When someone's Dungeons and Dragons character gets caught up in some crazy spell or whatever, they're whisked away to a place that you can probably guess.
Ragnar Hallowshield is a Dwarven paladin that loves to explore, go on adventures, and kick the crap out of stuff. He's also some guy's Dungeons and Dragons character. The player is your average D&D player--doesn't care about the storyline, focuses on nothing but treasure and combat, the works.
But things get strange for Ragnar when he falls into a magical trap. He's whisked away to parts unknown, and rather than try to get him to rejoin the party, the player just decides to make a new character. Ragnar's only level 1, after all, so it wasn't exactly a big loss.
Ragnar is far from lost, however. He's ended up in a strange, colorful land...full of nothing but mounts.
NOTE: This story isn't going to take itself too seriously, and the update schedule is probably going to be very sporadic. The main reason I'm writing it at all is because I have a lot of light-hearted, slice of life ideas floating around in my brain, and I'd like to get them down on paper somewhere. The time frame is after the Season 4 finale, but the library is still around, warranting the AU tag. Keep all of this in mind if you plan on following.
ANOTHER NOTE: I don't know why I didn't mention this before, but every battle scene in this story is decided by actual dice rolls! The outcome of the fights is just as much of a mystery to you as it is to me. Hopefully this adds a new kind of excitement, both for you as you read and me as I write. Please enjoy!
It was a bright, lovely spring morning. The sun was just peeking over the treetops in the distance, and the sky was a cross between murky grey and bright, vivid blue. It was the perfect morning to go outside and just absorb the beauty of the landscape, the trees, the air itself.
Or, as Tom saw it, it was the perfect morning to play some Dungeons and Dragons with his buddies.
He wasted no time in joining the group call over Skype. He'd been working on his character since after dinner last night, and he had finished at around midnight. A lot of work had gone into it, but some of the time was spent wasting time in distraction, browsing his favorite forums and catching up on his favorite web comics. Despite all of the discouraging factors, however, he had managed to get it done, and he couldn't have been more excited to get the first session started.
"Morning," Lisa said. "You're certainly up early. You ready for the session?"
"Are you kidding? I've never been so ready for anything in my life!"
Silence.
"Tom? You there?" Billy asked.
"...Yeah, I said I was ready for the--"
"Toooo-ooooom!" Alex called. "Where are you goiiiiiing?"
"I'm right here, you..."
Tom caught himself as a red box appeared on his screen. It was a box that he was very familiar with. It was by far his worst enemy. It spelled doom whenever he saw it, and that was all too often.
There was a problem with the call.
"I hate my life."
"Okay," Alex said. "As you enter the next room, you see a tall man in heavy robes. No part of his body is visible--even his face is covered by the shadows of his hood. He towers over you, but does not look down towards you...but you can somehow still tell that he has acknowledged your presence."
"This better not be some kind of edgy anti-hero," Lisa muttered. "Let me guess. Are his robes black and red?"
"...Not anymore!"
"You suck."
"I ask him what he's doing here," Tom interjected.
"All righty," Alex replied. "The man does not reply. In fact, he doesn't move at all. It looks like it'll take more than that to get a response out of him."
"Hmm...Billy, isn't your character trained in Diplomacy?" Lisa asked.
"Yeah, but we're not trying to convince him of anything," Billy replied. "Besides, you have a higher Charisma, don't you, Tom?"
"No...I put my 18 in Strength because you wanted to play a Sorcerer," Tom said.
"Oh...well, okay, but I swear, this guy is rolling Intimidate checks just by existing. I ask him if he wants anything."
"The tall man looks towards you," Alex said. "He does not say anything, but it's a response. Roll a Charisma check."
The call was silent for a few seconds as Billy used his online dice roller to generate a result. "17," he said.
"Okay...that'll work." Alex cleared his throat and started speaking in a deeper voice than normal. "'I desire something that exists within this dungeon.'"
"I ask him what it is."
"'It is a rare variety of alchemical herb known as Shiverthorn. It has properties akin to those of ice and snow, and are very useful for creating potions of fire resistance. Perhaps...if you helped me find this herb, I could share one such potion with you.'"
"Fetch quests, huh? How original," Lisa said sarcastically. "Next thing you know, we'll run into a little girl with the MacGuffin Pendant."
"Look, there's a reason these things are cliche, all right?" Alex replied indignantly. "Anyway...the man awaits your response."
"Of course we'll do it. If this campaign keeps travelling down this path, we're going to end up in a volcano sooner or later anyway."
"I tell him that, in those words," Billy said, holding back laughter.
Tom could hear the sound of Alex slapping himself on the forehead. "'Your choice of words belies a lack of intelligence, but I thank you for your assistance.'"
"I know where you live," Lisa said in a low voice.
"Hey, I'm not mad," Billy chimed in. "I only have 11 Intelligence. It's not like my character's winning any prizes."
"Wait, you only have 11 Intelligence?" Tom asked. "You were supposed to have your second-highest roll go to that so you'd have a good Arcana score!"
"...Five is good," Billy said sheepishly.
"Ahem." Alex did not sound pleased. "Can we please focus? We can worry about Billy being terrible at character creation later."
Tom rolled his eyes. "Fine. Where's the next room?"
"To your left."
"I check the door for traps," Lisa said abruptly. "24 for Thievery."
"You can tell there's a trap on the door, but you don't know what will trigger it or what it will do. It appears magical in nature."
"That's all I can get with a 24?"
"The trap is very difficult to detect. If you'd gotten anything lower, you probably wouldn't have found anything at all."
"All right, whatever. Can I disarm it?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Tom said. "If you try to disarm that trap and it blows up in your face, who knows what it'll do? With a trap that hard to find, it probably has some crazy-broken effect."
"So what, you want to just spring it?"
"Hey, I have thirteen healing surges and 31 HP! I'm the best one in this party for taking hits."
"So you open the door, then?" Alex asked.
"Oh, no. I have something much better in mind." Tom liked to think that the others could tell that he was smirking. "I Bull Rush the door."
There was a moment of silence.
"You just wanted to break a door down, didn't you?" Lisa asked.
"Ohh, yes."
"All right, I'll allow it," Alex said. "Roll to hit."
"Against a door?"
"Just do it."
"Doors don't have Fortitude scores, last time I--"
"Tom!"
"All right, all right." Tom rolled a d20 on his random number generator. "17."
"The door swings open, but you spring the trap. A huge light tries to consume you. Roll Acrobatics."
Tom rolled again. As he got his result, he stared at it for a moment.
"Tom?"
"...I got...0."
"...Well, at least it wasn't a critical failure. The light consumes Ragnar, and he disappears."
"Wait, WHAT?" Billy yelled. "Did it just EAT him?!"
"No, of course not! The door was trapped with a Plane Shift rune. Ragnar is trapped in an alternate plane until--"
"THIS IS THE FIRST DUNGEON!"
"Yes, but the coordinates lead to a dimension that it's very easy to escape from!"
"Oh, thank GOD!" Tom said suddenly. "I didn't even want to play a paladin. The only reason I did was because I lost a bet."
"Wait, what're you saying?" Lisa asked. "Don't even think about making another Striker! We need a healer!"
"Would you relax? I'm making a Bard."
"Hold on a minute!" Alex asked. "You can bring Ragnar back easily! There's--"
"Nope! You guys keep doing the dungeon, and my new Bard will meet up with you later."
"But what about Ragnar?"
"I played as a paladin, so I fulfilled my end of the bargain. Ragnar's on his own."
"You're the worst DM EVER!" Lisa yelled. "A Plane Shift rune?! Seriously?!"
Tom didn't hear the rest of the ensuing argument. He left the call and immediately started work on his new character sheet.
As soon as Ragnar's vision cleared, he realized that he was no longer in the musty dungeon. The mysterious stranger, his childhood friend Lance Eridani, and the hired mercenary Theresa Stromwind were nowhere to be seen. Gone was the dismantled door and the long hallway that stood behind it, gone were the shoddy columns and the ancient sandstone.
Instead, there was nothing but wide open sky. It wasn't long before Ragnar started falling.
The fall didn't last long, thankfully--it was only around thirty feet or so, and although he had the HP to survive any fall of that height, he only took eleven damage. As he recovered from having been knocked prone and used a healing surge, he looked around. He had landed in some kind of dark forest. The canopy blocked out much of the sunlight, and everything looked rather gloomy. The trees were gnarled and rough to the touch, and some had no leaves. Through the gaps in the trees, Ragnar saw a grove of oddly saturated blue flowers, but the gaps were too small for him to squeeze through even if he wanted to. He looked around, but saw no way out no matter which way he turned.
"Well," he said to himself. "This be some Beholder's dung."
Fluttershy was always an early riser. She didn't have the luxury of sleeping late--there were things to do, creatures to take care of. She always managed to get up before any of her friends. As such, she was up at the break of dawn, and she was currently tending to Angel's needs. He wanted breakfast to be ready when he came out of his tiny hut in the morning, and Fluttershy couldn't deny that face of his.
