Long Talk
Aloe gently sipped his tea and watched Applejack, sitting across the kitchen table from him. The shop had been closed for a while now, so everypony else had gone home. Except for Lotus, who was sneaking around outside the room and listening in, intent on stepping in if things went bad. But only then, as she was quite happy her brother was working up the nerve to talk to the cowpony now.
Unfortunately, the key word was working. He had yet to say a word, and the mare wasn't willing to force the issue either. So instead, the two just sat across from each other, sipping tea and staring. Aloe's throat felt like it was stuck in knots. He'd recited this speech a million times in his head, but now every opening line sounded either stupid, or disappeared from his mind as quickly as it came.
In fact, the more he thought about it, the more certain he was his outburst a few nights before was unwarranted. He was likely the one at fault, getting so easily riled over something like that. She'd probably roll her eyes and think it was stupid. That he was stupid. Not worth her time. Probably tell all her friends and then spread the word to all the ponies in--
His thoughts were interrupted by a gentle hoof on his. “Yah okay? You're getting' awfully pale,” Applejack said with a comforting smile.
“No. Yes. I-I'm fine. I'm sorry, this was stupid. D-Discord was right, I was just... just over reacting. I never should have gotten so mad. I'm sorry to waste your time.”
“Now that's a loada pig swill,” Applejack snapped. “Ah saw how upset an' hurt yah looked after what he gone and done. It can'ta been stupid or a waste ah time if it made yah feel like that. Now come on, ah ain't gonna laugh an' ah don't plan on leavin' until yah go ahead an' get all this out. Yah look ready tah burst, so ah know yah gotta tell somepony. An' trust meh, after bein' friends with...” She paused for a moment. “Well, the lotta 'em, ah know just cause somethin' might seem silly at first, don't mean it is.”
Aloe gulped softly, before nodding. “Okay... it's just... I've never really talked to anypony else about this. Well, other than Lotus, but she was there so she already knows everything. It's just, I don't want you thinking I'm stupid. I know it... it'll sound like a stupid thing to get upset about when you hear it...”
“Ah dun care how silly or stupid it may sound, if it goes an affects yah like this, ain't no such thing as a stupid story. Yah hear?”
“Really?” he asked softly before a quick nod brought a smile to his face. “Well, I ummm... I got a haircut once and it was a really bad experience and it was... kinda scary for me.” Outside the room, Lotus face hoofed.
“Now somethin' tells me there's a bit more to the story than that,” Applejack said with a sigh and roll of her eyes.
“Well, it's kinda long and I don't want to keep you here all night.” Red flooded his cheeks as he realized he did want to keep her here all night, but for different reasons.
“Now just go ahead an' start from the beginnin'.”
He took a deep breath and poked his hooves together. “Well... it... it all started when I was a colt. No, possibly before that. I uhhhh... well. Both me and my sister took after our mother. A lot. Our father didn't really know how to deal with it. He still doesn't, honestly. He has a lot of trouble understanding why a stallion would be more interested in dollies or hair products than who won the recent super cup or which hoofball player scored all the ground smacks.”
She cocked an eyebrow at his bad grasp of the proper terms, but didn't interrupt.
“Before I went to school, he tried to get me more interested in the things he thought boys should be, but it never really worked. It didn't help that I was shaped like a filly, so most ponies didn't even notice. Almost everypony else treated me like a filly, so he was afraid I'd never become the kind of... stallion he thought I should be. That he thought I'd grow up to want to be.”
Applejack's eyes went wide. “He didn't... did he?”
“Didn't... no! He didn't do anything!” Aloe said, waving his hooves frantically. “He was a... decent father! He was just confused, he'd never have hit me or anything like that. He just did what he thought was best. So he devised a way to make sure... everypony knew exactly what I was. Everypony.”
She gulped nervously and tapped her own hooves together.
“He enrolled my sister and I in a private school, complete with gender separated classes. Before then, most ponies my age would hardly have noticed me. But once, well, that... I stopped being the little pink filly, and started become the tiny pink colt. I tended to be... weaker and smaller than my peers. Since we were separated based on gender, I quickly became the easiest target around. I... had trouble making friends, and retreated into myself. When I told our father, he told me I just had to stick up for myself. T-that it would toughen me up.”
Tears began to form around the corners of his eyes before he shook his head. “I... I didn't know how. I'd always had my s-sister at my side. I was outnumbered, much smaller and alone. I tried once, but it was a pathetic attempt, it just made things worse. Our mother said to try ignoring them, so they would move onto easier prey who they would get a rise from. I... I tried that. But there was no easier prey than I. They just tried harder and harder until I'd break. Sometimes it took a week or so, but they just kept doing it, over and over.”
