosely as the water trickled off of it. She stared angrily at her brother and Daring as they hung their heads.

“I knew I heard that suicidal mare!” shouted the angry mare. “What’s SHE doing back here!?”

“It was so long and beautiful!” Backbone sobbed as he eyed one of the old pictures on the wall, his sister then having a long, beautiful, flowing mane that rivaled the princesses.

“That hair could have gone places.” Said Daring in a raspy voice as she bitterly fought back a tear. Backbone’s sister stared at them blankly as they sobbed quietly behind the couch.

“Are you still fuming about my hair?” asked the mare. “I got LICE from that sadist next to you. It HAD to be cut. It contrasted with my personality anyway!” This was true. Her cutie mark was a dark green rose stem. That was it. No rose at the top.

“I don’t even KNOW her anymore!” shouted Backbone. Daring put a comforting hoof on his shoulder as he sobbed.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” She said before turning her attention to the pink mare. Daring gave her a big, mocking smile. “Hey, Thistle! Hate the new mane-cut by the way.”

“It was your fault! SCREW YOU” Thistle shouted angrily.

“Now when I look at her,” said Backbone, starting to calm down. “I see nothing but wasted potential.” Thistle wished there was a wooden beam around to bang her head against. She would bang her head against one of the wooden walls, but it would probably break.

“So,” started Daring as she took her hoof off of Backbones shoulder. “Why’d you bring me in here anyway?”

“Right, right.” Said Backbone before pointing to the couch with a hoof. “What’s that thing on the couch?” Daring approached the couch and got up on her hind legs to peek over it. Her eye-brows furrowed in confusion.

“What thing?” Daring asked before looking back at Backbone. Having a bad feeling about what that question generally meant, Backbone trotted up to the couch and looked over the…armrest to see that the creature was in fact not there. His breathing increased in pace as he began to question whether or not being near Daring would kill him this time.

“Rose?” said Backbone. “Have you-…Rose?” She wasn’t looking at him and the expression she wore was one of pure terror as she stood in the bathroom doorway. She seemed to be staring past him, so Daring and Backbone slowly turned their heads to see what was paralyzing the mare.

Two eyes stared back them. The whites of them contrasted the darkness as they gave a faint glow. Even the pitch black pupils seemed to have their own shadowy glow as they stared intently at Daring. The eyes seemed to be locked on her, staring deep into her soul and ignoring the other ponies in the room. The flickering flames from the fireplace revealed specks and contours of the being in front of them, confirming that it was in fact the creature Daring had pulled out of the temple. She couldn’t help but notice that it was standing perfectly still, as if it weren’t even breathing.

Backbone began to slowly trot backwards toward his sister as daring did the first thing that came to her mind. Talk to it.

“Are you,” she began after gulping. “friendly?” The eyes just kept staring at her, un-moving. Daring moved her head from side to side. The eyes followed her, making her feel even more un-easy. In a different light, the eyes reminded her of the beast she’d encountered in the temple. She felt that the best way to counteract this un-easy feeling was to be a little more direct. “Hello? Can you understand me?”

The creature seemed taken aback by the question and nodded quickly. The sudden movement shocked everypony in the room, causing Backbone to adopt a defensive stance in front of his sister. He didn’t look all that threatening though. He tried to keep a stoic face, but one could tell by his eyes that he would probably scream like a little girl if the creature decided to attack.

“Okay!” Daring exclaimed. “Are you FRIENDLY?” The creature nodded its head again, forcing a relieved sigh out of Daring. She wasn’t so much afraid, but she knew she would feel guilty if she was alive enough to remember how she was the one that got Backbone and his sister killed.

“Alright. Come into the light so we can see ya. Wouldn’t want Backbone to pee himself. Again.”

“I TOLD you, one of the bad guys spilled lemon juice on me!” Backbone shouted in a defensive tone.

“Whatever.”

