Sparkling Field Research: RotE Episode 10

by Dream Volt

Twilight Sparkle, Alicorn of god annoyance

I flew past him, ignoring the hammer strike to my side. It should crush mountains, but obviously that didn't matter. The Tenn brothers had given up a while ago, but clearly Sweetsong and Blossomforth weren't ready to get near the god of thunder, even if they figured out he couldn't really hurt them here. I got the feeling they did, but wasn't sure. Sweetsong's eyes were slitted, due to the dark. It was still creepy, no matter how many times I saw it. Thor was resting on one of the numerous thunderclouds littering the sky. He looked a little tired but unfortunately I knew he could press on indefinitely. Even worse I was on a schedule. But worst of all eventually I would need to eat even if right now I sure looked like an alicorn.

"I will never give up." Thor yelled.

"You can't win. I told you, you can't beat me here."

"Yes, but clearly you can't beat me for all your supposedly unlimited power."

I barely resisted the urge to nod. I was in control but I couldn’t really kill him of course, and he was more stubborn than AJ and Dash combined. It was nearly impossible to get those two to do any thing they didn't want to do. The only one who could do it consistently was Pinkie. Then I got a really bad plan. I knew it was bad because it was entirely inspired by Pinkie. That was also why I was pretty sure it would work. In fact it really only makes sense when you think about it. I laughed.

"What?"

"Oh, just realized I've been going about this all wrong. You respect power, but you're also stubborn and used to pain. That was never going to work."

"Do your worst. I don't care how powerful you think you are I am Thor the god of…"

"Chickens."

Then his heavy armor was replaced with a chicken suit. He blinked, looked down, then glared back at me. He then drew his hammer and dashed at me. It made a funny squeaking sound as it hit me. Pinkie didn't really go into enough detail for me when I asked about the strange mallet she hit me with that one time, only that the toy had come from Neighpon. He then backpedaled in the air, legs flailing wildly.

"No, what have you done to her?"

"Your hammer? Does it really matter? The point is I have you at my mercy."

"You haven't beat me yet."

"Fine, lets make things a bit worse then."

He just blinked, ears twitching. I couldn't hear anything, but he could. Then his ears flattened and he began to frown. Soon he was covering his ears but of course that wouldn’t help. Then he looked down and noticed his favorite warriors the Tann brothers were now laughing at him. The almost braying laughter was rather disconcerting all by itself, but probably even worse when you realize it's directed at you. The goat brothers if anything looked bigger than the last time I saw them, their roughly forged armor seeming ready to burst off their frames at any moment.

"What is this demon in my ears. She wails on about baked goods and parties ceaselessly. She talks without breath and without end. What sort of phantasm…"

"It's Pinkie, and I don't even have to string everything she says together to make it worse. I was curious to see how long she could go if somepony doesn't force her to be quiet when she gets off on a tangent, but I gave up after three days."

"Make it stop. Her inane prattling is unbearable."

"Then give up. That simple."

"Never."

"I can probably think of worse outfits for you too. Maybe even some situation even worse than a silly outfit for that matter. I told you, here…"

He screamed. "Fine, curse you vile enchantress. I give up. You win."

Then my new wings, his outfit, and the Everfree itself all vanished. He looked around the white void around us, clearly confused.

"What?"

"You didn't really think the Everfree was some source of ultimate power did you?"

Thor blinked. "Then where are we?"

"My mind. It's your will against mine, with the added bonus of you not understanding the rules. I couldn’t lose."

"I'm still confused. I am no scholar but the mind…"

"This is pretty much my lucid dream you're stuck in. I could do anything I want, but you had to follow my rules."

He then laughed out loud. "So you really were all powerful because it wasn't even real. Well played Twilight Sparkle, well played."

"Uh, Sleipnir, we're done so…"

Then I woke up very suddenly in the throne room. It felt just like being woken by some loud noise, except I doubt there was one. Though who knows, maybe that is exactly how Sleipnir did it. I noticed the two goat brothers sneaking out of the room. Thor however was smiling and then suddenly hugged me. I could swear he crushed my spine, but I was still standing when he released me a moment later. Maybe I've built up a tolerance because of Pinkie?

"I understand now father. Always be careful when dealing with others, because sometimes there is no good choice."

