The Perfect Sucker
From her perch on her cloud, Screwball stared down at the ponies of the small little town, her child-like, chaotic imagination trying to piece together what she could do. Obviously, if she went straight away and started plunging Ponyville into total anarchy, the Element Bearers would catch onto it almost immediately, and then SHE’D be the statue that tourists would end up making fun of in the gardens.
“Hmmm. This is the one downside to being a demi-godess. Too many possibilities.” Screwball said to herself, while idly spinning the propeller on her hat.
Still in her state of thought for revenge scheming, Screwball almost didn’t notice the flash of light out of the corner of her eye. She turned around slightly to see that in the light’s absence was now a block of text floating not too far from her head.
To Screwballs: Hello Screwball, allow me to present ourself, we are bipedal monkey aliens that don't have anything to do but to talk to random ponies about stupid things and annoy their lifes as a result, and we are happy to announced that you has been chosen as our next vic.. pony friend, we will be accompany you averywhere at anytime until we get bore, or the author does, what can you expect from us? mmmm... not much really, we may tell you some secrets or predictions from time to time, there a lot of things about Ponyville and Equestria that we can tell you, anything that can help you really, or not, anyway, please take care of us, and we might take care of you.
P.S. Everypony can see us too, you are just our principal pony, be carefull what you say to us and where you are, we will appear out of nowhere regadless who may be with you and accidentally blow your cover, but I think we can works something out.
Screwball cocked an eyebrow.
“Well well well. It seems that I’ve attracted the attention of interdimensional beings that wish to aid in my revenge quest huh? Well, you’d better know what you’re doing, cause I’ll need as much Chaos as possible if I wanna get daddy out of that statue.” Screwball responded to the block. Upon answering it, the text disappeared in another flash of bright light.
“Hehehe. This should be quite fun shouldn’t it? I’m pretty sure there are those of you that have many of the same, demented thoughts that I have, so go on. Shoot. Help a filly out here.” Screwball said to the beings watching her.
As if on cue, another flash of light occurred, and another text box was in its place.
Hello Screwball... I was wondering if I gave you this Medusa whip how would you use it?
(Note it can turn things struck to stone temporarily)
Accompanying the text box in the same light, a strange whip had appeared and landed on the cloud in front of her. Screwball eyed the weapon curiously and began to think of the possibilities. Of course, the most enticing thing in her twisted little mind was thinking of Celestia being turned into her new lawn ornament. Just the thought made her unnaturally giddy.
“Hehehe. I think you know very well what I’ll do with this.” Screwball giggled, taking the weapon and sticking the entire thing under her hat.
To Screwy yes I am going to call you that, but that's beside the point we are magical all powerful beings that control your fate. since we can't directly interact with your world you well do our dirty work. I suggest you take out the element of magic first she is the most powerful of them. now go free discord he is so funny and I want him back.
“Ah yes. Sparkle-Butt. The most elusive and strongest one of the bunch…and the dullest. Besides ol’ Celly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bigger stick in the mud…how much are any of you willing to bet that she just might be some sort of failed clone of Sunbutt? The way I see it, nopony can naturally be that boring.” Screwball said, all the while chucking darts at a dartboard that just so happened to have Twilight’s face on it.
Wouldn't spreading chaos be a moot point? it only relese discord because the spell luna and celestia had on him weakened because of the elemetns changing hooves. not only that but the spell on him now is far more powerful than the one before, cause it even reversed his chaos at the same time, which even the regal sisters could not do.
Speaking of them, wouldn't doing anyhting at all to the mane six simply draw theri attention? they would come and beat you up.. or kill you if you actually hurt somepony.
“Okay first of all…Spelling. Learn to do it. Second, Celestia? Hurt ME? PFFFFHAHAHAHAHA!...Oh…you’re serious…Let me ask you this buddy, if Celestia is SOOO incredibly capable of hurting me and dad, then what was stopping her from taking us out BEFORE she got the dues ex-machina of plot devices, AKA the Elements of Harmony? In short terms, Celly can’t catch this!” Screwball said, pointing to her flank and laughing. Afterwards, she reached up, and swiped the box out of the air. She stuffed the entire thing into her mouth and started to chew it like bubblegum.
“Mmph. And third, I think I know a little more about the only-mmph- artifacts in Equestria that have the potential to stop me than you do, so quit being-mmphy-condescending and freaking let me do what I was made to do here.” She said with her mouth full. Screwball started to blow incredibly hard and a large, blue bubble started to form out of her mouth. Once it reached to about the size of a manticore, the bubble decided it couldn’t take it anymore and popped. When it did though, instead of making a natural “Pop” sound, it let out an extremely high pitched screech, which sounded similar to what a monkey in agonizing pain would sound like.