Daring watched with a buzz of excitement as the creature revealed itself in the flames. Like Daring thought it was bi-pedal, not looking any different than it did in the temple. It was still wearing the hoodie, which Daring began to see several rips and tears in. The pants were no different. Underneath the hoodies rips she could see what looked like a white shirt. The creature’s eyes had lost their glow when it stepped into the light of the flames, looking somewhat normal by pony standards. Even then, the creature didn’t seem to be breathing. It stood completely still, as if in shock. It’s skin color did nothing to refute the assumption because of how pale it was. Daring couldn’t quite put her hoof on it, but she had a hunch that even by this creature’s standards, it wasn’t normal. Something was definitely off about it. Even in the light, its pupils looked like pitch black pools of nothingness and madness. They looked black, but they could’ve been any color. Despite it being maybe half an inch shorter than her, It made her feel wobbly to look directly into its eyes for too long, kind of like the Indescribable Object from before. She cleared her throat as an excuse to look away from it and think for a second.

“Ok, alright.” Said Daring. “Who are you?” The creature stood there without answering, as if hoping that its other-worldly gaze would be answer enough. “The silent treatment again?”

In one frighteningly surreal and fluid motion, the creature raised it’s right arm and pointed a finger at its mouth before shaking its head.

“You don’t talk?” Daring asked. The creature nodded briefly, not taking its odd and uncomfortable eyes off of her. “So, you have a mouth, but you don’t talk?” The creature nodded again. Daring also noticed the way it didn’t seem to understand the concept of facial expressions. It didn’t seem happy, or sad, or angry, or even fearful. One couldn’t tell what it was feeling like. It actually could have been any of those expressions, depending on how one would look at it.

As Daring tried to think of ways to get valuable information out of it without the use of words, they all stood in silence. The creature did not move, and kept its gaze exclusively on Daring. Backbone and his sister were prepared to begrudgingly abandon the ship, but Backbone wasn’t finished installing the new escape pod from when Daring used it to eject that chimera from the ship. They’d probably have to jump. Backbone scolded himself for flying the ship so high up.

“Even if you are friendly,” Daring started. “You understand that we can’t just…trust you. I think…I think my friends here would appreciate it if you…uh…went somewhere where we can keep an eye on you.” The creature stared at her as it waited on her to be more specific. “Any ideas Backbone?” Backbone was taken aback by the sudden transition, hoping that the creature would keep its creepy eyes locked on the trouble making mare in front of him. Fortunately it did, which was even creepier.

“I…think I have an Idea.”

It was a pretty nice day out. The sun was high in the sky, blanketing the now not-so-chaotic Everfree in warmth and beauty. The clouds in the sky looked as if they’d been painted with a brush. The sky itself was especially blue and plush. Yes, from front of the ship, it was a nice view. Daring was hoping that it would be enough to keep the creature’s mind off of the fact that it had been tied to the mast of the ship in a selfish attempt to keep everyone safe.

“You sure this is necessary?” Daring asked Backbone as they examined their handy work.

“Well,” said Backbone matter-of-factly. “I’ve got a cage somewhere in the hull-“

“This is fine.” Daring said abruptly. The creature was very submissive while being tied up. It walked out of the cabin and sat at the base of the mast while Daring and Backbone tightly wrapped the rope around it. It didn’t make any sounds or even wince at how tightly they’d tied him up. It just sat there, looking at Daring the entire time. She felt like she had an iron over her head as it watched her. She’d been stalked before, but this was different. She was sure that it was significant that it only stared at her, but she couldn’t figure out whether it was bad or good that it did so. This led to other suspicions.
Had she rescued it, or had she released it?

“So what the hay is this thing?” asked Backbone, turning his head but keeping his eyes focused on the creature. Daring thought about it before answering, realizing how crazy she’d sound.

“The center of it all, man.” She said with a sense of inner revelation.

“The center of what?”

“The Everfree.” Her answer caused Backbone’s eyes to shrink as he realized what she’d just said.

“Hold on, hold on…you actually DID IT?!” said Backbone as he gave Daring his full attention.

“Yep.” Daring replied with a confident smile. Then something dawned on her and she raised an eyebrow before turning to look at Backbone. “Wait, what do you mean I DID it? You knew what I was doing?”

