Birthday Game Shenanigans

by BulletCat

Clopping

In the halls of Canterlot Castle, a human looked around the hallway. Once he had confirmed that no one was coming, he opened the door on his right and entered. Taking one last look around the hall, he closed the door behind him and made his way to his bed. Smiling to himself he slowly pulled out one of his most prized possessions. Something that had brought him many hours of enjoyment in his time in this new world. Getting exited he set it next to him and began to do things to it to get it ready to use. Just then there was a knock at the door before it swung open to reveal Princess Celestia.

"Davis! I was lookin..." She trailed off looking at the human on the bed. There was nothing out of the ordinary about him. His skin was the same pale white with freckles as it always was. His hair was the same curly ginger color as it had been when they had first met. What made the princess pause for a moment was the small device that rested on his bed.

"Umm, Davis? What is that?" She said pointing towards the strange object.

"A laptop." He responded casually. "Remember those computers that I told you about in my world?" He asked going back to typing on the keyboard. She nodded and walked over to him looking at the screen There was a picture of Davis with a few other humans. Some seemed to be the females of his species. They were apparently on top of a mountain or large hill because of the view that was behind him. A small arrow icon made it's way across the screen and clicked on one of a few symbols on the left side of the screen. Bringing up a white area with more symbols on it that covered the picture behind.

"Well this is basically a smaller version of the large ones that I told you about. It was designed to have less bulk so that it could be carried around by someone." Davis said looking up at the alicorn taking his hands off the keyboard that was connected to the screen at an obtuse angle. "When I arrived here in Equestria, this was one of the few things that I had. But one thing that changed on her was that there seemed to be several new video games installed on here." Looking back at the screen for a moment.

"What is a video game?" The princess asked looking at the strange device in awe.

"Oh, right. I never told you. Basically it's a game that you can play using this device. I was actually getting ready to play one on her I haven't played in a while called CLOP."

Celestia's eyes widened as her cheeks reddened considerably. "Davis!" She admonished sounding incredulous. "I cant believe that you would do something so... inappropriate in front of a princess!"

Davis blushed heavily and his eyes widened to the size of baseballs. "Oh, nonononononono, Princess! Not like that!" He retreated waving his hands in a panicked back and forth motion. "It's a game where you try to move this unicorn forward! Nothing inappropriate at all!"

Celestia sighed as her blush lessened. She was relieved and disappointed at the same time for some reason. The blush that was there now was mostly just there because of embarrassment of assuming what Davis was doing had anything to do with something so risqué.

"May I play with you?" She asked trying to get past the awkwardness.

"Sure! It'd be fun to play with someone for a change." He said clicking on one of the new icons of a rather feral looking unicorn bring up the program.

The program showed a starting screen. Clicking on the start button, Davis was immediately brought to the beginning of the game. There was the picture of a boy seemingly calling out to a unicorn and a picture of said unicorn below that. Both had text boxes that had words written in bad middle English. The boy seemed to be telling the unicorn that there was a virgin on the other side of this hill, and the uicorn seemed to be warning the boy that this had better not be one of his jokes because he hated hills. When Davis tapped on the small pad beneath the keys, the text disappeared and under the unicorn were the letters "k,h,j,l."

"Now here's how you play." Davis said putting his hands over the the keys with the corresponding letters on them.

"Use the "k" and "h" letters to move the front legs." he said tapping them and making the unicorn's front legs move. The horse seemed to drag itself forward as those two were pressed. "And "j and "l" keys to move the back legs." Tapping the other keys made the rear legs move, forcing the unicorn to almost flip onto it's back after a few steps. "Tap them in some semblance of an order to get the unicorn to move." Tapping all four of the keys now the unicorn moved. Not in anyway natural, but it was forward movement.

"That sounds too easy." Celestia noted looking at the awkwardly moving horse with confusion.

"Wait until we get to some obstacles." Davis smirked knowing what pain awaited the two of them. Soon he arrived at some rocks. While obstacles, they were still easy to traverse. Pretty soon though the landscape became more sloped and forward speed as well as balance seem to go down exponentially with each degree of sloping the game provided. Reaching a series of steps, Davis got part way up them before the unicorn started to fall onto his back. Pressing the keys at random and making the legs flail in an attempt to keep the creature upright didn't work and the unicorn fell onto his back. When that happened, a picture of the boy from earlier appeared and text appeared next to him reading "Clip-clop. I heard a four-legged varlot drop."

"Damn." Davis said looking annoyed. "Here." He said turning the computer to face the princess. While she didn't have fingers, she did have magic and the keys glowed in a golden aura. The game popped back into the beginning and she began. Originally thinking that the only reason that Davis seemed to be flailing the legs was because he wasn't sure on how to move four of them, she quickly realized that the reason that he had made it look so awkward was because it was. Unable to make the unicorn move in anything approaching a dignified manner, she quickly gave up as the first of the rocks came into view. Getting the first legs over the rocks seemed to be easy enough, and the rear legs were fine so long as the size of the rock wasn't too big. Eventually reaching the stairs. She move the legs awkwardly, but actually got over the stairs.

"Pretty good Celestia."

Feeling a sense of pride for making it farther than her more experienced counterpart, she soon arrived at a more serious incline. Moving the legs in the same way she had at the stairs didn't work and she soon flipped over. When she had done that the boy and the text appeared at the top of the screen again. This time reading "Fail".

