I'm sorry I didn't see you last chapter of your story, I have been busy with final exams
If your next chapter is ready, I would like to see it. As a matter of fact, if you have a good portion of the chapters typed, why don't you just send them all to me? This way I can read and help you where I help best, and that is plot. I can help you decide if things line up, and if your audience will like what you made
Never thought Fluttershy would agree to let herself be eaten. I would've honestly expected her to protest.
I can not see Rarity or Applejack agreeing at all. There's no way either of them would find anything remotely interesting about it.
Keep writing you have a great idea here. Good job.
I'm sorry I didn't see you last chapter of your story, I have been busy with final exams
If your next chapter is ready, I would like to see it. As a matter of fact, if you have a good portion of the chapters typed, why don't you just send them all to me? This way I can read and help you where I help best, and that is plot. I can help you decide if things line up, and if your audience will like what you made