Chapter II: Normal Has Crashed And Burned
Chapter II: Normal Has Crashed And Burned.
When I came to, I didn't know what to do. I had a rough idea of what happened but other than that I was clueless, one minute I'm in Newcastle in the middle of the night, next I'm a forest from what I can tell somewhere around noon. "Christ, what the fuck is that smell!" That was one of the first few things I noticed about this forest along with the fact it looks and feels depressing.
I look at my surroundings and figured I was in a small glade which was after further inspection, a crossroad of some sort. I seen three trails leading of in different directions. I found my rucksack and checked to see what wasn't broken, nothing important was broken so I grabbed it and went on one of the three trail hoping it would lead to any town, village or anything. I didn't make it far before I got very tired. So I found a reasonable place to camp until I got going again. But that forest is fucking weird, it's depressing, smells like actually I'm not sure what it smell like but it isn't good and it's cold, very cold so I got a balaclava and a pair of gloves out from my bag and put them on. I have a balaclava for... reasons and I'll leave it at that. Also my ice pick which was tied around my leg back in Newcastle was still there, I have no fucking clue how I didn't notice it at first but after ten minutes walking I did.
But shortly after I had found a place to rest, my resting was rudely interrupted by a loud roar. I held the button on my ice pick to the 'pick' part of it came out hoping what ever had just roared wouldn't know where I was so I could cave the pick into it's skull. That plan was immediately when, if it's got a name I don't know what it is, a very fucked up looking lion came charging at me, but except this lion had, and I shit you not, wings and a scorpion's tale. "You have got to be taking the piss." Fortunately it can still die, rather easy if you ask me, because it stopped moving after I put two bullets into it. I then cautiously moved closer to whatever the fuck it was, and proceeded to put and extra three shot into it's skull to be on the safe side. After confirming the fucker dead I casually went back sleep.
When I woke up it was defiantly night, but it was terrifying because it was completely silent I could here my heartbeat, there was no birds, no nocturnal life, nothing. It was just me, the cold and that god forsaken smell. I checked everything and head on my way down the trail. I didn't talk to myself, which is something I need to get out of the habit of doing when I'm alone because I didn't want to telegraph a presence. I made a lot of progress, to be honest I have no clue how much progress I made because I was still in the forest, seriously how big is this forest? When it became noon again I made up another makeshift camp but I gave this one a fire for warmth and because I needed to cook my last tin of macaroni, I had two in my bag because I packed prepared but not for major fuck-ups like these.
I ate the mac and cheese, has to be Heinz and lied down on the hard ground for another uncomfortable sleep. I was just about to drift off when my phone vibrated to tell my I'm on low battery. I pulled it out of my pocket and examined it, it had a badly cracked screen but I could still tell what was on it, I remembered that I got a text two days earlier after reading it, I instantly regretted disregarding it when I got it. It was a message from my sister saying 'I'm still at the train station, please get here!' that message was sent at 10:35 on June 22nd. After some time I realised what had happened. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night. The bomb that went off, I worked out that if you had one bomb where would you put it? the airport - far too heavily guarded, no where else really important other than the train station, Newcastle only has one so I'll let you do the math.
And this is where normal just left my life entirely, I was walking along the same trail I had been on for the past couple days now feeling quite down for obvious reasons. When I hear voices, not in my head that did happen once, from what I could tell either four to six female voices from maybe 10 to 15 odd metres away.
"Did you here that?" I barely heard one of them ask.
"You seriously need to stop jumping at every noise you here Fluttershy." Said another one. What kind of name of is Fluttershy?
"Rainbow's right, you need to be brave," Yet another one said.
"Okay Twilight," the first voice said. Fluttershy, Rainbow and Twilight? If one jumps at every noise she hears, lets try this. I clasped my hands together and blew between the thumbs to make a owl noise.
I heard the first voice, I'm guessing Fluttershy, squeal a bit.
"It's just and owl sugarcube," another voice said with a southern accent.
"Sounds more like a pigeon to me," the second voice said. OWL! not a wood pigeon, fucking owl.
"Maybe it's..." I said I was going to finish with neither when I appeared out the overgrow but that never happened. I don't know who was more surprised, me or them "What?" the actual fuck?
