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Infamous: Meeting Applejack
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The sun shone on the apple orchard of Sweet Apple Acres, the family farm and home of Applejack and the Apple Family. Applejack woke up at the crack of dawn to buck the apples, and make apple cider later on to sell.
Applejack was putting her back into it with a lot of effort, she didn't show an inch of weakness. Hard work on the farm is always a challenge for some ponies, other ponies can show their strength to the best of their abilities to handle it. The Apple family is no exception, working together as one unit can get anything done when they put their mind to it like a well oiled machine.
Delsin and Twilight walked over to the apple orchard, where Applejack was bucking apples and dropping the apples into a huge assortment of buckets. ''Hey, Applejack!'' Twilight shouted, waving over to her friend.
''Howdy, Twilight. Who's your friend there?'' Applejack kicked the base of the tree with her hind legs stretched out, her hooves smacking the hard wood of the tree as the apples tumbled down into the buckets.
''This is Delsin, Applejack.'' Twilight pointed her hoof to Delsin. ''Delsin, this is my friend, Applejack.''
Delsin bumped his hoof with the top of Applejack's hoof. ''Nice to meet you, Applejack.''
''The pleasure is all mine, sugarcube. So what can I do you for?''
''Delsin was wondering if he could help you with your chores today, isn't that right?'' Twilight asked, she smiled with a huge grin on her face.
''Of course, I'm trying to get to know Twilight's friends, after I saved Ponyville from an attack from the timberwolves.'' Delsin said.
''Ah heard that blast from a mile away, that was an impressive fight you gave to them partner!'' Applejack tipped her hat in respect, still bucking the apples down.
''You wouldn't mind letting Delsin stay here to help you around the farm today?''
''Ah wouldn't mind at all, you can leave him with me. You can go have a wonderful time back at the library.'' Applejack said, waving to Twilight with a goodbye.
''Delsin, do you know how to buck apples?'' Applejack asked, bucking the last set of apples into the basket.
''Not that I'm familiar with, Applejack.'' Delsin scratched his head in confusion.
The flamboyant conduit wasn't familiar with the customs that Ponyville had to offer, but that didn't stop him from trying. Everypony knows that Applejack is a hardworking mare who would help anypony in need, always being honest, and putting her friends before the possessions that she desires.
''Apple bucking is where you buck a tree with your hooves, and apples fall down as a result.'' Applejack demonstrated the whole apple bucking process, the foundation of the trees, and how hard you have to kick for the apples to fall.
''I see, I'll give it the old college try.'' Delsin got ready in the position to kick the tree with his hind legs facing the tree.
''Are you ready, Delsin?'' Applejack gave Delsin her encouragement with a wink.
''Ready!'' Delsin kicked the tree with all of his might and strength, the apple tree shook with the apples tumbling down in the process. ''I guess I don't know my own strength.''
Applejack giggled, turning her head to Delsin. ''Let's go bring these buckets of apples to the cider station.''
''Okay!''
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The two ponies brought the apples in the buckets, removing the apples from the buckets, and placing the apples into the cider squeezer. They pulled the lever to squeeze the apples, the apples squished under the pressure of the squeezer as the cider from the inside of the apples was poured into a stack of cups.
''That's the last of it, thanks for helping me, Delsin.'' Applejack pats Delsin on the back, throwing her saddlebag over her back.
''No problem, AJ. If you need help with anything else, let me know.''
''Will do, well it was nice meeting you, later partner!'' Applejack smiled and waved her hoof, as Delsin walked his path back to Twilight's library.
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Delsin reached the front door of the library, as the sun was setting down in the distance. A remarkable day came to a close when he met Applejack, now he is going to enjoy a relaxing end to a wonderful day. He walked into the library, watching Twilight read a book about nuclear astrophysics with a nuclear atom on the cover.
He sneaked behind Twilight without making a sound, howling like a wolf to startle her.
AH!
Twilight jumped up to her feet and looked at Delsin with a startled expression. ''Delsin, everypony knows that they should not sneak up behind me like that when I'm reading a book about nuclear astrophysics.''