“…Oh I’m sorry. Did I bust your eardrums? I Didn’t mean to do that…much.” Screwball said, her swirled pupils looking from side to side with a smug grin on her mouth.
Hello there, Screwball.
Oh, who am I? Just one of the many voices in your head. I, and the rest of your fellow voices, are here to help you free your equally crazy dad. Or try to, at least, as long as Sunbutt doesn't catch on to us. But, we're getting off-topic.
The Elements will be a constant threat, along with little miss Dimlight's friendship lessons.
How do you plan to deal with that while also spreading sweet and lovely chaos?
If I may make one suggestion, perhaps you could convince the ponies of Cloudsdale that their weather factory has a dark little secret involving the creation of rainbows...
That would surely create some madness.
Good luck, you insane little filly, we're here in the back of your wonderfully twisted brain, ready to offer guidance when needed.
Until then,
"Alright other voices, who wants to play poker while we wait?"
(All of them.) "Me!"
Screwball :so screwball, what plans do you have for the mane 6?
Screwball turned her attention back to the town below her and got back into her thinking mood. Her instincts were screaming at her to bring down the hammer on Ponyville right then and there. Maybe finding some of the local animals and fusing them together into aggressive, horrendous-looking freaks of nature could be fun.
Who wouldn’t want to see a shark head on a bear’s body? That’d be awesome!
“Alas, I can’t go to those lengths just yet. If just ONE of those stupid mares catches wind of what I am, I’m screwed. I’ll need to corrupt the Element Bearers before I try ANYTHING. The question is, how do I go about it? Hmmmm…”
To Screwball: Why don't you try to do something chaotic against your own nature? If you act through subtlety and deception wouldn't you be being chaotic against your own nature, which is to do things in the most loudly chaotic way possible? What I mean is that if you subtly plan your way to the top wouldn't that be chaotic?
“Subtlety?...Acting chaotic against my own nature through deception…Yessss. Chaos isn’t just black and white. There’s a lot of different kinds of Chaos. Little chaos, big chaos, good ol’ mortal chaos… Seems like you’re asking that I perhaps trick convince some unwitting pony onto my side. Now…who would be the proper turkey hmmmmm?” Screwball said to herself. Reaching under her hat again, taking a telescope out from under it, putting it up to her face, and searching Ponyville for a somepony that would make a decent minion.
The first two ponies she spotted were two mares, one a unicorn with an electric blue mane and purple shades, and the other appeared to be a grey earth pony wearing a bow tie. From what Screwball observed, they appeared to be arguing over the other’s taste in music.
“And I’m telling you Vinyl! That uncelestialy mess of sound you call dubstep simply can’t compare to classical!”
“At least I can handle the tracks on my own and don’t need an entire orchestra of ponies backing me up for my music to sound good!”
“You take that back right now!”
“Why don’t you make me?!”
Both ponies in their rage lunged towards each other and started to repeatedly punch their opponent. Octavia had to resort to mane-pulling on quite a few occasions, and as it turns out, Vinyl was a biter. The struggle got to the point where the ponies were barely visible in the cloud of dust they had kicked up in their struggle.
Screwball’s grin grew ever wider at the sight of the disharmony between these two. Watching the entire thing unfold was pretty hilarious.
“Well, the Unicorn looks like she has the mindset of your average high school dropout, and the Earth Pony gets…eh…third place for the “Biggest stuck up your ass” award…meh. Next.” Screwball said, aiming her telescope in a different direction, this time seeing a grey pegasus mare with a blonde mane, and a cutie-mark of a flurry of bubbles. While said mare was mid-flight, a bird passed idly by her, prompting her to turn her head towards it.
“Oh, hello birdi-oof!” the Pegasus didn’t even see the lamp post that was almost right in front of her crossed eyes as she had slammed into it at full force. The impact of her body colliding with the lamp post was so powerful that it made the entire thing fall over and smash a vendor’s cart below.
“MY CABBAGES!!!” The vendor pony to whom the cart belonged screamed in agony.
“Oops. Sorry Mister!” the Pegasus mare apologized with a sheepish grin.
Screwball took her eyes off this pony for one moment to consider.
“Destructive and stupid. Quite a dangerous combination. And here I thought Ponyville WASN’T filled to the brim with Chaos. Celly sure has been slacking off on keeping her subjects in check.” Screwball said to herself.
Screwball, Have you think about get allies? I think three little fillies in Ponyville could help you to do a little chaos until your daddy is back, and there could be other beings out there that hate Princess Celestia, Your daddy was six versus one after all and that is unfair
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CLIFF JUMPERS!”