“…Well, I-“

“So, you WERE looking out for me!” said Daring with a knowing grin. Backbone sighed and walked to the side of the ship. “…Oh no. You still haven’t gotten over me have you?” Backbone gave her an indignant snort in reply. “I KNEW IT!” Daring shouted as she rose on her hind legs and clapped her front hooves. Backbone gritted his teeth in annoyance. “No one could ignore a flank this good lookin’.” Daring joked as she trotted up to his side. She looked up to him and her smile fell slowly. Backbone wasn’t tearing up or some sappy stuff like that. No, it was the lack of feeling on his face that caught Daring off guard. She knew that face. It was the face he made when he was hurt and pissed.

“…Look, man. I’m sorry.” Daring said through a sigh. “But you know why we can’t be like that. You are all your sister has left and…I gotta do my thing for the fate of Equestria.”

“I know.” Backbone agreed sternly. With that said, there wasn’t much else to talk about. They stood there in silence as they watched the Everfree go by below them. Even from that high up, she could see the trees beneath her losing their savage and twisted look. Sunlight was beginning to seep through and touch ground that had not met sunlight for centuries. Some of the animals didn’t react well to it. She watched as abnormally large snake thing tried to slither quickly away from the blotches of sunlight that were being let through. Each time the sun touched it, its rouch scales would sizzle and pop, glowing a bright orange. It hissed in pain as it slithered for its life. It eventually met a dead end between a growing patch of sunlight and a steep dirt hill. It a last ditch effort, its eyes glowed and shot out a yellow hot beam towards the growing patch of sunlight, as if it would be too hot for the sun to handle. It recoiled as far back against the dirt wall as it could, but it wasn’t enough. The angle of the sun was perfect for the snakes position, practically aiming at it. Once the branches began to recede and the leaves started to shrink, the snake was literally toast. It’s body glowed red hot and exploded in a flurry of sparks and fire, leaving no trace of it ever existing aside from the black splotch where it exploded.
Daring watched this happen to Manticores, Chimeras, Cockatrices, and many other Everfree wild-life as the vast forest returned to normal. She would’ve felt bad for them if it weren’t for the thousands of ponies they had killed and devoured, as well as the number of times they nearly killed HER.

She also noticed the large number of freaky bird corpses that littered the ground. They all looked like large crows with no eyes and fanged jaws instead of beaks. They didn’t burn up in the sunlight, so they had to have been able to bear it while they were alive and flying above the trees. She thought about the other explorers that had tried to fly to the center and put two and two together. This also made her think about a few other things.

“Where’d you find me?” asked Daring in an attempt to break the cold silence. “And how come the bird things didn’t kill you?” Backbone sighed again.

“The bird things WERE going to kill us.” Said Backbone. “We had locked ourselves inside the cabin and they pecked away at the ship like tiny jack-hammers. Then, just when they were about to get through or bring the ship down, they all suddenly dropped dead.” Backbone looked to Daring to see her nodding in a ‘Well, what did you expect?’ manner. “We found you and the creature unconscious at the edge of some large, circular, mile wide chasm.” Daring cocked an eyebrow.

“Circular chasm? Like a big hole?” she questioned.

“Yeah.”

“No…circular island in the middle of it?”

“No. Why, was it there before?”

“Yes.” Daring said with an air of confidence. “It was the temple!”

“…Right, right. You always did have a knack for destroying anything in connection with you.” Backbone meant for the remark to hurt Daring, but he got a different reaction. Daring nuzzled his neck affectionately, causing him to shudder.

“Not if that something is as tough as you.” Daring said soothingly, warmth and love radiating from her voice like a bonfire. Backbone stood still as a statue, trying to figure out what he was feeling at the moment. He wanted to push her away. He wanted to tell her off. “You know,” Daring said, resting her head against him with her eyes closed. “If you want to start over, all you have to do is say so.” He didn’t want to tell her off. He wanted to stay like that, with her comfortably nuzzled up against him. He began to remember the nights he’d spend with her like this. Back then, he felt like he was content. Back then, he didn’t have to feel like it was wrong. Back then, he could just let go and accept her affections. But that was before he knew the danger. Before his sister was nearly taken away from him.

