Chapter four: Encounter
Coal struggled with his unbending leg, but managed to limp through the corridor into the main hall after he was finally able to convince the suspicious nurse that he was under shock and therefore unsure of his memories when she asked about the origin of his injury. He stopped to rest in the hall's entrance, and started looking around for a deep blue mane.
Silver was standing not far from Coal, in the companion of two unfamiliar stallions. When his eyes met Coal's he excused himself and trotted to the earth pony.
“Wow, they discharged you already? They are getting better and better at medicine, aren't they?”
“Actually, I insisted on letting me go. I can't stay in bed for almost a week.”
“You seem very eager to continue your little quest. So your leg is good enough?”
Coal gave the limb a shake. “It's not that bad, the nurse did something with the nerves and gave me some painkillers. Getting around is a bit uncomfortable and when the drug's effect wears of it will be a little painful, but I think I can manage it.”
Silver looked a bit dubious, but shrugged with a hoof. “Well, it's your body... Anyway, if you feel like it, we can go and check out that shop here. I just talk a second more to those gentlecolts there and I'm free for the day. Sadly, I can't remember exactly what the name of the store was or where it was exactly, but I hope you won't have to walk too much with that leg... Ahem... Coal?”
He saw her from the corner of his eye, but his talent tingled at once. It rarely picked out living beings, but when the grey pegasus trotted out from the corridor and through the hall she instantly assumed his attention. In the next moment, she was out of the door, spread her wings and took off.
Coal blinked several times as he looked at the door. That mare was somehow relevant to the subject Coal was after, or she might know something that interested him. Perhaps she knew about the necklace? He obviously couldn't follow her to the sky, but maybe some of the nurses knew her. It was worth a try.
“Just a moment,” he said do Silver who merely raised an eyebrow, and limped to the counter. The mare behind the desk looked up from whatever she was doing and smiled at Coal.
“Hello there. How can I help you?”
“Hi, uhm... can you please tell me who was that mare who just passed here? She had a grey coat with a solid pink mane.”
The nurse looked slightly surprised, as she thought for a moment. “A grey and pink mare who just passed here? I haven't seen anyone, but that's a familiar description... Was she a pegasus by any chance?”
“Yes, she was.”
“Then I think I can. I'm not sure of her name, but I we see her here quite often. She helps us occasionally with injured fellas.” She narrowed her eyes. “May I ask why you’re after her? Has she done something wrong?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. I just... She was just very familiar, and I just wanted to make sure I wasn't mistaken. She could help me with something.”
“Well, if you really want to meet her, I suggest go the zoo.”
“This chariot station has a zoo?”
She giggled. “You aren't familiar here, are you? The zoo is where the livestock and other animals are kept until they continue their trip. It's a group of houses at the north edge of the station and it has an official name which I can't remember, but the folks here just call it the zoo. This mare you are chasing has her way with animals, and she likes to help the merchants dealing with them.” She put a hoof to her chin. ”She's a bit creepy, though. It's like they understand... oh, excuse me...”
She hopped down from the chair and hurried to a group of excited ponies who were standing in the corridor, forming a circle around something invisible to Coal. He didn't follow her. He didn't have a name, but had a location, description and profession to start. After he and Silver finished with the shops, their next stop will be that “zoo”.
Coal waited a few second as Silver parted with the ponies, then walked up to him.
“So? Did you get her name?” Silver asked.
“No, but now I know where she...” Coal trailed off as he saw the grin on the unicorn's face. “Wait, it's not like that. I just wanted to know who she is so I can talk to her. She might be important or know something that can help me.”
Silver nodded knowingly. “Yeah, it tends to start like that. She helps you, you help her, you share some quality time together and then it's all smiles and giggles.”
Coal shook his head but had to suppress a smile. “Indeed... Err, do you know where the zoo is?”
“Of course. That's where she works?”
“According to the nurse I talked to, yes.”
“Should we go to there before the shops, then?”
“No, I think she is rather busy at this hour. We should go and check out those stores you mentioned.”
Silver nodded. “All right.” After a short hesitation, he continued. “You know, you kinda got me interested in this necklace business, I'm curious what we could dig up. If it turns out to be some ancient, magical treasures hidden in random places, I guess you will have to endure my presence a little longer than I previously intended.”
Coal chuckled. “Be my guest. I don't turn down good help when it's free.” He paused as the sentence reminded him of something. “Oh, yes. I forgot to pay for your trip to Ponyville.”
