Clusterbuck to City Hall

by Caddy Finz

Chapter 13: A Visit From the Higher-Ups

"And then he just left her there, girls!" Octavia said to Vinyl along with Twilight and four of friends. "I'll bet that poor little filly barely even knows her own father!"

"And to think I let him get to home base..." Rarity said, wistfully. "I thought I was better than that."

"Hey, it's no big whoop, Rares." Vinyl assured. "We're gonna see if we can make something out of the trust he has for you. You'll be our girl on the inside."

"In that case..." Octavia began. "It would be best if you weren't seen with us, Rarity. Nothing personal. We just can't let him know that we are working together if you're going to be helping us."

"You can wear this mustache!" Pinkie pie said as she placed a fake mustache on Rarity's face.

"Pinkie, I don't think that'll work." Twilight deadpanned. "Anypony with a brain can tell that it's Rar-"

"Hey sorry I'm late, girls!" Rainbow Dash said as she hastily entered the library. "Some airhead decided to crash into a fire hydrant and take off. I had to get like five trucks up there to block off the str-Hellooo, and who's this hunky stud?"

"You were saying?" Pinkie said smugly as she turned back to Twilight.

"It's just me, Rainbow." Rarity clarified. "Is it really that convincing though?"

"W-what the f-Rarity?!" Rainbow said.

"You're such a weirdo, you know that, Dash?"

"Whatever. I'd still do you."

"What was that?"

"I said 'trains go choo choo.'"

"Ahem! Anyway, ladies..." Vinyl cleared her throat. "Me and Twilight did some digging around and we think we've found a way we can get the word spread and get some support for our campaign."

The rest of the ponies' interest was peaked and they were began to listen intently to what Vinyl had to say. It was of utmost importance that they knew every detail of the plan as it could be very helpful to their cause.

"Okay Twilight, care to explain?" Vinyl asked as she gave Twilight the floor to speak.

"Thank you, Vinyl." Twilight replied. "So, we've made some calls and we have set up something pretty cool. I've learned that none other than the royal sisters Princesses Celestia and Luna plan on visiting Ponyville next Friday."

"Oh, that's very nice." Fluttershy said. "What are they coming for?"

"Well, its more or less a casual visit but I've talked to them in advance and they've agreed to spend some time with us...out in the open."

"Hey, yeah! That's a great idea!" Pinkie said. "So when ponies see them chillin' with us, they'll think Octavia's that much more groovy."

"Does anypony even say 'groovy' anymore?" Rarity asked. "That is so 1975."

"Not the word I'd use but yeah, that's pretty much what we're going for." Vinyl confirmed.

"Tubular." Octavia said. "So, what exactly are we going to do?"

"Well Tavi, I really think on such short notice, we'll just have to go bar trotting with them. We'll all have to just hang out with them and take it easy on the drinking. Remember, we're trying to look good. Got it?"

"Never thought I'd hear that come out of your mouth, Vinyl. Are you feeling alright?"

"Aw c'mon Tavi, I can be as professional and responsible as you any day."

As the group waited for the following Friday, they passed the time by handing out fliers and Vinyl even searched for a small fleet of vans that could be used to further promote their campaign. Despite the more important event being a whole week away, there was constant work to be done and there was no time to waste and every moment had to be spent doing something productive. Be it fund raisers, visits with business owners or interviews with press, everypony's schedule was completely booked and Octavia was only able to see Caramel briefly for a few times. Even though Vinyl was Octavia's head campaign manager, that still did not mean that she could take time off from her job at the record store and was now working there fifty hours a week on top of everything else.

It seemed that Octavia's campaign was off to a good start as many ponies around town were pleased with her promises and her plans for fixing the town. Filthy Rich however, was no exception and he seemed to have just about as much support as his opponent. Octavia was popular with mostly the younger more vibrant crowd whereas Filthy had the middle aged and older residents in his favor with a few of the more conservative twenty somethings and vice versa. Still though, Vinyl and especially Twilight were confident that the visit from her royal mentor and her sister would be helpful in swaying the public towards their direction.

After much anticipation and a week that seemed like an eternity, the day finally came as Octavia, Vinyl, Twilight and all of her friends including a disguised rarity waited for the royal sisters at the train station platform. Soon, the train arrived at the station just as it was scheduled to at five O'clock on the dot and it slowly came to a stop right before the group. The sound of the door opening and closing could be heard through the cloud of smoke before the train left as soon as it arrived.