"I do not like this boy." Celestia observed before giving the computer back to the human.

"That's the point." Davis said as the game popped back to the beginning.

"Then why put him in?"

"This is a rage game. A game specifically designed to get you mad at it."

"Why would someone make something like that?"

"It's fun to watch other people struggle to get through these types of games." He said as he traversed the stairs. "That and give you a feeling of accomplishment for doing the slightest thing right."

Feeling that this was rather stupid, Celestia turned her attention back to the game. Davis was now at the part where she had flipped. While he had slightly more luck the results were the same. Flipping over and a taunt from the boy. This time reading "Haw, ye silly ol' horse!" They carried on for about half an hour all the while failing to get very far and the game testing even Celestia's patience. After flipping at the first rock, Celestia's legendary patience wore thin.

"Oh,Come On!" Celestia half shouted at the game. "I made it over that rock every time that I got there but now you do this? And buck you too!" She cried at the aggravating taught of the boy.

"Umm.. You want me to play for a while?" Davis asked, looking slightly worried.

"Would you, please?" Davis took control for the next few attempts not getting much past the stairs. Eventually Celestia calmed down and was able to take control back for a few of the attempts. Even getting farther than Davis had. Beating the game that was trying to make her fail was very satisfying indeed. Eventually though, she reached a rock that had a "V" in them. Thinking nothing of it she approached the obstacle. While she managed to get her front legs over, her back legs got stuck in the little hole. Unable to move the rear legs, she mashed the K and H keys. Eventually there was a cracking sound and the horse dragged itself out of the hole, It's rear legs dragging along the ground and unable to move. A little notification at the top of the screen read: "Lame Horse Mode Unlocked."

"What..?" Celestia asked somewhat disturbed at this.

""Lame Horse Mode". When the rear legs are disabled and you have to drag yourself along with the front legs." Davis explained.

Trying to operate the rear legs confirmed what Davis had said. With no other choice, she bagan to make the unicorn drag himself along. As awkward as it was for Celestia to look at, it actully seemed more stable. Without having to worry about flipping over the rear and being able to just have to get the front legs over a rock made things much easier. As such, she was able to make it rather far up the hill. Even if her pace had slowed to an unbearable crawl. Without the back legs to aid in movement, she was moving at a snails pace. Which would have been fine had it not also made it near impossible to go up any sort of incline.

At this point in the game, most of the ground was now at an incline. And a rather sharp one at that. Eventually she reached a rather large incline and got stuck. No matter how she tried to make it move forward, she couldn't get it to go forward. Only get the digital horse to trot it's front hooves in place.

"This could take a while."

"...and that is how a unicorn horn works."

"Wow. I didn't know that the horn was such a complex blend of bone, spell matrices, and sugar." Turning back to the screen to take a look at their progress as they had been talking, they were disappointed to find that they hadn't moved forward one inch.

"How long have we been talking?" Davis checked his watch.

"About 5 minutes." Celestia groaned. This was taking too long. While discussing things with Davis was rather nice, she would rather say that she had beaten the game. She decided to try taking more deliberate and long steps. Surprisingly it worked! Slowly, the unicorn started to pull himself up the incline. When it reached the top, both Celestia and Davis let out a cheer.

"Yes! I have beaten you game." She was so proud of herself. She had beaten one of the most difficult undertakings of her life. All she had to do was make it back down the hill and she would win. She was in such a race to finish, that she made the unicorn nearly fly over the rocks and up what was surely the last leg before beating the game. She was in such a ruch that she didn't have time to react to the sudden drop off that appeared out of no where. The unicorn tumbled over the edge and onto his back. The same irritating taunt that had greeted Celestia's first attempt popped up at the top of the screen next to the boy. Not that Celestia could see that, as all she could make out was red.

"Wow... That sucks. Celestia?" Davis looked worryingly over at the normally calm and collected solar princess. Her eyes contained an anger that could make entire armies flee in terror, her nostrils flared as she breathed hard and her mane, the once calm ever flowing rainbow, was now what appeared to be pure fire. Needless to say, It scared Davis out of his mind.

"BUCK YOU!" Rang out of Celestia's mouth. The canterlot voice making sure that the voice was heard all the was over in the Badlands. Breathing hard she looked at the device that had caused her so much headache. It now lay on the other side of the bed, thrown by the power of the voice into the dresser on the other side. For some reason still operating just fine. Must have been some sort of protection spell.

"Celestia..?" She swung her head over at the voice. Anger flaring as she heard it. Thankfully for Davis it calmed down when she saw how terrified the human was at the princess's actions.

"I apologize, Davis. My anger got the better of me." Celestia hung her head in shame. She was one of the rulers of Equestria.She should't let a simple game get to her so. Before she could admonish herself, she felt a hand scratch right behind her ear. Forgetting all of her anger and self loathing, she sighed at the wonderful feeling of Davis's scratching.

"It's okay, Celestia. Frankly I get as mad at these games too sometimes." Davis admitted. Getting up and walking back around the bed, picking up the lab top and closing the game. "But I do have other games on here. Some that are more fun and less infuriating." Celestia's curiosity was piqued. She felt slightly drained after her outburst, but felt inclined to see what Davis had in store all the same.

"What else do you have in there?"

"How about this one? The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion."