Ponies and Palaces

by EricStarstorm

Chapter 1: Roll a Streetwise Check

Fluttershy was always an early riser. She didn't have the luxury of sleeping late--there were things to do, creatures to take care of. She always managed to get up before any of her friends. As such, she was up at the break of dawn, and she was currently tending to Angel's needs. He wanted breakfast to be ready when he came out of his tiny hut in the morning, and Fluttershy couldn't deny that face of his.

A bright flash in the sky caught Fluttershy's attention. She looked up, trying to see where the flash had occurred. The last remnants of the light faded away in the sky, just barely above the canopy of the Everfree Forest.

"Oh, goodness...what was that?" Fluttershy asked herself. When she predictably didn't get a response, she returned to her task. However, she was interrupted again as she heard something hitting the ground rather heavily.

"That can't be good...it sounded like a boulder or something. Maybe I should make sure that everything is okay..."

Fluttershy flapped her wings and rose above the treetops of the Everfree. She was never comfortable going into the forest, but the sun was rising, so she probably wouldn't run into any trouble. Besides, checking to see if that boulder did any damage was more important than her own welfare. With these facts in mind, she flew above the trees, looking for where the light had been.

---

Ragnar wasn't sure what to do. He had never seen anything like this place before, and the forest looked so labyrinthine that it seemed even the most experienced of Rangers could get lost in it. He knew that there would be things to eat in the forest, so he wasn't in any rush to find civilization, but he wasn't a very good hunter. He would either have to find some fruit to eat or find an exit that would lead him somewhere safe.

A rustling in the bushes caught his attention. He immediately stopped where he was and grabbed his battleaxe from its place on his back. He made sure to wield it two-handed for the +1 damage bonus, just like always.

The dwarf didn't have to wonder what had caused the rustling for long. Three pairs of glowing green eyes made themselves known, each one in a different position. They had surrounded him without him even knowing they were there.

"C'mon out, beasties," Ragnar said quietly. "I ain't afraid of ye."

As if in response, the owners of the glowing eyes emerged from the foliage. To Ragnar's utter confusion, they appeared to be wolves made of wood. As they emerged fully into the area, they slowly circled Ragnar, as if awaiting his next move.

"There mus' be an evil Druid in this forest somewhere," Ragnar said to himself. "Didn't know that this was a Druid spell."

The wolf that was currently behind Ragnar lunged forward, baring its fangs. He managed to sidestep the attack by a small margin, but the other wolves were headed for him as well. Unfortunately, they both managed to sink their teeth into the dwarf's arm. As soon as they had bitten down, they let him go, giving him an opening. He swung his battleaxe like a guillotine towards one of the wolves. It tried to escape the attack, but it never had the chance. The force of the blow split the wolf's head in half, and its body fell apart like a stack of cards. The other two wolves growled at him, but he wasn't to be intimidated. One of the wolves backed up as the other attacked again. Ragnar anticipated an attack to the arm and tried to block it, but the wolf surprised him by biting his leg instead. This time it stayed there, seemingly trying to tear part of his leg clean off. He clumsily swung his axe to stop it, hitting it on the torso and splitting it into two clean pieces. The final wolf only seemed angrier at this development. As Ragnar plucked the splinters from his leg with one hand, he kept an eye on the wolf so that he could retake his stance at a moment's notice.

"Hello?" a soft voice called. Ragnar was surprised he had heard it at all--it was so quiet that it barely even reached his ears, and he was focused on the fight. Still, he didn't let himself get distracted.

The dwarf made the first move against the wolf this time, charging forward and swinging his axe in a deadly crescent shape. The force of the blow lifted the wolf into the air even as it was cut into pieces. As the wolf fell apart, Ragnar put the axe on his back again. He wasn't sure if he got experience points per monster or per quest, but either way, he was proud of his performance.

Suddenly, he heard that small voice again. This time it was much closer, and it simply gasped. He turned around, expecting a little girl or a shy maiden.