A bright flash in the sky caught Fluttershy's attention. She looked up, trying to see where the flash had occurred. The last remnants of the light faded away in the sky, just barely above the canopy of the Everfree Forest.
"Oh, goodness...what was that?" Fluttershy asked herself. When she predictably didn't get a response, she returned to her task. However, she was interrupted again as she heard something hitting the ground rather heavily.
"That can't be good...it sounded like a boulder or something. Maybe I should make sure that everything is okay..."
Fluttershy flapped her wings and rose above the treetops of the Everfree. She was never comfortable going into the forest, but the sun was rising, so she probably wouldn't run into any trouble. Besides, checking to see if that boulder did any damage was more important than her own welfare. With these facts in mind, she flew above the trees, looking for where the light had been.
Ragnar wasn't sure what to do. He had never seen anything like this place before, and the forest looked so labyrinthine that it seemed even the most experienced of Rangers could get lost in it. He knew that there would be things to eat in the forest, so he wasn't in any rush to find civilization, but he wasn't a very good hunter. He would either have to find some fruit to eat or find an exit that would lead him somewhere safe.
A rustling in the bushes caught his attention. He immediately stopped where he was and grabbed his battleaxe from its place on his back. He made sure to wield it two-handed for the +1 damage bonus, just like always.
The dwarf didn't have to wonder what had caused the rustling for long. Three pairs of glowing green eyes made themselves known, each one in a different position. They had surrounded him without him even knowing they were there.
"C'mon out, beasties," Ragnar said quietly. "I ain't afraid of ye."
As if in response, the owners of the glowing eyes emerged from the foliage. To Ragnar's utter confusion, they appeared to be wolves made of wood. As they emerged fully into the area, they slowly circled Ragnar, as if awaiting his next move.
"There mus' be an evil Druid in this forest somewhere," Ragnar said to himself. "Didn't know that this was a Druid spell."
The wolf that was currently behind Ragnar lunged forward, baring its fangs. He managed to sidestep the attack by a small margin, but the other wolves were headed for him as well. Unfortunately, they both managed to sink their teeth into the dwarf's arm. As soon as they had bitten down, they let him go, giving him an opening. He swung his battleaxe like a guillotine towards one of the wolves. It tried to escape the attack, but it never had the chance. The force of the blow split the wolf's head in half, and its body fell apart like a stack of cards. The other two wolves growled at him, but he wasn't to be intimidated. One of the wolves backed up as the other attacked again. Ragnar anticipated an attack to the arm and tried to block it, but the wolf surprised him by biting his leg instead. This time it stayed there, seemingly trying to tear part of his leg clean off. He clumsily swung his axe to stop it, hitting it on the torso and splitting it into two clean pieces. The final wolf only seemed angrier at this development. As Ragnar plucked the splinters from his leg with one hand, he kept an eye on the wolf so that he could retake his stance at a moment's notice.
"Hello?" a soft voice called. Ragnar was surprised he had heard it at all--it was so quiet that it barely even reached his ears, and he was focused on the fight. Still, he didn't let himself get distracted.
The dwarf made the first move against the wolf this time, charging forward and swinging his axe in a deadly crescent shape. The force of the blow lifted the wolf into the air even as it was cut into pieces. As the wolf fell apart, Ragnar put the axe on his back again. He wasn't sure if he got experience points per monster or per quest, but either way, he was proud of his performance.
Suddenly, he heard that small voice again. This time it was much closer, and it simply gasped. He turned around, expecting a little girl or a shy maiden.
What he got was the smallest Pegasus he had ever seen.
A long moment of silence followed. Both parties were trying to process whether they were actually seeing what they were seeing. Ragnar thought he saw a tiny yellow Pegasus with comically oversized eyes, a flowing pink mane befitting of a woman of the elite class, and a flank insignia depicting three butterflies. Fluttershy thought she saw a stout creature matching Twilight's description of humans, but with a massive red beard, heavy leather armor, and a huge axe. Both of them thought right.
"Are you...a human?" Fluttershy asked.
Ragnar stayed silent for a moment. As he put two and two together and realized that the small voice belonged to the Pegasus, his surprise only multiplied. He had read that one could tame a Pegasus by making a successful Diplomacy check, so he gave it a shot.
He got a natural 1.
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOUNT!"
The Pegasus immediately recoiled, her irises shrinking to the size of pinpricks. She turned and ran away, heading deeper into the forest. Or was she running out of the forest? Ragnar had no way to tell.
After brushing off his failure and thinking for a moment, Ragnar decided to attempt to track the Pegasus. Her hooves had been much larger than normal, so she was bound to make large footprints. Maybe he would find something if he followed the prints. His Perception score wasn't the best, but it was at least worth a shot.
Three hours and several Orwellian horrors later, Ragnar finally managed to successfully follow the tracks. As it turned out, they lead straight out of the forest. Ragnar's first reaction to his new surroundings was surprise at how vivid everything looked. The sky, the buildings in the distance, and even the grass was saturated beyond belief with color. He wasn't about to let it deter him, despite how much the sharp contrast from the dark and gloomy forest hurt his eyes. His first instinct was to head towards town, and he was prone to following his instincts. What struck him as odd, however, was that he didn't see the Pegasus anywhere. Had she run into town? That didn't seem like Pegasus behavior at all.
"Thor preserve me," Ragnar said to himself. He started doing the only thing he could at this point--walk towards the town.
Rainbow Dash wasn't happy. She had been having a wonderful dream about flying through the sky when Fluttershy flew into her window. She asked what was wrong, but Fluttershy was so shaken up that she couldn't speak clearly. So Rainbow was sitting in her bed, half covered by her blanket and impatiently waiting for her to calm down enough to tell her what was going on. Fortunately for her, she didn't have to wait for much longer.
"I...just came back from the forest," Fluttershy began.
Fluttershy's voice made Rainbow focus. She had begun to space out, but now she was in the moment again. "Okay. So something spooked you?"
"W-well, yes, but...it wasn't normal."
"Is ANYTHING in that forest normal?"
"It wasn't normal even by the forest's standards!"
"Hmm...okay, this might be serious." Rainbow climbed out of bed and brushed the bed-mane out of her eyes. "Why were you in the forest, anyway?"
"Something heavy fell from the sky...I wanted to make sure everything was okay. That's never happened before...since I moved here, at least."
"Something...heavy? What was it?"
"I'm not sure, but...I think it was a human..."
Rainbow was silent. She and Fluttershy both knew that humans didn't exist in Equestria. Only one Equestria native had seen humans and returned to tell about them, and that was Twilight. "Fluttershy...are you sure you weren't just seeing things?"
"Of course I'm sure!" Fluttershy's voice was frantic all of a sudden as she looked at Rainbow with some mixture of fear and anger. "He was shorter and more stocky than Twilight's description, but I saw him clear as day! I didn't see it myself, but it looked like he had fought a pack of timberwolves!"
"Whoa, whoa! Calm down! I'm sorry I said that." Rainbow thought for a moment. "So what about him scared you?"
"Well, I tried to talk to him...he just yelled 'mount' at the top of his lungs. It was...horrifying."
"Man, this guy must have one powerful voice. All right, c'mon."
"Where are we going?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Rainbow started stretching her legs. "We've gotta find this guy and see what he wants."
Fluttershy froze up for a second. "Umm...can I just stay here? Y-you're a lot faster than I am, I'll just slow you down..."
"Look, maybe he's not such a bad guy!" Rainbow spread her wings and started stretching those as well. "I mean, I dunno who in their right mind would just yell the word 'mount' towards somepony, but hey, we can probably take him if things turn south."
"I'm not so sure about that..."
"Just come on already."
Rainbow flew out the window, leaving Fluttershy alone. She let out a defeated sigh before following suit.
Ragnar had almost made it to the town after only a few minutes of walking. He could much more easily see that the homes were mostly thatched roof cottages. He assumed that businesses would be a similar case, but he couldn't see any.
"I really wish I had a map," Ragnar muttered. "But I s'pose it's my own fault fer not learnin' how ta draw one."
Just as Ragnar was about to step into the town's boundaries, he heard the sound of rushing wind above him. He looked up, but didn't see anything. A second later, he heard something hit the ground behind him. He turned around to see another Pegasus. This one was sky blue with differently-shaped but equally-sized eyes, and its mane was short, messy, and colored like a rainbow. The insignia on its flank depicted a small cloud letting loose a multi-colored lightning bolt. It didn't look happy.
"Hold it right there," the Pegasus said. Unlike the yellow Pegasus, this one's voice was brash and tomboyish, but Ragnar could tell it was female. "Who are you?"
Ragnar decided to hold off on the Diplomacy check. He didn't want to scare this one. "I'm Ragnar Hallowshield, paladin of Elwood. And ye?"
The Pegasus seemed almost surprised at the dwarf's cordial attitude, but she didn't let it show for long. "Rainbow Dash. So what're you doing here?"