“What about your sister, Lotus? Yah ever go an' talk with her about it? Ah know sometimes it can be hard talkin' like that when you're bullied, but ah've always told Applebloom that yah gotta go tah your family in times like that, if yah can't handle it on your own.”
“There wasn't anything she could do. Besides, she was doing wonderfully. While I was struggling in classes, she was excelling. While most the colts found me easy to torment, the fillies found her to be amazing. We... talked a few times. But she had no control. Aside from trying to talk to the boys.” He shivered. “If I thought I got picked on before, it got twice as bad once I had my sister try to defend me. Our father, however, seemed almost overjoyed. He merely saw it as harmless rough housing between boys. Even called some of them my friends.”
“The pranks were... mostly harmless,” Aloe whispered as more moisture flooded his eyes. “I... I got a few b-bruises. Had a few uniforms damaged, but nothing s-super bad. It wasn't until my t-third year that things got... r-really bad.”
“What happened?” Applejack asked, though watching Aloe fidget in his chair made her feel a little nervous. It reminded her a little of whenever Applebloom got frightened and was working up the courage to tell. She had to resist moving to his side and giving him a cookie and warm milk.
“Well... my sister and I were at that age where everypony had their cutie mark, but us. To be fair, our cutie marks were more with tending to ponies. Not many ponies trust young colts and fillies to give them a hair cut and shampoo, let alone a massage. We tried all manner of things, until we did find ours. It was actually a pretty fun experience that led to it. You see, our mother had...” He paused and shook his head. “No, that is unimportant. I... when I finally did get my cutie mark, I was ecstatic. I didn't think anything could bring me down. I walked through the halls with my head held high. I realize now that was a bad idea.”
“Now that ain't right,” Applejack said with a hmph. “Gettin' a cutie mark is one ah the most important times in any young ponies life. Yah had every right tah be excited. Ah know ah was when ah got mine, an' ah was plum miserable right before.”
“Yeah... my cutie mark was a flower though. They said it was a filly's cutie mark.” He had to blink a few times to stop the tears from coming down, though his voice got low and sad. “Then... then I said it was for shampoo, that it meant I was going to be an amazing stylist one day, that I was going to help ponies. Remove their stress. Maybe a barber. I honestly didn't know what I was going to do, I just knew I wanted to help ponies feel pretty and good about themselves.” He lowered his eyes. “I was so proud, they just did the only thing that came to mind when they couldn't get a rise. They pinned me down and they... they hacked off my mane and tail. They just used a-an old pair of... of...” He choked on the words as his entire body trembled. “S-shears. Cut it down to a d-disgusting stump. I-I screamed, but they were a lot bigger a-and stronger t-than I. I couldn't... I couldn't fight them. By the time the teachers arrived I was hideous.”
Applejack gulped and looked around. “Ummm, Lotus? Yah all here?” The other twin erked, but didn't move. After a few moments of silence, the cowpony got up and moved beside the trembling stallion, unable to resist his quivering any more. “Ah uhhh... Ah don't think that's one lick ah stupid.” She put an arm over his side, giving him a comforting hug. “Yah all were proud an' happy an goin' through what shoulda been one ah the happiest times ah your life. Instead yah got... tormented an' hurt, just cause someponies were bigger an' stronger than yah.”
“So... y-you don't think I-I was stupid for... g-getting so upset?” He tried to suppress the tears, but they refused to be stifled, cascading down his face and ruining his makeup.
“Not at all. Ah tell yah what, somethin' like that happened tah my lil sis, ah'd be seein' red for a week. Ain't no reason anypony should be treated like that.”
He smiled and stared up at her. The tears made her seem blurry, but her scent was majestic. Slightly dirty, but not as in dirt dirt, but living dirt. Like grass and life and... he couldn't explain it. She also smelled like apples, which he guessed wasn't really surprising. He tried blinking away the tears while he stared up into her eyes.
They were a beautiful, soft green. They almost glittered in the kitchen light. His entire body began to tremble and feel warm, for reasons other than pain and humiliation. He finally couldn't hold it back any more, he pushed forward, his lips towards her.
He was stopped by her hoof. “Easy there, sugarcube. Ah know you're all upset an' stuff, don't do anything you'll regret later.” A small hint of pink now flooded her cheeks as she looked away.
“W-what?” he said, his mind struggling to process her words. “Regret?”
She nodded and smiled. “Ah understand, you're all hurtin' now so yah lookin' for somethin' that feels affectionate and comfortin'. Don't go throwin' your body places when you're vulnerable like this, sugar cube. Yah'll jus' end up hurtin' yourself later.”
