Chapter 4: Extra Help
Chapter 4: Extra Help
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He stared into the mirror and brought his hoof up placing it on his face. He didn't know what to feel by this sudden realization that somepony actually considered him a friend. His mind trailed off to thoughts of what might happen if Neon found out Lynx was really a changeling. Would he still think of Lynx as a friend? Shaking it off Lynx returned to his pony form and climbed onto the bed.
Te bed was soft, softer than anything he had slept on before. Granted before he slept in a stone hole in the wall back in the hive, and a couch the night before. Nuzzling his face into the pillow he lifted his new blanket over him. The bed was warm and relaxing, he felt all his troubles melt away as his eyes got heavy.
A bright flash of magical light burst through Lynx's window and he shot awake looking around. He then moved slowly over to the window peering out at the scene.
Royal Pegasus Guard flew in racing speeds down the street fallowing something. Flashes of light could be seen from Unicorns blasting magic at something.
Lynx was curious as to what was happening but didn't want to get involved, he just ignored the scene and went back to his bed.
The next morning Lynx woke up to Neon knocking on his door.
"Hey Lucky, you awake yet? its time for work!" He called form the other side of the door.
Lynx shot up grabbing his hat and getting the door opening it with his magic. "Sorry boss.."
Neon smiled bumping Lynx's shoulder "Don't worry about it, We don't open for awhile I just like getting you up early so you can help me prep for when we do open."
Lynx nodded slightly confused but didn't question it, as he really didn't know much about how these sort of things operated, Because this was his first job.
Neon led Lynx down stairs and briefed him on what needed to be done before they opened; Making sure the tables were clean, and making sure the juice ingredients and napkins were fully stocked.
Lynx understood the jobs, they seemed reasonable enough, Grasping a cloth in a sheath of his magic he went to start cleaning the tables. He wiped each table until they were squeaky clean, he really didn't want to disappoint Neon, the first pony to ever consider Lynx as a friend.
Neon was involved with his own prep-work when he heard a knock on the front door, walking over he peered out and then opened it "Can I help you?"
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"Yes I think you can I was hoping you still had a job opening here?"
Lynx's ears twitched at the sound of the voice coming from the pony from the door, turning his head his jaw dropped seeing Storm Dancer was standing at the door asking for a job.
"Hehe, well I'm going to be as honest with you as I was with Lucky. The pay isn't that good right now and you would have better pay from wherever your coming from." Neon said honestly.
"Oh I'm not worried about that, I've saved up enough bits to keep myself up on my hooves until this place picks up." She replied with a smile then noticing Lynx's expression and smiling waving a hoof at him.
Lynx waved back before focusing on the last table scrubbing it hard.
Neon smiled at her and nodded a small bead of sweat running down his temple "Well if you insist welcome to the crew of Golden Elixir, I'll go fetch you a hat."
Storm nodded stepping inside "Well that's good because I've already resigned form my last job I would hate to be jobless with the reconstruction still happening."
Neon's eyes widened and then he nodded, before walking into the back room to get Storm a hat.
Storm trotted over to Lynx smiling at him "Need some help?"
Lynx froze before smiling at er "N-no. er, I'm almost done... But I think Neon still needs the napkins and juice ingredients re-stocked."
Storm nodded "Okay where can I find the items to re-stock them?"
"To be honest I don't really know myself, they should be in back but I'm not entirely sure on the exact location."
Neon came back with a hat wrapped in his magic and approached Storm placing it on her head. "Welcome to the team. Now, would you mind being a waitress? I think it would be nice for ponies to just come, sit, order, and relax while sipping quality drinks."
"I wouldn't mind at all but what will that leave Lucky to do?"
"Lucky will be still on the register giving you the customers total for their bill." Neon Replied.
Storm nodded "Okay boss." She smiled before looking back to Lynx who had finished the last table.
"Alright Boss where are the napkins and extra drink supplies." Lynx replied placing the cloth down.
"Just in the back in labeled sections, you should be able to miss what your looking for."
Lynx nodded starting to walk to back room.
Storm fallowed him, "I'll help if that's okay?"
Lynx nodded as they both walked into the back room, Lynx grabbed the spare napkins in a sheath of his green magic while storm loaded the drink re-fills into a saddle bag to carry them all out to the front.
Once they both carried everything out and put it in the place it needed to go, Neon flipped the sign to open and Lynx took his place behind the counter while Storm took her place at the entrance. Neon rushed to his mixing station, the team was ready for the days business.
For the first while everything was quiet, it wasn't until about an hour after they opened that ponies began coming in. Storm informed them of the shops new system and ponies happily accepted the change taking their seats. Storm proved no slouch darting from table to table collecting orders and giving them to Lynx and Neon so they could price them out and get the ponies what they ordered.
