Masks

by -Jules

Prologue

Manehattan. A city of sin. A city of hope, of depravity. A city of masks. Its jagged skyline rising far above the ocean to one side and the suburbs to the other like a predators jaw. A predator waiting for the innocent, for the good, for a feast. The beast waits behind its mask throughout the day, donning a different mask when the sun sinks beneath the horizon. But I have seen the face of the city, It is made up of thousands of other faces, faces of the streetwalkers, the addicts, the muggers, the two-bit gangsters, the monsters. I will make the City look upon my face, and I will make it fear me.

The wind screams in my ears, the traffic screams far below. I slowly open my eyes and look upon the city. From above the city is marvellous, the streets lit, the cars weaving, the ponies walking. I look down as the pavement far below rushes to meet me. I roll my shoulders, daring the city to make its move. At the last moment I panic and pull my leg back. Of course I do. The City does not fear me yet. I throw my foreleg out, hurling the heavy metal hook. I feel it crash onto the ledge of the high-rise across the street. And I feel the force of my fall as the rope pulls taut. The force of my fall pivots around the hook, swinging me through traffic at breakneck speeds. For a moment I squint into the bright lights of an automobile, grit my teeth at the stench of gasoline and the blaring horn. But I clear the car.

As I continue to rise, weightless, I crack the rope, releasing the hook from its perch. The line retracts into the small box on my shoulder, the curved metal harpoon pressed against the metal ring near my hoof. I'm nearing the peak, I can feel myself slowing, my sweatshirt flapping in the air. I glare down upon the city below, scouring the rooftops for the one I'd spotted moments before from the tower's ledge high above. I reach the peak of my flight, and for one fleeting moment nothing is moving. Not me, not the cars below, not my targets on the rooftop three blocks away, and not their victim, crouching and searching for an escape. And then I begin to fall. And they begin to move. My victims stepping closer. Their victim backing away.

I wrench my body through a backflip to face down once more. I swing my foreleg out again, launching the hook towards another ledge. I fall towards the street once more, the cord pulling on my shoulder. I swing towards the next roof, every leap bringing me closer to them.

Two more buildings and I'm flying up towards the lip of the roof.

"Trust me Silk, we didn't want it to come to this..." the largest of the three stallions is saying as he stalks forward.

The loud thud causes all of the ponies on the roof to freeze. Their victim, Silk, looks at my masked face with a mixture of terror and hope. His attackers all turn to me with looks of fury.

"Well, well, well." The lead stallion is speaking again as I weigh my options. "What have we got ourselves here boys?"

"Dunno boss," one of the others chimes in, "but those things on her legs look expensive."

"How'd she get up here anyways?" the third wonders. "Maybe she-" his theory is lost in a gurgle as my hoof connects with his throat. I whip my head towards the second stallion as he begins to move, only now realizing the shortcomings of using a ski mask to hide my identity as the black wool blocks the other two stallions from view. I crouch back to avoid his first punch and pounce forward while he is off balance. I land across his shoulder pressing his foreleg against him. Raising my forelegs to deliver a haymaker to the pony's spine I feel teeth clench around my tail. In a moment of panic I buck with both of my back legs, feeling one connect with a jaw. To my dismay the stallion does not release me. Grunting in pain and rage the muscular thug drags me back and off of his compatriot. He tosses me away and I land heavily several feet from the attackers.

"Well," the uninjured stallion begins, "she's fast."

The third stallion glares at me while massaging his throat, "I hadn't noticed," he spits sarcastically.

"She's undisciplined," The large stallion growls as he glances around the roof. Pushing myself to my hooves, I watch warily as the two smaller stallions stare back; but the first walks away to a rubbish pile. My eyes widen in fear as he turns back to me with a segment of metal pipe clenched in his bruised jaws.

Have to move faster, otherwise there won't be a third chance, I reprimand myself.

As the stallions once again begin to approach, I throw a glance at Silk. He's remained still, crouched in a corner shaking with fear throughout the whole fight. I absentmindedly wonder why these stallions cornered him on the roof while I crouch slightly in anticipation of the attack. The second stallion is the first to move, lurching forward and drawing his hoof up to deliver a punch. Seizing the chance, I dart forward and strike his foreleg just before it swings forward, bending his leg further back. He grimaces in pain and pulls his head back, revealing his chest for my second attack. As he leans forward, doubling over in pain, I strike down on the base of his neck and he drops to the ground gasping in agony. I look up to see the large stallion charging with the pipe still held tightly in his jaws. I jump backwards, away from the stallion on the ground, away from my attackers, and away from Silk, now watching in awe.

The stallion charges forward, barrelling across his floored comrade and turning his neck to one side in preparation for a ferocious swing.

You’re supposed to meet the girls in the morning, I think suddenly. What will they think if you show up with a broken neck?