Just as Rainbow Dash finished speaking, the yellow Pegasus from before landed beside her, breathing heavily. As soon as her hooves touched the ground, she collapsed. "I...told you...I couldn't...fly...as fast..."
"Sorry, Fluttershy, but this is a serious situation. Couldn't afford to wait up." Rainbow Dash turned towards Ragnar again, waiting for him to respond.
"Ta be honest, I'm not sure how I got 'ere," Ragnar said. "There was this trapped door, and when I bashed it open, it brought me 'ere. I dinnae know how or why."
"Hmm...seems a bit unlikely, but I'll play along for now. Why did you scare Fluttershy here?"
"I assure ye, it wasn't intentional. See, I was makin' a Diplomacy check ta try and tame 'er."
Silence followed. Both of the Pegasi gave Ragnar looks of confusion and slight disgust. It lasted for a good thirty seconds before Rainbow Dash spoke again. "You were trying to what now?"
"Tame 'er," Ragnar repeated. "Then I'd be able ta ride her with some trainin'."
Fluttershy looked horrified. It seemed like she'd run away at the slightest provocation. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, got an absolutely livid look on her face. "You were going to MATE with her?!"
Ragnar recoiled. "What?! No! I--"
"All right, that's it! We're taking you to see Twilight. She'll know what to do with you." Rainbow got behind Ragnar and started pushing. "Start walking! Fluttershy, get in front of him and lead him towards the library."
As Ragnar was lead through town, he was fascinated by what he saw. He had expected to find humans, elves, and dwarves, but he found nothing of the sort. Everywhere he turned, he saw more small horses. Some were Pegasi, some were unicorns, and some were just normal horses, but all of them had styled manes, vibrant coat and eye colors, and emblems on their flanks. If Ragnar didn't know any better, he'd say that the horses were the ones that ran the society. Some of the horses gave him odd looks as he passed by, but they had more important things to worry about than an unfamiliar face. Apparently.
It wasn't long before the two Pegasi had lead Ragnar to a huge tree near the center of town. There must have been a lot of Druids in this town, because the tree had been hollowed out and converted to a building. Ragnar didn't know any Wizards or Clerics that could do that, and it was rather impressive.
"What're you waiting for, Fluttershy?" Rainbow asked. "Knock on the door."
Fluttershy sighed and did just that. After a few seconds, the door opened. When Ragnar saw what had done that, he froze. He immediately realized that this town could be in grave danger if he didn't act. He suddenly grabbed his battleaxe and hefted it into the air. "DRAAAAAAGOOOON!"
The short, purple dragon nearly jumped out of his scales. Ragnar swung his axe at him before either of the Pegasi could stop him, but he easily scrambled out of the dwarf's warpath. The blow left a sizable dent in the floor of the tree, and Ragnar's axe was stuck in it. Before he could pull it out, Rainbow Dash flew up behind him and bucked him in the back, causing him to fall forward.
"What do you think you're doing?!" Rainbow demanded. "First you want to mate with Fluttershy, then you try to KILL SPIKE?!"
Ragnar recovered quickly. "Yer town is in danger! That dragon's gonna grow to a monstrous size, and then I won't be able ta deal with it! We gotta kill it while it's young!"
"That dragon is our FRIEND, you IDIOT!"
"What in the world is going on out here?" asked an unfamiliar voice. Ragnar looked towards the source of the voice to find another small horse. This one was lavender with a dark blue mane that was cut into very orderly bangs and had a single pink stripe in it. The insignia on her flank depicted a six-pointed star with smaller white stars surrounding it. The strange thing about her, though, was that she had both the wings of a Pegasus and the horn of a unicorn. She was also a bit taller than Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.
"Twilight!" Rainbow exclaimed. "We've gotta do something about this guy! He's gonna cause more chaos than Discord if we don't rein him in somehow!"
"Let's all just calm down for a minute," said the one known only as Twilight. She did what Ragnar could only assume was a breathing exercise in order to steady herself. "Why don't you all come in, and we'll work this out like adults?"
"After he tried to kill Spike?!"
"I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation." Twilight's horn started glowing with purple light. Ragnar watched in awe as the same purple light surrounded his axe and lifted it from the ground, then put it somewhere within the tree that he couldn't see. "I'm going to have to hold on to your axe until further notice."
Ragnar's awe was replaced with anger. "Ye cannae take me axe away! It's an heirloom!"
"You'll get it back if you cooperate. Now come inside. And don't even think about attacking Spike again."
Ragnar was still angry, but he decided he would have to behave. If it turned out that these horses actually were the dominant species in this place, he decided it was best to stay on their good side. He stood up and used a healing surge to bring himself to full HP again, then entered the tree house. Rainbow and Twilight followed.
The dragon looked horrified as soon as he saw Ragnar. "Y-you let him in?!"
"He's not going to hurt you, Spike," Twilight assured him. "This must be some kind of misunderstanding. We don't know what things are like wherever he's from, y'know?"
Ragnar was a bit confused. Not only did the name "Spike" seem far too simple for a dragon, but the owner of that name seemed almost timid. Any normal dragon would have dodged his strike and fried him with its flame breath (or whatever other breath weapon it had), but Spike had run away. It did make some sense to him--Spike was obviously very young--but even baby dragons were vicious as far as he knew.
"I guess you're right, but..." Spike rubbed his knuckles together nervously. How had Ragnar not noticed that he was bipedal up until now?
"Don't worry about it. Can you make some tea? Once you do that, you can just wait upstairs if you want."
Spike nodded. With a nervous look on his face, he walked into another room.
Ragnar realized that he had failed a Perception check, because only just then did he realize that he wasn't in a house. He was in a library. There were bookshelves lining the walls, and each one was so full that not even one more book would fit. There was even a rolling shelf with more books on it near the wall and a rolling ladder for reaching high shelves. At the same time, however, there was obviously a kitchen. Did Twilight and Spike live here?
"Everypony take a seat," Twilight said. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash did just that, and Ragnar did after them. "We have a lot to talk about."
"Okay, so lemme make sure I got this right," Ragnar said as he put down his teacup. "Yer not horses, yer ponies."
"That's right," Twilight replied.
"The dragon is friendly and always will be."
"Yes, go on."
"The supreme rulers 'round here are ponies like ye, with the wings and the horn, that raise the sun and the moon."
"And...?"
"And riding on yer backs is a no-go."
"All right, that covers the basics. You shouldn't have any problems, provided you stay out of trouble."
"Hey, uh...sorry I thought you were a rapist," Rainbow Dash said sheepishly. "I'm not exactly one to trust new people very easily. No hard feelings, right?"
"None at all," Ragnar replied. "Anyway, I'm sure ye don't need me life story, so I'll just explain me actions briefly. Where I'm from, we adventurers like to ride on horseback to travel from place to place, I have a heightened danger sense 'cause of all the monsters, and when I first ran into Fluttershy here, I failed a Diplomacy check when I was just tryin' to make conversation."
The three ponies looked confused for a second. "Um...what's a Diplomacy check?" Fluttershy asked.
"I'm surprised ye don't know! Ye just roll a twenty-sided die and add yer Charisma modifier."
"I didn't see you rolling any dice," Rainbow said.
"...Well, what I'm tryin' to say is that I tripped over me words. It happens where I'm from--ya try and convince the king that yer a royal ambassador and ya end up sayin' that yer tryin' to, and I quote, 'stick me flag in yer daughter and claim her as me territory.'"
"How is that tripping over your words?"
"I don't claim to understand it. I just follow the rules."
"Your world sounds...interesting," Twilight said. "All right...I'll talk to the mayor about living arrangements. Until then, you can stay here if you want."
"Nah, I have me own bedroll. I can sleep under the stars for a night or three."
"All right, then. As promised, here's your axe back."
Twilight's horn glowed with a purple aura again, and Ragnar's axe floated over to the table. Ragnar took it from the air and stood up before putting it on his back. "Well, it's been a pleasure meetin' all of ye, but I think I'm gonna do some lookin' around town. If I'm gonna be livin' here, I should get to know the place."
"That's a good plan. If you have any more questions, you can always come and ask me."
Ragnar nodded, then turned around and left the library. In all honesty, he had no idea what he was going to do first...but he did have one idea.
Ragnar entered a dimly-lit pub. It was rather spacious, and looked as if it was intended to give ponies that were too drunk to go home a place to sleep for the night. That wasn't the important part, however--Ragnar's eyes fell upon the bar and the line of stools that surrounded it. At this time of day, only one other pony was sitting at the bar, and the bartender looked extremely bored. The news about Ragnar's arrival apparently traveled fast--neither of the pub's inhabitants seemed at all surprised to see him.
Ragnar took a seat beside the other pony. "Barkeep, gimme somethin' so strong that it'd make a pony roll a Constitution save," he said.
The bartender gave him a strange look. "A what now?"