Backbone shook his head and snorted before turning and walking back towards the cabin. Daring stumbled to stop herself from falling with a look of mild shock on her face. Backbone opened the cabin door and looked back to Daring. “Doesn’t look like YOU are over it either.” With that said, Backbone slammed the door shut, leaving a surprised Daring alone on the deck with the creature. It was tied to the mast facing the front of the ship, but when Daring turned to look at it, she found its head turned to the side with one eye staring back at her.

“What’re you lookin’ at?” Daring said angrily. The creature looked at her a little longer before slowly turning its head back to face the front of the ship. “Humpf!” She turned back towards the hoof rest and stared out at the sky. The ship was moving pretty fast, and the wind whipped against her face as a result. Now that Backbone was gone, she suddenly felt cold. This feeling was multiplied by a hundred when she noticed that she was still missing her pith helm.

“…It’s not fair.”

Daring was curled up against some crates on the deck by nightfall, fast asleep. She would’ve slept in the cabin, but she just couldn’t bring herself to face Backbone again. She was hurt, and she was angry. Conflicted. Not knowing how to deal with her emotions, she resigned to take a nap outside behind some crates to keep the wind from becoming too uncomfortable. Backbone kept himself busy rebuilding the escape pod in the hull of the ship. His sister Thistle offered to help, but Backbone gave her the cold shoulder. She decided that it would be best to just wait things out by playing her harp. She went to her cabin, set it up, closed her eyes, and let loose. Contrary to most harp players, Thistle was very different. When she played, instead of a heart-warming sound, she produced a sound that tugged at the heart of any and all who heard her. It still sounded beautiful, but it was also painful to listen to, practically wrenching feelings of sadness, shame, and pain out of its listeners. Her performances around the globe would have the audience crying while she played and sang with her spitefully angelic voice, but by the end of her performance, everypony would be happy to have let it all out, showing deep appreciation for her talent. Even her brother would have to leave to avoid becoming all teary eyed. She wished he wouldn’t be so embarrassed though. If anything, Backbone needed, no, deserved, to cry. Over half the songs she wrote were about her brother and the things she’d watch him go through. Through and through, Thistle understood better than anypony what the true meaning of pain and the sacrifice of beauty was.

Strangely enough though, her music never affected her the way it affected others. No, it soothed her. It didn’t make her happy, but it made her feel content, as if the pain she was feeling was being syphoned away into her harp and out into the air. In a sense, she was spending it, something many ponies wished they could do with their emotions without doing something stupid or hurtful. Because of this, Thistle could completely lose herself while playing, blocking out the world and entering her own. It was the way she dealt with it all. The same could be said about Backbone. Whenever something bothered him, he’d lose himself in his work. As for Daring, well, she slept it off. She dreamt about her days as a child, training with her parents and eating ice cream on a corner in Canterlot with her mom. She also dreamt about generally being awesome.

It was because of this that no one heard Luna’s royal voice shout angrily throughout the sky. The force of the angry yell shook the ship, causing Backbone to mess up a weld, causing Thistle to pluck a string too hard, causing Daring to suddenly swing her right hoof at one of the crates in front of her. By the time they had all done this, it was too late.

A bright, dark blue beam shot through the sky like a lightning bolt, hitting the ship right through the hull. The resulting explosion completely destroyed the ship, blowing it and its occupants away in all directions.

Daring was the first to regain consciousness. She was falling and in immense pain. She started flapping on reflex, stopping herself in mid-air. Burning, wooden debris landed on tob of her as a result, sharpening the searing pain in her head.She gritted her teeth and flew from under the falling projectiles as she tried to focus her eyesight and see through the blinding light of the flames. She began to fly away from the scene as fast as she could, dodging debris and…Backbone’s couch. She watched as it fell to the forest floor, half burnt away by fire. It was all she needed to remember and realize what was going on. The ship was gone. Blown up somehow. Backbone and his sister had to be amongst the falling wreckage.