I have no time to ponder the thought as the mountain of a pony is upon me. I see his eyes blazing with fury, as his head begins to move in a deadly arc. I do the only thing I can, and flatten myself to the floor as low as I can. I feel the wind from the pipe as it rushes past, inches above my spine. Without thinking I bolt up, slamming my head into the underside of his jaw, and carry through with all the force I can muster. I hear him shout in pain and surprise, and I hear the pipe clatter to the ground beside me. He staggers away but I don't follow him, instead flinging myself at the pipe, coming up with it now firmly grasped in my jaws. I swing as he charges again, striking his jaw for the third time. This time I feel it give way. He is tossed to the side and only three ponies remain standing on the roof.

The final stallion and I eye each other warily. I am tired, but he just watched me strike down his companions. Eventually he runs towards me as his partners had. I bolt forward, pulling my head to one side. I swing long before he is in range and see the confusion in his face for a fleeting moment before I open my mouth, and let the pipe sail into his legs. He goes down in a jumbled, bruised, and swearing pile.

I do not stop to savor my victory as my first assailant has begun to stand. I sprint toward Silk. "Run!" I shout. My voice jars him out of his paralyzed state. He begins to move away towards the edge of the building, and I notice for the first time he is favoring his right leg. They must have gotten to him before I arrived. I overtake him and throw a foreleg over his shoulders to guide him to the lip of the roof.

"Down!" I bark as I force him over the lip to the fire escape. We make it down three floors before I hear the first clangs above, signalling that the stallions had begun to follow. I fear they will catch us. Only one of them is limping, and he won’t slow the others down. My fear is multiplied tenfold when I hear a gunshot from above as the railing to our right sparks and clangs. Only one chance.

I turn to Silk and growl, "Grab onto my neck, and don't let go." He looks at me in confusion but does as I say. The second gunshot strikes the platform just above us, ricocheting past and into the night. I climb onto the railing and glance down at the city spread below, and for a moment I hear it laughing at my foolishness. I lean forward and we begin to fall.

Author's Note:

Thanks to the amazing Aurora-Borealis this chapter has been re-proofread and production on the rest of this story will be moving along once again.

Comments

[Cosmic Cowboy]

The beast waits behind it's mask throughout the day

*its

At the last moment I flinch out of harms way

I was confused. Does she actually flinch from an imaginary attack, or is the whole thing metaphorical? Might make more sense to say the city didn't acknowledge her instead. Just my thoughts.

"Trust me silk,

*Silk. Don't forget to capitalize it. Wait, Silk is a guy?

"Well, well, well," the largest stallion is speaking again as I weigh my options, "what have we got ourselves here boys?"

You're mixing up said tags here. Try this:

"Well, well, well." The stallion is speaking again as I weigh my options. "What have we got ourselves here, boys?"

Action tags are new sentences. Or you could use a regular said tag, I think it works just as well:

"Well, well, well," says the stallion who spoke before, as I weigh my options. "What have we got ourselves here, boys?"

I would point out that it's the largest one speaking the first time he speaks, which is why I left it out. But again, my thoughts.

"Dunno boss," one of the others chimes in, "but those things one her legs look expensive."

*on, not one, the second time. You're welcome.

"How'd she get up anyways?"

There's a gaping hole where a "here" should be. At least to my eyes. Up where? Up what?

lurching forward he draws his hoof up to deliver a punch. I dart forward seizing the chance,

'Lurching' and 'draws' don't really mesh tense-wise. Maybe 'lurching forward and drawing his hoof up'. And the next phrase could use a comma.

He grimaces in pain and pulls his head back, revealing his chest for a second attack. As he leans forward, instinctively doubling over in pain

Is it implied that she took that second attack, or am I just not following the action? Implying action doesn't usually work unless it's set up in something like a scene break. Maybe say "my second attack", that communicates an action more than just an opportunity. I think the 'instinctively' helped confuse me, too. If he's just been hit, it's not so much instinct as reflex that makes him double over, which doesn't really need to be pointed out. Thus: "leans forward, doubling over in pain".

preparation of a ferocious strike

Should be 'for'.

I'm supposed to go to breakfast with the girls in the morning, I think suddenly, What will they think if you show up with a broken neck?

This switched from first-person to talking directly to herself. Pick one or the other and remember to stick with it in the future. Also, those are two different sentences, so 'suddenly' should have a period, not a comma.

as it rushes past mere inches above my spine.

Something's not right here. Easiest fix is to stick a comma between 'past' and 'inches'.

The final stallion and I eye each other warily,

I would make this its own sentence. It already is, it just needs a period.

I bolt forwards

Should be 'forward'.

I sprint towards Silk, "Run!" I shout, my voice jars him out of his paralyzed state.

This could be split into three sentences.

They must have gotten to him before I arrived I think angrily.

Just like a verbal quote, this needs a comma to separate the quote from the tag.

I swing a foreleg over his shoulders as I over take him and guide him with me to the lip of the roof.

I would mix this up for flow reasons:

I overtake him and throw a foreleg over his shoulders to guide him to the lip of the roof.

I turn to silk and growl

Capitalize!

Good first chapter. You pulled off "undisciplined" action very well. Let's see if you have plot to back up that action.