Ragnar was having trouble getting used to that. He cleared his throat. "The strongest drink ya got."
The strange look was wiped away as the bartender nodded and took a bottle down from the shelf. As he started mixing a few things together, the pony beside Ragnar laughed heartily. "You're a brave one," she said in a slightly drunken slur.
Ragnar turned to the other customer, only now getting a good look at her. Everything about her was some shade of purple--her coat was a classic light shade, and her mane and eyes were tinted with red. The emblem on her flank showed a strawberry and a bunch of grapes. He nodded to her. "Hardly," he said. "If yer standards for alcohol are like the humans' where I come from, it'll take the strongest thing ya've got just to give me a buzz."
The inebriated pony's eyes widened. "No kidding?"
"We Dwarves have more tolerance fer this stuff than an Indian elephant. Watch and learn."
As if on cue, the bartender placed a glass on the bar in front of Ragnar. It was filled with liquid that was red near the bottom and faded to yellow as it reached the top. It danced around in the glass like a campfire. Thick froth overflowed over the glass, bubbling like hot tar. "One Phantom Fireball Whiskey," he said with a hint of slyness in his voice. "The strongest thing we've got."
Ragnar took the glass and raised it slightly. "Cheers."
Both ponies watched in amazement as Ragnar tipped the glass back, downing the whole pint in seconds. Ragnar was willing to admit that this was a strong brew, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. He put the glass down after he was done and wiped a bit of froth from his mouth.
The other patron clapped with her front hooves. "Now THAT was impressive," she said. She held her hoof out to Ragnar. "My name's Berry Punch."
Ragnar took Berry's hoof and shook it. "Ragnar Hallowshield," he replied with a smile. "What brings ye here at this time of day?"
Berry laughed. Ragnar could tell that it wasn't a completely happy laugh--it was more self-deprecative than anything. "Not much else for me to do, honestly," she said. "My daughter's at school, and she doesn't want me picking her up anymore. I always show up drunk."
Ragnar frowned. "If it's such a bother to yer daughter, then why don'tcha just stop drinkin' the stuff?"
"It's...complicated. If you were in my position, you'd get it." Berry tapped her hoof on the bar. "Let me get another pint."
The bartender put a mug full of ale in front of Berry. As she drank it, Ragnar decided that pressing her for details wasn't going to go over well, so he dropped the issue. "What's yer daughter like?"
Berry put down her mug and smiled again. This time, it was much more sincere. "Her name's Ruby Pinch, but everypony just calls her Pinchy. She's a little troublemaker, but she's so sweet that I usually let her get away with it. Miss Cheerilee--the local teacher--gets really mad and confused that she gets good grades when she goofs off in class so much."
Ragnar chuckled. "She sounds like a great little girl." He turned to the bartender. "Gimme another one of those whiskeys."
"I just hope she doesn't change too much once she gets her cutie mark. I've heard that a lot of kids really adjust their attitudes after they discover their talents."
"What in the world's a 'cutie mark?'"
"Wow, you really don't know much about this place, do you?" Berry gestured to the fruits on her flank. "They symbolize our special talents. Mine is making juice and wine."
"Well, if ya can make wine, then why're ya here?"
"Do you know how expensive buying all those grapes would be? I only make wine when I plan on selling it. The stuff goes for crazy prices in Canterlot." Berry took another draught from her ale. "Besides, wine is a sometimes drink. Trust me, I'm a bit of an expert."
The bartender put another Phantom Fireball Whiskey in front of Ragnar. This time, he decided to savor it. "I can respect that."
"Not to mention, Barley Hops here makes the best ale in all of Equestria." Berry turned to the bartender. "Isn't that right, Barley?"
"You haven't had ale from anywhere else," Barley replied.
"Not the point! Point is, you brew a spirited spirit!"
Ragnar laughed. "I wish I'd brought the recipe fer Dwarven ale with me," he said. "The stuff would blow yer mind. And possibly yer liver."
"Man, you're gonna have to come back here sometimes and tell me more about the place you came from," Berry said. "I listen to a lot of ponies ramble on while I'm here, but I'm willing to bet that your stories will be the best."
"Well, I'm not in any hurry right this minute. How 'bout I just tell ye a little somethin' now?"
Berry's eyes lit up. "R-really?!"
"Oh, fer sure! Ye get a lot of stories to tell when yer goin' through paladin training." Ragnar made himself a bit more comfortable. "I'll start from the time me friend Lance spiked an ambassador's drink..."
Only when Ragnar left the pub did he realize how much time had passed while he was there. When he stepped outside, the first thing on his mind was getting somewhere peaceful to set up his bedroll. He wasn't sure how the village's night life was, but he didn't want it keeping him up at night. He figured he could set it up safely on the outskirts of town. The walk took a bit longer than Ragnar thought it would, but eventually, he was situated just between the town and the neighboring forest. He wasn't sure about sleeping near a place that he knew hostile wolves lived in, but if he took on three before with little trouble, he was sure he could handle them for a few days.
By the time Ragnar had set up his bedroll, it was sunset. He thought it would take longer to do this, and he considered going back into town and enjoying more of the ponies' lifestyle...but something stopped him. He had lived for 64 years, and each one of them was a good one--even the ones he looked back on in disdain were only like that because of minor regrets and disappointment. In those 64 years, he had seen the sky thousands of times. Up until now, he had thought that the sky was just a shade of blue that varied in brightness to fill in a void, with clouds only showing up when it rained. He only saw what the supreme deity "DM" described, and given that said deity didn't care much for long descriptions, that wasn't usually all that much.
With all this in mind, before Ragnar was the most gorgeous sunset he had seen in his entire life.
The sun sat on the horizon, lighting the sky up with brilliant flares of orange. Some clouds were slowly creeping in from the north, and the sun gave them a shimmering aura. It seemed as though the entire sky was on fire with the sun's brilliance. Its rays stretched all the way across the sky, brightening the world with the last remnants of the day's light.
A sunset like this really made Ragnar think. He was in a world that wasn't his own. Nothing that he knew from his childhood was there for him anymore, save for his ever-trustworthy axe. Before, he had just been concerned with what an adventurer would normally be concerned with--survival and making use of what he's given. Now, though, he had to wonder if he would ever find a way home...or if he should even try.
His thoughts were interrupted by small footsteps. Normally, he wouldn't have noticed, but these footsteps were not only getting louder, but they were also constant. It was like listening to a bard tap-dance on a shag carpet. He turned towards the source of the sounds to see three small fillies running past him. One was an orange Pegasus with a purple mane, one was a white unicorn with a half-lavender, half-pink mane, and one was a sand-colored regular pony with a strawberry mane and an enormous hot pink bow. None of them seemed to have cutie marks.
The Pegasus turned towards him and smiled. "Hi, Randall!" she exclaimed. The trio stopped, and the other two ponies turned towards him as well.
"Randall?" the unicorn asked. "His name is Ragnar, not Randall."
"Yeah, whatever." The three fillies walked over to the dwarf. "We've heard a lot about you! Is it true that you were gonna mount Fluttershy and 'buck her like a lion?'"
"Oh, gods, no!" Ragnar exclaimed. "How do the rumors get around so fast and the truth behind 'em doesn't? We cleared up the misunderstandin' at Twilight's library."
"I told ya!" the sand-colored filly said smugly, in a slightly exaggerated southern drawl.
"Yeah, yeah," the Pegasus said. "Rub it in."
The unicorn cleared her throat. Ragnar noticed that her voice was ridiculously high-pitched, even by little girl standards. "Sorry, I just realized that we know your name and you don't know ours! I'm Sweetie Belle."
"I'm Apple Bloom," the regular pony added. She then gestured towards the Pegasus. "And this is Scootaloo."
"Well, it's good to meet ya," Ragnar replied, smiling. "What brings ye here so late in the day?"
"Well, uh...to be honest, it was hard not to be curious when we heard the rumors about you," Sweetie Belle said sheepishly. "We heard you're a paladin! We had to come see for ourselves!"
"You don't know what a paladin is!" Scootaloo interrupted.
"Yes I do! It's a..." Ragnar could tell that Sweetie Belle was wracking her brain on this one. "It's a...um..." She looked sheepish again. "...a stallion with attitude?"
Ragnar chuckled. "Not even close. A paladin is a champion of a god that lives to protect those around him. The best term to describe us would probably be 'holy warriors.'"
"That sounds really interestin'!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "But...that means ya gotta do a lot of fightin', right?"
"Oh, believe me, bein' a paladin isn't easy. But let me tell ya somethin', lass...nothin' in life worth havin' comes easy."
"I know...it's just that Equestria's a pretty peaceful place. There's not much for a warrior like yourself to do 'round here."
"Really? But I fought three wooden wolves in the forest just this mornin'."
Suddenly, the three fillies' eyes widened to levels beyond belief. "You fought TIMBERWOLVES?" they asked simultaneously, nearly blowing out Ragnar's eardrums.