What he got was the smallest Pegasus he had ever seen.

A long moment of silence followed. Both parties were trying to process whether they were actually seeing what they were seeing. Ragnar thought he saw a tiny yellow Pegasus with comically oversized eyes, a flowing pink mane befitting of a woman of the elite class, and a flank insignia depicting three butterflies. Fluttershy thought she saw a stout creature matching Twilight's description of humans, but with a massive red beard, heavy leather armor, and a huge axe. Both of them thought right.

"Are you...a human?" Fluttershy asked.

Ragnar stayed silent for a moment. As he put two and two together and realized that the small voice belonged to the Pegasus, his surprise only multiplied. He had read that one could tame a Pegasus by making a successful Diplomacy check, so he gave it a shot.

He got a natural 1.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOUNT!"

The Pegasus immediately recoiled, her irises shrinking to the size of pinpricks. She turned and ran away, heading deeper into the forest. Or was she running out of the forest? Ragnar had no way to tell.

After brushing off his failure and thinking for a moment, Ragnar decided to attempt to track the Pegasus. Her hooves had been much larger than normal, so she was bound to make large footprints. Maybe he would find something if he followed the prints. His Perception score wasn't the best, but it was at least worth a shot.

Three hours and several Orwellian horrors later, Ragnar finally managed to successfully follow the tracks. As it turned out, they lead straight out of the forest. Ragnar's first reaction to his new surroundings was surprise at how vivid everything looked. The sky, the buildings in the distance, and even the grass was saturated beyond belief with color. He wasn't about to let it deter him, despite how much the sharp contrast from the dark and gloomy forest hurt his eyes. His first instinct was to head towards town, and he was prone to following his instincts. What struck him as odd, however, was that he didn't see the Pegasus anywhere. Had she run into town? That didn't seem like Pegasus behavior at all.

"Thor preserve me," Ragnar said to himself. He started doing the only thing he could at this point--walk towards the town.

---

Rainbow Dash wasn't happy. She had been having a wonderful dream about flying through the sky when Fluttershy flew into her window. She asked what was wrong, but Fluttershy was so shaken up that she couldn't speak clearly. So Rainbow was sitting in her bed, half covered by her blanket and impatiently waiting for her to calm down enough to tell her what was going on. Fortunately for her, she didn't have to wait for much longer.

"I...just came back from the forest," Fluttershy began.

Fluttershy's voice made Rainbow focus. She had begun to space out, but now she was in the moment again. "Okay. So something spooked you?"

"W-well, yes, but...it wasn't normal."

"Is ANYTHING in that forest normal?"

"It wasn't normal even by the forest's standards!"

"Hmm...okay, this might be serious." Rainbow climbed out of bed and brushed the bed-mane out of her eyes. "Why were you in the forest, anyway?"

"Something heavy fell from the sky...I wanted to make sure everything was okay. That's never happened before...since I moved here, at least."

"Something...heavy? What was it?"

"I'm not sure, but...I think it was a human..."

Rainbow was silent. She and Fluttershy both knew that humans didn't exist in Equestria. Only one Equestria native had seen humans and returned to tell about them, and that was Twilight. "Fluttershy...are you sure you weren't just seeing things?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Fluttershy's voice was frantic all of a sudden as she looked at Rainbow with some mixture of fear and anger. "He was shorter and more stocky than Twilight's description, but I saw him clear as day! I didn't see it myself, but it looked like he had fought a pack of timberwolves!"

"Whoa, whoa! Calm down! I'm sorry I said that." Rainbow thought for a moment. "So what about him scared you?"

"Well, I tried to talk to him...he just yelled 'mount' at the top of his lungs. It was...horrifying."

"Man, this guy must have one powerful voice. All right, c'mon."

"Where are we going?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Rainbow started stretching her legs. "We've gotta find this guy and see what he wants."

Fluttershy froze up for a second. "Umm...can I just stay here? Y-you're a lot faster than I am, I'll just slow you down..."