"Are you?" a small purple unicorn, I'm not fucking joking, finished. I figured her to be Twilight. I also to an educated guess to which one was Rainbow, hence she had a rainbow coloured mane, oh and she has wings. After a five minute gap of silence Twilight decided to break it. "Well since this is going nowhere soon. My name is Twilight Sparkle, what's yours?"
"...Bambi," Well fucking done! out of all the names to pick that you respond to, you pick that one of all of them, you're a fucking genius you know that!
"Well it's nice to meet you Bambi, these are my... friends," Why the pause, "Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie," she said pointing to each individual. She stared at me for a bit before I asked.
"Why are you staring at me?"
"Oh sorry, I was just curious to what you are. Nopony has ever seen something like you before, ever." Did she say noPONY. She muttered something else which I didn't catch but it sounded like "Well you're n..." and then I missed the middle part and ended with "...an,".
"What's that on your face?" Rainbow asked. A bit upfront but it's one way to change the subject She's light blue with a rainbow mane and tail.
"Oh it's a bala-" I was cut off by me, very quickly removing my balaclava and throwing up on the ground in front of me Well that's the last of it, I hope. I had been sick a few time because I think I caught a cold, it was freezing in that place yet I never saw my breath once and that fucking smell doesn't help either.
"Are you okay?" Fluttershy asked. She is yellow with a pink mane and she has wing also I think she's scared of me. I think, not sure, they're called pegasuses or is it pegasi for the plural.
"Not really, I'm freezing my arse off here and that smell is driving me insane."
"What smell?" Are you taking the piss?! how can you not smell that?
"You telling my you can't smell- Wait hold on!" I counted the multicolour, mini horses in front of me. Five, I swear down there were six. "Also it's a balaclava," I said putting it back on making my face warm-er.
"What's the matter darling?" Rarity asked. She is white with a purple mane, she's a unicorn. Now straight away I could tell with her accent we are never going to get on. I hate her already just because of her accent, just goes to show how broken the system I grew up on was.
"There are five of you here. Where the fuck is the other one?" The remaining five look round to she that I was correct.
"Applejack don't!" As soon as I heard that I reached for my gun and went to turn around to find Applejack doing something I wouldn't want her to but I never got the chance because something hit me behind the knees and crippled me to the floor where I banged my head hard and knocked myself out.
...
I woke up to find my self in a complete change of scenery. I was in a warm bed in a very large room Thank god that smell is gone! I looked around some more to find a not so small dark blue horse with both wings and a horn What the fuck does that make her then? Crossbreed? honestly I had no fucking clue. Note I woke up with my glasses wondering how they weren't broken.
I slumped back down into the bed "Not a dream then."
"It's about time you woke up," she said. "Me and my sister were getting very worried."
"How long was I out for?"
"About a week and a half," Fucking hell
"Well now that your awake I need to ask you some questions, is that okay?" she asked.
"Yeah no problems, but me first. Who exactly are you, also what are you?"
"My name is Princess Luna and for the what I'm an Alicorn," Well that explains the crown. And you learn something everyday.
"And now I'm asking the questions. Now I know, from what Twilight told me, that your name is Bambi an-"
"Sorry but I got to stop you there, Bambi isn't actually my real name but that doesn't matter. Please continue." She didn't look overly happy that I stopped her mid-sentence but I didn't care.
"Well I was going to say as you may have noticed bandage on your head. Since no one has ever seen something like you before we don't know what is and isn't normal so we couldn't heal you." I let her finish before I interrupted her again.
"Hold on, back when I had my last conversation with Twilight she said noPONY, you've just said no one-" She cut me off this time.
"I said no one because saying nopony is racist."
"I'm sorry for stopping you again but, I just can't take all... this in." I said gesturing everything.
"What can't you take in?" she asked.
"Just, just everything. Small, talking, multicolour horses, oh and to top it all off some even have wings or horn, or in your case both," I paused for a short while "I'm sorry but can you... leave. I just need some time to myself to figure out just what the fuck is going on."
