The Non-Relic

by Zackrobbman

#5 It's just paranoia

It was a beautiful morning in Canterlot. More so than usual. The sunlight just seemed more vivid, making anything it touched look more alive and vibrant. Even old...oldER ponies got up feeling like a spring chicken. Even if it meant throwing out their back.

Luna didn't like it.

Her nightly duties were over, and it was time to rest, but she didn't feel like sleeping. As many guards and maids could see as she made her way to her sister's chambers, she was not in a good mood. None of them even bothered to ask why, fearing that she'd shout the answer loud enough to blow off their faces.

She knocked on Celestia's door hard, nearly splintering the wood.

"Coming!~" said Celestia in a sing-song voice. Her apparent glee angered Luna to no end. How could she possibly be this happy? How DARE she!

The door opened to reveal a beaming Celestia.

"Good morning sister!" she said before giving Luna a lightning quick bear-hug.

"G-Good...morning."breathed Luna through gritted teeth as she waited for her sister to let go. She knew from countless experiences that resisting one of Celestia's bear hugs was as pointless as getting Discord to make sense.

"Wanted to wish me a good-day before resting?" asked Celestia before setting her sister down. Luna calmy gasped for air before composing her self.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you something."

"Ask away!"

Luna's scowl deepened.

"Do I really have to?" asked Luna, glaring at her sister.

"Whatever do you mean?" asked Celestia in mock confusion, causing Luna's eyes to glow. She humored her.

"I went to check on the creature before heading to bed only to discover that the guards stationed there during the night were gone and so was the creature."

"Yes?" said Celestia, still grinning.

"When I asked them what happened in my panic, they said that YOU relieved them of duty."

"I did?" asked Celestia in mock surprise. Luna's eye twitched. She could remember Discord talking about a strange phenomenon called trolling that he'd learned from another world. Smoke began to rise from her eyes.

"Tia, I'm in no mood for your games."

Celestia giggled.

"Alright, then." she said before stepping back and opening the door. With Celestia out of the way, she could see the majority of her chambers. There, sleeping soundly in her bed with the covers wrapped around him like a baby, was the creature.

This surprised Luna for two reasons. One, was obvious. The creature wasn't locked up where it couldn't harm anypony. Second, she couldn't remember the last time she saw it sleeping like this. She stared at the creature, trying to figure out what she should be feeling at the moment.

Should she be calling out to the guards to subdue him? Should she run away screaming? Should she admit her sister to a mental ward? Or should she just stand there?

She just stood there.

"Well?" said Celestia. "Aren't you going to ask me what's going on?"

Luna, although unseen to the naked eye, was taken aback by the question. Why? Because it was a dumb question, and that's an understatement. Celestia didn't wait for her sister to reply, jumping giddily on her hooves.

"He's back to normal!" she shouted while grabbing Luna and shaking her in the air.

Normal? Him? What was normal for him? She couldn't really remember. But the way he lay there sleeping, curled up in those covers...it reached deep into her subconscious and jerked at something familiar. Something she hadn't felt for a long time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luna stood outside her chambers, enjoying the sight of Canterlot under her expertly crafted night sky. Unlike her sister, Luna loved the sight of the city. There just didn't seem to be anything quite as beautiful as the spark of civilization at night. In fact, everything about Canterlot seemed different at night. Instead of the usual bustle of ponies on their way to work, it was filled with ponies celebrating the end to another working day.

In fact, some ponies only came out at night, the reason being that their particular talents were best applied when the moon was in the place of the sun. Like the bat-ponies that were on guard during the night. Or the ponies that only opened their taverns at night.

Or a stallion gardener who's talent was growing rare plants using her moonlight.

He was an odd pony. She never saw him exit his home to do anything other than tend to his garden, deliver his plants, or buy groceries. Both of these tasks he did at night. On his trips through town, he never stopped by any taverns or took part in any celebrations. Yes, the only flowers he stopped to smell were the ones he'd grown.

He was also very nice. Although he avoided crowded places, it wasn't like he despised other ponies. He often assisted any pony he saw in need while out in the town. He'd help an older stallion every night with closing his lumber shop. He'd help clean up any messes on the streets. He even took out time to play ball with a number of bat fillies and colts.

