Chapter 2: Mercenary Bizarre
“I’m still a little confused,” Applejack said as she attempted to buckle on her leather cuirass while weaving through the busy, noisy throng of foot traffic on one of Canterlot’s side streets. They had stopped by the Apple family’s flat to pick up Winona and her other equipment, and then on Pinkie’s suggestion taken a ‘shortcut’ that Applejack swore was longer and more crowded than any main road she’d ever seen. “Why exactly are we headin’ to the Mercenary Bazaar if yer lookin’ to form a Guild? Don’t ya need to sign up with the government or somethin’?”
“Yes, that’s exactly right,” Twilight called over her shoulder as she and Pinkie likewise threaded between people a few steps ahead of their friend. “All officially sanctioned Adventurer’s Guilds need to be licensed by the Canterlot City Guild Chartering Office. Unfortunately, we’ll need to raise some funds first because the licensing fee that the city charges is, uh, a little steep.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow and stepped around a pair of men pushing a dolly stacked high with burlap sacks. “How steep?” Twilight didn’t appear to hear her, as the mage’s eyes settled on an elderly man depositing a large bundle of sticks and branches in a refuse cart that took up nearly half the road.
“Excuse me, Sir!” She dodged around a woman leading a leashed goat and stopped next to the cart, looking through the broken wood discerningly. The old man only blinked a couple of times as she selected and tugged free a fairly straight branch that was nearly as long as she was tall. She held it close to her face and squinted, tracing a finger down its rough, mottled surface. “What do you think, Spike?”
The pseudo-dragon stretched his long neck out from his master’s shoulder and took a few tentative whiffs of the branch. “Mm, the tree this came from was kinda young. A decade old at most. It’s not gonna hold many enchantments.”
“Well, it’ll have to do for now,” Twilight decided, turning back to the old man who was eyeing both wizard and familiar curiously. “Sir, I notice you’re throwing this wood away; would it be alright if I took this piece?”
“Uh… sure?”
“Thank you very much!” Twilight grinned as she turned away to rejoin the others.
“Ooh, nice stick!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I had a really cool stick once, but my sisters teased me all the time because it wasn’t a rock.”
“It’s not a stick, Pinkie, it’s my new staff,” she explained as she stripped a few sparse twigs from the branch, “or at least it will be once I cast a few basic dweomers on it.”
“Twilight,” Applejack said as they resumed walking, “how steep a fee are we talkin’ here?”
“Hm? Oh!” Twilight refocused on their earlier conversation. “Five thousand bits.”
Applejack’s jaw would have hit the cobblestones had it not still been attached to the rest of her face.
“Five thousand?!” she stopped in her tracks. “Are you outta yer apple-pickin’ mind? I’ve been pullin’ every odd job I could for the past six months and I ain’t earned anywhere near that much! It’ll take us forever to collect!”
“But with three of us we can take on more difficult, higher-paying jobs, right?” Twilight stepped just off the the side of the road to remove them from the main flow of traffic.
“Ooh, ooh!” Pinkie bounced up and down. “Plus, most of the wizards around here work for guilds and are super-expensive to hire, right? We’ve got one who’s really mega-awesomely-spectacular at magic but doesn’t come with a mega-awesomely-badtacular price tag! Ta-da!” She finished by throwing her hands toward Twilight as if presenting her to an audience, accompanied by a small burst of confetti from her voluminous sleeves and a strange, high-pitched squeal that none of the others could readily identify.
“Sure, one that everybody in town blames for-” Applejack snapped her mouth shut before she could finish. Twilight’s eyes widened for a moment before her gaze dropped to the side. “I’m sorry, surgarcube, I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s ok,” Twilight said. “You’re right, we probably shouldn’t mention who I am. Or anything about that night, actually.”
“Besides, Twilight’s not just good at magic, she’s the best at magic!” Spike cut in. “She’s way better than the all of the upperclassmen at the Academy put together!”
“Spike,” Twilight blushed.
Applejack put a hand to her chin. “Well, there’s almost always folks in the Bazaar sayin’ that they’ll pay more for a spell-slinger, that’s true, but I still don’t know Twilight. Five thousand bits is... shoot, I don’t think my family’s ever made that much all at once even from our best harvest seasons.”