"Ya don't have to scream at me!" Ragnar rubbed his forehead for a brief moment before continuing. "Besides, with dragons runnin' around in this country, I'd hardly think that some Druid's experiment is what ye should be worried about."
"The dragons usually stay in the mountains waaaaay off the eastern border," Sweetie Belle explained. "But the Timberwolves are always hanging around in the woods."
"You fought Timberwolves, but you came into town without a scratch!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "That's amazing! I'm surprised someone as...um...bulky as you has that kind of agility."
"Agility? What're ye talkin' about? I've got trainin' as a warrior--I'd have to be a fool not to use it."
By now, the three fillies were looking at Ragnar as if he was a celebrity giving them a signed photograph. He was a bit concerned that they were idolizing him over something so simple as cutting up a few wooden animals.
"Giiii-iiirls!" an elegant voice called. Everyone present turned to see another white unicorn. This one was about Fluttershy's and Rainbow Dash's age, with a purple mane that was curled up towards the end. Normally, it'd look rather silly, but she pulled it off with aplomb and even made it look upper-class. Her eyes were noticeably sharper than the others, and her eyelashes were much larger. "It's time to go home."
"Okay, Rarity!" Sweetie Belle replied. She turned back to Ragnar. "To be continued?"
"Sure, kiddo," Ragnar said.
The three fillies smiled and ran towards Rarity in high spirits. Rarity had walked a bit closer in the meantime, and she appeared to be studying Ragnar. She put a hoof up to her chin in thought. "Say, Ragnar...would you mind coming to Carousel Boutique tomorrow? There are a few things I would like to know."
"Sure, I can do that. Where's Carousel Boutique?"
"It's near the center of town. Trust me, you'll know it when you see it." Rarity nodded her head. "Thank you for keeping the girls out of trouble, even if only for a moment. Until tomorrow."
With that, Rarity and the girls turned and went back into the town. Ragnar was alone with his thoughts. As he watched the sun go down, he couldn't help but smile. "Maybe this won't be so bad after all," he said to himself.
The next morning was the brightest that Ragnar had seen in a long time. The sun was sparing no expense in bathing Equestria in its golden light, and that alone was enough to wake him up. After folding up his bedroll and putting it in his bag, he tried to recall what had happened last night.
"Oh, now I remember. That Rarity lass wanted to see me at...Carousel Boutique, I think it was," Ragnar said to himself. "I cannae imagine what she could want, but I told her I'd be there. Better get to steppin'."
With that, he picked up his axe and put it on his back, then walked into town, trying to shake off the sleep as he traveled.
Rarity let out a relieved sigh. Her work room was an absolute mess--there were bits and pieces of cloth strewn everywhere, small cobwebs had grown in the corners due to neglect, and there were even a few ponyquins that had been knocked over. Despite it all, however, Rarity had finished her next big project. She couldn't wait to unveil it, but first she would have to clean up.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on the front door. Almost instantly afterwards, she heard the door to Sweetie Belle's room slam open. She could hear her sister shriek in excitement and sprint towards the door, and she was surprised that the windows were still intact.
"Sweetie Belle, will you please calm down?" Rarity asked. "I honestly don't understand why you're getting so worked up over Ragnar's visit."
Sweetie Belle didn't respond. Rarity put her work glasses on the table and went to the living room, where Sweetie Belle had already opened the door. Ragnar was on the other side, and he waved politely as he stepped into the building.
"Ye weren't kidding when ye said I'd know this place when I saw it," Ragnar said. "I thought that 'Carousel Boutique' was just a metaphor or somethin'."
"I'm glad you could make it," Rarity said. "Please, make yourself at home."
"Ragnar, Ragnar!" Sweetie Belle was jumping up and down with excitement. "Tell us about the Timberwolves some more!"
Ragnar took his axe off of his back and sat down, placing it across his lap carefully so that he didn't accidentally cut up Rarity's stool. "I will, I will. Just gimme a chance to see what yer sister wants, will ya?"
Sweetie Belle gasped with delight, causing her to hover in the air for a few seconds. She landed and sat down immediately, holding her breath and puffing out her cheeks. She was so excited that she vibrated in place like a string on a harp.
"Is she always like this?" Ragnar asked, turning to the more reasonable pony of the two sisters.
Rarity smiled and rolled her eyes. "Few things are more excitable than a little filly."
"...She's turnin' blue."
"She'll start breathing again when she needs to. Now, about why I called you here..." Rarity looked down at Ragnar's weapon of choice. "I'm a bit curious. Where did you get such a dangerous weapon?"
"This axe has been passed down in me family fer generations," Ragnar explained. "Me distant ancestor forged it himself the day he became a fully-fledged paladin."
"Would you object if I got a closer look at it?"
Ragnar shook his head and held the axe out to her. "Be careful with it. I keep it sharp."
Sweetie Belle suddenly let out the breath she had been holding, falling onto her stomach as she did so. She started breathing so heavily that it was comical.
Rarity picked up the axe with her magic and inspected it closely. She held it at various angles, getting a close look at every side, every dent, every last detail. The blade was nothing short of pristine--it seemed that Ragnar not only kept it sharp, but well-maintained and even polished. The handle, however, was another story.
"I must ask, why is the handle in such poor condition?" she asked. "With how well you keep the blade, it just seems such a sharp contrast."
"I fix it up just enough to keep it from breakin'," Ragnar replied. "We Dwarves are blacksmiths, not carpenters."
"I suppose that's fair. Hmm...I believe I could help you with this."
"But...if ye run a boutique, what would ye know about woodworkin'?"
"I'm not one to turn down a new art form. Sewing may be the way I make a living, but it's not the only thing I know."
"Well...I dinnae think I can argue with that. How much will this cost me?"
"It's a rather small project, so it won't be very expensive. I will tell you once it's complete, and you can decide whether or not you want it then."
"Sounds good. In the meantime, I guess I should get yer sister to stop bouncin' off the walls."
Rarity giggled. "That would be for the best, yes. If you need me, I'll be in my workroom. I won't be done until around noon, so feel free to explore the town a bit if you so desire."
As Rarity went upstairs with the axe in tow, Sweetie Belle bounded up to Ragnar's lap. She looked directly into his eyes, and he noticed that they were positively glowing. "Tellmetellmetellme!"
"Easy there, lass," Ragnar said. "What's the big deal about a buncha wolves, anyway? They weren't all that dangerous."
"Are you KIDDING? In all of Equestria, the Timberwolves are the only predator that we really have to deal with! They used to eat ponies all the time, and I'm not even sure they have stomachs!"
"Ah, I get it. Are ponies scared of 'em?"
"I know I am!"
"Well, yer certainly honest. Always a good trait." Ragnar cleared his throat. "So what do ye wanna know, anyway?"
"Just how you fought the Timberwolves."
"Well, it ain't rocket science. I swung me axe at 'em, chopped 'em up, they fell apart. Simple physics, lass."
Despite the simplicity of the act, Sweetie Belle was nothing short of enthralled. Ragnar almost expected her to jump to the floor and bow before him, she was so excited. "You must be a really good fighter if they didn't even faze you!"
"Ehh...debatable. I've got a lot of trainin' under me belt, but I still have a long way to go."
"What kinds of stuff did you fight back home? They must have been scary strong, if they're tougher than Timberwolves!"
Ragnar held back the urge to sigh. He was going to be here for a while.
After leaving the boutique, Ragnar went to go get breakfast. On his way over to a restaurant, he ran into Twilight, who told him to go see the mayor as soon as he could--she wanted to talk to him about a house. He was happy to make the appointment, and he was now in Town Hall, sitting on the other side of the mayor's desk. The mayor was looking over a stack of papers, but she set it aside when she was ready to speak.
"After careful consideration, I think I've found a place that you can afford that's vacant," the mayor said.
"Somethin' cheap, aye? All right, that sounds just fine. How much fer it?"
"It's free."
Ragnar was silent for a moment. He expected the mayor to tell him that she was just joking, but she never did. "Seriously?"
"I know what you're thinking, but...there's a pretty big catch." The mayor's expression became one of concern. "You see, the house isn't vacant because it was sold. It's vacant because the last ponies that lived in it went missing."
"Ach...it's never simple, is it?" Ragnar asked himself. "Does anyone know why?"
"There's only a childish rumor floating around, saying that they were abducted by the Headless Horse."
"Headless Horse? What in the world is that supposed to be?"
"It's the subject of ghost stories and myth, but it's certainly not something you need to be concerned over. The circumstances of the abduction were similar to the stories, but it's simple coincidence."
"Well, why're ya givin' this place away, then?"
"The realtors can't get anypony to spend a single bit on it and it's starting to become an eyesore. You need a place to live, but you don't have enough money for another house. The situation seems a bit self-explanatory if you ask me."
"I suppose so...well, I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak. Just to be safe, could ya tell me anything about the stories of the Headless Horse, so I know to watch out fer the signs?"
"I don't deal in fantasies, Mr. Hallowshield. The local princess in town will probably have something on the matter--if you're really worried about this, go ask her."