That last one was strange to Luna. At a young age, bat-ponies were often fearful of ponies. They often kept to the darkest alleys of the city during celebrations or other nightly events that rendered the streets too crowded. Whenever a pony would walk by, they would scatter.

But not with this stallion gardener. True, he had a dark-grey coat and a black mane with yellow eyes, but he wasn't a bat-pony. Despite this, young bat-pony's would flock to him whenever they saw him at night, showing no signs of fear. In fact, they treated him like family, sometimes asking their parents to let him eat dinner with them. The parents would often happily accept.

From what she'd stalked-AHEM-seen, all of his clients were bat-ponies. No regular ponies wanted to buy his flowers. Maybe it was because they were slightly menacing in appearance? She didn't think so. She could understand why others would think that, what with them being dark colors and sometimes being crooked and covered with spikes, but she actually admired them.

She considered going down to get one for herself, but she couldn't. Every time she even thought about doing so, she felt the unfamiliar feeling of fear bubble-forth in her gut. She didn't know why. Perhaps it was because she was afraid of leaving a bad impression? Her sister often said that she could be very awkward at times. It wasn't really her fault though. She rarely got the chance to speak to her subjects since they were asleep when she was on duty, and she wasn't the party-pony her sister was, so she couldn't rightfully fit in with the ponies up at night.

The bat-ponies loved and adored her, but just a bit too much for her liking. It's hard to hold a conversation with someone when they're constantly praising you as if you're their god.

"Enjoying the sights, sister?" said a familiar voice from behind her. Luna gasped in surprise before quickly turning around.

"Tia!" said Luna in relief. "Don't do that!"

"I can't help it." said Celestia with a shrug. "Stealth tactics tend to stick with you."

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be resting?"

"Don't you remember? I promised we'd spend some time together two weeks ago."

"Oh." said Luna, remembering. "I didn't think you'd deny your sleep just for that."

"Yes, well...not knowing where Discord is or what he's going to do next tends to take up all of your time."

"I understand." said Luna in an exasperated tone. "Any findings?"

"No." said Celestia sternly. "Nopony has heard of or seen him for the past four weeks. I don't like it."

"Do not worry sister." said Luna with a hoof on her sister's withers. "Discord may be out for the rule of Equestria, but even he has standards. He won't try to kill anypony."

"He's chaos personified, Luna. There's no telling [i[what he'll do."

"His one flaw is his predictable obsession with being unpredictable. Killing a pony would be like losing for him."

Celestia pondered this a little. Discord wanted to rule Equestria because he felt it needed the extra spice. He wanted to show ponies that being chaotic had it's good sides. Killing a pony just to prove that it could be a good thing would be a desperate reach for victory that would ultimately lead to a loss on his part. After all, what subject likes a ruler that kills it's subjects just for the purpose of being unpredictable?

If he were selfishly obsessed with being unpredictable, he'd kill a pony. This would serve as a testament of his inability to rule. Then again, it would be predictable for somepony obsessed with being unpredictable to kill somepony just to appear unpredictable. So maybe he'd reason that killing a pony was the normal, predictable thing to do, making him look like somepony who isn't obsessed with being unpredictable. Wouldn't that make him appear unintentionally unpredictable to do what's predictable?

"Tia?"

Celestia shook her head.

"Yes?"

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"Thine eyes were veering off to opposite sides."

"Oh." Celestia chuckled. "It is unwise to try to make sense of him."

Luna smiled in response to her sister before resuming her watch over Canterlot. Specifically the night gardener. Celestia stepped beside her and admired the city.

It wasn't long before she noticed.

"I didn't think you to be the stalking type." said Celestia with a smirk. Luna jolted.

"What do you mean?" she asked, completely oblivious.

"There's an entire city to be watching over, but you are staring solely at that section. At a house in particular."

Luna's eye's darted to and fro between her sister and the gardeners home.

"Casablanca is his name." said Celestia. "He wasn't born in Canterlot."

"I surmised." said Luna, pondering his name. It sounded lovely. Everything about the stallion was lovely.

"Nopony knows where he's from." continued Celestia. "It's as if he just appeared one day and began raising his garden. Stirred up quite the hornets nest where the guard is concerned."

