• Published 17th May 2014
  • 2,005 Views, 63 Comments

Back to school for Lulu! - Evilhumour

Following the events of a simple test from the bureaucracy of Equestria, Luna has decided to take this chance to learn what she has missed during her thousand years absence. Will she pass this time around? Will she be fail kindergarten?

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Chapter four

Author's Note:

Special thanks to Foals Errand for helping me finishing writing this and Kudzuhaiku acting as proof reader. I hope it was worth the wait.

It was a mostly pleasant, peaceful afternoon across Equestria. There was little trouble here and there, save Ponyville of course. Being the home to the Elements of Harmony, the current domain of Pinkie Pie, located next to Everfree Forest and the birthplace of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, it meant that trouble was attracted to the village like a dragon was to a large gem that was only a few steps away from them. Twilight Sparkle had only been living there for a few weeks and was slowly coming to terms from all the weird stuff, but this one took the-


Jumping, Twilight looked at her new friend, the unpredictable party pony, finishing her thought for her with a big grin on her face. “Pi-Pinkie –how did you?”

“Twilight dear, did you see the news?” The rest of her new friends were walking into her library, with Rarity’s eyes reading several newspapers with a grin that could easily belong to Rainbow Dash.

“Twi-light! Are you ready yet?” A very familiar voice called out to her.

Twilight looked down at the impatient dragon and frowned. “Well no, not really I mean how can I be ready?” She levitated the letter that had arrived earlier that day to read it once more. It was just so…

Dearest Twilight Sparkle,

I am not certain if you are aware yet but the bureaucracy of Equestria have uncovered a little known law which I foolishly-

There was a number of scratched out words, showing that the princess was trying to figure out the best way to say this.

-passed centuries ago. It states that anypony that wishes to have an official leadership role was required to pass a simple test. My dear little sister Princess Luna was given a history exam which she spectacularly failed. Do not ask what score she recieved my faithful student as it would only give you a headache. Due to a follow up law and some legal technicalities, Luna is required to pass the equivalent levels of the education system from the bottom up. As it would only cause problems for her to attend classes here in Canterlot what with the paparazzi and nobles, I am sending her along with my Captain of the Royal Guards to stay with her so that she may attend her studies in relative security and secrecy. They will be arriving on this evening’s train. If you can please give them some place to rest as the house they will be staying in still needs some final work, it would be greatly appreciated.

Princess Celestia

Twilight passed the note around to let her friends read it, hoofing it over to Applejack first, who read it silently with a stifled snort as she reached the foolishly part, who passed it onto Fluttershy.

“I mean, we’re going to have Princess Luna here and what if I do something wrong that angers her, or what if I don’t have enough sheets and Igetbanishedtothemoonand-”

“Relax egghead,” Rainbow Dash gave a snort, having finished letter that Fluttershy passed her and gave it over to Pinkie Pie to read. “I’m pretty sure any bed you get her will be awesome!”

“Ye-yes, I’m sure she will just love anything you give her… I think…” Fluttershy said meekly, looking at the floor.

“Yes darling, it will be fine as we’ll be there for you.” Rarity said with soft smile, placing her newspaper on the coffee table. “And I don’t hear you agonizing over this Royal Captain fellow.”

“Well, he’s my BBBFF.” She rolled her eyes, instantly calming down. “I’m not that worried about Shiny.”

“BBBFF? Shiny?” Rarity’s eyes seemed to grow now, with confusion matched by the other mares in the room.

“Best Big Brother Friend Forever.” She blushed a bit, surprised that she hadn’t told her friends about Shining yet. “Er that’s right I haven’t mentioned that I have a older brother… have I?” She was met with head shakes. “Sorry about that!” She rubbed the back of her head, looking at the floor.

“It’s ok dear.” Rarity hugged her, smiling. “I mean look at our dear friend Dash here. I’ve never gotten her to talk about her family.”

“Hey!” The multi hued mare called out in protest at this slight, only to be rebuked by her oldest friend.

“It is true Dash.” Fluttershy muttered softly, looking at the other pegasus. “I mean, you never invited me your home when we were fillies.” She meeped and quickly apologized to the grumbling mare while hiding behind her mane.

“It’s complicated...” She groaned out, not caring to deal with this now. It would be totally uncool to get into that mess.