''How specifically detailed.'' Delsin giggled, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a glass of milk.
''Yeah...how was your time with Applejack?'' Her magic placed the book back in the right section of the bookcase.
''It was amazing, Twilight. She is a very interesting, hardworking pony who dedicates her life to ensuring that the lives of her friends and family are very well in the present, past, and future.'' Delsin drinks the glass of the milk, the empty glass was left on the kitchen counter.
Twilight trotted upstairs to her bed, where Spike was still asleep. In secrecy, Spike was reading the latest issue of the Power Ponies comic book series, he had to trade a mint condition comic to attain this limited edition one. It was sold out for weeks now, but Spike was able to get it at the Rainbow Falls Traders Exchange.
Twilight laid down in her bed and snuggled under the covers, stretching her hooves over the covers. The covers were a shade of dark blue with clear white stars and the moon. Twilight's favorite constellation has always been Orion, she loved studying and researching about it just to let the knowledge sink in. Finally, she fell asleep.
Delsin laid on the floor after drinking the glass of milk, either the milk knocked him out or he was too lazy to get up. However, he has been preventing any nightmares of Augustine to pop in his head once again, or the red moon will return again. He started to rise up to his hooves and walked to the bookcase.
He tapped his hoof on the bookcase, the wall of the bookcase retracted and slid open as an empty room with candles that were already lit surround each other in a circle. The room was pitch dark, but with the candles in the room, it was very well lit. Delsin sat down in the middle of the circle with his legs crossed, he concentrated on channeling his powers.
His body was floating in mid-air with the candles rotating around him, the concentration of his powers became stronger with his body getting used to the adjustments. The candles merged together with a huge flame protruding from the candles, as the candles crashed down to the floor below him. Sparks flew with a perfect amount of smoke coming from the sparks, he stretched his hand out and absorbed the smoke from the sparks.
His body stepped out of his subconscious as the candles returned to their normal state. He ran back out of the secret compartment, and slid the bookcase back into place. ''That was close.''
Tired from exhaustion, he dropped down on the library floor.
very interesting, great chapter
4265490 Really? Thanks again!
4265498 hey just being honest here, the story is really good in my book
4265542 I wouldn't say that it's my best work, but thank you though!
4265565 your welcome and again it's awesome on my book
4265580 Good to know!
It is awesome to see such an interesting idea written so well!
4267063 Thank you!
4269162 I didn't really notice, but thanks for telling me.
For some reason, I don't like it…
4269208 Well, there was nothing else to add to it. But, you will love the next chapter though.
4269217 I hope so… :)
4269228 Great!
4271009 Thank you for your honest and well-detailed review.
4271047 I need to practice more.
Whooooa, just realized he's a pony...might wanna make a bigger deal out of it than you did...I skimmed right over it.... Then again, I'm skimming so....
Okay, your biggest pacing issue is the lack of conflict and the direct way they speak.
No one ever questions anything, they just go along with it. Start some arguments between Delsin and the other pony folk, rile him up! He feels like a pansy just going with the flow, make him mad, or make some pony question why there's a weirdo in a hoodie standing around! You could spend a few paragraphs sorting out one problem if you decided to make him just say no. Once that's done a fluid, (Or purposefully clunky) argument can begin! And you'll slow you pace!
Me and my writing tricorn suggest practice, verbal testing of dialogue, and arguments. As soon as a species can talk, the first thing it will do is argue. But seriously, keep practicing. It all comes with time. That and really do say the words out loud, not the lead up, the actual dialogue.
Final verdict: 6/10
+1 for encouragement
Feel free to call me back if you need me.
4271128 Thank you so much, I'll keep practicing!
Imma be honest here. This has the same problem most other inFamous fics have, and that's that Delsin (or Cole) is just too OOC.
Did you see the way Delsin reacted to his powers? I'm going to assume that his reaction was almost the same as waking up equine, but in this story he goes 'oh, I'm a pony.' and walks away. I know he's a badass, but that dosen't mean he dosen't give a fuck.