“I know it seems far-fetched,” Twilight reassured, “but a certified Guild license carries a lot of weight with the nobility. With one, even a small Guild can charge thousands of bits for the simplest of contracts, and I promise the first thing we’ll do with the money we earn will be to buy back your family’s farm.”
Applejack’s eyes grew and focused on the mage. “You mean that? You’ll help me get Sweet Apple Acres back?”
“Ooh, ooh! After that will you help me open a candy shop? No! A bakery! Yeah, a big bakery with lots of bright colors and balloons and streamers and cupcakes and chocolate frosting!”
“What do you need a bakery for?” Spike asked. Pinkie looked at him with a deadpan stare.
“Duh! So I can bake things, sillyscales!”
“Of course I will, Pinkie,” Twilight laughed warmly. “After everything you two have done for me? It’s the least I can do to thank you.”
The normally stoic Applejack’s lower lip trembled as tears formed in the corners of her eyes, but she quickly wiped a gloved hand across her face and broke into a wide, excited grin.
“Well what’re we standin’ around here for then? Let’s go and rustle us up some work!”
What Victory Square had in artistic beauty and a peaceful, regal air, the Grand Market countered by being a buzzing hub of commerce, food, and a friendly place to gather. Both were ranked among the top social hotspots of Canterlot, frequented by nobles, merchants, and commoners alike. A visit to Equestria’s capital was not complete without seeing at least one or the other, as they represented the grace, tradition, and open-hearted culture Princess Celestia had cultivated over a millennium.
The Mercenary Bazaar was a far cry from either of them.
Rather than a wide, well-swept plaza, the ‘Bazaar’ was less a specific location than it was a general vicinity in western Canterlot where hundreds of mercenaries, Guild representatives, and anyone willing to hire them gathered each day. Men and women of every size, shape, and race filled the streets and back alleys alike, each hunting down their next job among the various impromptu stalls as hawkers shouted over one another--and the crowd--to advertise what type of work they were offering and how much they were willing to pay. Equestrian merchants bartered with dark-skinned and striped Zebrican mercenaries, while a small band of Griffonkin lancers, their feathered wings tucked tightly against their backs in the crowded streets, haggled over the details of their partnership with a pair of towering, muscular Minoans.
The air was thick with energy and the smell of sweat, but also the robust aroma of smoked meat as it appeared that several vendors were selling food rather than employment. Still more merchants offered weapons and armor of all kinds, from simple clubs and oiled leather to polished, worked steel that glinted in the mid-morning sun and had most likely been forged in one of the handful of blacksmiths’ shops the girls had passed on their way through.
At the center of it all was an intersection of a half-dozen larger streets that afforded just a bit more open space than the rest of the Bazaar. Here, a large, rickety wooden stage had been erected, and those who had the coin to spare could buy time on it to auction off the work they needed done to the lowest bidder. The crowd that was gathered before the stage was mostly made up of Guild representatives vying to under-bid the others without dropping the price of their services too low to make a profit. It was only slightly quieter than the rest of the Bazaar, but it was here that Applejack turned to her friends and nodded.
“Well, where’d’ya wanna start?”
“It seems smaller than I remember, but so much more crowded,” Twilight said absently as she took in the sights around them with a slow turn of her head.
“Have you been here before?” Pinkie asked.
“A long time ago,” the mage replied. “Ok! We’ve got a lot of ground to cover. Spike, checklist please.” The familiar reached into Twilight’s bag and pulled forth a scroll, which Twilight grasped with her magic and unfurled in front of her, mentally ticking off each item as she read. “I think our best bet is to split up and start asking around for any work that sounds feasible. Remember not to agree to anything without knowing the job and how much the pay is. Try to pick jobs that won’t take too long for the three of us to complete; no long-term guard duty or anything like that. We’ll meet back here at the auction stage in, say, three hours?” She looked up from her list to see the somewhat bewildered stares of her teammates looking back at her. “What?”
“Are you always this... organized?” Applejack asked.