Silver waved it off. “Whenever you can, it's not that urgent. But if our little adventure turns out to be something big and exciting and you let me join you and get half of the adventure and half of the price at the end, I generously abdicate it.”
“Deal.” Coal touched hooves with Silver playfully, but deep down he was glad that he had his companion's desire to help him, despite knowing the unicorn only for a day.
* * *
They walked through the chariot station's dirt streets to a small shop. Coal just now realized the name “station” was a misleading one: town or village would have been more descriptive. The streets were dirt and there was no sign of strict order in the placement of the buildings, but it did have a countryside-town feeling to it. Ponies hurried after their business, mares exchanged gossips with each other and Coal even saw some foals, playing and running around cheerfully. The usual one would expect.
They walked past several stables, chariot garages, food stores and even family houses before they reached the shop Silver wanted to visit first. It was a fairly small building with big shop windows, filled with every kind of object imaginable from books to daggers and jewelry. None of them resembled their necklace, though.
The unicorn entered the shop first. A small bell indicated their presence to the salespony behind the counter, who looked up from his book.
“Good afternoon, and welcome to Fair Trade's shop!” The earth pony said cheerfully. “Take your time looking around, or ask me if I have that particular item you seek, which is a great possibility.”
Silver smiled back at him. “Thank you. We're looking for something specific... Err” He opened the saddlebag on his back and began to search through it.
The salespony nodded. “I'm glad you are, otherwise your presence here would be rather curious.”
Coal cocked an eyebrow, but Silver waved a hoof while still searching in the bag and answered. “We want to ask if you have a golden necklace with a big gem in it.”
The pony thought for a moment. “I do have many jewels, but I'm afraid I need more detail. How big is this necklace? What kind of gem does it have? Is it plain gold or...”
Silver finally found the necklace in question and held it in midair.
The salespony's face brightened. “Ohh, I see. You are after the Harmonial Collection, aren't you? Exquisite taste. I'm afraid I can't provide you every part of it, but I do believe I have at least one of them here. Just a minute...”
He left the counter and started looking through the sop's shelves. Silver shot Coal a reassuring look. They waited as the salespony trotted back to the counter with a small, wooden box on his back. He sat it down on the desk and with a dramatic expression, he opened it.
Coal's eyes went wide. The necklace in the box was just like theirs, except it had a rectangular blue gem instead of a pink butterfly. However, something was missing. Silver hummed and then levitated the jewel out of the box.
“Is it what you were talking about?” Coal asked. The unicorn didn't answer.
“So, do you like it?" the salespony said. "If you work at the station, I can generously give you a discount.”
Silver shook his head. “No.”
“What do you mean?” Coal asked. “What's wrong with it?”
He was suspicious about the necklace because his talent didn't give a signal, but he still hoped they found the real thing.
The salepony looked worried for a second, but kept his smile up. “I can assure you, this is one hundred percent original artifact straight from Canterlot, just like yours.” He pointed at the butterfly.
“It's a fake.” Silver seated the necklace back in the box and looked at Coal. “I'm sorry, but this is definitely a fake. Looks like I was mistaken.”
Coal expected this answer, but was disappointed nevertheless. “I was afraid you'd say that. But how can you tell for sure?”
“I can feel it with my horn, and it has no magic in it whatsoever. It looks legit, but it's not what we are after. Maybe in the next shop we'll be luckier.”
The salespony looked desperate to save the deal. “Listen, I don't know whether you are an expert or not but I can assure you, this is an original. I usually don't show it to every soul who wanders around my shop, but when someone trots in here with another Element, I see that they have good taste in historical artifacts and also are able to afford such hobby, therefore I take this is-”
Coal held up a hoof. “Wait a second. You said element? What element?”
The stallion looked at him with worry in his eyes. “The... An element of the collection! You see, it's a series of six similar necklaces as you probably already know, made by, if you can give credit to the tales, Princess Celestia herself and then worn by six heroes who saved Equestria from certain destruction on several occasions.”
Coal's mind was fixated on the word. There was something about it, something familiar and promising. He had felt his talent tingle when the pony said the word, though failtly.
“It's a part of a matching set,” Coal said, “not an element of one. I can tell there is something about that word that made you say it and don't want to tell us.” Silver looked a bit surprised, but didn't interrupt.
The salespony was patting the counter. “I... I heard a tale from some customers about the elements of... something some weeks ago. It was an interesting story and didn't leave my mind for days, but I didn't give much credit for it. I have never heard about it before or since that day, so I suppose it's another legend among travelers and merchants. Like that one, you know, about the souls of the dead ponies haunting the village where they were killed by the magic explosion, or timberwolves living in the forests near them, just like that one not far from here.”