"Look, maybe he's not such a bad guy!" Rainbow spread her wings and started stretching those as well. "I mean, I dunno who in their right mind would just yell the word 'mount' towards somepony, but hey, we can probably take him if things turn south."

"I'm not so sure about that..."

"Just come on already."

Rainbow flew out the window, leaving Fluttershy alone. She let out a defeated sigh before following suit.

---

Ragnar had almost made it to the town after only a few minutes of walking. He could much more easily see that the homes were mostly thatched roof cottages. He assumed that businesses would be a similar case, but he couldn't see any.

"I really wish I had a map," Ragnar muttered. "But I s'pose it's my own fault fer not learnin' how ta draw one."

Just as Ragnar was about to step into the town's boundaries, he heard the sound of rushing wind above him. He looked up, but didn't see anything. A second later, he heard something hit the ground behind him. He turned around to see another Pegasus. This one was sky blue with differently-shaped but equally-sized eyes, and its mane was short, messy, and colored like a rainbow. The insignia on its flank depicted a small cloud letting loose a multi-colored lightning bolt. It didn't look happy.

"Hold it right there," the Pegasus said. Unlike the yellow Pegasus, this one's voice was brash and tomboyish, but Ragnar could tell it was female. "Who are you?"

Ragnar decided to hold off on the Diplomacy check. He didn't want to scare this one. "I'm Ragnar Hallowshield, paladin of Elwood. And ye?"

The Pegasus seemed almost surprised at the dwarf's cordial attitude, but she didn't let it show for long. "Rainbow Dash. So what're you doing here?"

Just as Rainbow Dash finished speaking, the yellow Pegasus from before landed beside her, breathing heavily. As soon as her hooves touched the ground, she collapsed. "I...told you...I couldn't...fly...as fast..."

"Sorry, Fluttershy, but this is a serious situation. Couldn't afford to wait up." Rainbow Dash turned towards Ragnar again, waiting for him to respond.

"Ta be honest, I'm not sure how I got 'ere," Ragnar said. "There was this trapped door, and when I bashed it open, it brought me 'ere. I dinnae know how or why."

"Hmm...seems a bit unlikely, but I'll play along for now. Why did you scare Fluttershy here?"

"I assure ye, it wasn't intentional. See, I was makin' a Diplomacy check ta try and tame 'er."

Silence followed. Both of the Pegasi gave Ragnar looks of confusion and slight disgust. It lasted for a good thirty seconds before Rainbow Dash spoke again. "You were trying to what now?"

"Tame 'er," Ragnar repeated. "Then I'd be able ta ride her with some trainin'."

Fluttershy looked horrified. It seemed like she'd run away at the slightest provocation. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, got an absolutely livid look on her face. "You were going to MATE with her?!"

Ragnar recoiled. "What?! No! I--"

"All right, that's it! We're taking you to see Twilight. She'll know what to do with you." Rainbow got behind Ragnar and started pushing. "Start walking! Fluttershy, get in front of him and lead him towards the library."

---

As Ragnar was lead through town, he was fascinated by what he saw. He had expected to find humans, elves, and dwarves, but he found nothing of the sort. Everywhere he turned, he saw more small horses. Some were Pegasi, some were unicorns, and some were just normal horses, but all of them had styled manes, vibrant coat and eye colors, and emblems on their flanks. If Ragnar didn't know any better, he'd say that the horses were the ones that ran the society. Some of the horses gave him odd looks as he passed by, but they had more important things to worry about than an unfamiliar face. Apparently.

It wasn't long before the two Pegasi had lead Ragnar to a huge tree near the center of town. There must have been a lot of Druids in this town, because the tree had been hollowed out and converted to a building. Ragnar didn't know any Wizards or Clerics that could do that, and it was rather impressive.

"What're you waiting for, Fluttershy?" Rainbow asked. "Knock on the door."