“Of course!” Twilight huffed. “Organization is extremely important and can ensure that even complicated tasks are completed quickly and eff-”
“Right, gotcha,” Applejack interrupted. “Meet back in three hours, you said?”
Twilight frowned. “Yes. Any other questions?” A hand shot up into the air. “Yes Pinkie?”
“I need to use the bathroom.”
“Uh,” Twilight blinked at her, “you don’t need to ask permission for that.”
“Oh. Okie-dokie-lokie; you sounded like a teacher taking a bunch of kids on a field trip and I wasn’t sure.”
Twilight’s eyebrow began to twitch as Spike and Applejack both put hands to their mouths in vain attempts to suppress their laughter. “Right. Oh, and don’t forget to mention that there’s a mage in our group. One who can fry people with magic. Especially when she gets angry.”
“Cranky wizard on board; got it. See ya later, alligators!” Pinkie said as she bounded away.
“Wha- I am not cranky!” Twilight shouted after the entertainer, but she was long gone. “Ugh. Spike, could you track her down and keep an eye on her?”
Spike blinked before taking a couple of cursory sniffs of the air in the direction Pinkie had gone. “Yeah, there can’t be too many people here who smell like buttercream and cinnamon, but I’m not following her into the bathroom.”
“No!” Twilight rolled her eyes. “I’m just worried she’s going to get into trouble and I’d feel better if you were with her, that’s all.”
“You got it!” Spike leaped from her shoulder and scampered off into the crowd, weaving between people’s legs with deft precision as he followed Pinkie’s trail.
“Are you gonna be alright on yer own?” Applejack asked, drawing a nod from Twilight. “Ok, I’ll meet you back here in a bit. Good luck!”
“You too!” Twilight watched Applejack wade through the crowd toward one of the side streets, her height and Stetson making her easy to follow until she slipped around a bend. Twilight looked to another side street and took a deep breath.
“Here goes nothing.”
“He’s brown, and about this tall. He’s got a little white patch of fur around his left eye and he loves cucumbers.”
“Wait a second, ain’t you the same lady who was missin’ her dog last week?” Applejack asked. The old woman just blinked at her. “Come to think of it, I tracked down this mutt for ya last month! Little varmint bit me! Twice!”
“Well did you remember to give him a cucumber and tell him he was a pretty boy before you tried to pick him up?”
Applejack frowned. “Ma’am, I think maybe you oughtta just get yourself a leash.”
“... and when I woke up the next morning there was a huge bite missing!” a skinny man wearing an apron and a baker’s hat said, his voice nearly breaking.
Pinkie Pie gasped with her eyes wide. “That’s terrible! Who dun did it?”
“That’s just it! I don’t know!” he continued. “There were a dozen other bakers in the competition; any one of them could’ve sabotaged my confectionary masterpiece!”
“Is that a dozen dozen other bakers, or a baker’s dozen dozen other bakers?” Pinkie asked. The man furrowed his brow in confusion.
“Nevermind that; what kind of payment are we talking about here?” Spike piped up.
“I had a lot invested in this competition,” the baker admitted. “I don’t have much money right now, but I make the best Canterbury creampuffs this side of Trottingham. If you find the monster that ruined my decadent dessert, I’ll give you free samples for life!”
Pinkie’s eyes nearly bugged out of her skull as she gasped loud enough to turn more than a few heads. “You’ve got yourself a--hey! Who turned out the lights?” Her wide hat had suddenly been pushed down over her face, courtesy of the pseudo-dragon chaperone riding on her shoulder.
“Yeah, as nice as that sounds, I don’t think it’s quite what we’re looking for. Sorry, buddy.” The baker nodded and walked off, his shoulders slumped.
“Whadja do that for?” Pinkie said as she set her hat back in it’s proper place. “That was literally the sweetest job offer ever!”
“Ha ha,” Spike snorted and crossed his tiny arms over his chest. “Look, I like junk food as much as the next dragon, but we can’t trade creampuffs for a guild license.”
“I bet we could if we found a ‘guild licenses for creampuffs’ merchant.”
“... Let’s just keep looking, ok?”
“Okie dokie lokie, but I reserve the right to consume any and all creampuffs we find on whatever job we end up taking!”