“It’s ok sugarcube.” Applejack said as they began to sit down at the table, with Twilight’s eyes glancing over the newspaper. “If ya don’t want to talk about it, ya don’t have ta.” She looked at fastest pegasus she knew who was trying not to grumble louder. “But we do wanna help ya.”

With a long built up sigh, Rainbow Dash looked at her friends. She built herself up for this, ready to tell them the truth. “Well, you see-”

WHAT?!” Twilight shouted, startling every mare and drake in the room. “He’s seeing somepony and didn’t tell me!?” The paper in her hooves was shredded by her magic as she began to hyperventilate, pacing around her library looking for something.

The mares and the young drake winced at this, knowing a certain stallion was in big trouble now.

Although one mare was happy that she didn’t need to tell her friends about that and gave a silent thanks to this Shining Armor.


Shining Armor sneezed, as he stared at the door for the umpteenth time. Princess Celestia had warned her that this could happen, that Princess Luna would be very timid and might retreat into herself and that he was not to treat her as a Princess but as his little sister. And if it was Twilight, he would open the door instead of just trying to talk to her through it.

Still, he could not just barge into the bathroom, and Luna was still holding the door knob tight.

“Luna, please let me.” He called out to her again, knocking on the door that already had a groove from his hoof’s pounding. “It is not good for you to be hiding in there.”

“We said nay!” The voice shoot back, strained from trying to sound tough. Shining Armor knew enough from Twily’s own panic attacks to see how terrified the alicorn was. “We art fine!”

“Yet that is why you spent yesterday and most of this morning in the bathroom?” He raised an eyebrow, smirking a bit as he heard her snort, showing he was making some progress with her.

It was an ingenious plan on Princess Celestia’s part, to send them off on a train that was going to every city straight from that horrid press meeting that had sent the princess hiding in the bathroom with a fresh apple red blush on her face. At every station, a pair of ponies under intricate illusions were sent out to confuse the news ponies that were trying to follow the pair. With each station, there were less and less ponies waiting for them, believing them to be another fake group and genuinely losing interest. It made Shining Armor smile when he heard the soft muttering from Princess Luna that she would be able to do this in relative privacy. He rubbed his hind leg unconsciously, his rear still feeling sore from leaning against the door the entire day.

“We have Our reasons.”

He gave a loud snort to that. “Luna, I was given orders to make sure you are safe during this trip. That means making sure you are ok.” He paused, breathing inwards. “I do have a little sister as you know.”

“Yes, the Element of Magic. We art well aware of her existence.” Her voice dropped a bit.

“Well, as her big brother, I know when she is not well. I can tell when she desperately needs to talk to somepony.” He gave the knob a tug. Her magic hold was still tight. “If it was about that little outburst,” He give a soft chortle, but he quelled it. “You really shouldn’t-”

“It’s not that.” She was almost whispering now.

“Then what?” He could easily see her as Twilight now, after a horrid day at school of being all alone, the few times that being without anypony as her friend really got to her. “Please, tell me. I want to help you.”

“Why?” Her voice told him she was closing to crying. He wanted to hold his siste- er, help his charge out. It was tearing at his heart to hear her like this.

“Luna, you’re my friend and I hate-”

“Y-you’re still Our friend?” It was a pathetic whimper, and he could feel her magic drop but he didn’t dare open the door.

“Yes, of course!” He wanted to laugh, why would he suddenly not be her friend anymore it didn’t make any sense. He had to know to help her out. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Be-because We broke our oath to thee.” She was sniffling now, only a few steps away from all out crying.

“What oath?” He was barely restraining himself from barging in there, knowing that he had to give Twi- Luna the time and space to talk.

“Our word of silence on thou engagement with Mi Am- Cadance.” She gave a loud sniffle that told him she was about to break. “We betrayed thou trust. We broke Our loyalty with thee, Our words becoming dishonest with thee, and- and…” She was teetering on the edge now.

Buck it. He was going in. Princess Celestia had told him to watch out for certain words; anything pertaining to her old Elements was something he had to watch out for and react immediately to help her.

Opening the door, he spotted the shaking bundle of blue fur, feathers and horn sitting beside the toilet, hiding farthest from the door possible and also making herself seem as small as possible as well. She backed up in fear- no shame, her eyes pointed to the floor, her eyes were glistening with the tears she had shed, which were still flowing down.

Quickly, he scooped her up in his magic and brought her close to him, rubbing her back, helping her to cry out her emotional tensions.

