Life Is A Game We All Must Play

by Bambi-Fuego

Chapter III: Life Has It's Way Of Annoying Me

Chapter III: Life Has It's Way Of Annoying Me

Two weeks after the assassination attempt I found myself in Princess Celestia's private study. "I give you two rules Bambi," I asked Luna not to tell anyone else my name, "The first was to limit the amount of times you leave your room without the company of me or my sister. And the second I asked you specifically not to leave the palace, which you did, twice. Both rules were justified yet you still decide to break them. Why?"

"I can't stay cooped up in this Palace. I mean, do you really think I can stay here for long?"

"I know but what can I do? If ponies see you that will raise questions. A whole new species nopony has ever seen before. You said it yourself that you don't want ponies to know about you, you don't want that kind of publicity. Now due to recent issues I have been quite busy and if you keep venturing out the palace like you did last night you're going to get seen and I don't want to deal with that and the fact that somepony wants my sister dead. But if you want to get out I do have an idea although you may not like it."

"I'm listening," I said. Anything has to be better than being stuck in here.

"I could turn you into a pony so you can get out into society." Obviously not.

"No. I do appreciate the offer, mind you it could have been worse, but fuck no!"

"I did say you might not like it. But either way the offer still stands but I must leave now, I do have a country to tend to after all. Oh and please try to stay on the palace grounds, not like it will make much difference say it." Celestia muttered the last part.

That night I was thinking over the offer Celestia gave me earlier that day. I had some reasons why it was a bad thing and some for why it a not so bad things. I don't want to become a mini horse, they don't have thumbs which would make life so difficult and I wont know fuck all about being a mini horse, or pony. But having the ability to fly or use magic maybe both if I can push it. Probably not though. Also I don't see how I'm getting out of this place without actually become a pony. So the next day I was in Celestia's study once again.

"So what brings you here again?" There was no doubt she already knew why I was there but she still asked.

"We both know why I'm here so let's just cu to the chase shall we."

"Well it's not an easy spell to change somepony's species but I will be able to pull it off. Do you have an idea of what kind of pony you would want to become?"

"Don't suppose I could become what you are."

"No. I may have considered it but after our first meeting without my sister to make sure you don't do anything stupid, that isn't going to happen." I'd rather not talk about what I did.

"Then I guess I'll become a... Pegasus if anything the wings will be an amazing perk," What's the worse that can happen?

"Okay now please hold still this may hurt, I don't know since I've never actually performed this spell before." Wait What! But before I could say anything her horn lit up and everything went black. When I woke up everything felt fucked up. My eyes were in different place, my ears were much larger, I didn't have any fingers or hands for that matter and I now had two limbs that I've never had before. I attempted to sit myself up but I failed spectacularly. I seen a note next to the bed which read.

'The spell worked, as you might have noticed you're a Pegasus now. Now when I say the spell worked I may or may have not messed up on the wings. You have alicorn wings, which are larger than the wings of normal Pegasi but that isn't overly important, ponies may ask a few questions though. A few other things as well, because I have never performed the spell before you wont be like a normal Pegasus, you will need a larger intake of protein than most ponies do, since you have a more of a predator personality, you may confuse a few ponies in how you react to certain situations because how react wont seen normal eg. fight or flight, you will fight where as most ponies' instinct will tell them to run/fly/teleport (if they're a unicorn). I never understood what your cutie mark means -' I'll pause it there to tell you that a cutie mark is quite retarded. Basically it is a tattoo on your arse, each side, of what your special talent is in life, only for ponies. Like I said, it's a bit retarded. '- but I'm sure it wont take you too long to figure it out. Try not to smash anything while learning how to walk and I do not, I repeat do not recommend you attempt to fly indoors. I will visit your room every so often to check if you're awake or not. Kind Regards, Princess Celestia.'

Well that definitely could have been worse. When I got myself out of the bed I fell flat on the floor. It took me ten minutes to get my self stable and get walking, not very well though. I slowly walked over to a mirror to examine myself. I was white with an orange mane with streaks of red in it. It kind of reminded me of fire. I had amber eyes still and my cutie mark made me smile. It was the St. Helens just with out 'St. Helens R.F.C.' written on it. What the fuck does it mean though. St. Helens until I die isn't a special talent. This body felt weird, walking on four legs isn't normal my entire centre of gravity has moved which isn't helping me in any way, shape or form. The tail is not as big of a problem as I thought it would be because of the tail bone. But walking is a huge problem, and I know I will have a bruised face before I get anywhere near perfecting it. And then there is the wings, I can feel them and it feels so weird, and it gets even better, I don't know how to move them so at the moment they are just useless pieces of the new me. I also learned something shouldn't work: when I fell on the floor the fifth time all four of my legs were spread out. Now I don't know much about anatomy involving animal but that should have done something bad to me yet I felt nothing except what you expect from falling over.