"All right then. At any rate, ye've got yerself a deal."
"Good. I hope you can do something with that place--make it less of a pain to look at." The mayor smiled and outstretched her hoof. "Welcome to Ponyville, Mr. Hallowshield."
Ragnar took the mayor's hoof and shook it up and down. "Thank ye. I promise I won't make any more trouble if I can help it."
Ragnar went to the library to ask Twilight about the Headless Horse, and she decided to walk Ragnar to his new home as they talked about it. As it turned out, she did know about the Headless Horse. Ragnar was far from surprised--she owned a library, after all. She vaguely reminded him of DM's lore-spewing emissaries--referred to in the holy texts as "NPCs"--but she came off as pleasant and welcoming instead of annoying.
"They say that you'll know he's coming because he's the only thing on this side of the mountains way out west that whinnies outside of sleep or being silly," Twilight said. "How it pulls that off without a head, I'll never know, but it has this weird echo-y sound to it. Some of the stories say that the whinny alone is enough to steal souls."
"Ye don't sound too worried about it," Ragnar observed.
"Well, he's a myth. Nothing in this world can live without a head--it's not scientifically possible. The general consensus is that you have to be pretty young to actually believe in this."
"So why's the rumor floatin' around, then? If it were such an easily dispelled theory, it wouldnae be holdin' water, right?"
"I dunno. You get an idea into somepony's head, and all of a sudden everypony in town is worried that hydras are going to trample the apple orchard and steal all of our mares."
"Ah, yeah, small town folk. So what're the other signs?"
"Other than the ghostly whinny? Well...a common interpretation is that the night before he comes, it's excruciatingly cold around the planned victim. So cold that it's impossible to sleep."
"That sounds kinda unrealistic..."
"What did you expect? It's a ghost story."
"Ach, right. So it gets really cold and ya can hear it callin'. I'll be sure to keep an eye out."
Twilight looked a bit confused. "Wait...are you actually worried about this?"
"Well...the mayor said that the previous tenants in me new home disappeared in a manner that was pretty close to what the stories say. I dinnae know what the stories said, and now I know to look out for the signs."
"Hmm...all right. There is one last sign." Her normal expression returned. "His hoofsteps are LOUD. Like, constantly-stomping-on-a-brick-walkway loud."
"That's an...interestin' analogy."
"It's an accurate analogy."
"All right, then. Thanks fer lettin' me know."
"I think you're a bit silly for considering this possibility, but if this helps you sleep at night, I'm happy to have helped you." Twilight smiled all of a sudden. "Well, here we are."
The house didn't look much different from the other thatched-roof cottages, but it was near a lake that Ragnar hadn't even known about before. There was a shore of mud on one side of the lake, a windmill, and several two-story houses. Ragnar's house appeared to be the only one-story house in this part of the town. One of the fancier houses even had a small dock in the backyard.
"I know it's a little...small..." Twilight rubbed the back of her head nervously. "...but everything is perfectly functional, and with a quick cleanup, it'll feel just like a home should!"
"I'm...a little surprised, to be honest." Ragnar smiled a bit. "I was expectin' to have to sleep in me bedroll fer the rest of me time here, but ye ponies have put me up like I'm one of ye."
"Well...yeah. You're here now, and there isn't much anyone can do about it. As long as you're in Ponyville, you're going to get the best of Ponyville's hospitality." Twilight returned Ragnar's grin. "Well, I've got some things to do. You have to go pick up your axe right about now, right?"
"Hmm...is it noon already? I've been runnin' around town all mornin'...dinnae even notice." Ragnar's smile faded. "I really need to buy a map or somethin'."
"Well...I can walk with you to the market square, at least. You know how to get to the boutique from there, right?"
"Aye...pretty sure, at any rate. Hopefully I'll be able to just stay here and relax after I've got me axe back. I never thought tryin' to find yer way around an unfamiliar place like this would be so taxin'."
Twilight grinned slyly as she turned towards Ragnar again. "Aren't you a warrior? You beat three Timberwolves without getting fatigued, and you're having trouble with being lost?"
"Hey, there's a pretty big difference between physical fatigue and emotional fatigue!"
"Of course, of course." Twilight started walking towards the market square. "This way."
"It looks amazing, Rarity," Sweetie Belle said.
"Thank you, dear. I do hope he appreciates it," Rarity replied. In her telekinetic grip, she held an elongated piece of wood that looked like a knife handle. It was about the same size as the handle on Ragnar's axe. There were sapphires embedded into the pommel, and the shape was intended to make it easy to grip. "He's waiting downstairs, is he not?"
Sweetie Belle nodded vigorously. "Let's go show this to him!"
"Well, hold on now, sweetie. You're getting ahead of yourself just a bit." Rarity put the handle down on her workbench and lifted Ragnar's axe instead. "The axe is a bit too heavy for me to lift it and the new product, so I need you to carry that. You can do that, right?"
"Sure!...As long as it's not too much heavier than the broom at Twilight's place."
Sweetie Belle's horn lit up with green light, and she lifted the piece of wood into the air. She struggled with it for a second, but still managed to stabilize it with relative ease.
"Good work! Now, let's not keep our guest waiting any longer."
Rarity opened the door to the main room with her hoof, and both sisters went downstairs. Ragnar's eyebrow raised when he saw the new product. Rarity couldn't tell what he was thinking.
"Ye put sapphires in it, and ye said it's nae gonna cost me too much?" Ragnar asked. "That seems a wee bit contradictory."
"Why, whatever do you mean?" Rarity asked as she put the axe on the table.
"Sapphires are expensive, ain't they? Even small ones can go for high prices! The things are rare."
"Not in Equestria!" Sweetie Belle chirped. "Gems are crazy common in the Diamond Dog nest at the foots of the mountains!"
"...Diamond Dogs...?"
"We'll talk about those some other time," Rarity interjected. "For this, I will only require...ten bits."
Ragnar was silent. He looked confused. "What in the world is a 'bit?'"
Rarity and Sweetie Belle exchanged glances. Sweetie Belle then had an idea. She put the handle down, ran over to Rarity's fainting couch, and stuck her foreleg between the cushion and the pillow. She shuffled through it for a bit until her hoof hit something, and she pulled it out of the crevice. "It's one of these!"
Ragnar's confusion left. "Oh, they're gold coins? All right, I have some of those on me."
Rarity rolled her eyes as Ragnar started sifting through his own bag. "How does loose change always fall in there? That's even more difficult to explain than Fluttershy making a dragon cry."
Ragnar finally produced ten gold pieces and put them on the table beside the handle. He picked up the handle in their place and gave it a few experimental swings, despite the fact that the blade had yet to be attached. Nevertheless, he smiled after five broad swipes. "Ye did a fine job on this! Me ancestors would be proud."
Rarity picked up the coins with her magic. She would put them in her purse when she got upstairs again. "Do you need help with the blade at all?"
"Nae, nae. Watch this." Ragnar put the handle down and picked up his axe by the top, just above the blade. He held it like an old man would a walking stick, raised it into the air, and slammed it into the floor. Rarity expected this to damage her floor, but the old handle just exploded into splinters instead. The pieces landed in a pile just below the axe's blade, and the blade landed on top of them. Ragnar grabbed the blade from the wreckage. "I can clean that up."
"No, no, it's...it's all right. Sweetie Belle, if you could get me the broom..."
"You got it, sis!" Sweetie Belle yelled. She ran out of the room.
Ragnar wasted no time in attaching the blade to the new handle. After a few more test swings to ensure that it wouldn't fall out, he finally seemed satisfied and hooked his axe back into place. "Thank ye again fer this. I appreciate it."
"Oh, it was no problem at all. I hope you can make good use of it, even if only as decoration."
"All right...I'm spent. I'm gonna head home...it was great talkin' to ye both."
"Likewise! If you ever need me to touch up your armor, I'll give you a discount."
Ragnar turned and left the boutique, looking forward to getting home and finally having a chance to relax.
The moon was high in the sky by the time Ragnar actually found his way back to the house. As he opened the door and went inside, he cursed himself for making Intelligence one of his dump stats--it made for rather poor memory. The house's interior was rather simple, just like the exterior. There was a living room, a kitchen, and a bedroom, but only the latter was properly furnished. He would need to buy tables and chairs for the other rooms, but there was a bed waiting for him when he went into the bedroom. He immediately crawled onto it and sat there, testing out its firmness.
"Well, this was a lucky break," Ragnar said to himself. "Headless Horse be damned--I got a free bed!"
Ragnar took his armor off and withdrew into the blanket. It was slightly scratchy, but he could wash it easily when the sun was up again. The whole day spent in confusion finally took its toll, and he was already falling asleep.
Just as he was about to slip off into a pleasant dream, however, he heard a screech.
"What...was that?" he asked. He was far too tired to get up, so he settled for laying there, completely still. He heard the screech again after a few seconds, but it was longer and a bit more intelligible. Realization struck him like a freight train.