That certainly caught Screwball’s attention. She turned her telescope into the direction of the cheerful yelling and spotted a large lake with a humongous cliff sitting above it, where three fillies were standing at the top, wearing goggles on their foreheads as well as snorkels.
“We’re sure to get our Cutie Marks for this! It’s too awesome not to work!” The orange Pegasus of the group declared.
“Ah hope so. Cause, if Ah end up in the hospital and Ah STILL don’t have mah Cutie Mark, Ah’m totally blamin’ you Scoots.” Another one, an Earth Pony filly with a yellow coat, red mane, and a pink bow said back to the Pegasus.
“Then don’t get hurt.” Scootaloo said with a slight chuckle.
“Because that’s soooo easy in a stunt like this.” The white unicorn of the group said.
Scootaloo put her hoof to her face and sighed in an annoyed manner.
“Bloom. Belle. Relax. I’ve seen Rainbow Dash do this plenty of times. It’s perfectly safe” Scootaloo assured her friends.
Screwball took the telescope off her eyes and blinked once.
“…These three are PERFECT. Not only are they out of their minds, but they have ‘Gullible’ written all over their faces. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure those three are in relation to three of the Element Bearers. They just have that sort of…’look’ about them.” Screwball said to herself. She flipped her telescope into the air and in a flash of white light, it had changed into the shape of a small bird that had the wings of a bat and flew off into the skies of Ponyville.
“Alright. I’m getting those three on my side. Hehehehe. Let’s see how well this goes.” Screwball giggled as she kicked her cotton candy cloud with her hind hoof, causing it to propel forward into the direction of Ponyville’s lake to do some deceiving convincing.
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Screwball I have an idea what if you created a doppelgängers of yourself so you could spread chaos in not just ponyville but canterlot at the same time?
Hello CMC and Screwball pony. This message is brought to you by the blazing tactician currently known as the Hood.
But, to the point, Applebloom, Sweetie, Chicken- I mean Scootaloo, how about you make friends with this nice odd looking pony.
And as for you, Screwy, DONT HURT SCOOTALOO OR I SWEAR I'LL FIND A WAY INTO THAT WORLD AND [CENSORED] YOUR [CENSORED], you got that?
Hello from the voices in your head again,
Allies are always a good thing, Screwball; and these three fillies seem perfect.
They appear to be willing to do almost anything to get their cutie marks.
Perhaps you can use this to your advantage...?
*A blinking cursor appears in the air. It blinks for a few secnds before a line starts tracing a shape. It finishes in a very cartoonish door. The door opens and out steps a green scaled thing that looks pony-like. It stands up on its hooves/claws? and bows.*
"Greetings, Mistress of Chaos. I'm from the other side of the 4th wall."
*A white flash and there is a quill floating in the air as if held with a unicorn's magic.*
"I appologize for the door, I am not quite an artist, more of a writer. That is why I bring you the "Writer's Pen" or quill I guess here in Equestria. Why don't you just interact directly with the 4th wall?"
*The creature proceeded to scribble the word mustache on what looks like an invisible wall. He writes the words "on Screwball" and a large mustache appears on the daughter of chaos. He crosses the words out with a single line and the words disappear along with the mustache.
"Just use your imagination--" he smile wryly, "--and you have quite a talent with that."
He gestures rather boringly at the door. "Well I must be off, I can't stay here for long. You know that whole 4th wall paradox thing. One last suggestion: One of the Element Bearers can also tap into the 4th with similar chaotic ability. You might be able to use this connection to corrupt that pink bubbly pony to the side of full chaos. Fare thee we--" The cartoon door has transformed into a giant mouth, "I see you have already got the hang of the quill..."
*It licks its lips then gobbles up the 4th wall invader back to wence he came.*
Well, if you're going to get the CMC the question is, how? Are you going for the "I'm also a filly without a cutie mark and I think that this chaotic thing is a good idea" or the "I have the perfect way to get your cutie-mark". I personally think you should go the first option because you would have a thing you wouldn't have with the second. Their trust. If you go with my suggested option, than you should probably take a lot of time to build up their trust. I have seen too many similar plans ruined to know that that the infiltrator usually starts the plan too early, and gets found out because the didn't trust him/her enough.
I wonder..... there is a dragon in that town that gets treated like a punching bag. Little guy, purple and green, the only way sparklebutt has to talk to celestia.... I wonder how he would act discorded. *Wink wink*
(To the CMC) Watch out, somepony's about to drop in on you! She's nice, though!
4887683 be silent mortal . cmc: he's joking