She had to save them.

She began flying around, frantically searching through the burning debris for any sign of Backbone or his sister. For what seemed like hours but could’ve only been seconds, she didn’t see anything but the remains of Backbone’s ship, ‘The Old Re-fixable’.

“This is all my fault..” daring gasped as she took in the absolute chaos. She zoomed downward, convinced by the lack of wreckage above her that her friends were getting close to the ground. “BACKBOOOOONE!” She screamed loudly, hoping for a response. She was now maybe around two hundred feet in the air. At the current rate, they’d hit the ground in less than four seconds.

One…

She spotted Backbones tail through a mass of burning wreckage. She couldn't see Thistle anywhere.

Two…

She sped up and dive-bombed in Backbone’s direction, honing her body into a spear.

Three…

She reached for him as they neared the trees.

Four

She grabbed him and in one humungous, strenuous, effort, pulled him up. The abrupt stop sent a wave of ridiculous pain through her wings and caused her to flap off-balance. They fell through the trees and Daring hit her head.

“…sle…isle…THISTLE!”

Daring’s eyes shot open. She was staring up at the opening she’d left through the trees. Her head was in so much pain that she was sure she was either dying or close to it. The flames seemed to be everywhere around her, causing her to jolt and stand upright. Upon doing so, she nearly fell back down.
YEP. Front right hoof is jacked up…again. She thought. She heard cracking behind her and turned to see a tree slowly falling in her direction as a result of the flames eating away at it. She quickly limp-dodged out the way before it landed. The smell of burning wood was so thick that her breathes were short and far-between. Parts of the ship littered the forest, slowly turning it into a fiery death pit. Daring limped through the inferno as quickly as she could trying to find a clearing. She started to flap her wings but was immediately met with an excruciating shock of pain that made her yelp. Either her wings were broken, or strained out. Flying would be impossible for the next couple days either way.

“Thistle?” called Backbone’s voice from somewhere in the flames. Daring could hear galloping getting closer and closer from in back of her. Daring turned and saw Backbone leaping through the flames, bleeding all over with scorch marks all over him. The look he had on his face was one of desperation mixed with horror. He stared at Daring for maybe half a second before running off into the flames again.

“THISTLLLLLLLLLLE!” He called out with even more desperation.

“Backbone! Wai-“ Daring was cut off by a strong wind that extinguished the flames around her and sent her flying backwards into a tree. She hit her head against the trunk, nearly making her black out again. She looked up to where the source of the wind seemed to come from and saw what looked like an armored Princess Luna descending to the ground.

“…Wha-“

“TRAITOR!” Luna shouted in her royal voice, enveloping Daring in her magic. It wasn’t gentle, putting a little too much pressure on her throat. “THEE HAS BETRAYED US ALL!” Luna used to her magic to fling Daring up and over the burning foliage. Knowing that one more impact to the head would probably kill her, she closed her eyes and braced for impact.

Nothing. The air around her stopped rushing, and she felt nothing. She peeked an eye open to see that she was now an inch away from the ground, somehow hovering in the air.

“SISTER!” Boomed another, familiar royal Canterlot voice. “DESIST IMMEDIATELY!”

Daring turned her head and her eyes widened at the sight before her. Standing maybe a foot away from her was Princess Celestia herself, adorned in her powerful regal armor. She glowed almost as brightly as the sun itself, the heat radiating from her causing Daring to feel uneasy and sweat, Her eyes were glowing orbs of fierce rage and power. Daring gaped at her as Celestia levitated her upright.

“THISTLE!” Shouted Backbone as he came galloping out of a nearby thicket of flames. “PRINCESS, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! MY SISTER, I CAN’T FIND HER!” Celestia glowered at Backbone as he pleaded with her before suddenly and quickly turning her head to look at an especially large fire about a dozen yards in front of her. It seemed to be where most of the wreckage fell. Backbone frantically looked between the princess and the fire.