After a brief moment, the smoke cleared revealing Princesses Celestia and Luna and...

"Why the hell did you bring him?!" Twilight yelled, taking note of the presence of none other than Discord, founder and ceo of DisKord Motor Company.

"Well, bombdigiddy seeing you too, Twilight." Princess Celestia sarcastically replied. "I mean, it's not like I was looking forward to seeing my only student I see as a daughter or anything."

"Yeah Twilight, like lighten up." Princess Luna chuckled. "He's actually pretty dank to chill with."

The two regal sisters and their draconiqus friend were not in Ponyville for business matters as their attire clearly showed. Princess Celestia was wearing a checker pattern tank top, a short purple skirt, a green headband and matching leggings with here mane done up in a ponytail.

Princess Luna sported a light blue tube top with the phrase "It's My Sister's Fault" in black letters on the front. The rest of her outfit included a darker blue skirt with a pink headband, leggings of the same color and her mane in a ponytail more towards the left side of her head.

Discord donned a neon orange pressed shirt with the collar unfolded, a pair of green tinted aviator sunglasses, tight bluejeans and red high-top shoes. A pack of Manehatten Gold cigarettes could also be seen jutting out of the front pocket of his shirt. Acting as if he was oblivious to Twilight being displeased by his presence, the crazy corporate big shot lit up a cigarette and greeted the irritated unicorn the only way he knew how.

"Oh, little Twiley!" Discord exclaimed. "It's been way too long, kiddo! C'mere, Uncle Discord's got something for you!"

"I'm sooo excited." Twilight deadpanned. "Lemme guess. Is it noo-"

"Noogies!"

Discord then proceeded to bring Twilight in for an uncomfortably tight hug, make a fist of his lion paw and rub the top of her head, messing up her mane and making her all the more irritated. The sudden outburst of hard laughter from the royal sisters and the rest of her friends including even Octavia made Twilight feel immensely embarrassed and quite irate making her horn heat up to a cherry red glow. She hoped that her horn becoming dangerous to touch would make discord stop but much to her dismay, he had come prepared and continued to rub her mane while now wearing an oven mit.

"Discord?..."

"Yes, Twilight dearest?"

"If you don't let go of me now, I will fucking end you."

---

"I'm so honored to have finally met you all." Octavia said to the princesses and Discord.

"Gnarly, babe." Celestia replied. "So what's the four-one-one? Got any hot clubs around here?"

"You just read my mind, Your Majesty." Vinyl said. "At this time of day, they start drawing the crowd in. They're all over town nowadays so first I figured we'd try out The Slos-hey! Where are you all going?!"

While Vinyl was explaining things, the two princesses and Discord all darted off into their own separate directions, leaving the group in their dust. As the dust cleared, they all watched in awe as the three overly eager immortal beings disappeared into the distance.

"Shit!" Pinkie pie said. "If this is gonna be another search party like chapter two, I'm gonna be pissed!"

"What th- 'chapter two'?" Octavia asked, confused. "Pinkie, what are you tal-"

"Do not!..." Twilight began as she frantically covered Octavia's mouth with her hoof. "...question Pinkie's logic! Ever!"

"Why not?" Vinyl asked.

"Because it would be very bad!"

"I don't get it." Octavia said. "I'm not following on how that's such a bad thing."

"Try to imagine the dimensions of the fourth wall as we know them crumpling up before our very eyes and the entire universe exploding into a hypernova!" Twilight answered.

"Okay that does sound bad. Important safety tip. Thanks, Twilight."

"Psst. Hey, Pinkie." Vinyl whispered as she nudged the crazy Earth pony with her elbow. "You weren't even there. how did you kno-"

"Hey! Y'all heard the mare!" Applejack yelled. "Just let it go!"

---

"I can't believe they ran off on us!" Octavia groaned as she, Vinyl and Fluttershy went after Princess Celestia. "When we catch up with her, we'll have to try to re-group with the rest of the gang and go from there."

Twilight teamed up with Applejack and Rainbow Dash to chase down Discord while Rarity and Pinkie went to bring Princess Luna back. It was turning out to be a frustrating turn of events having to find the trio of big shots on vacation but luckily, the night was very young and there was plenty of time as it was not even dark yet.