"Casablanca." repeated Luna with a smile. Celestia smirked.

"You like his name?"

"Yes."

"You love his name?"

Luna looked at her sister.

"That is an odd ques-"

"I'M'UNNA TAN YO HIDE!"

The two sisters turned quickly toward the source of the disturbance. Far below them on the streets of Canterlot was a rather odd scene. There was a large, brown, earth stallion running through the streets with what appeared to be a cross-bow in his mouth. He had a black eye and numerous bruises on his body. His expression was absolutely livid, as if he'd lived his whole life just to prepare for the rage he was now experiencing.

Even stranger was who...or rather WHAT he was chasing. It appeared to be a small bi-pedal creature with barely any hair on it's body save the hair on it's head. It was running very fast, faster than anypony she'd ever seen aside from herself and her sister.

Still stranger were the numerous arrows sticking out of it's body. It seemed to be bleeding heavily, but it ran as if there was nothing wrong with it at all. It was wearing clothing, instantly keying Celestia's interest. She'd come to learn that anything wearing clothing was intelligent. Don't ask me how. Go write a story about it sometime.

As it zoomed through town, the bi-pedal occasionally turned around to see if the large stallion was still chasing it. Celestia couldn't help but notice the expression on it's face. It's eyes were wide with terror and exhaustion, like it had been running for days on end in a world completely unfamiliar to it. It's mouth was closed and neutral, defying it's terrified look.

She watched as the bi-pedal ran into a wooden carriage containing countless watermelons. The carriage exploded into a flurry of splinters and smashed watermelon bits, not deterring the creature at all. The stallion that was pulling the carriage stared at the creature in shock.

"HEATHEN!" shouted the stallion as he unhitched himself and took off after the creature.

The scene was beginning to look like one of those old road-runner cartoons, with the creature being the bi-pedalus runnicus and the stallions the pissed-offus ponicus.

"What is that...thing?" said Luna.

"I don't know, but it's bleeding. It needs help." Celestia stared at the pony with the crossbow, narrowing her eyes in anger and recognition. "And the one with the cross-bow is a renowned bounty hunter."

Before Luna could say anything, Celestia took off, eager to apprehend the bounty hunter and confront the bi-pedal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"L..a? LUNA!"

"Huh? Wh-what?"

"Didn't you hear me?" said Celestia gleefully. "He's back to normal!"

Luna looked at the sleeping creature again, this time resisting the urge to have a flashback. Despite it's sleeping state, Luna could not shake the feeling of terror within her.

"He should be in the dungeons." said Luna as she kept her eyes fixed on the creature, as if it would open it's blood-thirsty eyes and attack if she looked away.

"I understand your concern." said Celestia, restraining her excitement. "But it is true. I proved it myself."

"How?"

"Remember that technique I conjured up to persuade the griffin king not kill me when I was captured?"

"I believe we all do." said Luna with an exaggerated nod.

"Well, I used it with him." said Celestia as she pointed a hoof at the creature.

It took Luna a few seconds to figure out what that meant.

"...You snuck into the dungeons, RELIEVED the guards on duty, ENTERED the creature-"

"Boy."

"...CREATURE'S...cell, and HUGGED HIM!?"

"He wasn't always a monster Luna!" said Celestia, now angered.

"HE COULD HAVE KILLED YOU!"

"LIKE YOU!?"

Luna's anger visibly dissolved like drooping ice. After realizing what she'd said, Celestia stopped scowling and turned her head away, feeling conflicted. They stood in silence for a while, neither of them attempting to make eye contact. The guards outside resisted the urge to look.

The princesses often bickered, but it was rare for them to raise their voices at one another. Even rarer for Celestia to bring up Luna's past.

Celestia sighed and walked over to gaze out of one of her windows, trying to calm her nerves.

"Everyone deserves a chance Luna, and I'd willingly put my life on the line for that chance any day or night."

Luna didn't respond, choosing to mask her hurt with anger and indifference. She turned around and headed towards the door.

"I want him escorted to Ponyville by Captain Armor. I will make the arrangements." said Luna sternly.

"It wouldn't matter."

Luna stopped just before exiting the room and turned to look at her sister with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" she asked.