He stared at her for a moment in disbelief, the knot in his stomach expanding, turning it into a hard mass of discomfort in his gut. He couldn't hold it in, he tried. He choked back the words, but they refused to resist. “I-I've been wanting to throw my body at you for months!” he finally spit out. Sadly, he really wished he could have thought of a better way to say that.
“Ah'm sorry, dear? Yah said all that in Prench again.”
He blinked a few times before chewing on his lips. Finally, they came out, calmer this time. “I... I've been wanting to... to be with you for months. I mean, talk, and... and maybe more and... I just never, I've never had the courage to, and, and I...”
She stared for a few moments before pulling away. She stared at him, mouth hanging, before speaking. “Wait, yah mean yah ain't inta stallions?”
“What?” Aloe asked, unable to think of a proper response to that.
“Ah mean, ah thought yah were a, yah know... intah the rougher sex.”
“What? No no no no no no! No!” He shook his head quickly. “I mean, I will admit I-I have been able to... admire particular specimens in the past, but I've never really considered any, err, relations with them.”
“But yah went an' swooned durin' mah brother's solo durin' them ponytones songs.”
“Darling, EVERYPONY swooned during those numbers. I'm honestly surprised the mere sound of them didn't impregnate a half dozen mares with each line! I had to purchase my sister a number of tests just to make sure she was safe afterwords.”
“But, err, yah always go, an ummm, help mares here too. Ah mean, yah...” Her cheeks turned bright red.
“I help stallions as well. I am a professional, I know how to separate myself and keep a session from getting uncomfortable.” He paused before looking down. “At... at least I did. For... for everypony but you. That's why... I always made sure it was somepony else who... helped you when you were here. I... I didn't wish to...”
She sighed, and reached out to pat his head. “No, ah understand. An' I appreciate the feelin' but... ah'm afraid it won't work out.”
“W-what?”
“Yah all are nice an' all. But well... yah got enough problems. It's one thing for me tah keep this secret, since it ain't no pony else's business. Not tah mention, no pony is gonna ask me if yah really are a mare or a stallion. But... errr...” A light blush creeped into her cheeks. “If err, ah was tah accept these kinda feelin's from yah, ah ain't no good at lyin'. Your secret would come out, and that jus' ain't worth riskin' over a lil ol' crush.”
“But... but I...” Aloe said softly and pulled his hooves up to his chest. “I thought... you might... I... I understand.” He hung his head. “It was just a stupid crush anyway. I'll... I'll move on.” He didn't know why, but he swore this rejection was twisting up his insides even worse than the hair cut had. He knew she was right though. “Y-you're right. But... but if everypony found out?” His voice was filled with hope.
Applejack sighed and gave a nervous smile. “If everypony ever finds out, then sure. Ah'll give it a shot. But don't you go rushin' yourself. You're hurt an' got a long time tah heal.” She paused and reached out to pat his head. “An ah don't blame yah. Ah'd ah thrown jus' as much stuff at Discord after that. Ah don't think there's a thing he could do tah make me forgive bringin' back hurts like that.”
“Okay,” Aloe smiled back at her. “Please... don't tell the others w-why I hate him so. It's... just between us. Please?”
“Of course sugar cube. Yah all feel better?”
“Y-yeah,” he lied. The pain of the hair cut had receded. However, the pain of rejection was echoing in his heart and it was all he could do not to burst into tears. “I-I'm kinda feeling tired. I think I'll turn in early. T-thank you for talking with me.”
“Anytime, jus' let me know if yah ever need another shoulder tah lean on,” she said with a smile before trotting out. Once she was outside the room, she let out a soft sigh of relief before glancing back. She hadn't expected him to develop those kinds of feelings for her. She was just thankful she had that easy excuse to fall back on, she didn't want to hurt him when he was feeling so vulnerable. She certainly didn't feel comfortable being put on the spot like that. She trotted down the stairs and left, a light jingle signaling her exit.
Aloe went straight to Lotus, who was hiding in their room, once the telltale jingling alerted him to Applejack's departure. He sobbed into her shoulder, while she wrapped her hooves around him. “There there, it's okay,” she said in soothing Prench.
“Do... do you think I should?” Aloe asked gently.
“Should what, dear?”
“I know y-you were listening. I'm not dumb,” he said bitterly. “D-do you think I should... t-tell everypony?”
Lotus let out a soft sigh. “I... don't know. That's a lot to ask. You've worked on this secret a long time, and been quite happy with it. I have no idea what the effects of telling could be. Things could be... worse now.” She glanced down at her sobbing brother, wishing she could tell him he could tell everypony and everything would be fine, but she she knew the world didn't work that way. She could only give him the best advice she could think of. “I definitely do not know if you and Applejack would make it, either. So all I can say is... don't tell anypony until you, yourself, are ready. Do not do it just because you're hoping Applejack will love you if you do.”