"I think she went this way." Fluttershy said. "Maybe she's here at Gay Pony's place."

"He's a pretty rad dude for being in his forties." Vinyl answered. "Okay, let's check it out."

Gay Pony's was a very upscale and exclusive club but since Vinyl was with them, the bouncer did not hesitate to step aside and let them in as she had often DJ'd there. As they entered they soon found that sure enough, the sun princess had beaten them to the punch as she bumped and ground on the dance floor with every stallion and mare alike who worked up the nerve to get down with her.

Seeing this as good a time as any to put their plan into action, Octavia and Vinyl approached the dance floor and joined the princess who was now inhaling several mixed drinks she had hovering in her aura. With a little encouragement from Vinyl, even the meek Fluttershy hopped onto the floor to show her surprisingly raw moves while Stallions Without Hats played throughout the building. Fluttershy was always a very timid girl but with help from her friends over the years, especially from Rainbow Dash, she had gotten the better of many of her fears and was enjoying such activities more than she did in the past.

After a few minutes of dancing with royalty, it seemed as if their publicity stunt was starting to work as ponies in every corner of the building were now aware that Octavia was there with the princess. Octavia was having a blast and bettering her campaign at the same time and the minor setback was proving to be just that.

Meanwhile, with Rarity and Pinkie Pie

"There she is!" Rarity exclaimed after spotting the princess of the night life at the Pixels and Pizza arcade.

Princess Luna was playing an intense game of Mulekong against a little brown colt with a yellowish orange mane, the latter proving to quite the worthy adversary. As the contest neared it's end with the scores neck and neck, the clever princess came up with an idea on how to sway the tide in her favor.

"Yo, Button!" Luna said, addressing the young Earth colt.

"What is it Lulu?" The colt answered. "Can't this wait until I'm done making you my bitch?"

"What's your mom doing tonight?"

"And that's none of your damn business anyw-what?! Hey no fair! You distracted me!"

"Awe c'mon kiddo, you know it just wasn't going to happen this time! You're getting better though!"

"Ohoho, this isn't over, Princess! Just you wait, I'll take you down next time! Good game, though!"

"As always, it was a pleasure making you look like a newbie."

"Heheheh. Don't get cute, Lulu, you're undefeated title is as good as over next time!"

The crowd was going absolutely nuts as Luna and Button bumped hooves and the latter took his leave. The princess then proceeded to spread her wings and hover above the room full of ponies in search of another challenger.

"Does anypony here have the guts to try and best me at gaming?!" Luna shouted. "Or are you all going to run home with your tails tucked between your legs and cower before my radicalness?!"

"Pinkie! This is your chance!" Rarity said as she adjusted her green wig and large thick framed glasses she used as a disguise. "Get in there and mop the floor with her!"

"Well? Anypony?" Luna said as she continued to look for a pony with the nerve to challenge her. "C'mon, I'll even let you pick the next game!"

"Sacman!" Pinkie called out.

"Hahahahaha! You do realize that's the game that I'm best at, right? Not even my sister can best me at it! I even beat her blindfolded!"

"I know, that's why I'm picking this one. I want there to be some challenge in this. It'll be boring if its too easy."

Luna then lowered herself back to the ground, folded her wings and proceeded to trot over to the nearest two player Sacman arcade machine. Pinkie then immediately followed and took her position as Luna inserted the first bit into the refrigerator sized gaming machine.

"Get ready to get bitch slapped, pinkie baby!" Luna mocked.

"Don't bet on it!" Pinkie replied.

Ten Minutes Later...

"Hey everypony!" Rarity shouted as she burst out the door of the pizza parlor. "Check it out! That pink chick who works with Octavia just creamed Princess freaking Luna at Sacman!"

Meanwhile, With Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack

"Ah think ah saw him runnin' 'round here somewhere!" Applejack said as they came to a stop in front of Berry's Bar.

"I'll bet he's in there!" Said Rainbow Dash.

"Why so much emphasis on the word 'in'?" Twilight asked.

"Uh...yeah I guess that wasn't really necessary was it?"

The trio entered the small but very nice tavern to see Discord at a table in the back hoof wrestling with another patron. It was a white, heavily muscular pegasus stallion with poorly developed wings and a set of weights for a cutie mark. Discord appeared to be having no trouble and made quick work of this stallion and to add insult to injury, he had done it with his thinner eagle claw arm.