Just like Twilight he thought to himself sadly.

“Luna, look, it’s ok.” He spoke softly, rocking her back and forth, trying to comfort her as best as he could, using what he knew had helped Twilight when she like was this. “It was just a slip of the tongue. I know you didn’t mean anything bad by it.”

“B- but-” She gulped, trying to say something, but Shining Armor just silenced her, by making the same soothing sounds that Tia would do for her so long ago when they were young.

“All you did was make them aware I was dating somepony.” He chuckled softly, rubbing her withers a little less as she began to calm down.

“But We said engaged…” He blinked and looked down at the confused mare in his arms.

“Oh.” He blushed, realizing what she had meant by engaged, then started to laugh. “Luna, everypony, your sister included, believed you meant I was only seeing somepony, not actually engaged engaged!” He laughed a bit more, gently letting her go slowly. “And besides, what sort of friend would I be if I hated you for something as silly as that?” He smiled at the alicorn who moved around to face him, her tears were now gone and she was just sitting in front of him with her head still tilted to the floor. He reached out and lifted her head up so she could see the truth in his eyes. “I mean-” He blinked, the words dying in his mouth as he saw new tears in her eyes.

“We hate this!” she screamed, slamming a hoof onto the tiled floor.

“H- hate what?” he blinked, trying to see what was wrong now.

“This! Everything!” she sobbed now, waving a hoof and wings wide. “All this time We thought We lost a gallant friend due to a careless mistake and it was for naught! A thousand years ago and We would have known exactly what meant what and what actions that could be done to fix Our mistakes!” She was glaring at him now, angry at him, angry at herself, angry at everything! “Now, in this new world, We know nothing! All of Our notions art gone! All of Our ways of acting art gone! All We ever had, save Our sister, is gone!” She jabbed a hoof into his barrel. “All of Our friends We ever had art-are dead.” She whimpered, the steam suddenly gone from her. “W- I am alone in this world, and it’s not fair.” She leaned against him, sobbing into his coat heavily.

“It’s not fair,” she whispered, her eyes set shut tight.

“I know,” he whispered back, stroking her mane again, he could feel his heart breaking for her. He could almost feel the weight Luna carried; of the thousand years lost to her, everything that once made sense thrown out the window and into a world where nothing made sense, from a world she nearly destroyed because she desperately wanted some form of attention to a world where she had attention from everypony, not from love but fear of what she might do. She had lost her sister as an equal a thousand years ago and came home to find a mare that was more like a mother to her now, that precious bond changed forever and nearly impossible for either to possibly regain. That bond would forever be tainted by what she done all those years ago, and there was no way for things to be as they once were. It was a miracle that Luna had managed to keep it together for this long, her inner resolve and strength must be beyond measure. Shining Armor was in awe of her hidden might, and was humbled by the size of her broken heart.

“I may not know everything that has happened to you, but I can guess.” He nuzzled her head as a big brother to a little sister. “I agree, it’s not fair at all. But I promise you one thing, Luna. You will find ponies, ponies that are like me, that will come to see you as the wonderful mare you are.” He wrapped his hooves around her again, feeling her do the same. “I am honored to be your friend, Luna.” He hummed softly, singing an old song that he once sang to Twilight when she was a foal.

Luna leaned into the stallion, allowing her tears to slow down before shaking her head. “N- nay, it is we that art honored to have thee as our friend.” She smiled up at him, wiping away her remaining tears with a wing. “We have barely known each other outside of a short while, but already you have proven how grand your heart is and how deep it goes for another.” She took a step back, shaking her head softly, grinning now. “Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is beyond lucky to have thee as her soon-to-be mate.” Her smile grew as she went to hug him, wrapping her wings around him. “I will be honored for the day I can properly call you family Shining Armor.” She laughed, truly laughed for the first time since her return. She might have laughed with her sister but this was true Laughter, something only the former Bearer of Laughter could know. It was cleansing, healing Laughter that wiped away all the doubt and sadness that life might throw at them and made the next day a joyous event instead of a painful experience that a pony might be driven to see that they never see the sun rise again, or cause harm to other ponies that seem too at ease with their situation.

Or cause one mare to let her jealousy turn her into something that drove away all the joy from the only pony she ever truly loved beyond all measure.

It was always thought to be the odd Element out of the six, but few truly knew the power that Laughter had, how essential it was for Harmony to exist.

Laughter was magic.