"If he reverts back to...what he was before...it won't matter what we do." Celestia turned to fix her sister with an emotionless gaze. "We've already failed once. Discord won't be able to imprison him again. If we fail this time, there will be no stopping him."

"Unless we kill him first." said Luna. Celestia merely stared at her. Then she shook her head and chuckled darkly before looking back out the window..

"Like last time?"

Luna's scowl deepened. She took that as her cue to leave the room and shut the door.

Celestia continued gazing out of her window. She watched the beautiful morning sunlight wake up her city and her beloved subjects. She was comforted knowing that they were about to enjoy the privilege of living yet another day under her care and love. It made her giddy just thinking about it, but something in particular was worrying her.

"You don't have to pretend you weren't listening."

The boy's eyes opened instantly. He looked at Celestia with an expression that still could not be read. Well, read by anyone other than Celestia.

"Don't worry." said Celestia as she walked over to the bed. "Unless you purposefully attempt to harm anypony, I won't humor her idea. It's generally not the way I handle things."

The boy looked away from her before unraveling himself and slowly getting out of bed. He stretched and yawned, feeling rejuvenated in the warm sunlight. Afterwards, he just stood there, staring at the door Luna exited through. Celestia wondered if he was thinking about the reason the argument had started in the first place.

About the things he'd done.

Celestia didn't know if he remembered anything about his actions, but she didn't want to ask him. She had a hunch that he did remember based on the way he kept avoiding eye contact, but perhaps he was trying to forget it.

She shook her head. No. One does not simply forget what he's done.

She looked at his tattered, stained, clothes. She didn't like them. She used her horn to levitate him onto her back and put on a motherly smile

"Let's get you some new clothes hm?"

"Who...or rather what have I made these clothes for?" asked the stallion tailor. He had a slender frame with a reddish-brown coat and a red mane that was done up in a...ugh...ponytail.

The garments he had draped on his back were nothing special. Just a gray, long-sleeve shirt and a pair of blue-jeans. What baffled him was the shape. The sleeves were way too high above a pony's chest and the pant's were far too straight and long. Even minotaurs' wouldn't be able to wear them without some major modifications. The black, lace-less sneakers were also oddly shaped.

Celestia smiled at the stallion as she levitated the clothes off of his back

"A breed of creature the likes of which you have never seen."

The tailor gave her a confused look before shrugging and bidding her farewell. It wasn't his job to concern himself with newly discovered creatures. He'd tried that as a colt and had nearly been eaten more times than he'd like to admit. His family consisted of a band of hunters that sought out rare and dangerous creatures. He'd gotten his cutie mark the day he decided to design a camouflage outfit for his older brother.

Celestia let out a sigh of relief when the tailor was out of sight. She knew about his family. She knew about his great-grandfather, Hoof-Helsing. He'd hunted and captured many dangerous creatures with ease throughout his life, creating a name for himself as the greatest monster hunter ever conceived. He'd even managed to snare and trap Cerberus. Why? Because he decided he wanted another pet one morning.

She also knew about his last hunt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He'd been hot on the trail of a creature that had massacred a whole village over a night, guards and all. After three days, his family, more specifically his overly-protective wife, began to get worried. He'd neglected to take his son's with him, and she dreaded why. On top of that, he'd left quickly during the middle of the night. He never left without giving her a goodbye kiss.

She organized a search party and ventured out, tracking her husband like the animal he often willed himself to become. Fortunately, she'd convinced her husband to leave clues during his hunts in case something happened. That way, she'd be able to find him as fast as possible.

Using these clues, she was able to track him through the dense forests that blanketed the area. The clues were usually just rocks or sticks arranged in a circle, but that changed a few days into the search.

They came upon a large opening in the forest, but I'm not just talking about an open field with grass. The reason there was a clearing was because the trees had been knocked down, snapped in half, and broken to pieces. From that point on, the trail changed from sticks and stones to fallen trees and branches.

And steel-tipped arrows.