“Did you just say ‘rats’?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. The stout, balding man before her nodded.
“But not jus’ any rats! Giant, mutant rats!”
Twilight considered this for a moment, hand on her chin. “I didn’t think they actually existed.”
“Most folks don’t. The poisonous gas in the swamp where they live has strange, mystical properties. It’s what’s made ‘em grow so big and makes ‘em bloodthirsty!”
“Bloodthirsty?” Twilight took a slight step back.
The man nodded again. “Uh-huh! They’ll rip out yer throat soon as look atcha! Assumin’ that the gas itself doesn’t suffocate ya before they find ya.”
“... Suffocate?”
“Anyway, it’s their feces that I want ya to collect. The mystical elements in the swamp gas concentrate in it, and-- hey, where ya goin’?!”
“So lemme get this straight,” Applejack gently massaged the bridge of her nose in an attempt to alleviate her growing headache. “There’s a fully grown, fire-breathin’ dragon takin’ a nap in a cave not too far from your home?”
“Our summer home, yes,” the male half of the couple before her answered. “We just purchased it a few months ago.”
“And he snores?”
“Terribly so!” the woman exclaimed. “Why, the noise is bad enough, but the smoke! Ugh! All my mother’s finely upholstered furniture has been ruined! Ruined, I say!”
“Why don’t ya just move away?”
“Our summer home is in a prime location just on the edge of Horseshoe lake,” the man scoffed. “The construction permits and land deed alone cost a fortune, and I am not about to lose out on an investment like that just because of some obnoxious, uncouth beast.”
“Ok, so you’re lookin’ for someone to take care of the dragon for ya then. Jobs like that ain’t exactly cheap.”
“Money is no object, and the sooner it can be done the better!” the woman said. “Before long it’ll be too cold to host any outdoor events there, and really, what’s the point of having a summer home without them?”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Anyway, it sounds like we have ourselves a deal. I’ll have to see what my partners think though; killin’ a dragon is a mighty tall order for just the three of us.”
The couple went pale. “Killing? Whoever said anything about killing it?”
Applejack blinked. “Beg pardon?”
“We’re not barbarians!” the man said. “We want this issue resolved in a civilized manner. Besides, think of what all that blood would do to the property values!”
“Not to mention the smell!” the woman chimed in. “How could we even hope to host a garden party in a garden that smelled like rotting meat and brimstone? We’d be the laughing stock of the Canterlot elite!”
“What we want you to do is simply wake the dragon up and inform it that it is illegally trespassing on our land, and that it needs to go. I’ve heard dragons are intelligent creatures, so I’m certain it will understand.”
“... You want someone to wake up a sleeping dragon and nicely ask it to move because he’s trespassin’?”
“Exactly,” he said, and the woman nodded in agreement.
Applejack felt her headache coming back.
“They say the Swamp Elf is huge--as tall as a tree! It’s been known to hurl rocks great distances, and it has the evil eye! If it ever locks eyes on you...”
Spike and Pinkie let out a combined gasp.
“W-what happens?” Spike shivered as he clutched Pinkie’s hat tighter. “What happens if it locks eyes with you?” The bald mercenary they were speaking with grinned mischievously.
“They say-”
“Lemme guess, lemme guess! Um…” Pinkie hesitated for a split second. “Does it give you candy? Or does it grant you three wishes?”
The mercenary’s brow furrowed. “No, when it locks eyes with you-”
“Ooh, ooh! Does it break out into song and invite you into it’s home where it introduces you to it’s wife Lucinda and their two children: Janet and Baron Von Liverwurst the third? And then after you’ve all had a scrumptious dinner of deep-fried baked potatoes with a licorice glaze and salt water casserole spiced with cayenne pepper and just a hint of vanilla, all of you play the most awesomest of awesome party games like Pictionary and pin the tail on the pony?”
The mercenary just stared for a moment, his mouth slightly agape and unable to even blink. “You know what? Forget it.” he abruptly turned and hurried away.
“Aww! Aren’t you even going to tell me if I’m right?” Pinkie pouted as Spike crawled down onto her shoulder.
“What the heck is Pictionary?”