"I think I know what you mean, so I will leave and instruct you not to be disturbed if that's what you wish although I will return same time tomorrow night. And since we don't know what you eat there will be a food cart along with some of everything along with your clothes and everything else you arrived with. Until we next meet, goodbye" with that she walked towards the door but before she left she turned around and asked "I don't suppose you'll tell me your real name then," I shook my head and the I was alone.
"What the fuck has happened to me?" I asked my self. I sat on the bed for an hour, maybe longer I don't know, just repeating the same seven words every so often. I was interrupted by a knock at the door, which opened anyways without me saying anything. A small beige horse walked, no wings or any of that shit, pushing quite a big food trolley with little bit of everything edible, and a few inedible since I saw some flowers on there, under the kitchen sink on it. The beige horse or pony as they call themselves, I think, left without saying everything. I continued to sit on the bed in silence for what I guessed was half an hour before I walked over to the food trolley where I saw my clothes, which I proceeded to put on, I did put my gloves back into my bag which was also there and I threw the balaclava onto the bed.
On the trolley was a fair amount of meat, breads, flowers for some reason or another, cheeses, eggs and egg related foods and a whole load of other stuff that I wouldn't bother eating, no pasta though. I took an omelette with some bread and a small amount of brie with crackers. Ate the food, which was really nice, and went back to the bed because I was feeling tired and went to sleep. The princess came back the following night asked a few questions, had a short conversation then left. The next three nights went by pretty much the same. although on the second I thought I hit a realisation to why I was so accepting to everything going on, I basically thought I was going insane, which Luna, she doesn't like formalities, did her best to talk me out of the idea which I now think was a bit retarded but that doesn't matter. I also learned a lot about the place I was in: The country is called Equestria, which is run by two sisters Luna and her sister Celestia, me and Celestia did have a talk but so far I don't really like her that much. Alicorns are not crossbreeds and are pretty much extinct because there is no know male Alicorn left alive. Equestria is mainly populated by three types of ponies, they refer themselves to ponies: Earth Ponies, Unicorns and Pegasi which sounds better than pegasuses. I told Luna my name, well just my first name. Also the whole journal idea was Luna's so when ever my life goes to shit, I can look back at the good times I've had, that's counting if that happens.
I got used to the fact that I'm quite frankly stuck in Equestria forever which is what I was told by Celestia just before. It was me and Luna walking down a hallway where Luna learned that I'm not what I seem, she learned that I can kill, she learned my past, my dark past. We were walking down the hallway where simultaneously the ceiling caved in both behind and in front of us leaving a space of for five skilled assassins to get in kill Luna and get out, well that was there plan at least. What they didn't plan on was me and a hand flare with my SIG P226.
"What's going on!" I shouted as soon as the ceiling collapsed. Not like I expected her to know but I still asked.
"I don't kn- My magic, it doesn't work!" Unicorns and Alicorns, because of their horns, can use magic because why the fuck not. It was pitch black but I knew where the flare was so I got it out my bag, which I carry around with me everywhere, and lit it where there was an unsuspecting Pegasus with a dagger in his mouth going straight for Luna. None of the assassins were expecting me to do that so all five of them: three Pegasi and two unicorn were a little shock when their friend got tackled to the ground by me, had the dagger ripped out of his mouth and then me kicking him in the face, he stopped struggling. Then there were four.
"What is that!?" A Pegasus exclaimed pointing at me.
"I don't know or care just kill it and the princess then go!" The other Pegasus shouted. Now I was having none of that so I pulled out my P226 and shot at all four of them. Two were killed because they were standing still another bled out quite quickly and one, a Unicorn was in a lot of pain with a bullet in his foreleg. I slowly walked up to him pointed the gun at his head where Luna stopped me.
"Richard don't!" She screamed. I look over to the Pegasus that I knocked out.
"That one's still breathing," the Unicorn's eyes lit up when he thought I was going to kill him there and then, but I didn't. I aimed a little to the left of his head shot the last round into the rubble next to behind him, my mag hold 10 9mm rounds and I used five for the lion thing and five on those 'skilled' assassins. "But two is better that one." He didn't have time to be relived because I punched him round the side of his head. I looked over to where Luna was standing, fortunately she wasn't harmed. I took a step towards her which she answered by taking one back. "I ain't going to hurt you, hold on." I threw my gun on the ground away from me. Her eyes never left it as it flew through the air. "Better?" She nodded slightly.