Helsing created all of his weapons. The perfectly aerodynamic shape of the arrows were of his craftmanship, the best of their time. He'd tried to shoot whatever he was tracking. And he didn't miss. Helsing never missed. All of the arrow-heads were either broken off or dented flat, indicating that they'd hit something and bounced right off. These were arrows that could pierce through a dragon's hide and out the other end, so the search party became afraid, both for themselves, and for what they'd find. But his wife was determined. She'd find Helsing, or die trying.

A few more hours later, the search party stumbled upon something that brought Helsing's wife to tears almost instantly.

His breast-plate.

It was mangled and torn apart as if it were aluminum, which it definitely wasn't. He'd created the breast-plate from a metal that even dragon's couldn't bite through without the immediate need of a dentist, but there it lay. As they got closer to it, they could even see teeth marks.

When they looked around, they could see several charred holes on the trees, as if they'd been blasted by fire. Some of them had even been blasted in half. Helsing wasn't a unicorn, nor did he carry any explosive weaponry that could potentially harm innocents. The search party began to think it was a dragon, but if that were the case, why would it wait to blow flames a few hours into the chase? The charred marks also didn't match up with dragons breath. They seemed succint and concentrated, like a unicorn blast.

To make matters worse, the trail of fallen tree's stopped, and a blood trail began. Judging by how Helsing's dog whinnied when she sniffed it, the blood belonged to him.

A day later into the search, the blood-trail hadn't let up. This was strange, seeing as Helsing wasn't dumb enough not to tend to a wound and stop the bleeding. He always carried medical supplies with him. To further this point, they came across an empty bottle of antiseptic and alcohol surrounded by shreds of gauze. He'd stopped to patch himself up, but judging by the continued blood-trail, he was either bleeding too profusely or didn't have enough gauze to cover his wounds.

Later, it became obvious from the way the ground looked that Helsing had lost the strength to trot and was now crawling, leaving a smeared blood-trail behind him. His wife argued with the search party to decline rest so that they could find her husband before he bled out. After all, the blood trail was getting fresher, indicating that they weren't far behind him.

The next morning, as they were close to collapsing from a lack of rest, they had somepony climb a tree once more to scan ahead for dangers or clues. Less than thirty minutes away, there was a small plume of smoke rising from the trees.

His wife took off with a look of tearful joy on her face, leaving the search party to chase after her. As she got closer, she began to see somepony sitting down in front of a tree...

It was princess Celestia.

The princess heard the group approaching from behind and turned to look at them. The sight was enough to slow both Helsing's wife and the search party to a slow trot.

When they were less than five feet away from her, they stopped and stared at the princess with a look of bewilderment. She was wearing her royal, golden, armor, but she looked beaten up. One of her eye's was swollen and there was blood trailing from her swollen muzzle. Her armor, said to to be indestructible, was covered in dents and scrapes.

Even more surprising was the look on her face. Teary eyed and pain stricken. They'd never seen her look like that before. They could also hear sobbing, but not from her. It sounded like a young colt or filly.

Without a word, Celestia stood and stepped aside.

There, sitting at the base of the tree, was a burly, silvery-gray stallion with a black mane that had a white stripe running through the middle of it. Helsing. His body was limp and motionless. His left forehoof appeared to be horrifically broken and his whole body was covered in cuts and bruises. His midsection looked the worst. It was wrapped in bandages, but completely soaked in dark, fresh, blood. There was blood dripping from his nose and mouth where his head hung low...there was blood everywhere.

Sitting to his left was a sobbing dark-blue colt with a blonde mane. Helsing's wife recognized him as one of the colts from the village that had been destroyed. He was also covered in scrapes and bruises, but aside from his bandaged hoof, none appeared serious.

Helsing's wife stepped forward, filled with as much denial as she could possibly muster. Each step felt heavy, as if there weren't enough air in her lungs to trot..

"H-Hoof?" she said as she gradually got closer. "I've been worried s-sick about you..." She was now standing right in front of him, her tears still flowing freely. For a while, she just stared at him, as she were waiting for something. "Hoof? Why won't you...why won't you say something?"

The search party looked away from the scene. Celestia levitated the crying colt to her and let him sob into her chest before doing the same.

"HOOF!" she yelled as she put her hooves on his shoulders. "I'M IN NO MOOD FOR-"

She wrenched her hooves back with a gasp.

Cold. Ice cold.