The next morning, Ragnar had a clear destination in mind. The minute he put his armor on and walked out the door, he wracked his brain to remember where the library was. he had made the trip to the market square multiple times yesterday, so he knew how to get there. Once he was there, the library was only a few blocks away--that much, he could remember.
Ragnar's sharp knock on the door was answered once again by Spike. "Oh, uh--"
"THE HORROR'S ON OUR DOORSTEP!" Ragnar bellowed without hesitation.
Spike jumped at the volume of Ragnar's voice. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fell on his back.
"For pony's sake, Ragnar," Twilight sighed. "Do you have to scare Spike half to death every time you come here?"
"Ach...sorry." Ragnar picked up the small dragon's comatose body and put him on his shoulder, then walked in. "It's just that I heard it last night!"
"...Heard what?"
"The Headless Horse!"
Twilight just stared at Ragnar for a minute. Ragnar stared back at her. He thought he saw her lips curl up into a tiny grin, but she seemed to be trying to hide that. After a moment, she gave up and burst out laughing.
"I'm serious, lass! I heard it just as I was goin' to sleep!"
"Oh, I'm sure!" Twilight exclaimed, struggling to speak coherently through her laughter. "You never told me you had a sense of humor, Ragnar!"
"Why would I joke about somethin' like this?!"
By this point, Twilight was laughing so hard that she fell off of her chair. She wasn't responding.
"Ugh...look, just gimme one of those ghost stories."
Twilight's guffaws subsided enough for her to climb back into her chair, and now she was breathing heavily to calm herself down a bit. "S-sorry...I'll hear you out, at least. What happened?"
"It's just like I said...I heard the thing before I fell asleep last night. Is there anything I can do?"
Twilight shook her head. "If you've heard its cry...you can't stop it from coming. That's what the stories say. But...they never said you couldn't fight back."
"...What kind of self-respectin' ghost story antagonist can be fought against?"
"The victims from the stories only had wings, hooves, and magic. You have that axe." Twilight gestured towards the weapon on Ragnar's back. "If nothing else, you can cut off its legs. It'll be a bit messy, but I can only imagine it would be effective."
Ragnar's face suddenly lit up. "Ohh, I get it...he's the first campaign boss!"
"The first what now?"
"It's--ach, never mind." Ragnar got up and stretched. "I dinnae know how I'm gonna prepare for combat in this place, but I can certainly try."
"Wow...you're really serious about this, huh?"
"Couldnae ye tell? If this Headless Horse terrorizes everyone who moves into that house, then it's in both my personal best interest and the best interest of anyone else who would move into it to take care of this thing."
"Hmm...all right. But if you didn't feel the cold, then you've got at least two days." Twilight smiled, and the expression in her eyes seemed to indicate that she was trying to sooth Ragnar's anxiety. "Take it easy until then, okay? It's not worth keeping yourself worked up until he comes for you."
Ragnar would've objected normally, but he knew that Twilight was probably right. In his home world, there was never any moment that was completely safe. Monsters lurked around every corner, and the more corners you turned, the stronger the monsters would get. But here, there were no such dangers. It was a land of peace and harmony--it didn't take a genius to see that. Still, he was a bit troubled. "...Ye still don't believe me, do ya?"
"I feel like you could've been hearing things...but it's obvious that it's really bothering you. Whether it was actually the Headless Horse or not, you think it is, and I take the emotions of others seriously." Twilight cleared her throat. "That said...sorry I burst out laughing at first there."
"Ah, it's fine. Yer concern means a lot." Ragnar smiled. "Well, if I'm gonna take it easy...I'm gonna do it the Dwarven way!"
"I keep forgettin' that the Dwarven way works better when there are other Dwarves around."
"It probably does," Berry said.
The Dwarven way of taking it easy referred to getting drunk at the nearest bar. As such, Ragnar had gone to Ponyville's own tavern, where Berry Punch was as well. A different bartender was there--which probably explained the bar's 24-hour schedule--but otherwise, it was the same as it had been last time.
"So what brings you here today?" Berry asked. "I don't think you're here to tell a story. You seem tense."
Ragnar sighed. "Tryin' to calm me nerves. I heard the Headless Horse last night."
Berry's eyes widened. "Ohh...you're gonna need a lot of booze for that." She turned to the bartender. "Give him three more whiskeys, on me."
The bartender nodded and turned around to mix the drinks. "I'll throw in a fourth on the house," he said.
"...Knowin' I'm gonna need that much drink isn't really helpin' matters."
"It will once you're drinking it," Berry said. She took a long sip of her ale, then put down the mug. "I wasn't sure if he was actually haunting the town...but if you heard him, it confirms that he is."
"I figured as much. When I talked to the mayor about it, she did say it was a rumor."
Berry cleared her throat. "The family that went missing was a family of carpenters. They were some of the best in town--if I didn't know any better, I'd say they were the ones that worked on your axe, there."
"Oh, nae, that was Rarity. Didn't set me back all that much."
"Rarity? I didn't take her for a woodworker."
"Neither did I, believe me. What were ye sayin' about the missin' ponies?"
"Oh, right. There was the mother, the father, and two foals--one a few years younger than Pinchy, one just a few weeks old."
"Ach...'tis a right shame." Ragnar accepted the four glasses that were put before him just then with a polite nod, which the bartender reciprocated.
"Yeah...and it was only ten days ago. There's still hope that they might turn up, but...at this point, nopony is expecting it to happen."
Ragnar downed one of the whiskeys in a single draught. He put the glass back onto the bar when he was done with it and sighed. He had seen a lot of death in his youth--his main motivation to become a paladin was to stop it. "I wish I could've been there to help."
"Don't even act like anypony would blame you." Despite Berry's state of slight inebriation, her voice was stern--almost in a maternal fashion. "You didn't even get here until...what was it, the day before yesterday? How could you have done anything?"
"Yeah, I know...but that doesn't make me feel better, knowin' that they died."
Suddenly, the door of the tavern swung open. A white pony with a pink mane done up in a bun ran into the dimly-lit building, her blue eyes frantic. She wore a nurse's cap. "Miss Punch?"
"Speaking," Berry replied. She looked concerned now. "What're you doing here, Nurse Redheart?"
"Something happened at the schoolhouse..." The nurse's expression mellowed somewhat as she took a deep breath. "Your daughter is injured. Will you come with me to the hospital?"
"What?!" Berry demanded. "What happened?!"
"There's no time for me to explain. Follow me if you're coming!"
Nurse Redheart ran out the door. Berry was about to follow her, but Ragnar put a hand on her shoulder. She turned towards him. "What are you doing?"
"I'm goin' with ye," Ragnar said as he got up from his seat. "It may not be any of me business, but I can help."
Berry considered asking how, but she knew that, just as Nurse Redheart had no time to explain, the same would be true for Ragnar. Instead, she just nodded and ran out the door as well. Ragnar was close behind, praying to whatever gods existed in Equestria that he would be able to keep up.
When Berry, Nurse Redheart, and Ragnar got to the right hospital room, they found that it was about to be rather crowded. A deep purple mare with a pale pink mane was already in the room, along with a butterscotch unicorn stallion with a white coat and a stethoscope. Laying in the hospital bed was a sleeping unicorn filly whose color scheme closely resembled Berry Punch's. Berry ran into the room, and the other two newcomers followed.
"Oh, my baby...what happened?" Berry asked weakly. If she was still feeling buzzed, she did a good job of hiding it. "Please...please tell me she'll be all right..."
"One thing at a time," the stallion said firmly. "Miss Cheerilee, you know the story of what happened better than I do."
Cheerilee nodded. "It was recess...the children were just playing games like they always do. One of the kids threw a frisbee, and it landed in the branches of a tree...then Ruby went up to get it, and...she fell."
"She's going to be fine after a few days of rest," the doctor said reassuringly. "None of her bones were broken. That's reason enough to celebrate."
Ruby's eyes suddenly fluttered open as she heard the voices around her. She looked around the room and saw Berry looking back at her. "M-mama...?"
Berry suddenly wrapped her daughter in a close embrace. "Did you hear the doctor, sweetie? You're going to be all right!"
"What...happened to me?"
"You fell from the tree you were climbing," Cheerilee said. "I don't want to see you doing something so irresponsible again. If this ever comes up, let me know next time."
Ruby nodded. "Yes, ma'am."
Ragnar cleared his throat. "I don't mean to be rude, but...well, we don't have to wait days for her to get better. We don't even have to wait hours."
Everyone in the room turned to Ragnar, bewildered looks on their faces. "What do you mean by that?" the doctor asked.
"I'll show ye. Berry, could ye move fer a second?"
Berry seemed a little hesitant, but she complied. She watched curiously along with everyone else as Ragnar put a hand on Ruby's forehead, being careful in putting his fingers around her horn. He closed his eyes and focused for a few seconds, then opened them.
"Lay on Hands."