Aloe sniffled, but nodded. Lotus didn't let him go, gently patting his back as he sobbed against her.
From a nearby mirror, Discord sat on the reflection of the table and chuckled with a wicked grin, his fingers tapping together. “My oh my. Now that's not the kind of advice you give a friend. Whatever happened to honesty?” The grin spread even wider as he grabbed a pear from a reflected picture of a fruitbowl, taking a bite from it. “Everypony said I should apologize, and I think they were right. Poor, wounded Aloe. Tut tut. I know just the way to do it.” He disappeared, leaving the half eaten pieces of fruit dangling in the mirror.
------
As the clock struck midnight across Equestria, and the lands beyond, a thick newspaper appeared on top of every dining room table. Emblazoned across the top read the words 'The Discord Times, 1st edition.'
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Thanks for updating your awesome story so fast! Gonna read your new chapter now!
Okay, I have read through the chapter now, and I wanna say great work again! Personally, I feel sorry for Aloe since well he was different from others and that got him bullied by others, and especially that haircut incident......It makes me sick that people do this kind of things like that.
On top of that, he got rejected by Applejack and worse of all, his secret's gonna come out! Oh Discord, what have you done??????
P.S: I'm a bit confused now, so you're basically saying that Aloe had suffered from terrible haircuts from colts at his age AND from Discord as well? Wow, that sucks......
4415861 I've had the first. Not so much the second. :)
4416387 Ayes. I figured Applejack had enough masculinity for both of them. Though she still has her feminine side.
4418797 Pretty nasty one.
4419773 Yeah, having been on the receiving end of bullying, I can tell you that what they say works, doesn't always. And now that it's not spoilerific, yes. Discord gave him a haircut. Thing about being more or less omniscient, you know just how to wreck a pony with as little effort as possible. How to bring all those scars right back to the surface.
Wow! I love this story!
Also, thanks for updating it so fast. Everyday there's been a new chapter!
Welp, i'm hooked so badly, it hurts. I love this story, i love your take on the Spa Twins and the fact your Discord is as much of a douche as ever.
is bound to be... interesting shall we say?
*reads*
Dammit Discord! That's not how you help!!
I'm fact it's the exact opposite!
You know, It's been at least three years since I first read this story in full and enjoyed it. For some reason, I started thinking about it again this past weekend and decided to revisit it a bit. The memories of how this story has both moved me and helped me personally came back; especially how to feel more comfortable about presenting my femininity—as someone who was Assigned Male at Birth—and eventually accept my own Non-Binary Gender Identity. I'm even realizing now how I relate so much more to Aloe here than I thought—especially with what you explored in this chapter.
Since starting my gender transition, one of the things I looked forward to the most was finally being able to grow my hair out. It was something that I always wanted to do since I was little, but was always coerced into cutting it short. Now that it has finally gotten so long, and I feel so euphoric with it draping past my shoulder blades, I fear more than ever of losing it. My biggest fear is that I would get it forcibly shaved like poor Aloe here and end up going back to looking like the hideous and depressed boy everybody thought I was.
What people don't understand is that when you mess with someone's feminine image and try to make them look like someone they're not, you both take dominance over them and strip away their freedom to feel beautiful, comfortable, and powerful. Every time I even skim this chapter I just want to cry for Aloe and give him the biggest hug I've ever given anybody.
I just wanted to say that I loved what you did with this story, and how you wrote femininity as a positive trait to be celebrated in all genders, instead of a weakness, or something to point at and ridicule. Three years ago, I was so afraid to be myself full time, but I feel like this story has inspired me to have the bravery to be the person I am today. I feel like revisiting this tale has reminded me to not be afraid of showing people who I am. I know I should have written this comment years ago, and I don't know if you still plan on writing that sequel, Maskinos (which I would really love to see; I just don't feel like all loose ends were really tied by the finale), but I wanted to extend a very delayed thank you for writing this. It's very hard to find authors who actually respect diversity and show how human (Or pony, rather) characters like Aloe really are. Bless you.
8881724
Honestly? As someone who herself is transgender and had always leaned on the female spectrum(My BF says I was always a girl. Even when I was a boy, he doubted I was anything but a girl. XD and Looking back, I wonder how I missed it?) This really hit me in the feels. I am so, so happy I could be that for you and make you feel so good and wonderful. Aloe was... definitely something special when I wrote her. Originally it was just a story, but it became this wonderful way for me to get so much emotion out and I am so thankful it had such an impact on you.