Cutie Mark Crusader Superheroes

by infernape612

10 - Aftermath

Twilight Sparkle ran around her castle frantically making sure that everything was in order. "Wedge, are all of the books in the library organized properly?"

"For the third time, yes."

"Has the castle been dusted thoroughly?"

"For the sixth time, yes."

"Does my mane look right?"

"Your highness, if you continue to stress yourself out like this, Spike has taught me the proper way to cure said stress and that I should do so immediately if you appear to be having another nervous breakdown."

"Does this cure involve a frying pan?"

"No."

"Phew."

"It involves a bookshelf being brought down upon your head." Wedge was spared a retort by the sound of trumpets blaring. The two made their way outside and were greeted by the sight of the royal chariot. The chariot contained what had to be the strangest trio in all of Equestria. The first one out was a tiny purple dragon, who immediately jumped into Twilight's waiting hooves. The second one out was a being that looked like whatever gods there were got drunk one night and made a creature out of whatever spare parts they could find. He at first distanced himself from the reuniting duo, but Twilight telekinetically drew him into the hug as well.

"Spike... Discord... oh man, did I miss you guys!"

Spike finally ended the group hug. "I'll say! We came running as soon as we heard what happened! I never should have left you! I should have - I should have-"

Discord shook Spike by the shoulders. "Calm down! Hindsight is 20-20. The important part is that only two ponies got seriously injured, discounting the foalnappers, and both of them, if my information is correct, are expected to recover!"

"But those two ponies are two ponies too many." The third being stepped out of the chariot. A beautiful white coat, mystical rainbow mane, and majestic wings and horn all heralded the arrival of Equestria's elder diarch, Her Majesty Princess Celestia. "It's been too long, my faithful student." Twilight nodded, and noticed that Celestia's usual wise, playful smile was replaced by a look of grim seriousness that never heralded anything good. "Come on, Twilight. You too, Master Sergeant Wedge." The two ponies nodded and entered the castle. Spike and Discord exchanged a glance before following. "We have a lot to discuss."

"I'm sorry about the way the whole mess went down... I tried not to let anypony get hurt, but-" Celestia silenced her student with her wing.

"Like Discord said, no lasting harm was done. If anything, it was your lack of resources that allowed the situation to progress to that point in the first place. Namely, the fact that instead of a full retinue of staff, support, and logistics, you had two soldiers. One of which spent the entire incident incapacitated. I aim to fix that problem immediately. I'm formally organizing the Royal Guard Fourth Division, and I need a competent pony to act as its commander. Captain Wedge, I trust you can fulfill this role?"

"It's a great honor, your highness. Thank you."

"You'll be reporting directly to Princess Twilight, as usual. Oh, and tell Biggs that since you need a second in command, he's been promoted to Lieutenant."

"He'll be thrilled, your highness."

"Good. Now, to our main order of business - the ponies responsible for this outrage."

Twilight nodded and produced a preliminary police report. "When the foalnappers were apprehended, they claimed to have been hired by Sterling Silver, a local business magnate. The police are currently questioning him and gathering a case against him."

"Do they have any evidence against Sterling besides the mercenaries' word?"

Twilight thought for a moment. "...No."

Celestia frowned. "Then make sure the police don't discount the possibility that they were lying in order to protect their real client. It wouldn't do to have false charges brought up against an innocent pony."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Celestia nodded. "Our next issue - I understand that they demanded to see a local superhero - the second Mare Do Well?"

"Yes."

"But Mare Do Well never came. Rarity was forced to assault one of her best friends, steal one of the old costumes, and risk her life in order to save the foals." Twilight could not suppress a look of depression. "Do you have any idea why?" Twilight could only shake her head.

Spike interjected, reminding everypony that he and Discord were still there. "Maybe she couldn't do anything because she was one of the hostages? You know, like that one issue of Batpony!"

Twilight scolded, "Spike, this isn't a comic book!" However, Celestia threw a smile Spike's way.

"Regardless, it's a valid theory. You should ask their teacher about it - her name is Cheerilee, right?" Twilight nodded. "Well, that's all the time I have right now - I do have a kingdom to run. Send me a letter if you get any updates, OK?" Twilight nodded again, and Celestia and Discord took their leave. Twilight followed, leaving Spike and Wedge to start cracking jokes about Twilight's OCD. As she left the castle, Twilight ran into Rainbow Dash, who was now sporting a bandage wrapped around her head.

"Hey, Twilight. I wanted to talk with you about... you know." Twilight nodded, and the two began walking. Rainbow Dash updated her on all of the investigation that she and Biggs had accomplished before the incident.

When she was done talking, Twilight mused, "So Mare Do Well is the size of a filly..."

Rainbow Dash nodded. "So now we have to find a pony with dwarfism. You know, like the guy that plays Tyron Landstar on Game of Thrones - what's his name?"

Twilight shrugged - she didn't care for such violent television programs. "Well, that knocks off Cheerilee from the suspect list..."

"Cheerilee?"

"Spike thought that Mare Do Well was taken hostage, and that was why she didn't help."