“I’unno,” she shrugged. “What the heck is an elf?”
“You must help us break the curse on our village!” a man, his shoulders stooped from age and with dark bluish-black splotches on his hands and face, pleaded urgently. “If it continues much longer we’ll surely all fall victim to it!” The exertion behind his cries caused him to waver slightly before the young man and woman at his sides, both of whom bore similar skin discolorations, reached out to steady him.
“Elder, please try to stay calm!” the woman said. “Your heart-”
“It doesn’t matter!” he shouted back, looking down on his blemished hands as tears gathered at the corners of his eyes. “I’d rather my heart gave out on me than to have to suffer this magical disease like so many of our people have… like my son did…”
“That’s not going to happen. As a wizard, I promise that I’ll do everything I can to lift this curse,” Twilight said firmly, “but I’ll need a place to start. Do you have any idea as to where it came from in the first place?”
“Well, we do have one theory,” the younger man said with a slight touch of hesitation.
“Sorta,” the woman cringed.
“What is it?”
“The only way to lift the curse and save our village is to destroy the moon!” the old man declared.
Twilight stared at him for a long, awkward moment as the young pair hung their heads to hide their reddening faces.
“Uh, come again?”
“Everything started a few years ago, shortly after a night when the moon glowed with an eerie purple light! The moon has clearly turned against us and the only solution is to blast it out of the sky forever!”
Twilight’s mouth fell open. “You… you can’t just destroy the moon! For one thing something like that just isn't possible, but Princess Celestia uses it to help control the tides, and it provides light at night so people can see what they’re doing! Destroying it would throw the entire world out of balance! And besides, I doubt that the moon itself is behind your troubles no matter what color it was. After all, correlation does not equal causation.”
“Oh,” the old man said, blinking as he appeared to consider Twilight’s words. “I’ve got nothing then.”
Twilight groaned and buried her face in her hands.
“Ya want me to do what now?”
“Are you deaf, girl?” a leather-faced woman with stringy grey hair said as she stuck her nose uncomfortably close to Applejack’s. “I want you to turn me into a rabbit! You know what a rabbit is, dontcha?”
“Well, yeah, but-”
“Well but-nothing! You said you had a wizard, surely she’s got some spell or some fancy-schmancy magical staff what will do the trick! What’re ya waitin’ for? Hop to it! I’ll be over at the marketplace buyin’ some carrots, so come find me there when you’re ready.” With that the woman turned and skipped away humming an off-key tune.
Applejack stood frozen in place, not even bothering to watch the woman leave. After a moment she shook her head and walked off in the opposite direction.
“Still not the weirdest person I’ve talked to today.”
“Gesundheit,” Spike said as Pinkie sniffed and shook her head to try and recover from the monstrous sneeze she’d just unexpectedly unleashed. “You getting a cold or something?”
“Nah, wheezy-sneeze is Pinkie Sense for ‘one of your friends thinks you’re a weirdo’.”
“I’m surprised you ever stop sneezing,” Spike rolled his eyes. He then pointed to a nearby vendor. “Hey, lets try that stall over there!” Pinkie veered toward the spot in question. The stall itself was filled with cages and glass containers of varying shapes and sizes, each holding one or more of a dizzying array of animals from lizards and rodents to fish and birds. The vendor, a portly man with a shock of brown hair on his head that looked a little too full and rich to be real, spotted their approach and smiled broadly.
“Welcome, My Lady! Welcome to Cyrano’s Marvelous Menagerie! I see that you are already the proud owner of an exotic pet! And what a fine pseudo-dragon he is, if I may say so myself!”
“Well, well, well,” Spike’s tiny chest puffed up with pride. “See? This guy knows I’m not just a talking lizard.”
“Thanks!” Pinkie beamed. “Spike isn’t mine though, he belongs to my friend Twilight.”
“Oh?” Cyrano’s bushy eyebrows rose. “In that case, can I interest you in a companion of your own? Perhaps a rare macaw from the jungles of Zebrica? Or a pair of well-trained ferrets?”
Pinkie’s eyes suddenly lit up as she leaned over the counter, invading Cyrano’s personal space in trademarked Pinkie Pie fashion. “Ooh! Do you have a toothless alligator?”