Fluttershy sighed and did just that. After a few seconds, the door opened. When Ragnar saw what had done that, he froze. He immediately realized that this town could be in grave danger if he didn't act. He suddenly grabbed his battleaxe and hefted it into the air. "DRAAAAAAGOOOON!"

The short, purple dragon nearly jumped out of his scales. Ragnar swung his axe at him before either of the Pegasi could stop him, but he easily scrambled out of the dwarf's warpath. The blow left a sizable dent in the floor of the tree, and Ragnar's axe was stuck in it. Before he could pull it out, Rainbow Dash flew up behind him and bucked him in the back, causing him to fall forward.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Rainbow demanded. "First you want to mate with Fluttershy, then you try to KILL SPIKE?!"

Ragnar recovered quickly. "Yer town is in danger! That dragon's gonna grow to a monstrous size, and then I won't be able ta deal with it! We gotta kill it while it's young!"

"That dragon is our FRIEND, you IDIOT!"

"What in the world is going on out here?" asked an unfamiliar voice. Ragnar looked towards the source of the voice to find another small horse. This one was lavender with a dark blue mane that was cut into very orderly bangs and had a single pink stripe in it. The insignia on her flank depicted a six-pointed star with smaller white stars surrounding it. The strange thing about her, though, was that she had both the wings of a Pegasus and the horn of a unicorn. She was also a bit taller than Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

"Twilight!" Rainbow exclaimed. "We've gotta do something about this guy! He's gonna cause more chaos than Discord if we don't rein him in somehow!"

"Let's all just calm down for a minute," said the one known only as Twilight. She did what Ragnar could only assume was a breathing exercise in order to steady herself. "Why don't you all come in, and we'll work this out like adults?"

"After he tried to kill Spike?!"

"I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation." Twilight's horn started glowing with purple light. Ragnar watched in awe as the same purple light surrounded his axe and lifted it from the ground, then put it somewhere within the tree that he couldn't see. "I'm going to have to hold on to your axe until further notice."

Ragnar's awe was replaced with anger. "Ye cannae take me axe away! It's an heirloom!"

"You'll get it back if you cooperate. Now come inside. And don't even think about attacking Spike again."

Ragnar was still angry, but he decided he would have to behave. If it turned out that these horses actually were the dominant species in this place, he decided it was best to stay on their good side. He stood up and used a healing surge to bring himself to full HP again, then entered the tree house. Rainbow and Twilight followed.

The dragon looked horrified as soon as he saw Ragnar. "Y-you let him in?!"

"He's not going to hurt you, Spike," Twilight assured him. "This must be some kind of misunderstanding. We don't know what things are like wherever he's from, y'know?"

Ragnar was a bit confused. Not only did the name "Spike" seem far too simple for a dragon, but the owner of that name seemed almost timid. Any normal dragon would have dodged his strike and fried him with its flame breath (or whatever other breath weapon it had), but Spike had run away. It did make some sense to him--Spike was obviously very young--but even baby dragons were vicious as far as he knew.

"I guess you're right, but..." Spike rubbed his knuckles together nervously. How had Ragnar not noticed that he was bipedal up until now?

"Don't worry about it. Can you make some tea? Once you do that, you can just wait upstairs if you want."

Spike nodded. With a nervous look on his face, he walked into another room.

Ragnar realized that he had failed a Perception check, because only just then did he realize that he wasn't in a house. He was in a library. There were bookshelves lining the walls, and each one was so full that not even one more book would fit. There was even a rolling shelf with more books on it near the wall and a rolling ladder for reaching high shelves. At the same time, however, there was obviously a kitchen. Did Twilight and Spike live here?

"Everypony take a seat," Twilight said. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash did just that, and Ragnar did after them. "We have a lot to talk about."

Comments

[phallus of malice]

I feel so clean after reading this. With no hinted romance, this story has transcended the norm into another class of its own. It shall be called, The Upper Class.

SATISFACTION
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/591/928/94f.png