Coal smiled. “I don't know about haunting souls, but what if I told you something about timberwoves, based on personal experience?” He held up his bandaged leg. “We were attacked by a real-life one just today. Our cart pony was killed and it almost bit my leg off. Maybe I'm willing to believe those tales about your Elements.”
* * *
Footsteps. It was that time of the day again, apparently, but it wasn't completely bad news. She was hungry and thirsty, and wanted something to distract her mind from constantly bringing up images from her past. They were both positive and negative, but in this dark, cold and dry cave every kind of memory seemed sad. Her mind locked itself in a vicious circle of memories about fun times with her friends, her home's comfort, the excitement of learning about new subjects, her mentor's kind words, her adventures with her best friends...
She heard the lock's noise and glanced at that direction. She saw two of them coming, one carrying something. The sound of a metal bowl hitting the ground startled her. The noise of flowing water made her ears peak up and she crawled closer to drink, but something stopped her before she could reach the bowl.
“We're going further this time,” said the guard who grabbed her. “You're getting water and food before we start.”
She lowered her head to reach the water, but was yanked back again. “You won't want to try and run away. You'd just get lost and die anyway. Whatever water you might find in ponds or lakes, stay away from it. Don't try to drink from any water you find. Understand?”
She nodded several times to reassure them and get her meal.
“Good.” The force disappeared and she drained the bowl and swallowed the pile of flowers and that strange brown thing. After she finished she was yanked to her hooves and they all walked out the door of the cellar.
This time they didn't follow the usual route and went through a long, unfamiliar tunnel instead. The water and the movement made her mind turn faster, and she recalled the warnings. They were unusual. They haven't really talked to her for... a really long time, with the exceptions of quick orders. And what was that part about not trying to escape? Was that part of the tunnel system not guarded? She felt a wave of hope, but quickly calmed herself down. She wasn't strong enough to be able to escape, neither with stealth nor with force. They also mentioned ponds and water. Water was refreshing, but she wasn't allowed to drink. Well... If it was poisonous, it could be a way to leave this place, couldn't it? She stopped the chains of those thoughts quickly. She wouldn't kill herself. She was braver than that, she had to be. Either that or she was too afraid even to try. There was something else about water that they didn't mention, but it did matter to her: she definitely didn't want to see the reflection of herself, didn't want to realize... Leave that ugly sight to these grey and brutal dog-like creatures. They threw her into this state, after all.
The tunnel after a sharp left turn ended. She noticed the sudden lack of walls and looked up.
Her eyes widened at the sight of the immense, circular cave before her. It was a giant in diameter and had a high domed ceiling. The floor was dominated by a black surface of a circular pond of undisturbed water. A grey stone ring of even ground ran around separating the water from the wall, a few steps wide, slightly higher than the water's level. Long cracks ran through the stone of the ceiling and the walls, often ending in niches where rocks had fallen out of them. Evenly placed torches around the perimeter illuminated the area, giving an eerie feeling to the place.
“Go!” Her guard finished murmuring with the guard standing beside the entrance, and two more dogs accompanied them as they continued walking at the right side of the lake. The dim torchlight didn't penetrate the surface enough to see below it, but this had to be that perilous pond she was warned about. They soon entered another, dark tunnel leading away from the lake. She was ordered to start her spell and they got to work.
Hours have passed. The bag of gems and small crystals grew bigger. Her horn was numb and her legs were aching. The mechanical repetition of her task allowed her mind to function almost without conscious thoughts, following the same pattern over and over: search, find, point, drink. This area was richer than the previous ones and she only got water at every third findings, but after several cycles, she wasn't thirsty anymore.
She realized she was staring at her bowl of water without the trace of thirst. It was a pleasant sensation, feeling full. She hasn't felt such thing for a long time. The dogs found their current gem in the wall and were murmuring among each other again, which left her additional time to rest. There was no one digging near them, and the water in the bowl was still as a mirror. The flames of a torch held by one of them could be seen in the surface. Curiosity grew inside her and she started to crawl closer and lift her head.
She shut her eyes and retracted before seeing anything. She gazed into the torch's flames instead, and willed the temptation to fade.
Her guards seemed to reach an agreement. One of them walked closer to her.
“Drink that, and get going. Our next goal is a little further away.”
She looked at the dog and shook her head. He raised an eyebrow.
“You aren't thirsty? Fine.” He grabbed the bowl and poured the water on the ground. She winced at the sight of the waste, but stood up anyway.