Rainbow Dash gasped. "But if that's true, then the only ponies among the hostages who were the size of fillies were..." It took a moment for Twilight to catch up, something that was an inversion of what one who knew these two would usually expect.

"Rainbow Dash... are you seriously suggesting that Mare Do Well... is a schoolfilly?!"

"Maybe one, maybe more. Lyra said that Mare Do Well moved so fast, it was like there were three of them, remember? And I thought that meant that there were multiple Mare Do Wells, just like last time."

"But if you're right and Mare Do Well is a filly, then that means we have to look at the evidence again! If she's a filly, then we may very well have overlooked her in the initial investigation! Did any fillies show up in connection to any of the evidence? Somepony you may have ignored the first time?"

Rainbow Dash began to think. "Well, the only fillies I can think of off the top of my head are..."

Nah, unless you've decided to become a superhero behind everypony's backs, you didn't do it. ...You haven't decided to become a superhero behind everypony's backs, have you?

Uh... no. Of course not. That's... that's just dumb. Well, I'ma gonna go play with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo now, seeya later, bye!

"...I thought it was nothing, but Apple Bloom was acting really weird that day..."

...and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle came in two days ago asking for help planning a surprise birthday party for Scootaloo.

The hell? Scoot's birthday isn't for another six months!

...and Friday Apple Bloom and Scootaloo asked me for help possibly buying a pet at some point for Sweetie Belle.

"...She was at both Pinkie's and Fluttershy's on Friday... and she had another crusader with her both times..."

"Rainbow Dash? Are you saying..."

"The Cutie Mark Crusaders."

"Do you really think they'd be that crazy?" Rainbow Dash glared at her friend, who chuckled nervously. "Ask a stupid question, get a death glare..."

---

Applejack and Apple Bloom entered the hospital. After checking in with the receptionist, they headed to Rarity's room first. Sweetie Belle was sitting by Rarity's bed, watching her try to walk with the aid of her magic. When she saw the Apple sisters, she ran out to greet them. "Hi, Apple Bloom! Hi, Applejack! Rarity's recovering a lot faster than the doctors thought!"

Applejack said, "Hello, Sweetie Belle. Or should ah say..." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "...hello, Mare Do Well?"

Sweetie Belle stared at Apple Bloom, who looked at the ground in shame. "Ah cracked... ah'm sorry..."

"...Are you gonna tell my sister?"

"Yes."

"...At least let her hear it from me. I owe her that much." Applejack thought for a moment, and then nodded. Sweetie Belle returned to Rarity's room and closed the door. They watched as the two began talking. When Rarity blanched before sitting on the bed in a stupor, they knew the deed was done. Turning to head for Biggs' room, they saw Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle entering the hallway. The two ran up and greeted the Apple sisters.

Rainbow Dash got straight to the point. "Hi, Applejack. I did more digging, and I think Apple Bloom and the Cutie Mark Crusaders are Mare Do Well." Applejack blanched.

"How long have you known?"

"...Wait, what? How long have you known?"

Apple Bloom promptly jumped between the two, defusing the argument before it could get started. "Ah never told anypony until last night. Ah cracked and told mah family, and Applejack came over here first thing in the mornin' to tell Rarity and Biggs. ...Wait, how do you two know?"

Twilight said, "I may not like to brag, but the fact is that I graduated at the top of my class at Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns, and Rainbow Dash has a bit of an obsession complex with the identity. You had to realize somepony would have figured you out eventually." Apple Bloom nodded as Sweetie Belle came out of her sister's room, doing her best to support Rarity. Applejack picked up her friend's foreleg and slung it over her neck, and the four adults and two fillies made their way to Biggs' room. Scootaloo, seeing them, ran out to greet them.

"Hey, guys!"

Apple Bloom got straight to the point. "They know."

"About what?"

Sweetie Belle simply stated, "About Mare Do Well." Scootaloo's jaw dropped. "Apple Bloom cracked." Scootaloo nodded and, knowing what was to come, let the group into Biggs' room. Biggs had, beyond all belief, dragged himself back into consciousness.

"Hey, everypony... They all thought I wasn't gonna make it, but I was like 'Frigg off, I have a daughter waiting for me!' And then I fought back to life! Hehehe.."

Twilight took the lead. "Hello, Biggs. You want the good news or the bad news?"

Biggs reached over to the bag full of his possessions and pulled out his wallet, from which he pulled out a bit. Biggs proceeded to flip the bit. "...Good news wins. 11-8, bad news, you gotta pick up the pace!"

"Princess Celestia is reorganizing my guard into a full division, and you have been named it's sub-commander and promoted to Lieutenant. Wedge is now a Captain, and you'll be reporting directly to him."

Biggs shouted, "Woohoo! So what's the bad news?"

"Your daughter and her two best friends are Mare Do Well."

"...OK, seriously. What's the bad news?"

Scootaloo stepped forward. "...She's... we're... we're not joking. Me and Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom... we are Mare Do Well. ...Surprise?" She hugged her father. Biggs' jaw dropped, but he returned the embrace.