"Discord! Discord! Discord! Discord! Discord!"

The small crowd that formed in the bar was chanting Discord's name as the defeated stallion went to drink his embarrassment away. He then got up from his chair and started showing off even more by flexing his muscles, drawing the attention of several mares who started oggling over him like infatuated school fillies.

"Looks like a job for this 'ol farm girl." Applejack said as she limbered up. "Yo, Twig-boy! How 'bout ya put yer bits where yer glass jaw is and git ready for a whoopin' Sweet Apple Acres style!"

"There's no way you'll be able to beat him, Applejack!" Twilight said. "Not after taking down that huge guy!"

"Just watch, Twi. Ah've got an idea."

"Ha! Well whatever it is, sweetheart, it won't make any difference." Discord said smugly as he placed his claw into position on the table.

Applejack then placed her hoof in Discord's claw and waited for the bar owner's signal and quickly put her plan into action. She put on a seductive pair of bedroom eyes that would make any Las Pegasus working mare proud and played it out at just the right time.

"Ya know, Discord, ah always thought ya were kinda cute." Applejack said, catching Discord's attention. "What say when we're done, we ditch this place and go to mah barn and find some fun of our own?"

"One, two, three, go!" Berry Punch said, giving the signal for the two contestants to begin.

Thud!

---

"This doesn't have to get to the media, right?" Discord nervously said as he walked with Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Twilight to regroup with the rest of the gang.

"Oh I don't think we'd have any control over that at this point, buddy." Rainbow Dash replied. "After all, a lot of ponies saw you get beaten after going all slack-jawed when you thought Applejack was hitting on you."

"Aw, don't feel bad, Discord." Applejack reassured. "If it makes ya feel any better, I meant what I said 'bout ya not bein' a half bad lookin' guy."

Everypony agreed to meet back at Gay Pony's and hang out there for the remainder of the night. After all three immortal beings were back in the same building, the group continued to party and Octavia began looking better and better in the public eye with each passing minute. It seemed that everything was now going according to plan until she looked over to where Princess Celestia was dancing and realized there was now a problem that could make the whole thing backfire.

On the dance floor, the tipsy princess was bumping and grinding up against none other than Filthy Rich himself who looked as if he was having the time of his life. Octavia could not allow this entire day of her planned publicity stunt to go down the tubes and had no other choice but to quit while they were ahead.

"Vinyl! Abort mission! Abort Mission!" Octavia called out as she pointed at the princess which prompted Vinyl to spit out her drink.

"Oh shit!" Vinyl said. "Girls! Discord! We're getting outta here! Move it!"

---

"How was I supposed to *burp!* know that he was your opponent?" Princess Celestia slurred as the group made their way back to Twilight's library for the night.

"It's okay, your highness." Octavia reassured. "I know more ponies saw you with us than with him anyway. I'd say the whole thing was a success."

"Thanks, Octavia. You know I wouldn't try to mess things up on purpose."

"And that's why I wear this top!" Princess Luna exclaimed jokingly. "Its always your fault weather you like it or not."

"Oh bag your face, Lulu."

Comments

[michaelb958]

"Well, bombdigiddy seeing you too, Twilight." Princess Celestia replied.

"Yeah Twilight, like lighten up." Princess Luna chuckled. "He's actually pretty dank to chill with."

My new favourite princess interpretation!

Kinda reminds me of Luna's ultra-modern manner of speech in Earth & Sky (which is good, and you should read it) - except it was less extreme over there

[steastritz]

"Do not!..." Twilight began as she frantically covered Octavia's mouth with her hoof. "...question Pinkie's logic! Ever!"

"Why not?" Vinyl asked.

"Because it would be very bad!"

"I don't get it." Octavia said. "I'm not following on how that's such a bad thing."

"Try to imagine the dimensions of the fourth wall as we know them crumpl
ing up before our very eyes and the entire universe exploding into a hypernova!" Twilight answered.

"Okay that does sound bad. Important safety tip. Thanks, Twilight."

Luna...dammit

You pulled a Ghostbusters...you sly devil

[Straughter14]

Great story! I just finished reading it a few days ago! I like all the ways you pon-ify words like car names! This gave me a good chuckle. The ending was great and was a good happy one.
But I must ask: how would ponies bump and grind?