“Do you…see her?” Backbone let out in tired gasps. Celestia narrowed her eyes further in an attempt to see what was in the wreckage. Daring, despite her ear-splitting headache, decided chip in and tried to make out what was so interesting in the wreckage.

…She could see a figure pushing the wreckage aside as it emerged from the flames.

A bi-pedal.

As if on cue, Luna appeared next to Celestia in a flash of light. Upon noticing what her sister was staring at, Luna’s glowing white eyes went wide with alarm. “THINE ENEMY IS HERE!” she shouted as she began charging her horn. “WE MUST STRIKE NOW SISTER!”

The bi-pedal began making its way out of the flames, the heat somehow not deterring it.

“SISTER!” shouted Luna loudly as she kept charging her horn. “NOW!”

Celestia’s horn began to glow as the creature emerged from the flames. Daring noticed that it was carrying something above it that seemed to be bundled up by what looked like the creature's hoodie. Then, from the light the princesses were emitting from their horns, she noticed the bright blue hair sticking out of whatever it was…

Thistle.

“Thistle?” Backbone said in disbelief. “THISTLE!” He charged for the creature holding his bundled up sister but was abruptly yanked back by a golden aura. Daring was in turn, dropped to the ground.

“STAY BACK!” Celestia shouted authoritatively.

“WE MUST STRIKE NOW SISTER!” Luna yelled again. Nodding, Celestia began to charge her horn.

“NO!” Backbone shouted as he struggled against the princesses powerful aura. “IT HAS MY SISTER!”

“IT’S KILLED HER! IT’S A TRICK!” Luna rebutted. The earth was now shaking with the force of the blast they were going to release.

“PLEASE!” Backbone yelled out. Daring could hear it in that yell. He was about to crack. His throat was choking up with tears. Daring could already feel the guilt that would be soon to come.

She got up on her hooves quickly, ignoring the pain in blind fear. She dashed forward as fast as she could and jumped high into the air.

“STOP!” She yelled as loud as she possibly could. The spell discharged from the princesses as Celestia watched Daring jump in front of the shot. Celestia's eyes widened in horror as she turned her horn upward and pushed her sister to the side. The blasts just barely missed Daring, singing her fur and her skin. The shots flew off into the distance. Half a second afterwards, the earth shook violently as the blasts hit something and exploded. They were like small nukes, sending out a shockwave before a wave of searing heat. Fortunately, they were too far away to pose a threat to the ponies…or the creature.

Daring fell to the ground, finally listening to her body's complaints.

With an effort all too familiar to the mustard colored adventurer, especially recently Daring opened her eyes. Slowly. They felt heavier than usual, and it took her a moment to remember why. She'd been to countless hospital throughout her life. In nearly every visit, they's have to pump healing magic into her to keep her alive, causing various side effects. One of which was extreme lethargy.

"G-Great..." she breathed out in a raspy voice. Once her vision was cleared up, she noticed the white ceiling. The very familiar white ceiling of the Canterlot Emergency Hospital. In fact, because of the large crack in the ceiling, Daring got the feeling that she'd been in that exact same room in the past.

She slowly looked to her left and saw a heart monitor. It appeared to be working, but she couldn't hear the beeping it resonated. Another symptom of healing magic was a temporary loss of hearing. Especially if the healing magic was applied to the brain. Beyond the heart monitor, sleeping soundly in a chair, was Backbone. Just looking at him made her remember everything. The center of the Everfree, the metal copy of Discord, the creature, Backbones ship, and...the explosion.

The explosion that may have killed his sister.

Suddenly, as if sensing her growing fear and guilt, Backbone's eyes shot open, almost as if he'd never even been asleep. He stared at her as she looked back at him, her eyes half-closed. She almost naturally overlooked the bandages all over his body, seeing as it was common for him. Growing uncomfortable with the silence and anxiety over his sister's fate, Daring spoke up in a strained raspy voice.

"Where's This-"

"She's fine." said Backbone stoically. Daring let out a relieved sigh. She hadn't been that nervous for at least a full year, and that my friends, is truly saying something. "She was farthest from the engine, so she only got a concussion along with some cuts, bruises and burns. She's awake now."

