The JaAm Cycles: Hot Shot and Hugh Jelly

by PresentPerfect

Cool, You're Aftarburnr

Author's Note:

So this one time, my friend dared me to write a Mirage x Starscream slashfic, and I decided to make her regret asking.

Have a "translation".

Starscream was alone in bed.

"Blast," he shouted. (?) "Why can't I stop thinking about that 'Bot?"

There was an explosion in the base, but Starscream only turned onto his side. He sighed.

"What I wouldn't give to be rid of that bastard Mirage!" An Energon tear ran down his face.

"Leave me alone!" he shouted (?) to the night air, then closed his eyes.

"Robots can't sleep."

Meanwhile, on the other side of Cybertron...

"Hey Mirage," called (?) Ironhide, "catch!"

He threw a laser football at Mirage, who caught it.

"Touchdown!" shouted Bumblebee, and he punched Cliffjumper out of the robot football stadium.

"I'm the best at robot American football," said Mirage.

"Now all you need is a sexy cheerleader," said (?) RC, who was an Autobot femmebot.

"Yes." Mirage gazed into the distance. "But not you."

RC flipped him the servo and stamped off.

"Wow," said Ironhide. "She's mad."

"Brewskis on me!" said (?) Sunstreaker, and they all drank robot beer.

But Mirage felt he was missing something, and played by himself on the field. From overhead comes Starscream, in his Cybertron plane mode.

"Transform!" he shouted, even though this isn't anime Transformers. He tansformed.

"Oh!" said Mirage, shocked. "Wow, you're Starscream. What are you doing?"

"I can't keep my optics off you," said (?) Starscream. "I saw you play robot football. I will be your cheerleader."

"Oh gosh," said (???) Mirage. "That is so hot!"

"Kiss me."

"Yes."

They kissed.

"Winners go home and fuck the prom queen," whispered (????) Starscream sexily. "Touch my aft."

"Yes," said Mirage, "but first, we dance."

Then a disco ball came down and thumping bass pumped in from the ceiling. This was the song they danced to:

[Gangnam Style lyrics redacted]

"This is so good," said Starscream happily, "it makes me want to defeat Megatron."

Mirage said, "You have such good ideas." So they did that too.

And that is how Mirage and Starscream got robot married. The end! But wait, there's more?

At the edge of space was an evil robot. His optic spun open, revealing yellow, and a deep voice said, "I... am Orson Welles."

Unicron lives! Stay tuned for the sequel!

Cool, You're Aftarburnr
by RobotsWriteMan

satrscream was all one ins bebd

"blast" he shaniked 'y i canst nopt to stont thibkig abrount bot??"

tehr was effil epxlosion in base butt Stabscrem onli turn opn sidde

him sihged. "waht i wulds not giev tu by rid of athat balsterd Mirjage"and he a crem of enegron run out of faec

"LEVAE MEE ALOMN!!!!12!!" he striped ton the nibht ar theyn clobsd hins ejys

"robots camnt slep"

at meenwhale in otehr sind of Cymbertnron.....

"hye Mirgae" crapt Irumhend "captcha!"

lasr fotbal threw at Mirgage an hem keptched int

"tochdobd!" shot Bubbleeme a&d he punhced Clufjimperr from robot fotbul stadim

i am besd apt robots Amerikshun fatbull "said Migrage"

"now apl yu ned is senxi cherledar" swoop RC who is autombot femmal car robot

"yes' an Migare gayze intom distapce "but nont oyu"

RC give his a the finger (I mean servo lol) and stampked ofl

"wow" sand Iranhode "wow" "she ams madd"

"brooskize onm mee!" clapt Sunmstriker andn theye al habd drunkt te h robot beeres

but Mirgage he is mising of a sobthimng and palys on himslef by filed., onvermhedd flots upv stanscrib does cymbertnon planm mod

"TRANSFORM" he sand even tho this is nopt anime Tranfsormers

he tansfromed

"oh" shocpt Mig "wow yu ar Stamscrint wat u dong

i cantot kept myp opktitks fromf youu," scrapt Strimsong "Ii sawd you pla rombotz foobtall i wel bet uyar chelreader"

"oh gosh" decidb Mishgarg "taht ins sop hot"

"kis smee"

"eyes'

and tyeh did that

"winarz go hoam and fuk th prm quen" lipd Strarscrarrar wtih sexi (toch my aft=

"yes" sombd Midgerag "but frinst, wem dabce..:

then izs dicso blal an thumpis befts was pumpt fron celinig hand this wa robotz dance sonogg:

nalang heyo! a hungy hingy blongy yoja!
a cheapo shit on song and blingy bongy nyoja!
come chop on inner nyoja!
aaaaaaaaa sexi laddy!
(lol srry i dunt spek japaniz)

"this sog ood" happied Starbeans "make me wisht to defat Mengarton"

Margie stabd "u hav so munch gobd indeas" so thepy dind thaht too

abd thapt is hwo Mirgag and Stranspum gept robott marrid

the end bupt waint theirs mroe?

at edg of spac, is lif of evbil ronbot

hins opstik spruk opnnm wifth yelnow eye

indepth vioce "i... am osron wellz"

unicorn, he livbs! stayn tubmd for senquel!!!

Comments

[Akiba]

Beauty.

[Protopony350]

Man, even YOU get to the Unicron storyline before Michael Bay.