Lynx was amazed at Storm's speed on her hooves and wondered how much faster she was in the sky. Shaking it off as he got another order pricing it out and noting which table it belonged to. He already had a collection of notes now posted on the wall beside the register on which table ordered what. Surprisingly he was great at multitasking with his magic, writing down new notes and adding to old ones he had posted.
Neon was the most impressive mixing like no tomorrow filling an order almost as soon as it came in. Customers had their drinks and space quickly filled up even pouring out onto the tables outside.
Between recording orders for Storm and pricing those out in his head, Lynx also had the job of taking customers orders who needed take-out orders and passing them off to Neon.
Neon was silently concerned in the back of his mind about his friend. That was soon shattered when he saw the fierce determination in Lynx's eyes as he worked.
Lynx greeted each customer with a smile as he took their order always keeping an ear open for Storm to give him another order for ponies who where staying.
It wasn't long before Lynx saw a familiar face, the young yellow unicorn from before.
She trotted in looking around at the ponies sitting and enjoying the drinks, smiling she pulled out a notepad writing a few things down before going over and sitting down at a table in the far corner of the floor.
Storm was quick to greet her with a welcoming smile, "Hi there, welcome to the Golden Elixir. My name is Storm Dancer."
"Hello Ms Dancer, may I have a menu please?" She asked politely.
"Certainly I'll be right back." Storm dashed off to collect a menu and then came back placing it in front of her. Seeing another pony flag her down she smiled at the yellow unicorn. "I'll be right back, I just need to take care of another customer than I'll be happy to take your order." And like a bolt of lightning she zipped over to help the other pony.
The unicorn glossed over the menu and decided on the Neon Blitz after seeing its contents. She placed down the menu and waited for Storm to return.
Storm rushed over smiling, "So sorry about that, have you decided on what you would like?" she asked.
The unicorn nodded, "I'll have one Neon Blitz."
Storm nodded, "Great choice." She rushed over to Lynx giving him the order so Neon could get to work.
Lynx typed it in while Neon mixed her drink. Neon placed the glass on the tray on top for the counter getting back to work. Once Neon was finished Storm took the drink and placed it down in front of the yellow unicorn.
"One Neon Blitz, enjoy." Storm said before going to help another customer who was flagging her down.
The shop was busy with ponies nearly every table was filled and the outside tables had ponies out chatting on them as well, enjoying the sun with their drinks.
The young yellow unicorn took a sip of the drink through the straw and smiled before taking out her notepad writing down a few things before looking around seeing all the happy ponies. Putting away her notepad she sat and enjoyed her drink in the comfortable chair.
Storm soon returned to check on her, "How's everything?" She asked
The Unicorn smiled as she finished her drink, "Simply amazing, I think I'm ready to pay my bill."
Storm nodded rushing over to Lynx, "I need the bill for table twelve Lucky."
Lynx nodded grabbing the bill from the wall and handed it to Storm, "Here you go."
Storm smiled taking the note and rushing over to the unicorn not wanting to keep her waiting and placed the bill.
She smiled at the bill pulling out the necessary bits as well as a tip before standing up and walking out.
Storm scooped up the bits trotting over Lynx so he could put the bill in the trash and the bits in the register.
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As the day went on traffic slowed, despite this they still had a steady flow of walk-ins. Lynx was washing his station while he had a moment and his ear perked at the sound of two mares gossiping at the table closest to the register.
"Did you hear about that big scene the guards made last night?"
"Yeah I did, something about some changelings getting into the city right?"
"That's the one, I heard about it from my special somepony, he said they cornered and trapped about four of them trying to get some couple in an ally."
"Well its a good thing they were stopped, I wouldn't sleep at all tonight if I knew a changeling was free in the city. I mean how could any pony after what those monsters did?"
Lynx cringed softly hoping no pony would notice. If they only knew that they were only a few meters from one of the 'monsters' that they feared so much. It was then he noticed he was remarkably hungry when he heard a loud growl from his stomach. What would he do for food? He was so used to getting his nutrients from the love of ponies he didn't know what he was supposed to eat now. He had no idea what pony food would taste like or what effect it might have on his body.
"I know what you mean, well its I'm just glad my special somepony stopped them when he did."
"Yeah, I'm glad the royal guard are on top of the situation too."
They finished their drinks paying and then walking out. Lynx felt sick as well as hungry, what if somepony found out? he would be doomed, and with having no idea about what they would do to him if they found out his mind delved into the possibilities. Shaking it off he focus on the fact he was hungry he went over to Neon. "Hey is there any chance I could take a break to eat something?"
Neon tossed a doughnut at Lynx's head, it twirled around and rested on his horn. "Here help yourself, I always keep a box on hand encase I get hungry while on the job."
Lynx nodded levitating the doughnut off his horn at took a bite, the sweet sugary goodness made him smile. He had never tasted food so delicious and his taste buds thanked him for it. He devoured the doughnut quickly and smiled at Neon. "Thank you."
Neon smiled as he finished a doughnut himself "That's what friends are for, and besides why should I hog them all when a friend is hungry and needs something, to do so would just be rude and selfish."
Lynx nodded softly, he was happy that Neon was his friend and made Lynx one so quickly. And the doughnuts where a great benefit. Lynx made a silent vow to repay Neon's generosity in someday, though he wondered if he really could survive on doughnuts alone? Taking more he stuffed his face until the growling in his stomach subsided.
The last of the customers began leaving and ponies returned to their flat's for the night. Upon the last pony leaving Storm flipped the open sign to closed and walked back over to Neon and Lynx who where sitting back over at a table. "Well that was a busy work day huh?" She asked as she sat down at the table with them.
"Eyyyyup." Neon said leaning back before looking at them both, "You know what? Its kinda late, and I don't really want to force either of you to cook so why don't you stay for dinner Storm."
"Aw thanks Boss." Storm replied.
"Just call me Neon you two, boss just seems a little too formal."
Lynx and Storm both nodded as they watched Neon get up to go get dinner.
Lynx looked at Storm as a faint blush spread across his face, he didn't really get a good look at her before when they were working but now that he actually saw her wearing the hat over her mane he couldn't help but think she was beautiful.
Storm noticed his blush and smiled, "What is it Lucky?" She asked him while they waited for their dinner.
"N-nothing at all." He said looking back down at the table.
Storm giggled bumping Lynx's Shoulder with her hoof, "Liar." She moved her chair closer to him, "Spill it Lucky what's on your mind; be honest."
Lynx gulped as he looked over to her noticing she was closer to him, "u-uh well I just thought you looked kinda cute in that hat storm."
"Kinda cute?"
Lynx nodded.
"Well you don't Look so bad yourself." She said back smiling before Neon brought in some hay fries along with some dandelion sandwiches. "Yum."
Neon placed a plate in front of each of them and sat back down, "To a successful second work day." He said as he lifted his fork.
"To a new job!" Storm shouted as she picked up her fork.
"To two of the greatest ponies I've ever had the pleasure of meeting." Lynx said as he looked at them both picking up his fork, he noticed they were both smiling at him before they each started eating. He began to eat as well, he was surprised to learn that Neon was an amazing cook as well as Drink mixer. He never had pony food before so trying it now was an experience he wouldn't trade for anything in all of Equestria.
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A few spelling errors that are easily overlooked, nothing to worry about. Great chapter.
I'm sensing a potential source of food for Lynx from Storm Chaser
.
Lynx will have both necessities covered. Food for Lucky Star from Neon, and food for Lynx from Storm Chaser.
Good story so far.
Couple of things that you can work on. First off is that you have some minor spelling issues. Over all not to bad, but it is there.
Second the pace of the story feels rushed at times. What I mean is that as soon as Lynx was separated from Chrysalises mind control, he wants to change completely without us getting a real reason as to why. Yes he wants to fit in, but for someone who used to be a part of a hive mind their entire life, who grew up with sucking out the love from a pony to becoming someone who blushes and stares to long at a mare is a pretty big leap in a really short period of time. What I am saying is we need more character development. Since these are your oc's then you need to give us more info on them then say this story was about the mane six. We already know the story for the mane six, we don't know the story of your oc's.
Sorry about how this came out. It's five in the morning here, so my thoughts are a little jumbled. I will re-read this story later and then try to point out some things. For the most part this is a very interesting story and I can not wait to see where it leads.
This is awesome.
Character development needs to be deciphered by the reader - Not told to them; Back-stories, thoughts, and feelings need to be presented - not explained.
He stared into the mirror and brought his hoof up placing it on his face.
Lynx nodded slightly confused but didn't question it, as he really didn't know much about how these sort of things operated, Because this was his first job.
You left out two commas, and when you use the same compounding word twice in the same compound sentence it doesn't flow well.
Neon led Lynx down stairs and briefed him on what needed to be done before they opened; Making sure the tables were clean, and making sure the juice ingredients and napkins were fully stocked.
When you have a semicolon the "such as" is unnecessary.
He wiped each table until they were squeaky clean
Now, would you mind being a waitress?
The shop was busy with ponies nearly every table was filled and the outside tables had ponies out chatting on them as well, enjoying the sun with their drinks.
How's everything?
Just call me Neon you two, boss just seems a little too formal.
Spill it Lucky what's on your mind; be honest.
In a world of magical, talking ponies? I'm not touching it, it could be an error... or it could be a magical plant that actually looks like a real lions head instead of the usual dandelion.
4866056 While you might be correct, he still has to be careful..