They walked several hundred meters. Small portions of the wall and the ceiling were collapsed on the floor in several places just like in the cave, and their number grew as they walked. At one point, she was ordered to cast her spell and find something big. She obeyed and found a target almost immediately, deep in the rock. Very deep.
She looked at the nearest guard and cleared her throat. “It's very far into the ground,” she said in a weak voice, and pointed at the tunnel's wall to indicate the direction.
They got to work without a word. As the new tunnel deepened, she had to occasionally correct the direction. The target was further than she expected.
When one paw left a black hole in the wall the dogs exchanged some excited words and quickly widened the hole and held a torch in the opening. She couldn't see anything in the blackness but the leader jumped in, held his torch up and hurried in the big gem's direction. She was told to do the same.
She stepped inside, and saw a cave similar to the previous one, only it wasn't lit by torches and was in a far worse condition. The lake had more rock than water in it, especially in the middle where she could sense the target, buried in a pile of rocks and dirt forming a two meters tall island. The dogs hurried to it, wading in the shallow water. She did the same. The wet touch of the water felt good, and probably it was only dangerous if drunk.
“Is this it?” one dog asked, and she nodded.
The dogs murmured something again and then started digging into the pile of dirt. She sat down on a dry spot and watched them with slight curiosity, wondering what was that big gem or crystal that was so exciting. After one or two minutes one of them called back at the guard dog beside her, who usually gave her the water bowls.
“Come and look at this. I think we found it.”
The dog quickly filled a bowl before joining the others, and she drank maybe half of the water. Her thirst was gone again, and she wondered what to do with the remaining. She didn't want it to be poured out again. She slowly levitated a small sphere of water to her face, and splashed it against herself. It was cold and refreshing. She sat there eyes closed, water pouring down her muzzle as she washed her face for the first time in months. The dogs and their treasure slipped from her mind. She didn't even notice that the dogs stopped digging and were clearing the object from the dirt. Her bowl eventually got empty. She dragged her forelegs across her face for a last time to dry it some, and opened her eyes.
She was staring right at it. Her eyes went wide, a suppressed cry left her mouth and her legs started unconsciously pushing her backwards. Before her, buried in the dirt was a shiny surface of a giant, flat crystal, facing her. In the light of the torch, she finally saw what she has been trying to avoid.
Her reflection stared back at her with terror in her bloodshot, violet eyes. The trembling pony before her was thin to the bones. Her purple and pink mane hung in oily rags from her head, curling around her horn and ears. A dried stripe of blood was trailing down from her left ear, partially blurred by the water she'd washed herself with. Old and new wounds scattered her face and body, a long one crossing the star of her cutie mark.
From her sides, two strange, extra limbs were stretched out. The sight of her featherless wings made her eyes moist. She has been trying to avoid the realization of her fairly new but now useless and crippled alicorn wings, but now there they were before her, in plain sight.
Twilight Sparkle clenched her eyes shut and curled up on the ground. Between sobs, she could hear the chuckles of the three diamond dogs.
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I'm liking this. Besides some spelling or gramma errors here and there, you've written quite an interesting tale.
Here are the errors I spotted-
Chapter 2:
Should be "ignored"
The phrase is "so much for"
You meant to say "though"
Chapter 3:
Present tense/past tense problem. Better would be, "bigger than any Coal had ever seen."
The comma is unnecessary.
Not the correct punctuation when writing in English. “
Chapter 4:
"locked"
Not technically wrong, but it is simpler to say "the domed high ceiling."
The word "more" is redundant. Remove it.
There might be more. These are just the issues I noticed while reading; I wasn't specifically looking for problems.
I eagerly await the next chapter.
4616621 Thank you for the constructive feedback, spotted errors have been corrected. I'm not sure about "so long for" being wrong here, though. I changed it, but I believe I have seen the phrase in similar context somewhere...
I'm happy I managed to pique your interest. Chapter five is on the way.
I'm confident that "so much for" is more correct, although your readers will understand either way.
It did just occur to me however, that my correction of "domed high ceiling" would be even better still with "high domed ceiling". Not important enough to change, since the meaning is that same either way, but it might be worth thinking about the next time you use similar phrasing. Being pedantic, it might also want a comma between the two adjectives, but again, not an issue worth dragging you away from whatever else you're doing for the minute it would take to change.
Heck, I've probably more blatant errors in my two posts here than that.
moar?
4688609 Moar is under the rather slow process of editing my stuff, but I hope I'll be able to publish it by the end of the week.