"It's a bit more than just that, but I think you'll get it with time my boy." Sleipnir threw one hoof around Thor's neck. "Well all but one thing actually. Namely even if Twilight here had to fight you in the real world you would have lost."

"Really?" Thor and I echoed.

"Lady Sparkle you would have won by cleverness no matter what. If my son had chosen to simply wait you out…"

"I would have had to forfeit due to time."

Thor laughed. "I doubt I would have done that father. Maybe if she would have kept fighting, but even if she hadn't used some twisted version of Lockie's voice to torture me with inanities…"

"Who?" I said, but Thor kept talking as if he hadn't heard me

"…I would have still have given up if she simply made things boring enough."

"Wait a second, that almost sounds like Pinkie's name but…"

"IT'S TIME TO CELEBRATE."

This was echoed by everyone else in the hall, or at least I think it was. I'm fairly certain Sleipnir's shout nearly deafened me. I also felt sort of dizzy. Somepony caught me but I wasn't sure who. I don't think even Luna is that loud.

"So fair maidens." Said Thor "Do any of you wish to retire with me to the bedroom."

"But it's…" I began, then realized what it being in the middle of the day suggested, and how it was in fact, suggestive. "Really?"

He just smiled. It was oddly charming in a cocky sorta way. It reminded me of Rainbow in some ways, and Applejack in others. Sweetsong, looked him up and down, then let out a little "hmmm" as she stared at the ceiling.

"Song don't tell me…" Began Blossom

"Come on Blossom, he's a god. Sure I can brag I've already had one before, but more never hurts. Also he's a total hunk. So yea, why not."

Thor laughed. "Excellent, most mares of Equestira seem somewhat reluctant about this sort of thing. First we shall drink to your victory."

"So we're not going to your bedroom right away?" asked Sweetsong

"I mean in my bedroom. I always like to have a few casks close at hoof."

She smiled. "I like the way you think. This should be fun."

I couldn't think to say anything as they walked off together. I mean who does that sort of thing. In retrospect I realized I know Thor does that sort of thing and quite often, at least according to numerous stories.

"Seriously, who does that?"

"Yea, I know." Said Blossom "She's just so casual about it, like it means nothing. It just seems so ridiculous to me. Of course usually she's already far more drunk, but I always got the feeling that isn't why she's such a party girl." She shook her head. "Seriously, she's the type that gives musicians a bad rep."

"So she really plays that mandolin?"

"Beautifully, and her voice is amazing. The weird thing is it isn't a high energy out of control thing that's so common, but just an apathetic calmness regardless of everything."

"Even when drunk?"

"Especially when drunk. She claims she attains inner peace when drunk enough and I believe her, it's creepy." She then shuddered

"So ladies…" We both jumped as Sleipnir began to speak "Are you going to stay and enjoy yourselves or do you want to see your rooms like young Spike."

"He was looking for a place to nap, wasn't he?" I asked

Sleipnir just nodded.

"I'm not too social either, but at least one of us should stay with you Twilight."

"I think I could use a rest. I never actually told you what books but…"

"I gained much sacrificing my eye, and see a lot, but it was much easier to simply ask Spike for the list while the battle raged. Some are already in your room. Others are limited not just to Asgard's libraries, but my personal collection."

I blinked. "Oh, I'm sorry I thought…"

"I’m sure you'll return them safely. I assume you will want them shipped back to Equestria rather than taking them with you."

I nodded. "But…"

"Not until, because you want to read at least some of them as soon as possible?"

I blushed and nodded again.

"Of course. I will also arrange you to study the great tree. So how long do you plan to say with us exactly?"

"Well everything is on schedule so three days."

"That's all?"

"Yes, though I plan to return and study the tree more. With your permission of course."

"Stay four and I'll teleport you right to Mooscow."

I smiled. "Oh, thank you Lord Sleipnir. That will be very helpful."

"I'll talk to you in person about air magic at least once, even though you didn't think to ask for that."

"I did, I just thought it, a bit, presumptuous. I didn't want to bother you."

He shook his head. "Courteous to a fault as always. I will let you settle in, but remember tonight we will have a real feast. Please join us."

I waved. "I will. Farewell for now."

I then wandered off trying to figure out if this was just lunch how amazing a real feast of Asgard must be. I heard somepony fall into step beside me, but didn't bother to check if it was Blossomforth or not. I knew it would be.