Celestia came by half an hour later to check up on me. "Don't you have princess shit to do?" I asked her. For being a princess she has a lot of free time.

"Yes but nothing my court can't handle." I should have thought about that.

"So now that you're here are you here to laugh at me every time I either fall on my face, my arse or my side. I mean surely there is something you can do, your a fucking semi-immortal princess of the second largest nation on this world and yet you check up on me." The largest is called the Prussian Nation yet only two counties from what was the Prussians back on Earth. And I might as well say the countries are more or less the same shape and size as they are here and back on Earth. Still can't fully believe that I'm on a completely different, universe at that and I will never see anyone I knew again. My entire family is dead but I still have friends. Or had now.

"No, Richard I am not here to laugh at you since it is perfectly understandable. And before you ask how I figured out your name it was very easy, the name 'Bambi' sounds, even though I've never heard it before, a little bit... feminine and quite frankly the amount of time you talk to yourself is unhealthy. I am here to see if awoke which you have."

"Really, I never noticed." I said sarcastically.

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere fast. Now that you're awake I can tell you that since you don't want to stay in my palace any longer than you have to I will send you on way to a small town called Ponyville wh- why are you looking at me like that?" I was giving her my best 'Are you for real?' face. "... Where you will be greeted by my student Twilight Sparkle, and by the look on your face I see that you remember her. While you are there you will also meet the five other ponies you met back in the Everfree forest," The Everfree is a big fucking depressing chunk of Equestria about 2/3 the size of the Amazon, well what it was like back in 2015, it was smaller back when I left. "And from what I've been told one of them wants to apologise."

"I hadn't forgot about that." Actually I had forgot but I will make sure not to forget. "And I get to say goodbye to Luna before i fuck off out of here. She's canny but the fact that she is a semi-immortal princess gets in the way of our conversations."

"She speaks highly of you despite that she seen first hoof," First hand, I think. "What you're capable of. Most of the guards know what you did so expect them to be weary of you if you change back to your original body."

"I can do that?" I asked.

"Yes but for the first few times it will need a unicorn, or alicorn, powerful enough to perform the reverse spell." I can live with that. "Also for both our sakes, do not tell my sister what happened during our first conversation without her." Yeah...

"I'm not ashamed of that." I was... a little.

"Well you should be, do you know how hard it is to find stain glass windows with that amount of detail?" Obviously not. "No matter, I will leave you to your walking attempts you seem to be doing well so far."

"I'm standing still, walking is difficult and I know I chose to be a Pegasus but I can't move my wings at all."

"Yes I did expect that to happen and I will arrange a time for you to return here so you can practice flying. I would send a tutor to help you but you're a twenty-one year old stallion that can't even move his wings let alone fly will cause a small amount of fuss. So either I or Luna who has more time to spare than me because almost everypony is asleep at night. Now if you will excuse me I have things to do."

"Not like I can stop you, but before you go I want to say thank you, for the eyes I mean, I really appreciate it."

"I know we have our differences," You could say that, "But knowing that how bad your eyesight was, it was the least I could do for saving my sisters life."

"Your not going to make a habit of bringing that up are you. Yes I know it's true but I don't like being reminded about what I did to save her." Two took a bullet to the brain while I ruptured another's spleen and he bled out quickly. The other two were lucky that they lived, when I say lucky Celestia did say to get them to say who hired them by all means necessary. Not so lucky after all.

"I... I see what you mean. Yes anyways, I hope to see you before you leave. Actually before I forget you're going to need a new name." She's got a point.

"...Bambi. Bambi Fuego." I hate myself sometimes. "Goodbye Celestia."

Luna came by that night to say goodbye, I also learned that Luna doesn't have many friends at all. "So Richard or is it Bambi again?"

"Still Richard."

"I see your leaving, for Ponyville it seems. If you don't mind me asking, how do you know of Ponyville and why go there of all places?"

"I never knew of Ponyville before today. And it wasn't my choice, Celestia decided that I should go there because her student lives there apparently." I heard Luna mutter something when I mentions Celestia's student. "I take it you don't really like... Twilight I think her name is, do you?" Luna shook her head.

"Also I heard that you are to be coming back soon for flying lessons from me."

"You hear a lot of things don't you Luny?" By god she hates that nickname I gave her, so all the more reason to call her it.

"You know I dislike that nickname."

"Then don't call me Richie." I'm still trying to figure out how she thought of that.

"I called you it twice." We had a short conversation about the little things before she left. I went to sleep with one thing on my mind. Next stop, Ponyville. Seriously what kind of name is that?

Author's Note:

I don't own MLP or any of it's characters. All other characters are a creation of inspiration and imagination.

Author's Note: Here's chapter three of LIAGWAMP (I love calling it that already) I hoped you liked it despite it being short. I did originally plan for chapter three and four to be combined but only recently abandoned that idea. Please don't forget to leave a comment. Stay put for chapter four. Until then, have a good one.