Once they let go, Applejack spoke. "Well, ah've had a chat with Apple Bloom, and now ah'm gonna ask of you what ah've asked of her. None of y'all are gonna do anything this crazy ever again, you promise?" Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo began to nod, but Apple Bloom cut them off.

"Actually, ah did a lot of thinkin' last night, and ah realized somethin'. Sis, ah'm real sorry... but ah've changed mah mind. Ah ain't done. Not yet."

"...Excuse me?'

"Silver Spoon was tellin' the truth. Those bad guys really did try to kidnap her. Ah know - we know. We stopped them. Ah think one or all of the police ponies are bad guys too, and either way we're the only ones who are willin' to look at Sterlin' Silver as a good guy and can still do somethin' about it." She turned to her friends. "Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, ah know ah have no right to ask this of ya... but ah could really use your help right about now."

Scootaloo piped up, "Do you even need to ask?"

Sweetie Belle added, "We're your friends. We're with you to the end!" The three nodded, and Applejack's eye began to twitch.

"Are... are ya askin' to be grounded for a month?!"

Apple Bloom turned to her sister. "Go ahead and try if it makes you feel any better."

"Why, you little - Are you tryin' to get yourselves killed?!"

"Hold on!" Everypony turned to the speaker - it was Rainbow Dash. "Maybe this isn't any of my business... but when you first decided to create the original Mare Do Well, how did you know you would only be dealing with natural disasters? How did you know you wouldn't have to fight criminals? How did you know the same thing that happened to the crusaders wouldn't have happened to you?!" Applejack recoiled as the realization hit her that she had a point. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but you were just four civilians whose only advantage over Joe Pony was that you were the elements! Apple Bloom... that's no fashion cutie mark, is it?"

Apple Bloom shook her head. "No... it's a superhero cutie mark."

"You didn't have that blatant sticker on your butt telling you that this was your calling."

Applejack spluttered, "...But... ah don't want mah sister to get hurt... She's only a child, for cryin' out loud..."

Apple Bloom gave her sister a hug. "Ah know... but this is somethin' ah gotta do. Ah know you understand." And with that, the three fillies left the room. They had a lot of preparation to do. Rarity turned to Biggs.

"Should I go and say something?"

Biggs sighed. "I think Applejack has said everything we could have said... and I think Scoot and her friends have said everything they needed to say." He turned his head to the door. "I just hope you know what you're doing..."

Comments

[VampDash]

I repeat Biggs' woohoo! Because this chapter was one of the best yet imho.

[infernape612]

You know, it only just hit me that Rainbow Dash and her friends spent the first three chapters completely forgetting that thanks to a well-written friendship letter, Princess Celestia also knows the first Mare Do Well's secret identities.

[the host]

Rarity: Wait a minute. Sweetie Bell? Why do you have a boxing glove as your cootie mark?
Sweetie Bell: Err, repressed emotions?

[Kenshinryuu]

Good chapter. But as a Star Wars nerd I must mention that in one of the X-wing books Wedge, who was the leader of the Rebel Alliance's best X-wing unit Rouge Sqadron, said that if Biggs had survived the Battle of Yavin they'd be reporting to him. So I amuses me to see the opposite happen here. If the frusaders can prove Mr. Silver innocent then and hopefully Silver Spoon will become a nicer filly.

[notapony]

Okay, it seems like you have an interesting idea here and something of a decent plot but you don't really have the characters down. Every single character reads the same way and for some that's a big problem. The way you write Luna and Discord feels significantly OOC from how they would really react. Luna typically has a very stiff and old fashioned way of speaking, while Discord is prone to making light of any situation. I just can't hear John DeLancie as Discord saying "Calm down. Hindsight is 20/20." Discord would be the one hyping up the emotion and the drama. If Discord were to start talking about hindsight he would probably make eyeballs in the back of his head or on his butt (a play on hindsight) or something. Additionally the mane six are a little too stupid to not figure out very early on that the CMC are Mare-do-well. There is plenty of evidence right off the bat to determine that the CMC are behind the new Mare-do-well that is conveniently overlooked until later. They are notorious troublemakers, and Sweetie Bell is known for getting into places she shouldn't be (getting into Rarity's workroom and using her gold silk to make Crusader capes is one example). It's not too much of a stretch to figure out that it was Apple Bloom or one of the other Crusaders who found the costume. They knew that Mare-do-well was small, and they specifically say "filly-sized" and not "foal-sized".

Like I said I think you have a good idea and a decent plot, it's just the actual execution that suffers. Things feel rushed (particularly the cutie mark gaining scenes), characters feel OOC or flat and the main six (particularly Twilight) are idiots for not realizing sooner the true identity of the new mare-do-well. My suggestion is to slow down the story a little bit and focus on the characters. What are they doing in the scene and how are they feeling? For writing the characters, go back and watch some episodes and pay attention to how each character speaks and acts. Watch Discord episodes and Luna episodes and try to hear your words coming from their mouths.

[infernape612]

4604853 Admittedly, I realized early on my characterization was shitty, but I've been mostly having too much fun writing the actual story to care enough. Thanks for the criticism, though!

Also, hasn't Luna been trying to work on the whole "stick up her ass" thing?