Daring accepted the news with a slow nod before turning her head to look back at the ceiling.

"You're here to leave me alone forever now?" she asked blankly. Backbone only answered with silence, holding his head down. "Well, if that's the case, I'M dumping YOU."

Backbone looked back at her slightly flustered.

"What?"

"You heard me." said Daring with a smirk. "I'm not going to be the dumpee'."

"Daring-"

"No. Don't draw it out. These things are meant to be done like d-duct tape."

"...Daring-"

"Or, in your case, like a-arrows."

"DARING-"

"I'm sure we'll find o-others. Well, maybe you will with your tough, sexy, self. I'm pretty sure no one will want to hang around with an accident prone, tomboyish, l-loser-"

"I"M NOT LEAVING YOU!"

Daring's eyes, brimming with tears, widened slightly with Backbone's outburst. She turned her head to face him and noticed that he was now standing up, breathing heavily with anger. Realizing what he'd done, he calmed down and sat back into his chair with a sigh.

"W-what?" said Daring. Backbone looked at her with a worried expression.

"Look," he began. "Thistle and I had a talk when she woke up a few hours ealier and...well, I was telling her about how I would make sure I never saw you again and that I was sorry. I told her all these plans I'd concocted to distance myself from you and anything involved with you." Backbone looked down dejectedly. "Then she slapped me."

Darings eyes widened even more. You wake up from a near death experience only to slap the one who was worried the most about you? That girl surely lives up to her namesake.

"She called me an idiot and basically told me off. Said she didn't like you, but if you made me happy and vice-versa, she wouldn't let me let HER stand in the way of it. No matter what."

Daring was speechless. Well, until she wasn't.

"Sure. Thistle approves of YOU being with ME? You must be hyped up on anesthetics or som-"

"Daring, stop being a retard for five seconds." said Backbone with a stern look. "Anyway, I argued back about it, figuring that the drugs were dulling her judgment. But she wouldn't have it. Threatened to show you those old high-school photos of me at the graduation ceremony."

"The graduation ceremony?" asked daring as she raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

"That's not the point. What I'm trying to say, is that my sister talked some sense into me. She's a grown mare, and she can make her own decisions. If one of those decisions means putting her life on the line to make her brother happy, than she can do that. I can't control her life." After this, there was a long pause, as if he were taking yet another moment to let this sink in for himself.

"S-So?" said Daring, edging him on. Backbone looked up at her once more and gave her a determined look.

"Whether it be arrows or swords that run me through, my special somepony, will always be Daring Do."

They continued to stare at each other for a while. Then Daring wiped the tears from her eyes and slowly got out of bed. Her hooves were shaky, but she was used to it. She slowly walked over to Backbone, his gaze still determined and serious, and put her hoof on his shoulder.

"Backbone.." said Daring with a heartfelt look. "You must take an oath now." This caused Backbones determined gaze to shift into confusion as he stared deeply into her mysterious, vivid, crimson eyes. "That you will never, EVER, recite a love poem in public as long as you live."

"Psh!"

Daring gave him a little peck on the lips before embracing him in a shaky, consoling, hug. Backbone savored the feeling of her embrace, wishing that he could just stay that way for the rest of the evening. But as usual with life and pleasure, it always ends too soon.

"Ok." said Back bone as he pushed daring back just enough for them to be face to face. "I'm being selfish. There are other things I came here to tell you. Some pretty important things."

"Fire away." said Daring with a flick of her mane. Backbone took a moment to collect his thoughts and form his next sentence.

"Ummm...you're a terrorist."

Daring stared at him curiously, blinking a few times.

"What?" she asked.

"Princess Luna is VERY pissed off about what you did, and she sorta...kinda...wants to banish or be-head you."

"WHAT!?" shouted Daring, jumping away and instinctively flaring out her wings. The action causes her to hiss and grit her teeth in pain before immediately retracting them. "Ow...WHY!?"