“Um,” Cyrano stammered, blushing slightly as the tip of Pinkie’s nose squashed against his. “No, I’m afraid that I don’t have any alligators of the toothless variety. Although…” He stepped back and lifted a large black box from beneath the counter and set it down before them. Pinkie and Spike leaned in closer and strained their ears as a faint buzzing sound emanated from it. “Just today I’ve come into the possession of something extremely rare and unique; something that I’m sure you’ll be interested in!”
He unlatched the case and slowly drew back the lid, allowing a small, round insect-like creature with comically large compound eyes and four membranous wings to hop forth onto the edge of the box. It’s wings fluttered for a moment as it looked up at them and made a soft trilling sound.
“Hey, it’s kinda cute for a bug!” Spike said as it flew up and lighted on his arm, nuzzling against his scales. “I think it likes me! Pinkie, can we-”
“NOPE!” Pinkie shouted suddenly, grabbing the insect, stuffing it back into the box, re-locking said box with a padlock and length of chain that had certainly not been there a moment ago, and shoved the entire thing back into a confused Cyrano’s arms. She turned and started running away from the Menagerie at a speed that forced Spike’s back legs and tail to fly out behind him as he struggled to keep a grip on her hat. “Nope, nope, nope, nope, NOPE!”
“A particularly aggressive pack of timberwolves has taken up residence in the northern forests of my fiefdom,” A nobleman, well-dressed in striking scarlet and gold hues, explained to Twilight. “A reward of ten thousand bits will be yours as payment for removing them.”
“Ten thousand?” Twillight’s eyes nearly bugged right out of her head. “That’s an astounding sum for simple monster hunting. With that kind of money, why not contract with a Guild?”
“Yes, well,” the nobleman glanced to the side, running a hand through his wavy blonde locks, “I am not on the best terms with the local Adventurer’s Guilds. I’ve been a vocal opponent of the way they operate and influence city politics, and it would be unseemly for me to request their aid now.” He refocused his dark-reddish eyes on her. “So? Will you accept the task, or not?”
“Oh!” Twilight nodded. “Yes, I think we will! I just need to tell my friends, but I’m sure they’ll agree.”
“Agree to what?”
Twilight turned and grinned as she spotted Applejack and Pinkie Pie, Spike still riding upon the latter’s hat, making their way toward her, but her smile quickly faded.
“What’s wrong? Applejack, you look like you’re about to hit something and Pinkie… Pinkie you actually look tired.” She paused. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
“We didn’t have much in the way of good luck tryin’ to find us a job,” Applejack said, accompanied by a slow, nodded agreement from Pinkie and Spike.
Twilight’s smile returned as she gestured to the nobleman at her side. “Well, our luck just turned around. I’ve got us some simple, straightforward work that will pay double the bits we need!”
Applejack’s eyes widened as the nobleman offered a small but polite bow. “Yer kiddin’ me! Really?”
“Heehee! I knew you could do it, Twilight!” Pinkie perked up instantly.
“So what’s the job?” Spike asked, leaping to his masters’ shoulder.
“We just have to-”
“Excuse me,” the nobleman cut in with a raised hand. “What did she call you?”
The color drained from Twilight’s face. “Um… what did whom call who?”
“The pink-haired girl. She called you Twilight just now.” His eyes narrowed. “Are you her? Are you Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight swallowed as Applejack shot a glare at Pinkie, who sputtered.
“No! No I didn’t! I called her… Flybright! Y-yeah!” She bounced over to hug Twilight. “This is Flybright Darkle!” She slid over to the noble and lightly elbowed him in the ribs in a knowing manner. “Dunno who this Twilight Sparkle person you’re talking about is, but she sure sounds shifty! Hehe, glad we’re not doing business with her, am I right?”
The nobleman glowered, his presence suddenly turning venomous as he ignored everything but the mage. “One of the warehouses you destroyed belonged to a close business partner of mine. His son was inside.”
A soft, strangled gasp escaped Twilight’s lips.