She backed away and nearly fell onto her haunches with disbelieving, pin-pricked eyes. She started to shake as her shocked expression gave way to to pain and tears. Slowly, she raised her hooves in front of her and stared at them as if they weren't there. As if they were infected with a deadly disease. As if they were lies themselves.

"I...I'm sorry..." said Celestia in a broken tone.

Helsing's wife moved her hooves to her eyes and screamed before breaking out into loud sobs.

The search party also began to cry. Except one. Helsing's brother, Grim. Upon realizing that his only brother had been murdered, his heart began to beat faster. HIS brother, the one he'd promised to take care of on their parent's deathbeds'. HIS brother, the pony he'd taught everything he knew. HIS brother...

The one that was killed by a true MONSTER.

Through a teary haze, he looked at the ground in front of his deceased brother. There was a burnt out campfire, and something next to it. There lied Helsing's dagger. Or what was left of it. Half of the blade was missing, as if it had been snapped off somehow. It was made of an even harder alloy than his breast-plate.

Below it was a jaggedly carved picture in the dirt. It was difficult to see because of the hoof-steps and blood, but one feature was clear.

A bi-pedal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you really believe you can keep him a secret from the world?"

Celestia blinked twice before looking around the hallway. She saw no one, but recognized his voice.

"All they know is that a creature took hundreds of lives a long time ago." said Celestia as she began trotting back to her throne room for duty. "I doubt that they'll associate that with him."

A pair of eyes opened on the wall, revealing two red pupils. Discord then materialized the rest of his body and stepped out of the wall as if it wasn't solid at all.

"I'm aware that you've taken measures to ensure that Equestria forgets about him," said Discord as he floated after her. "But I wouldn't count on it."

"And why's that?" said Celestia with a threatening tone.

"Your subjects aren't stupid." In a flash of light, Discord appeared in Celestia's path. "They will find out."

"Not if we do our jobs." said Celestia sternly.

"It's only a matter of time before Luna finds out that he can be killed now."

"Any chaotic phenomenon to report following his release?" said Celestia as she walked around him. Discord was put off by her obvious denial, but he sighed and gave up. The mare had made up her mind to ignore it.

"I've kept my ear to the ground." said Discord as he pointed to where one of his ears should have been. "So far, nothing out of the ordinary your majesty."

"Good." said Celestia, rolling her eyes at his tone. They approached the door to the throne room and opened it. "The last thing we need is more ch-"

"YOUR MAJESTY!"

Discord and Celstia turned their heads to see two panic stricken guards running up to them.

"What's wrong?" said Celestia, fearing the worst. She'd left the boy in her room. Had he-

"THERE'S BEEN A MURDER!"

Author's Note:

Ok! Starting to get the hang of posting these chapters via mobile phone. Still annoying though. Also, I left out some details during the Helsing part on purpose. Try to piece together what happened! :) Have some fun eh?

Also, Pinkie says hi.
If you're seeing two authors notes, don't ask me why. I just don't know what went wrong.

Comments

[Gobeman]

GOD DANG IT!

[Zackrobbman]

6197307 You seem upset good sir.

[Gobeman]

6197434 the last bit how would celestia otherwise react....

[Zackrobbman]

6197454 Hehe...

Man these eponicons are fun!

[Gobeman]

6197468
like this celestia
(hits box)

"WE HAVE A MURDER"

[Zackrobbman]

6197478

[Zackrobbman]

6197603 Yes! Someone got it! Thanks!

[Enternal]

Lovely, simply lovely, though ass should be as and you have a weird thing with a [ near the beginning. It was great.
Do write more, and fast!

[Zackrobbman]

6198640 Thanks pal!

[Tyrannosaurus_Tux]

Solving problems with hugs.

Cuddlestia confirmed.

[Zackrobbman]

6201902 I was trying to hint that I the AUTHOR was getting used to writing a story about ponies buuuuuuttt....guess I didn't make that clear enough. Sorry dude

[Icarus_Con_Queso]

yo, is Backbone a reference to this: (towards the very end)

[Zackrobbman]

6707139 Hm. Nope.

[Crom251]

There just didn't seem to be anything quite ass beautiful as the spark of civilization at night.

I am a child.
Heehee.