"What is that?" She asked keeping her eyes on it.
"It's called a pistol, and a lethal one at that." It probably would take more than one bullet to kill a horse but they're much smaller here so I'm guessing it's easier.
Luna still was in shock. Then again, I just killed three assassins and knocked out another two in the short space of twenty seconds. "How can you just kill them like that? They didn't even get a chance to react, you were too quick. All things considered that is and isn't a good thing."
"They were going to kill both you and me. You heard what he said," I said pointing a Pegasus. "He didn't care who or what I was, just kill me and you then leave. You never would have seen them coming. You would have been dead before you knew what happened. I've just saved both of us because I reacted first. I haven't got a clean history Luna, but I am no murderer."
"You're right, and thank you for saving my life. I owe you."
"No you don't, I don't care what you say you don't owe me at all. If anything, we're even now but let's focus on getting out of here okay?"
"Okay but when we've got out of here, me and you are going to have a talk. My magic is returning so we can move everything, or we can wait until we get freed from the other side because I'm sure people would have heard the ceiling collapse." Half an hour later me and Luna were out and back in the room I have been spending most of my time in.
"So what do you want to know?" I asked. I was sitting on the bed while Luna was on a chair. I don't know why ponies have chair because it doesn't seem... right.
"Everything."
"Okay let's start off with all the bad shit I've done. I've been arrested for assault twice, charges were dropped for one and I had to pay a fine for the other. Rioting, police didn't have enough proof that it was me thanks to my balaclava. Arson, I was in jail for six months because what I did was very bad. And technically, I've raped someone. Keyword was technically," Luna's eyes widened. "She was drunk, I was not, she was quite violent when she's pissed and because I don't want to get sent down again for assault, I didn't retaliate as much. In the end the court recognised I was innocent and I got her done for sexual assault." Luna calmed down a lot after I explained that. "How I reacted like I did and killed them without second thoughts is simple. Back where I came from," I'm still trying to take in everything that's happening, "We were in the middle of World War Three the city I was living in was under constant threat of being attacked. I knew this of course but I stayed nonetheless. Anyways it had been attacked a few times each with relatively the same result, we won. I'm still alive because I've reacted to situations where four or five soldiers come running round the corner and I shoot them dead before they react. That's the same reason me and you are still breathing."
"I've not had a clean past either. Over a thousand years ago." Probably best to mention alicorns are half-immortal, they can't die of old age but I can put a bullet between their eyes and they aren't waking up from that one. Scary that I think like that. "I was corrupted and I attempted to take over Equestria from my sister by shrouding half the world in eternal darkness, which ended up making the other half have constant daylight." Shit that's bad. "After three days I was defeated and sentenced to the moon for a millennia I've only recently returned and many things have changed that I'm still adjusting to. Also I'm not overly popular and someone somewhere wants me dead hence the assassination attempt earlier." Something's off, that sounds... scripted.
"Luna what aren't you telling me, you're not telling me the full story, not in a one-sided way but there is something your not telling me for what? you're not allowed, you don't want to or your too ashamed to."
"I never pried into your history without you willingly telling me, so I would appreciate it if you would do the same." That's reasonable. "Now if you excuse me I wouldn't mind to stay here all night and converse but I do have duties to attend to."
"No problem I'll just wait for the food to arrive, eat it then go to sleep. Until tomorrow." She left. I did as I said I would but instead of going straight to sleep. I sat on the bed looking at my favourite picture of all time. It was a picture of me and my sister on my first holiday, it was a holiday resort in Spain, just outside of Barcelona. Me and my sister were just on the balcony I was eight and she was ten. It was one of the few times we were genuinely happy before it got bad. I still can't believe I never noticed it in my wallet until now. I smiled before going to sleep. That was my first proper week, not counting me being unconscious for one and a half weeks and the three day trekking in that god forsaken forest, and despite everything that has happened things were starting to look up. Not that it lasts long.
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I think this story goes too fast. Not really what I like about storys.
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