“Now hold on there a second, that ain’t-!” Applejack began, but Twilight held up a hand to silence her. The mage attempted to match stares with the nobleman, but after only a short time she faltered, averting her eyes and bowing her head in defeat. His grip on the sword at his hip tightened. Applejack grit her teeth and fingered Winona’s handle while Pinkie and Spike looked on with worry for an unforgivingly long moment. Finally, the nobleman stepped around Twilight, making no apology when his shoulder collided with hers, and strode off.
“Few would complain if I were to kill you where you stand, but the public eye is the last place I wish to be at the moment. Consider yourself lucky.” He scoffed, almost as an afterthought. “Here I was trying to get rid of beasts, and I nearly hired a monster.”
Pinkie Pie frowned as he disappeared into the crowd. “Don’t listen to that stuffy snob Twilight! You don’t look anything like a monster!”
Twilight managed a weak smile as the tension left her shoulders, causing them to sag slightly. “I think I need to sit down for a minute.”
The four friends made their way to the opening of a nearby alley where an assortment of barrels and crates provided a number of places to take a load off. Applejack remained standing, while Pinkie and Twilight found themselves a pair of barrels that were a comfortable height to sit on.
“I’m gettin’ mighty tired of hearin’ folks blame you for somethin’ that I did,” Applejack said firmly as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Princess Celestia instructed me to keep the whole matter as quiet as possible,” Twilight shook her head. “Even telling you guys what she said was probably going too far. Besides, it was my fault that any of us were even there that night. No one else should have to suffer for my mistake.”
“And whaddya call us havin’ to watch as folks spit on you, huh?” Applejack shot back with an unexpected venom. “Is that s’posed to be fun for us?”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
Applejack sighed, breaking into a sad smile. “Sugarcube, I know you’re new to this whole ‘friendship’ thing, but part of having friends means that ya don’t have to deal with your troubles all by your lonesome, y’know? We don’t need to go around spoutin’ anythin’ about treacherous wizards, magical gems or whatnot, but at least let me take some of the blame.”
“Me too,” Spike smiled from her shoulder.
“Me too, me too!” Pinkie gasped, drawing confused stares from the others. “What? I don’t wanna feel left out.” She pulled Twilight into a sideways hug. “Problems are just like parties: the more people you have the better they get! And we’re a party now, so whenever one of us is feeling down in the dumps, it’s up to the rest of us to help get them feeling spiffy again!”
“But,” Twilight stammered, “you see how people are treating me… do you really want them to start doing the same to all of you?”
“If we’re plannin’ on makin’ a Guild with you then it’s gonna happen sooner or later anyway,” Applejack said. “‘Sides, troubles never seem as bad when you’ve got folks willin’ to share ‘em.”
Twilight stared at her two smiling friends for a moment before a grin crept onto her own features. She closed her eyes and bowed her head slightly. “Thank you.”
“E-excuse me...”
The three girls and the pseudo-dragon turned to face a short, spindly man who stood in the alley entrance. He was dressed in the quality silks of a merchant, had a thin bespectacled face and short, well-kept brown hair. His hands shook a little as he wrung them together. “I apologize for intruding, but I overheard what that man said. Are you really Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight shared a knowing glance with her friends as she stood and stepped up to face the man directly with Applejack and Pinkie Pie at her sides. “Yes, I am.”
“You got a problem with that?!” Pinkie Pie all but shouted in the man’s face as she zipped right up to him and poked a finger into his chest. The man cringed and threw up his arms to shield his head.
“No! No no no, no p-problem! Please don’t hurt me!”
“Pinkie, calm down,” Applejack tugged the pink-haired terror back by her collar. “We ain’t gonna hurt ya buddy, unless you’re here to start somethin’.”
He shook his head frantically. “Oh, not at all! I want to hire you!”
Four sets of eyes blinked. “You do?” Twilight herself asked.
“Most definitely! I’m desperately in need of someone like you.” He adjusted his glasses as he looked the whole group over. “Actually, all three of you look like you would be perfect...” his gaze lingered on Pinkie. “... mostly.”
“Perfect for what?” Applejack raised an eyebrow.