Ragnar's hand started glowing with white light. The light persisted for about five seconds. When it faded, Ruby's eyes opened fully, and she sat up with a smile on her face. Ragnar took a step back, and she jumped out of the bed and onto the floor. The doctor was quick to object to this.
"Ruby, get back in bed! You're not well!"
Ruby peeked over the top of the bed towards the doctor. "Yes I am! I'm not even hurting anymore!"
"Don't be ridiculous. Let me get a better look."
Ruby climbed back onto the bed and did a full rotation. If she had been bleeding or bruised, she wasn't anymore--her coat was as pristine as it should've been.
"I...don't believe it." The doctor turned to Ragnar next. "What did you just do?"
"I healed her. Ain't it obvious?" Ragnar asked.
"B-but how?!" Berry demanded.
"I'm a paladin, lass! And as a paladin, the gods have given me the power to protect and heal people." Ragnar gestured towards Ruby, who was now doing a happy little jig. "Lay on Hands is one of those powers. I spend a healing surge to give someone an amount of HP equal to how much my surge heals."
Now everyone looked more confused--save Ruby, that is. The doctor decided not to ask any further questions about it, or he would be the one in a hospital bed next. "Can you do this whenever you want?"
"Only twice a day fer now, I'm afraid. I'm a paladin, but not one with much experience."
"...Mr. Hallowshield, I think we may be able to work out a deal."
"All right. What'd ye have in mind?"
"Meet me outside when you're ready, and we'll talk."
The doctor left the room. Meanwhile, Ruby jumped onto her mother's back. "Can we go home now?"
"Well, not just yet! You haven't thanked the nice paladin!" Berry replied.
"Oh, right!" Ruby turned towards Ragnar. "Thanks so much! If I had to lay here for three days, I would've gone nutso."
Ragnar chuckled a bit. "It's no problem, lass. Just don't hurt yerself again, aye?"
"Yes, sir!"
"I definitely owe you one," Berry said. "Next time you go to the pub, just tell the bartender to put everything on my tab if I'm not around."
"Ah, ye don't owe me nothin'. I'll see ye again soon."
Berry nodded and left, with her daughter in tow. Cheerilee cleared her throat. "I should get back to the schoolhouse...I was in such a rush that I didn't have time to leave somepony to watch the kids."
Cheerilee left, leaving Ragnar alone in the room with Nurse Redheart. He was the one to leave next, and the doctor was outside waiting for him. He gestured for Ragnar to join him as he walked, and he complied.
"You said you can do that twice a day, right?" the doctor asked.
"Aye. I'll be able to do it more as I get stronger."
"Had you done it before you helped Ruby Pinch?"
"That's a no, Doctor."
"All right, then, here's what I propose." The doctor stopped and faced Ragnar, prompting him to stop as well. "If you're willing to come here daily and use your healing magic on as many ponies as possible per day...I'll talk to the chief of medicine about giving you compensation for it."
"...Ye'll pay me fer comin' in once a day and usin' Lay on Hands?"
The doctor nodded. "See, healing magic in Equestria is next to impossible to learn. Even if somepony can learn it, the magic doesn't work as well as it could--it restores the body and heals wounds, but in a fashion that makes the affected bones brittle and the affected skin weak. Research is being done to make improvements, but it's a slow process. Your magic seems to work very differently, though--it just healed that child with no repercussions. Such an ability is invaluable to us."
"I...guess that makes sense. It doesn't work on sick people, though...just injuries."
"That's half of our job, Mr. Hallowshield. You'd be surprised how often accidents happen--whether it's a pegasus crashing, a unicorn overloading his or her magic, an earth pony taking a nasty fall...our work is never really over. But with you around, it would be much easier."
"Well, of course I'll do it. I get to help people, and I get paid fer it? That's a win-win in my book."
The doctor nodded. "Excellent. Come here whenever you have free time. For now, though...you should be able to take care of one more patient for today."
That night was cold--blisteringly so. Ragnar slept in his armor and cocooned himself in his blanket, but he couldn't escape the freezing temperature. He could see his breath, and his joints even felt stiff. There was no way he was going to sleep. Because of this, he spent much of the next day asleep--he wouldn't be able to fight the Headless Horse with an addled mind.
Unfortunately, Ragnar slept longer than he had intended to. He was rudely awoken by a sound that seemed like a cross between a horse stepping on stone and a small explosion. The sound repeated at a rhythm, and Ragnar knew exactly what it meant.
The Headless Horse was there.
Wide awake now, Ragnar looked out the window. The sun had just gone down, and only a small patch of dull orange sky showed any indication of its retirement for the day. He got up from his bed and prepared himself, grabbing his axe from its place on his back and holding it in both hands. More footsteps resounded through the house as he waited.
"I ain't gonna let ye terrorize anyone any longer than ye already have," Ragnar said.
More footsteps.
"I be a paladin. It's my job to protect the innocent!"
The footsteps got even louder than they were before.
"And as long as ye threaten these townsfolk...I won't have any mercy on ye!"
By now, the footsteps were so loud that Ragnar could barely hear himself think...and they still grew louder.
"COME ON, BEASTIE!" Ragnar planted his feet and prepared to strike. "ROLL FER INITIATIVE!"
Finally, the footsteps quieted down. A tall horse walked into the room through the wall to Ragnar's right. It was a sickly shade of white and had a billowing tail that almost looked like a cloud. As far as Ragnar could tell, it had no cutie mark. It also had no head.
"I thought ye'd be taller," Ragnar said in a threatening tone.
The Headless Horse charged at Ragnar. It slammed right into him in an attempt to knock him down. He could feel its power as it impacted with his chest, but his feet didn't move. He was unfazed, despite his enemy's best efforts. Suddenly, he lifted up his axe, and his eye glinted dangerously. Just as he was about to swing, he smirked as his attack roll went through.
He got a natural 20.
Ragnar's axe sliced through the air with deadly force. The second it impacted the Headless Horse, the sheer power behind the blow sent it flying, and it hit the wall. Pieces of sheetrock flew across the room, dislodged from the wall by the impact. The Horse fell onto the floor and got up, and if it had a face to make expressions with, it would certainly be much easier to tell that it was angry. It turned its back to Ragnar and tried to buck him, but it was a sluggish motion that was easily dodged. Ragnar swung his axe at the Horse's legs to try and cut them off, but it made them incorporeal for a split second--long enough for Ragnar to stumble and fall onto his face. He got up just before the Headless Horse bucked again, this time with much more grace. The attack hit Ragnar square in the chest, and he stumbled backwards a few steps. He recovered as quickly as he could and retook his battle stance.
"Now ye've done it," Ragnar said menacingly.
The Headless Horse didn't respond with words, of course. Instead, it turned towards him and pawed the ground, preparing to charge again. Ragnar didn't give it a chance--he ran forth and swung his axe in a wide arc towards his enemy. It didn't have a chance to dodge before the axe dug through its flesh like a hot knife through butter. It reared up on its back legs and brought them down forcefully onto Ragnar's helmet. Ragnar flinched, but the attack didn't hurt nearly as badly as he thought it would. He took the opportunity to swing his axe upward towards the Headless Horse's exposed stomach, but it responded by making the targeted area incorporeal, and Ragnar's strike went right through it. The Horse backed up and tried to trample Ragnar while he was down, but he recovered quickly enough for the attack to miss. As the target ran by him, he swung at its stomach again. This time, he caught it just before it could respond, sending it skidding towards the opposite side of the room. It wasted no time in charging again, and this time, Ragnar couldn't hold his ground. It slammed him into the wall, taking part of it off again. Ragnar could feel himself slowing down, and the beast had only been made angrier. It seemed as though he had bloodied it with that last attack.
"I've got ye on the ropes, monster!" Ragnar yelled as he swung his axe again. His position was a bit awkward due to the Horse's body being right up against him, but he still managed to hit it surprisingly hard. It stumbled, only barely standing now. Ragnar decided to put it out of its misery...but before he could, it reared up on its back legs again and slammed them down on the floor. A mass of black energy snaked out from the ground and headed straight for Ragnar. He tried to dodge, but he was nowhere near fast enough to avoid the attack. It slammed him into the wall again, and he could feel himself losing consciousness. The Headless Horse walked towards him slowly as he was recovering. It stood directly in front of him and raised its left foreleg, preparing to finish the job...just as Ragnar found his strength once more. He swung his axe upwards, cutting deep into the monster's flesh. It let out a horrific wail as the axe continued to slice through it. Just as the axe would've gone completely through it, it disappeared in a puff of smoke, its wail reverberating through the area. Only when it was completely gone did Ragnar allow himself to relax.
A feeling overtook Ragnar that he couldn't describe. It was as if there was a glow of warmth inside him. He stood up, feeling his power grow even in his weariness. He put his axe back where it belonged and stood up tall, pride and relief threatening to overflow in his spirit.
"Level two," Ragnar said to himself. "Never woulda guessed this is how it would happen."