"I don't know." said Backbone with a defeated sigh. "Luna shouted that it was none of my business. But I'm pretty sure it's not because you normalized the Everfree."

Daring's eyes widened in realization.

"That weird thing I found..."

Author's Note:

So this is the first story I've ever done on here. Be brutally honest. XD

Comments

[Xenomorpher]

This is very interesting, but it feels rushed.

[Xzaves]

6000419 I didn't feel it but wutevs

[shinikage]

is a nice start, so far no i see no issues against it

[KetchupAndRice]

6001180 Didn't feel it either...its laid out pretty well

[Mother3Forever]

FIRST story!? Holy shit...I'm jealous.

[Cascadejackal]

Not much suspense or build-up, and it's very tell-y, especially at the start. It feels like you tried to write most of the story into a single chapter, when it could have been broken up into multiple chapters and given more detail. You could make an entire chapter of the first few paragraphs alone, through at least some of Daring's journey and up to when she reaches the Centre. That extra detail and time spent with her would help invest the reader in the story, instead of being a tiny footnote in a much longer chapter like it is here. You've got a good premise, but you need to slow down a bit and make us care about what's going on.

For a first fic, it's actually pretty good. Very few spelling/grammar/etc problems, other than being a wall of text. Some breaks between paragraphs would make it easier to read, but other than that and the pacing there's not much wrong with it.

[Faldo]

The structure is a little bit off, it could be better if you separate the different paragraphs more
so the reader don't just have a wall of text on the page, it discourages to read .

Besides that, your Daring Doo feels more like a Rainbow Dash. I mean all that self narrating and saying how awesome she is is more like Rainbow Dash and in the episode we see her she is more annoyed with Rainbows antics than sharing the same feeling in the situations. You should write her more like an Indiana Jones it is said Daring is normally a loner the whole romance thing feels not like her.

[Grankuwaga]

Daring began to imagine what it would be like to be the pony that stopped the flow of chaos magic throughout the Everfree, restoring it to its once peaceful state.

But what if the thing you digging up is what been keeping the “Everfree” in check?
You just doomed everyone

[ponyclaws]

hope you plan to continue this. its good.

[The Infinity Doctor]

You must be kidding, this is your first story? I really can't believe that...

Anyway, I'm enjoying it so far!

[Slient Melody]

please write more soon.

[Zackrobbman]

WOW. Seems like someone read my authors notes! Thanks guys! I'll try to correct those paragraphs in a fututre update and take my time. This was a bit rushed seeing as I wrote most of this whille about to pass out from a lack of sleep. But seriously, thanks! You guys are pretty awesome.

This sin't the first story I've ever written, this is just the first one I've ever officially posted on here. So no, I'm definitely no child prodigy. Well, i'm not really a child sooo.....whatever. You get the gist.

[AliCentaur Br0ny]

Her cutie mark was a dark green rose stem. That was it. No rose at the top.

Morticia Addams everypony.
33.media.tumblr.com/fdd4c078b0a23ac96c6cb4c24339ae45/tumblr_nob2pinc651tg6ctfo1_250.gif investorintel.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/addams1.gif

[Ekluvstuff]

This sounds like a great story. Can't wait to read the rest of it.

She felt like a tea kettle about to pop. She was tired, dehydrated, starving, and she just wanted to go home at that point. Yes, when she got home, she’d write a VERY irate book full of reasons why the person who started the rumor and set the clues should be brought back from the dead to be murdered over and over.
With a spoon. Slowly, inefficiently, murdered with a spoon.

[Butterwings]

She yanked the machete out of the dirt before flying upwards slowly.

That doesn't make sense. Shouldn't she start flying BEFORE taking out the machete?

[Butterwings]

actual per-AHEM, pony.

Well, if it's a pony saying the word person, then that would refer to a pony, not an human. But if it didn't, then the word person wouldn't even exist in Equestria, so Daring should not even know that word.
Basically, this makes no sense.

[NecromanCREEEEEE]

"I"M NOT LEAVING YOU!"

Someone was using shift instead of caps