“The short answer is that I’m looking for women who can handle themselves in a fight, and who aren’t afraid of getting their hands dirty. If you want a more detailed explanation, could I ask you to accompany me to a tavern just down the street? I have another potential hire waiting there for me and time is a factor so I’d rather not have to explain everything more than once.”
The four friends exchanged concerned glances. “Could you give us a moment?”
The man nodded, and Twilight, Applejack and Pinkie Pie turned towards each other and gathered into a huddle.
“I don’t like it,” Applejack spoke first. “Where was this guy earlier when we were lookin’ for a job? It could be a trap to lure Twilight someplace outta sight and do her in.”
“Maybe,” Twilight nodded, “but we’ve been all over the Bazaar and come up empty. If he’s telling the truth we could be blowing our last chance by turning him down.”
“He does seem kinda nervous, but maybe he’s just scared of Twilight,” Spike added.
“Gee, thanks Spike,” Twilight frowned. “Pinkie, what do you--Pinkie?” She blinked at the suspiciously empty space next to her that the entertainer should have been standing in.
“So is your job offer for realsies, or are you a sneaky meanie-pants trying to hurt my friend?” Pinkie asked the man.
“Pinkie!” Applejack, Twilight, and Spike exclaimed in unison. The man frowned.
“I understand how unusual this must seem, and I certainly don’t blame you for not trusting me,” he said as he scratched the back of his head. “To be honest, part of me isn’t sure that hiring someone with your reputation is the right thing to do, but I’m completely desperate at this point.” He looked up and for the first time looked Twilight straight in the eye. “Please, Twilight Sparkle, I need your help!”
Twilight’s mouth opened slightly, but she otherwise maintained her composure at the man’s sudden and seemingly sincere outburst. She glanced at Applejack, who merely shrugged.
“Aw, c’mon Twilight, who could turn down a face like this?” Pinkie asked as she stood beside the man and grabbed his cheeks, pulling to accentuate his pleading frown while making a similar expression herself. Twilight suppressed a giggle.
“All right, the least we can do it hear about your offer. Lead the way, mister…?”
“Early Shipment,” he said with a small grin. “I tell my friends to call me Early, but they usually just call me whenever they feel like it.” Applejack’s raised eyebrow was the group’s only response. “Sorry, little joke… um, follow me.”
There are, like, a bazillion references in this chapter. Name all you can! 
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finally a new chapter I have been waiting sooooo long
“They say the Swamp Elf is huge--as tall as a tree! It’s been known to hurl rocks great distances, and it has the evil eye! If it ever locks eyes on you...”
the only one I recognized and I laughed
You know, if the dragon was a fire dragon, they could have just asked him to break the moon.
I guess job hunting is just as tough in a fantasy world as it is in our own XP
Still I'm looking forward to seeing how the adventure continues.
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Yeah, I'd say I write like a sloth, but I'm pretty sure that's not slow enough,
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Only if they also had a super strong, badass wizard who could insta-change the weapon she uses, and then they... oh, wait...
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll7k6j3gU71qfp25u.gif
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Well hang onto your britches, 'cause if I can get my dog to stop bugging me the next chapter will be up sometime tomorrow!
Ah, the joys of job hunting. Even in the medieval world it's hard to find good work.
Not to mention watching out for the ROUSes. Bastards.
Pinkie's reaction to finding a parasprite was great.
Very enjoyable update. Looks like we'll be getting into the who and what next time. Till then!
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yay update! I never gave up and I was truly justified!
One question if you don't mind, how many books have you planned?
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Thanks for the comment as always RT!
Stand by for that 'who and what'; next chapter will be up later tonight (once my editor stops working on her 'Steam Punkie Pie' cosplay long enough to read the rest of the thing,
)
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)
So I take it you found this update marginally enjoyable then? (
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Y'know, I'm not quite sure anymore. Originally I had something like 12-13 planned, but I'm wondering if I shouldn't just combine everything into one story for the sake of simplicity. I do kinda like having the separate arcs broken out as 'complete' stories, but maybe that isn't the best way to go about things. Maybe I'll put a little poll question in the next update's author's note...
Great chapter. I wonder what would Spike and that dragon would talk about.
This chapter just went through every RPG quest ever.